The Ultimate Doomer Speech

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Son, we live in a world that has COMPUTERS, and those COMPUTERS have to be WATCHED by men with GOLD. Who's gonna do it? You? You, CEE-PEE-RRRR?

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for THOSE WHO BOUGHT MY BS and you curse the DOOMERS. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that those PURCHASED BOOKS, while tragic, saved ME FROM ACTUALLY EARNING A LIVING. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, KEPT GARY NORTH IN BUSINESS.

DOOMERS NEVER wanted the truth because, deep down in places THEY don't talk about at parties, THEY wanted TEOTWAWKI, they needed TEOTWAWKI!

We use words like BEANS, GENERATORS, BOMBSHELTERS. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent WAITING FOR THE END. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of AVERTED DOOM that I PROVIDED. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a CANOPENER and grab some TUNA. Either way, I don't give a damn whether you were RIGHT or NOT!

(Given somewhere at some point, I'm sure)

-- Long Time No See (Guess_Who@here.com), July 24, 2000

Answers

RIGHT ON. The standard sales pitch that the Doomers forced the "remediation". BULL SHITSKI CUBED.

They were trying to MAKE A BUCK OFF A COMPUTER PROBLEM.

THIS IS COMPUTER ****REALITY****:

The Famous Joke of the Day One Liner! "A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history--with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." --Mitch Ratcliffe ********************************************************************** * The Original Joke of the Day http://www.joker.org Joke of the Day The Original Email Joke of the Day. Since 1994 we have served more jokes than the leading hamburger chain has served hamburgers. And we have been responsible for half as many cardiac arrests! mailto:subscribe-joker@send.memail.com To SUBSCRIBE, send an email to subscribe-joker@send.memail.com To UNSUBSCRIBE, forward this message to leave-joker-288486R@send.memail.com

-- cpr (buytexas@swbell.net), July 24, 2000.


OR:

To err is human, it takes a computer for fuck things up royally.

-- cpr (buytexas@swbell.net), July 24, 2000.


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