In order to save humanity, you must pick a person to die. Who will you pick? Why?

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

Answers

I'd have to pick me because I don't know that I could ever justify making that kind of decision for someone else... but I have to say my second choice and first thought was Jesse Helms. (c'mon, dude, give it up already and die).

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

I would choose George Dubya Bush Jr. Because if he becomes president, he will probably drag the U.S. into the ground just like he did all his oil companies.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

I knew a guy at summer camp who loved, loved, loved Jesse Helms. (The camp was in NC- we had two counselors who considered him a family friend and called him Uncle Jesse, which I guess can be let fly- I mean, they'd known him since infancy.) I kept asking for 3 good reasons. He came up with 2: JH was good for the textile industry, and he (his words, not mine) hates faggots. It was quite appalling.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

I think the city I live in now would be a lot better off without the good Reverend Falwell...

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

I know this sounds horrible, but I would pick the last guy I dated.

He's an evil, messed-up dickass and he knows it, but he won't do anything about it. He brings nothing good to the universe. He yells "Get a job!" at homeless people. Most people seem to regret ever meeting him. He sucks, sucks, sucks. I hope he spontaneously combusts. But that's just me.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

My sister's recently-ex boyfriend. He's a crackhead,drunken, physically abusive loser who sucks the life out of people. Hey, how 'bout we kill him now, just in case humanity needs saving someday? I'm game.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

David Cone, because he sucks these days. Okay, maybe the Yanks could just trade him. Really, though, Louie Anderson contributes nothing to my world. I elect him to go to gas chamber.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

Let's face it, the world would be a better place if we got rid of David Hassellhoff.

Kidding! Sorta...

Seriously though, this question is easy to answer. There are plenty of sickos taking up space in prison...

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

I'm tempted to nominate the serial killer who, for reasons unknown, let my exboyfriend and his best friend go. They were the only known survivors, though they were abused beforehand. I'd nominate him not because of that, as obviously that was actually a good thing that he let them go, but because of the horrific things he did to them and to all the other children who weren't as lucky and because my ex had seriously painful Issues afterwards, understandably enough.

I'd also be tempted to nominate people who are beyond redemption and reassimiliation into society (i.e., if there were a real Hannibal Lechter). My roommate is a staunch Catholic who, perhaps not coincidentally, has never had anything too terrible ever happen toher or anyone she cares about, and she firmly believes that no one is beyond redemption. I do not agree with her, and think that if she had more negative experiences or knew of some people who had Evil Things happen to them that she'd be less black and white about it...but I respect her POV and I wish I could share it.

There's a real danger in contemplating the casual ecxtermination of another human being, even in jest. IMHO. I think pondering it and debating it makes it more and more palatable and conceivable...much like viewing simulated violence deadens you to the horror of it (though I don't believe violence in TV etc. is the biggest problem, I think it's a lack of at- home parental guidance about morals and values) but I'd hate to avoid analyzing how I felt about it just out of a superstitious fear that it was eroding my valus and morals just to discuss it. If that makes sense.

There's a Dean Koontz (don't laugh!) short story about the slippery slope of this kind of thinking, where you get the opportunity to dispatch a truly evil and unredeemanble human being, and then are surprised to find that you are able to live with yourself afterwards...which makes it all the easier, as time goes by, to contemplate dispatching less evil people until you end up having done away with everyone who puts your nose out of joint save merely annoying people you simply don't get along with...but you're thinking about it.

The same week I read this short story (essentially he asks what would happen if you had a basement that went all the way to Hel---or The Ultimate Evil, whichever you believe in--in which, when you put someone in there, Evil would come and eradicate them for you without a trace), I read "The Chamber" by John Grisham (I hear you laughing! I'm not normally this low brow!) which is about the death penalty and all the politics and pros and cons involved. (I believe that he is against it, based on the story, but a good writer often lets you draw your own conclusions and, if desired, project your opinion as being the same as hers or his.)

I don't know that I could actually go through with removing ANYONE permanently and live with myself. But I can see being tempted enough and angry enough to seriously consider it. As it is all hypothetical anyway, I should be able to roll with it and be casual about the answer and nominate someone whole-heartedly, but I can't.

I'm going to go ahead and sent this to the forum despite the fact that I'm hurrying to go home and that I'm tired. Hopefully it will make sense.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

Gads, Milla!

For me, it'd be a toss-up between some major right-wing anti-gay anti- women anti-semetic anti-abortion pro-Nazi type of activist/political person... or my cousin, Poor Little Johnny, who molested me and who knows who else and steals from my grandmother to buy drugs and is just basically a waste of human life... or my cousin's husband Steve- O, the Baby Making Asshole From Hell, whom she continues to have an on-off relationship with to the detriment of her own children.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

Kathie Lee Gifford.

Didn't even have to think twice...

-- Anonymous, July 29, 2000

Wasn't this a forum in the New Testament? I vote for the guy whose sacrifice will wash away my original sin.

-- Anonymous, July 29, 2000

thanks for the laugh, Mike!

Gwen, I think that humanity is beyond saving. I'm not even sure we're worth it, collectively. I truly believe that there's no going back: there are just too damn many of us and we have done irreparable damage to our world. It may take a few hundred years but we are so out of here.

-- Anonymous, July 29, 2000

Jill, I agree. And I agree with Gardanna -- it's not right to kill someone else and I really should pick myself.

However, the whole question was designed to give me an opportunity to vent. I was gonna pick some evil jerk from my youth. Now, though, I'll just say David Duke. What the hell.

-- Anonymous, July 29, 2000

I was going to say "me" anyway, when this thread first showed up, but figured I'd either piss people off who thought I was having a pity party, or worry those who think I'm suicidal.

and Jill, right on. I agree with you completely.

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2000

I'd off whoever killed Mia Zapata.

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2000

Well, in all fairness, Gwen said "you must pick a person to die", not "you must pick a person to murder". So, I'm thinking everyone dies eventually and I'm just being asked to pick someone to do that sooner rather than later...ya know, natural causes or Act of God or something. So how about Saddam Hussein? (sp?) Or better yet, the creator(s) of these stupid game shows including "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire" and "Who Wants to Marry A Millionaire" and even (don't hurt me!) "Survivor" and "Big Brother".

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2000

Jill, I completely disagree.

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2000

If it isn't murder but fingering the next one to go, then that's easy. Just finger the random unfortunate(s) scheduled to have an accident in the next thirty seconds. If they were gonna go anyway, I'm sure that it wouldn't make much of a diff.

(A few years ago I'd have said George Burns, as he seemed immortal--or at least sturdy enough to withstand being labelled Ready To Go At Any Minute for eons.)

-- Anonymous, August 01, 2000

I'm sticking by my choice. There are plenty of people I can't stand, but I chose my candidate because I feel humanity would truly be better off without him. And if this means he'd be remembered as a martyr instead of a shithead, well, good for him.

-- Anonymous, August 01, 2000

Wow, tough being a Major League pitcher. David Cone has a zillion good years in a row, helps the Yankees to a couple of World Series wins, has one crappy year and now Erika wants him dead?!

I'm actually an Oriole fan. so I wouldn't cry very hard if it were a Yankee who I wound up picking (although it probably wouldn't be Cone). But I'd probably play it safe with the old conscience, and pick the oldest unrepentant serial killer I could find.

-- Anonymous, August 01, 2000

Celine Dion. It's a good choice from every point of view, moral, social, fiscal. If she were gone gang warfare would evaporate, violent,surly teenagers would become caring offspring and attentive students, corporate execs would funnel their huge salaries and golden umbrellas toward eradicating hunger and disease. International boundries would disappear, standing armies would be dissolved and ethnic terrorists of all colors would stand side by side in brotherhood. There would be a dizzying sense of optimism for the future on a global scale. People would simply wake up feeling better, calmer, and find all desire for addictive substances gone.

Hopefully, you now all realize that Celine Dion is the anti-Christ and much be removed before she causes our ultimate destruction.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Aaron Spelling. I think we all know why.

-- Anonymous, September 11, 2000

Brittany Spears and the guys from NSYNC. There. I said it. Long live rock and roll! James

-- Anonymous, September 11, 2000

A former boss ... when talking to me, he would pick up MY keys and dig around in his ears!!

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

Chipper Jones, Kurt Russell, maybe Ben Stiller or Celine.

YEAH......CELINE.....

Can we cook her afterward?

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

What is there to cook? Bones and teeth?

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

**dies laughing*** Well, it would add some crunch, anyway...

-- Anonymous, March 21, 2001