I have a mate who is putting together a book on people's phobias. He knows someone, for instance, who has a phobia to buttons. Specifically 'unattached buttons' (i.e. those not sewed down) of the traditional round with four holes variety...

He also has some info re this man who has a phobia to 'big leaves'. Apparently, he was terrified to go out of the house and would never leave the town.

Anyone else got or know someone with any phobias I could send in his direction?

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

Answers

It's only fair that I start. This is my phobia, which he is going to include:

Less amusing, but more terrifying (for me anyway) is my own fear of rats. It started when I was four and I was walking around our farm in Northumberland with my Dad. He saw this rat scurrying along one of the beams in the granary and bashed his stick behind it to frighten it off. Unfortunately his stick must have landed on the rat's tail and instead of running away, it ended up running in a sort of semi- circle and off the beam and straight on to my head. I panicked, as did my father who then tried to brush it off. This only succeeded in knocking the bloody thing into my shirt, which was unfortunately tucked into my trousers. More screams etc...until my father literally ripped off my shirt and the rat ran away. I've never liked them since.

Don't like mice either as they are 'little rats'

Don't like cats either as they bring 'little rats' into the house etc

I could go on. A few years after the 'attack' my whole family were driving through the countryside and we saw these two police cars with sirens on driving very slowly ahead of us. when we got there, we discovered that in between these two cars were hundreds (nay thousands) of rats. Big ones, small ones, fat ones, black ones, brown ones etc...literally running down the road. It seems that the pied piper story is based on some sort of truth as rats tend to move en masse from one farm to another when they have eaten through supplies etc and we saw them on the move. I don't know what happened next - I'd like to think some sort of steamroller was on the way - but it didn't help my phobia, I can tell you. For years after that I wouldn't get into that car without checking under each tyre rim etc etc. As for that film 'Truly Madly Deeply' when there is a rat on the bed,,,I don't even want to go there.

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

For me, it's that bit at the top of a flight of stairs. You know, the bit that would be the turn up to another flight. Only when you're at the top, there it is, just hanging, not doing anything, just being dead space.

It's not really vertigo, it's just something in my head tells me I'll fall off if I go near it.

It makes me want to lie down just thinking about it.

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

Duncan

That is a fantastic phobia. You couldn't make that up if you tried.

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

Beardo

The topic of phobias often comes up at the pub, and not so long ago I was having this very converstaion over a few beers. Whilst explaining this to the giggling, basic arachnophobes, one of the guys was looking at me very intently. When things had quietened down, he told me he had the self-same phobia and that he'd never told anyone coz he thought he was mad.

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

Beardo, Looks like we are in the same boat. I just panic when I see a rat or mice or whatever you call them. I guess mine started when my dad brought me to see the movie 'Food for the Gods', remember that one where rats just grew into giants going around eating humans. Anyway, it made a real big impression on a six year old mind and ever since then been a coward when I see them running around. Did managed to catch one a few years ago on a glue trap. Killed the damn thing after putting it through a sadistic torture, my heart going like a F-1 through the whole time fearing that it would some how escape and come after me.

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

Spiders. Cockroaches. Moths. Stairs (fell doon escalator (age 3) in the M&S on Northumberland St and have been paranoid about stairs and escalators ever since). Dirty tops on tomato ketchup bottles. London Underground during rush hour. Heights. Alan Shearer being awarded and missing a penalty at Old Trafford. Losing to the Makems.

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

Having my face in water. I was pushed in the deep end of Wallsend Baths when I was about seven years old. I can remember it very clearly, the temperature of the water, the chlorine smell, the dulling of sound as I kept sinking below the water. It makes me shudder just thinking about it. I can`t even stand in the shower and put my face in the flow of water!

Hair clippings! I think it`s from watching The World at War and seeing the piles of hair shaved from the inmates of the death camps. I hate it when I am in the hairdressers and they start sweeping the floor.

Dead things. I have an irrational fear of things that are dead. I can rescue birds, mice etc., from my cats, as long as they are still breathing, but can`t move a dead mouse off the patio!

Ticks. I have dealt with all sorts of pet emergencies, including driving one handed down to my vets, whilst trying to staunch the flow of blood for my cat`s torn juglar (which was actually spraying the windscreen of my car!), but I could not remove a tick from an animal if my life depended on it!(:o)

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

Spider, Snakes and now flights on Concorde......

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

Gav - have you turned into a workaholic?(:o)

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

Axle grinders. Bloody things! The noise, the smell of the blades wearing down, everything.

My first week on site someone used a steel blade on a reinforced concrete lintel thinking that steel is harder than stone. Actually, stone blades vibrate more to cut a wider channel between pieces of ballast in concrete while the steel blades are for precision cutting (know your enemy!). The inevitable happened, and the blade caught between pieces of ballast withinn the lintel and the several thousand rpm being applied simply meant that the blade sheared off the axle leaving a disc of pressed steel mesh and asbestos with a ridiculous amount of kinetic energy coursing through it.

Zing! Off it flew against a fence before flying straight back at Andy and neatly rolling up his boot and on up his shin laying the flesh apart as neatly as slicing cloth. You don't normally cut cloth with a filthy blade like that however... Got him an ambulance and made all the usual bad jokes fellas do in dangerous jobs as it's much easier than being sensible.

Of course, I've had to use the things dozens of times since on patios, rsj's, tiles, repointing walls etc. Every time I would stand absolutely rigid with teeth clenched hard enough to break, my face chalk white with pure terror as that awful whine would start up and the dreadful vibration of the machine in my hands. Every second I could feel the excruciating pain of the blade cutting through my body. I've never had a blade shear off but I've twice had them shatter sending bits showering over me and each time I've been almost completely unmanned by it. Truly f*cking awful they are. A government health inspector was asked how you would go about making an axle- grinder safe and said that you would need to completely enclose the blade....says it all really. Urgh!

Other than that, I cured my fear of the dark by crawling through a 200 foot storm drain (although I developed a serious dislike for large spiders in the process!) and I can't deal with gardening sequiters, as every time I hold a pair of them I get that feeling like I have only just managed to stop myself from snipping all my fingers off. So you can just count me out when it comes to pruning the roses, ok?

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

A sort of claustrophobia. I hate the sense of not being able to have fresh air around my face.

Once went to a castle that was having a medieval show and a realistic helmet was passed around. I put it ove rmy head and nearly passed out. Clearly this doesn't happen very often but has manifested itself in a similar way. If I can't get a jumper or a t-shirt over my head I feel panic setting in. The worst things I have are my two Newcastle training tops which have stitched bottoms. When you try and pull this off you it sticks at about chest height, which means half the thing is over my head. I can be dripping in sweat by the time I get the thing off.

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

No wonder you aren't keen on the Strawberry!

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

Anything that flaps! I think it started from when I was young and we had a pet budgie - we used to let it out around the house to spread its wings so to speak and it had a rather unfortunate habit of 'dive bombing' anything in its path. Mum often came in to find me cowering in foetal position on the floor with the budgie swooping around my head, obviously sensing my sheer terror and amusing itself by tormenting me! Bastard bird!

Ever since then I am completely unable to cope with birds, butterflys, bats, daddy-long-legs - and moths in particular. The noise of a moth flapping around in my bedroom at night is enough to send me into spasms of panic, white hot fear coursing through my trembling body. It's like the sounds are amplified ten fold, like in a cinema and I can just picture the revolting creatures getting tangled in my hair and my not being able to remove them!

Many a time have I run screaming into my parents bedroom, begging one of them to rid my room of the offending moth - and if I have no joy from them (they don't always take kindly to being woken in the middle of the night for such trivial reasons) I will just sleep in the spare room for the duration of the night. I am well aware (as my totally unsympathetic father keeps asking me) that they are not 'blood- sucking demons with large pointy teeth' but that just doesn't help me! I am completely and utterly terrified of them!!!

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

As for MacBeth - claustrophobia - recently visited on me during an NMR scan on my 'frozen' shoulder. You're slid on a bed right into a long steel tube barely as wide as your shoulders, such that the top is about 2 inches from your nose. It's bloody noisy and you're in for about 15-20 minutes - I was scared sh*tless; eyes tight shut thinking about wild horses galloping around an open field. Oh yes, and nymphomaniacs - unrequited I might add, but a morbid fear of utter inadequacy (eventually!!) but of not being allowed to just give up and go to sleep. I'm trying to convince my wife that 'immersion' therapy is the ONLY cure for this very, very serious phsychological condition that may otherwise render me severely traumatised! Any support would be deeply appreciated.

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

I seem to be (luckily) pretty phobia free, but I've been collecting the names of phobias for a while.

Some of my favourites are:

Keraunothnetophobia - Fear of falling man-made satellites Hyalinopygophobia - Fear of glass bottoms (!!!!!) Siderodromophobia - Fear of travelling by train - presumably from the side-rods on the engine!

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

What a wonderful thread. At first I thought we had signed a Greek midfielder. Then I realised it was about all you sickos and mental patients who write on here. Us normal folk are not phobic about anything unless you count things like when you are in the shower and it is hot and steamy, (relax Gav) and when you are drying yourself off, when it comes to putting the towel over your head/hair and you cannot start coughing until you end up dry wretching and gasping for air. That doesn't count does it?

Or when you want to pull everyone back from the edge of somewhere high I am a little afraid of heights, not the full blown vertigo etc, its just that I have the urge to pull people back from cliff edges and dam walls etc for their own good. I get really terified for them. My daughter makes me turn around so I cannot see her looking over the side of tall buildings etc.

But its the same for everyone isn't it?

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

This one's for Galaxy

Japan has millions of cockroaches. It's the perfect climate for them so no matter how clean you keep your place they will still come back. Basically they can live for 90 days without food or water and if you have two of them in your house well, when one of them dies, the other one will eat it so it'll survive another 90 days. So as you can tell, they're impossible to get rid of. I think they're the only 'creepie crawlies' that I really hate.

Anyway, my girlfriend works in a cafe and so as you can imagine they have a problem with cockroaches. One morning she came to work and saw a large one scuttling across the floor. She tried to kill it but she later admitted it was only a half hearted attempt as he doesn't like to go anywhere near them.

Later that same evening she was clening up and she felt something hit her cheek, so naturally she brushed it off, and there, lying on the floor was a rathe large cockroach. She still shivers everytime she thinks about it. What I forgot to say is that in Japan, the cockroaches fly and this one just flew into her face. Now imagine if she'd had her mouth open......

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2000

Oh thanks Kegsy! My flesh is crawling as I type! (:o)

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Thanks for these. I'll pass them on to my mate and see if he can use them. Gus - I share your phobia of cliffs. As you say, its not so much the heights, but the bloody idiots who walk to near to the edge. I know I'm not too stupid to go to close, but are they? I can't be doing with dead mice in the house either. I don't mind creosoting the fence and other so-called manly things, but dead mice is Mrs Beardo's department.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Houseflies. A house full of spiders and/or cockroaches wouldn't bother me one bit, but houseflies, a completely different story.

I once piled up a brand new car trying to kill one buzzing round the windscreen. Not a serious pileup, just a broken headlight, but the garage guy gave me some funny looks when I went back.

They are the vilest creatures known to man. And the thought of having strands of wool dragged through my teeth. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrg.

Yet dental floss is no problem. Weird.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Beardo, lucky you don't live in New York City, I read somewhere (only last week) that there're 6 rats for every one human!

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

I read 9 rats for every human and they've also got this dodgy mosquitos....

No wonder Sting sounds funny this morning...

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Using anything new until wor lass has had a chance to test operate it, ie dishwasher, cooker, washing machine, they all get a 1 year bedding in period from the Buff. (crafty eh)

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

There is some weird statistic about in London you are never more than 6 feet away from a rat at any one time. Seems unlikely...but I exist on a 'what you can't see, you don't have to worry about' kind of basis.

I am no better with hamsters actually as they are basically posh rats. I was staying with my best mate a few months ago and his 7-year- old step son had a hamster and he had it out the cage and was trying to get me to hold it. Sweat pouring off my face, slowly moving backwards, not really sure when to cutr the crap about me being grown up and manly and either legging it like mad to the end of the garden or telling the kid to just fuck off and leave me the hell alone.

It was a no win situation

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Dentists - the sound of a drill as you wait.
I fainted once as I sat down in the chair.
Please god, keep my teeth going.
I have watched the Bill Murray and Steve Martin scene with total incredulity - no human being can like this torture.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

As a follow up to my earlier tale.

I went to the toilet at work this evening and, unzipped and ..... suddenly saw this thing move up the wall. It was a rather large (about 6cm) cockroach. So I quickly unlocked the door , bolted out of the toilet, only to see the outer door open. Thankfully, I'd only got 'halfway' if you see what I mean, and I was able to zip up very quickly. No damage done except to the cockroach, who had more poison sprayed on him than a thing that's had a lot of poison sprayed on!


-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Hope you don't get a transference deal and end up with a phobia about uncovering your little fireman :-D

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Hope you don't get a transference deal and end up with a phobia about uncovering your little fireman :-D

People tend to frown on it when they find you spraying Doom on your John Thomas and jump to all kinds of conclusions...

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Imagine that, having a phobis about getting JT out>> I shudder to think. Having said that we all had a phobia about getting JDT out :)))

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2000

Actually Kegsy, my elder brother's not a million miles from that - courtesy of the time he was at our primary school and the old JT became snagged in the teeth of his flies. Very embarassing for the lad, walking through the schoolyard waving the crown jewels at your schoolmates en route for Accident & Emergency. A lifetime's hilarity for your brother though, as I'm sure you can appreciate :O))

Very amusing thread this - "falling satellites"; "cliffs" (though I've met Cliff and he seemed a canny bloke. Not at all scary); "anything that flaps" (we won't go there Yelli if you don't mind); hamsters being nowt but "posh rats" !!

I can definitely relate to the quote about never being more than 6 foot away from a rat in London. Considerably less than 6 foot in East London I'd say, at least in the vicinity of Hackney Wick - When I was working at the Fray Bentos factory there, I knew there was a heap of the little varmints in the area as we were located next to river banks. But one time I looked up to see a particularly fine specimen perched on the corner of my desk. Just staring at me it was. You'll never believe how lame I am but all I could think to do was say "shoo"! Just as well I don't have a fear of anything (except a fear of phobias of course).

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

The Fray Bentos pies are being thrown out this evening.

What is it about Hackney and rats. If a rat is really terrifying (as opposed to just terrifying, you understand), they are always referred to as 'Hackney Sewer Rats' as if that explains it all.

Since being in London, I've always lived south of the river

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

Yelli

Strange coincidence this, but there was some programme in BBC 1 last night about phobias and there was a woman on it who had a phobia about anything that 'flapped.' Apparently, she deserted her 3-year- old child on a beach once when a seagull came too close.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

Best not to watch Shay Given on crosses...

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

Don't toss the Fray Bennies Beardo !! We sold off the brand to Campbells in 93 - they moved production to Spalding - and closed the factory down. Presumably before before we were closed down by the inspectors. It's probably still there though, as it had a nice art deco facade to it. The building that is, not the rat.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

It would be typical of those crafty Hackney Sewer Rats to try and lull me into a false sense of security by daubing themselves with a nice art deco facade.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

Horses. They terrify me. Beautiful creatures of course, highly sensitive too. They can smell your fear making them nervous and agitated, i go out of my way to avoid them. i later learnt my great-grandfather worked as a stable boy before one kicked him in the head killing him instantly. perhaps the fear is inherited.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

Reputed to be very intelligent indeed are rats Beardo. Though I don't see many in our university. Not that that means much mind. We see very few elephants either, though everyone knows thay come top of the animal class. Especially if they are allowed to tie knots in their trunks as an aide-memoire. But I digress. Rats. Don't mind 'em myself. Though I couldn't eat a whole one. But I could manage a complete bar of Dairy Milk. Mmmmmm. Oh, there's Nanny calling. Time for my bath and then bed. Nighty night.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

Really bad nightmares lead to me eating rats...which in turn leads me to thinking about Kentucky Frid Chicken.

I saw a rat run across the floor (between the tables) of my favourite Chinese restaurant in China Town. Off-putting to say the least. I left immediately....followed by about 3 other tables

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000