Evening all or is it afternoon ? To be honest i dont know whether ive been coming or going the last four days , but ive had a hell of a time .. probably one of the best breaks ive ever had - action packed and plenty incident , nae surprises there then ! Dont know where bto start really , from the beginning mebys is a good idea ................ Gatwick thursday afternoon , the blagging started by trying to get an up grade at first class on the continental flight , lady at the check in told me ' to be honest you need a collar and trousers ' .. i insited me trousers were real ! Me shirt was white with a small NUFC 1892 emblom and it had a collar . So ' Shhuuure ' she said , number 3 on the list sir . So i walked away thinking job well done , these hostesses are all full of shite man . Trotted up to Gatwick village looking for a sports shop , trying to get one of last seasons home tops on the cheap ( gotta try these things eh ? ) , and what do i come to , a bliddy Newton heath merchandise shop . Couldnt pass the opportunity up for a bit of humour , so in i trots and asks the lad behind the counter ' Do yer sell toon tops marra ?' ' yer what maaayte' ... ' Newcastle tops man , Newcastle tops , have yer got any ' .... ' Nahh sorry dont sell those ' , ' ah really theres a surprise ' .. he didnt get it at all , or mebbes im just a sarcy get i dont know :- )) Well i finds a proper sports shop , and there it is all in its glory .. the new away kit and i couldnt resist . Even the lass behind the counter who was an Arsenal fan said she liked it and she had a sense of humour , another job well done . So im walking around like the cat thats got the cream : - )) Trot into the boozer , couple of swift ones , and i think if i remember rightly thats when the wheels started to come off : - )) . Got to thye gate and asked for aforementioned upgrade , to which the battle axe behind the counter replied ' we dont upgrade on these flights sir ' ... bollox ! Well as me mam said ' shy bairns get nowt ' or in this case , polite questioning bairns get nowt either - so its sardine class for me . Sits down , and who sits next to me , the only two piss heads on the plane , anyone else ever feel they attract nutters . Two scotsmen who were skippers in the tall ships rave leaving from halifax that weekend , and could they drink ! So i joins them for a few bevvies , double gin a nd tonics with drambuie chasers , and after a couple of hours we were getting louder and louder . Ex navy they were , so you can imagine the banter , one Glaswegian and one Yorkie cum Scot , after 4 hours we had the sea maps of the atlantic out , and thats when the hostesses had had enough , nae more drink for us ... until i skulked up to first class and got a double order for us all , much to the bemusement of the economy class girls .. ' where d y 'a ll get those drinks ' , ' from yer colleagues pet , thank you ' . The dyke hostess was particularly unamused and proceede to watch us like hawks , but as you all know , nae bother caused ! Arrived New York Newark on time , and i had 2.5 hrs to get to laguardia at peak hour time 5.30pm local time , through manhattan , when i gets out all i see is a mile long taxi queue , so blagged a dodgy looking nigerian cab , nowt new there .. 60 bucks for the pleasure mind , and what a mistake it turnesd out to be . Going through the Holland tunnel two young girls try to cut us up , and BANG , we have a crash ... i couldnt bliddy believe it ... coppers out , screaming Americans , torrents of abuse , and poor me pissed in the front seat . me own fault i suppose , so i gets out and the two lasses are like ... ' Oh youre english ' i told them the predicament that i had 45 mins to get to laguardia ... so they phoned forward to |Delta airlines , and i left a message for Caroline , who was waiting for me ..... well to cut it short i arrived at Laguardia at 8.15 , due to take off for Washington 8.30 .... pushed to the front of the queue , sprinted through the airport and onto the shuttle at 8.25pm .... wor lass non too impressed or by the smell of booze , but she joined for a couple of Bud lights on the plane and we were set . Off the plane and to the hotle in 10 mins .. put the bags doon , slipped on the new top , jumped a cab , and we're off to the Rock to See the Toon Army USA , Ciara , Screachers cousin whos got a canny belly on him , and the hairline , well its getting there : - )) arrive Rock 10.15 , and the B**tard at the door wouldnt let us in cos we had no idea , i was flattered but going potty , and only wor lass averted a catastrophic start to US part of the trip , and off back to the Hotel tpo picjk up the passports .. back at the Rock at 11.00 , and in we walk , not before id berated the stupid get for unneeded stupidity , but hey ' god bless America ' . I suppose if youre in the presidents cuty you expect legislation to be a tad tight : - ) Well as we walk in theres Ciara with the camera , a picture of me and wor lass , id like to see the look on me face ... jet lagged drunk and non too pleased , but the spirits buoyed by a scene of Toon ... veryy very surreal ... Geordies here , geordies there , but no response from the masses soi shut up .... several pints of guiness ,a nd \met mark the lad who runs a very tight ship for Toon Army USa and a nice lad too ... stayed there til 1.30 ish when they closed , and talked to some graet lads , good sing song , and some Leeds get tries to chat up wor lass ... good banter mind . So we leaves the rock and off to a Club called Nation ... by this time id been on the drink foir near on 24 hours and was beginning to fade , left the club after ending upo in the middle of a load of locals breakdancing in a circle , i kid you not .. wor lass thot i was baout to try me arm , so off we went : - )) Back home and stageer all ove r the hotel before finding the room .. im sure it wasnt in th same polace as when i arrived and off to sleep .... which is where im gannin now as the lag sets in ... zzzzzzzz day 2 to come : -)) Good night y'all . % - )

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

Answers

Interesting start to you holliers Sting!!! How`s you head?!!!(:o)

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Nice thread title Quentin.....

Sounds like fun.....I think I shoulda been there to keep you in check.....I knew you'd get silly without me to keep an eye on you....

WTF were you doing in a silly breakdancing club man!! all the clubs in America that you could go to and you end up in one of those ;))

Ciao...

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Had two hours kip , got the redy eye plying meself with caffeine , it was amazing , getting me piccies developed early on , me n Berb , me n Al , me n Hughsie , Yin and LKD . Ill give more installments as i get the time ... FYG the breakdancing club wasnt a breakdancing club .. it had four floors and loadsa different sounds , but one area had a few breakers in it , so i went for a look and nearly got involved .. i was flying after 24 hours of booze , if youd told us to climb everest i wouldve done . Gav im glad you werent the otherwise we wudve been in bother , i assure you : - )))

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Sounds like your having fun mate....Keep it up :))

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Why is it when you get tired all thought of punctuation and paragraphs goes out the window? (:o)

Have a great time mate.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

As ever, the consumate (?) artist, Sting. Keep it up. And less aboot the hairline, OK? At least I kept mine into my 40s - which is more than can be said for wor kid.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000