Songs You Made As A Kid Out Of Other Kids' Names

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As a kid, did you make songs out of other kids' names? I think the classic example is the song Mark Bradley made out of Craig Ahles's [Ah-less] name: Craig-o
The Eggo
He's got no brain-o
He lives in San Diego
Even if I played the trombone for five years, music was never a talent of mine. In high school, I made a song out of Brian Hodowitz's name from Sting's Englishman in New York: He's a Brian
He's a legal Brian
He's a Hondowitz in New York
Did anyone else out there participate in this kind of activity?

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

Answers

Response to Songs You Made As A Kid Out Of Other Kids' Names

Unfortunately, yes, I did. 6th grade, there was a red-headed kid in my class. He was very freckled and had a tendency to go red in the face (with anger, probably, considering how bratty 11-year-old girls can be), and a friend and I created this little ditty, sung to the tune of Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer:

(victim's name changed, but not our teacher, Mr Vestal's)

Paul Kent the red-faced freakout
had a very shiny face (like a lightbulb)
And if you ever saw it
you would even say it glows (like a lightbulb)
All of the other students
used to laugh and call him names (like dumbbell)
They never let poor Paul Kent
join in any normal games (like kickball)
Then one foggy schoo-ool day, Mr Vestal came to say,
"Paul Kent with your face so bright,
won't you teach the class tonight?"
Then all the normals cheered (hooray!)
as they shouted out with glee (yip-pee!),
"Paul Kent the red-faced freakout,
you'll go down in history!" (like Lincoln)

Not sure which is sadder-- the lyrics, or the fact that I remember them, 22 years later.

-- Anonymous, July 29, 2000


Response to Songs You Made As A Kid Out Of Other Kids' Names

Ah, em, I have a favorite, but I was about 18 when I made it up so I can't claim vicious-kid hatefulness. This is VERY un-PC, and sung to the "Oscar Meyer Weiner" tune.

Oh, I'm glad I'm not a sawed-off motherf*cker, I'd rather be a cripple, blind or deaf. 'Cause if I were a sawed-off motherf*cker, Everyone would think that I was Jeff.

-- Anonymous, July 30, 2000


Response to Songs You Made As A Kid Out Of Other Kids' Names

Paul composed these about his best friend just recently.

What do you do with a big fat Louis?
What do you do with a big fat Louis?
What do you do with a big fat Louis
Early in the morning?
Tie him to me penis until he's sober
Tie him to my...

Okay, you get the idea. He also wrote (sung to tune of Aqualung):

Sitting on his fat butt
Eating from his bag of M&Ms
Oh, AquaLouis...
Jerky stuck between his teeth
Spitting out green loogies from his worn-out lungs..

Now I feel sick.

-- Anonymous, July 30, 2000


Response to Songs You Made As A Kid Out Of Other Kids' Names

Rebekah Ann, Frying Pan, Throw her in the Garbage Can.

I think it's okay if it's about your little sister.

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2000


Response to Songs You Made As A Kid Out Of Other Kids' Names

My brother and I tortured each other mercilessly with special songs....

I was "Dawn Dawn Wonnapon/went to school with nothing on/asked her teacher what to wear/polka-dotted underwear!"

My brother got "Paully-wog/is a dog/and a frog/on a log!"

There were numerous variations, but those're the ones that lasted. To this day, we'll ocassionally call each other Dawn Dawn Wonnapon or Paully-wog....

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2000



Response to Songs You Made As A Kid Out Of Other Kids' Names

My name can spell out the Mickey Mouse song, as can my nephew's. If you have a six syllable first name and a five syllable last name you too can do it. How I discovered this, I have *no* idea, but I must have been bored.

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2000

Response to Songs You Made As A Kid Out Of Other Kids' Names

You can also sing the Mickey Mouse song and spell out "P-R-O-M-I-S-C-U-I-T-Y". My high school sociology teacher taught me that.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Response to Songs You Made As A Kid Out Of Other Kids' Names

Coincidence? I *hope* so!

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Response to Songs You Made As A Kid Out Of Other Kids' Names

Oh, come on, everyone knows those Mouseketeers were all total whores.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Response to Songs You Made As A Kid Out Of Other Kids' Names

I went to school with a girl we used to tease about being Mormon. It wasn't her Mormon-ness but her inability to laugh off any kind of teasing that led her her being singled out with little songs...still though, I feel guilty. (Sung to the tune of "The Mickey Mouse Club") M-O-R! M-O-N! M-O-U-S-E! Mormon Mouse, Mormon Mouse.... (repeat ad nauseum)

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2000


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