New Year's Day 1997, Leeds at SJP, 3-0 yiz bastads! Overshadowed by Keegan's leaving 7 days later so it would have been nice to have some time to reflect on a good result. Shearer scored in the first 5 minutes. A beardo corner met by a leaping Sir Les at the far post who knocked it down for Al to smack on the volley beyond Martyn. The other 2 were in the last 15 minutes. Shearer again took control of the ball from a corner, he brought it down 4 yards out and then dribbled back and round through no less than 5 Leeds players and deflected it in off Palmer. The third was all about Big Les's explosive power. The ball was cut back across the box and he arrived at something like the speed of light and blasted it in - many times the previous season we'd seen those heading Stamlike into the stands, but he buried this one. Two big lads hammering their way through; simple but lovely.
Points
Hislop 7 (appearance + clean sheet + G/Dif)
Watson 2
Beresford 1 (booked)
Peacock 2
Albert 2
Batty 1 (booked)
Lee 2
Clark 2
Beardsley 2
Shearer 5 (booked but 2 goals)
Ferdinand 4 (goal)
|
Results: Match 20
BBS Premier Corinthian League
| Toon Goons | 0-3 | Athletico Backworth |
| Wallsend Old Boys | 0-1 | Barton's Samba |
| Woodstock County | 1-5 | Beardo United |
| Yelli's Yobs | 4-2 | Borussia Canwehaveourballbach |
| MinesaS&N Academicals | 4-3 | Brewery Droopers United |
| Pilgrim's Converts | 4-0 | Dabizas Pleazas |
| Proper Lard Unathletic | 0-0 | Duncan's Disorderlies |
| Steph's Superstars | 4-0 | MacBeth's Marauders |
With Proper Lard Unathletic and Duncan's Disorderlies not trying terribly hard to produce any kind of result the word is that a draw suited both of these newly promoted sides and that this result was no accident...
BBS Notionless League Division 1
| Screacher's Creatures | 5-0 | Baxter Basics |
| Spayne | 4-3 | Blaydon Racers |
| The Gallowgate | 3-1 | Carlisle United Revisited |
| The Stellar Warriors | 6-0 | Chevy's Choppers |
| Jessie's High Pants | 1-0 | Corinthian Smart-Casuals |
| Pete's Porkie Pies | 1-0 | Dudley Boys |
| Quantum Mechanicals | 6-3 | Howdon Harriers |
| Real Zaragossy | 0-0 | ITK Heaton World Beaters |
Howdon Harriers have lost it badly here, but all the talk is of The Gallowgate whose current form is frightening; could they still challenge for the title?
BBS Notionless League Division 2
| Superstitious FC | 4-3 | Bewildered De Builders |
| The Entertainers | 8-0 | Ceptic |
| Toon Gutter Snipes | 1-0 | Doomed United |
| Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles | 2-0 | Douglas All Boys (B) Team |
| Real Seghill | 4-0 | FC Forget-Me-Nots |
| Sexy Boys | 0-5 | FC Jumpers for Goal Posts |
| Shilbottle WMC | 1-0 | Gallowgateaserai |
| SS Enterprise | 4-1 | Preston Big End |
Young Elliott teaches Clarky a thing or two about team selection there, while The Sexy Boys stump up a pathetic zero...rumours of a players' strike abound.
BBS Premier Corinthian League Table
| Position | Team | Manager | Won | Dwn | Lst | G/F | G/A | G/Dif | Points |
| 1 | Pilgrim's Converts | Pilgrim | 13 | 4 | 3 | 51 | 25 | 26 | 43 |
| 2 | MinesaS&N Academicals | muzzainoz | 11 | 3 | 6 | 46 | 31 | 15 | 36 |
| 3 | Brewery Droopers United | Windy | 12 | 0 | 8 | 43 | 28 | 15 | 36 |
| 4 | Yelli's Yobs | Yelli | 10 | 5 | 5 | 49 | 36 | 13 | 35 |
| 5 | Steph's Superstars | Steph | 10 | 4 | 6 | 43 | 31 | 12 | 34 |
| 6 | Athletico Backworth | Jonno | 9 | 6 | 5 | 39 | 33 | 6 | 33 |
| 7 | Beardo United | Beardo | 8 | 3 | 9 | 47 | 46 | 1 | 27 |
| 8 | Barton's Samba | Barton | 8 | 2 | 10 | 22 | 37 | -15 | 26 |
| 9 | Proper Lard Unathletic | Tony Green jnr | 7 | 4 | 9 | 31 | 30 | 1 | 25 |
| 10 | Duncan's Disorderlies | Dunx | 7 | 4 | 9 | 27 | 29 | -2 | 25 |
| 11 | Borussia Canwehaveourballbach | SMB | 7 | 4 | 9 | 44 | 47 | -3 | 25 |
| 12 | Toon Goons | Ciara | 6 | 5 | 9 | 29 | 38 | -9 | 23 |
| 13 | Dabizas Pleazas | PeteT | 7 | 2 | 11 | 27 | 45 | -18 | 23 |
| 14 | Wallsend Old Boys | Hiro | 6 | 3 | 11 | 33 | 53 | -20 | 21 |
| 15 | MacBeth's Marauders | MacBeth | 5 | 5 | 10 | 26 | 41 | -15 | 20 |
| 16 | Woodstock County | Cliff | 5 | 4 | 11 | 26 | 32 | -6 | 19 |
BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table
| Position | Team | Manager | Won | Dwn | Lst | G/F | G/A | G/Dif | Points |
| 1 | Quantum Mechanicals | True | 13 | 4 | 3 | 45 | 23 | 22 | 43 |
| 2 | The Stellar Warriors | Galaxy | 12 | 3 | 5 | 42 | 27 | 15 | 39 |
| 3 | Howdon Harriers | Softie | 10 | 4 | 6 | 46 | 29 | 17 | 34 |
| 4 | Carlisle United Revisited | Scratchy | 10 | 4 | 6 | 38 | 30 | 8 | 34 |
| 5 | Baxter Basics | Baxter | 9 | 3 | 8 | 29 | 33 | -4 | 30 |
| 6 | Screacher's Creatures | Screacher | 7 | 7 | 6 | 42 | 41 | 1 | 28 |
| 7 | The Gallowgate | Kegsy | 8 | 4 | 8 | 31 | 45 | -14 | 28 |
| 8 | Jessie's High Pants | Loony Toon | 8 | 3 | 9 | 24 | 26 | -2 | 27 |
| 9 | Spayne | Kevin Koogan (Garcie) | 7 | 6 | 7 | 34 | 39 | -5 | 27 |
| 10 | Blaydon Racers | Geordie | 6 | 8 | 6 | 39 | 35 | 4 | 26 |
| 11 | Real Zaragossy | Dr Bill | 7 | 4 | 9 | 41 | 43 | -2 | 25 |
| 12 | Pete's Porkie Pies | Pete in Canada | 6 | 6 | 8 | 23 | 23 | 0 | 24 |
| 13 | Dudley Boys | Hayley | 6 | 5 | 9 | 22 | 29 | -7 | 23 |
| 14 | Corinthian Smart-Casuals | The Geordie Jew | 6 | 4 | 10 | 29 | 35 | -6 | 22 |
| 15 | ITK Heaton World Beaters | ITK | 5 | 5 | 10 | 17 | 31 | -14 | 20 |
| 16 | Chevy's Choppers | Chevy | 2 | 6 | 12 | 22 | 44 | -22 | 12 |
BBS Notionless League Division 2 Table
| Position | Team | Manager | Won | Dwn | Lst | G/F | G/A | G/Dif | Points |
| 1 | FC Jumpers for Goal Posts | Tom | 12 | 6 | 2 | 48 | 17 | 31 | 42 |
| 2 | Shilbottle WMC | Gus | 12 | 5 | 3 | 38 | 23 | 15 | 41 |
| 3 | Preston Big End | clarky | 11 | 3 | 6 | 41 | 30 | 11 | 36 |
| 4 | The Entertainers | Kevin Keegan | 9 | 5 | 6 | 57 | 35 | 22 | 32 |
| 5 | Toon Gutter Snipes | Tre | 9 | 4 | 7 | 36 | 35 | 1 | 31 |
| 6 | Real Seghill | Juano | 8 | 6 | 6 | 44 | 26 | 18 | 30 |
| 7 | Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles | Josh | 9 | 3 | 8 | 39 | 45 | -6 | 30 |
| 8 | SS Enterprise | Elliot | 8 | 5 | 7 | 37 | 29 | 8 | 29 |
| 9 | FC Forget-Me-Nots | Robby Bobson | 9 | 2 | 9 | 29 | 36 | -7 | 29 |
| 10 | Douglas All Boys (B) Team | Gibbo | 7 | 5 | 8 | 41 | 50 | -9 | 26 |
| 11 | Superstitious FC | Gav | 6 | 7 | 7 | 48 | 53 | -5 | 25 |
| 12 | Bewildered De Builders | De Builder | 6 | 5 | 9 | 41 | 45 | -4 | 23 |
| 13 | Gallowgateaserai | Pit Bill | 6 | 4 | 10 | 26 | 32 | -6 | 22 |
| 14 | Doomed United | Dougal | 6 | 3 | 11 | 25 | 34 | -9 | 21 |
| 15 | Sexy Boys | Ruud Gullit | 5 | 2 | 13 | 25 | 48 | -23 | 17 |
| 16 | Ceptic | TSM | 4 | 1 | 15 | 13 | 60 | -47 | 13 |
Fixtures: Match 21
BBS Premier Corinthian League
| Athletico Backworth | Vs | Wallsend Old Boys |
| Barton's Samba | Vs | Woodstock County |
| Beardo United | Vs | Yelli's Yobs |
| Borussia Canwehaveourballbach | Vs | MinesaS&N Academicals |
| Brewery Droopers United | Vs | Pilgrim's Converts |
| Dabizas Pleazas | Vs | Proper Lard Unathletic |
| Duncan's Disorderlies | Vs | Steph's Superstars |
| MacBeth's Marauders | Vs | Toon Goons |
BBS Notionless League Division 1
| Baxter Basics | Vs | Spayne |
| Blaydon Racers | Vs | The Gallowgate |
| Carlisle United Revisited | Vs | The Stellar Warriors |
| Chevy's Choppers | Vs | Jessie's High Pants |
| Corinthian Smart-Casuals | Vs | Pete's Porkie Pies |
| Dudley Boys | Vs | Quantum Mechanicals |
| Howdon Harriers | Vs | Real Zaragossy |
| ITK Heaton World Beaters | Vs | Screacher's Creatures |
BBS Notionless League Division 2
| Bewildered De Builders | Vs | The Entertainers |
| Ceptic | Vs | Toon Gutter Snipes |
| Doomed United | Vs | Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles |
| Douglas All Boys (B) Team | Vs | Real Seghill |
| FC Forget-Me-Nots | Vs | Sexy Boys |
| FC Jumpers for Goal Posts | Vs | Shilbottle WMC |
| Gallowgateaserai | Vs | SS Enterprise |
| Preston Big End | Vs | Superstitious FC |
-- Anonymous, July 31, 2000