Match Number 15

Half way through the season now folks! 23 April 2000, Leeds at SJP. 2-2. Shearer was awesome. He scored twice to bring us a share of the points after Bridges and Kewell started what had looked horribly like an impending walkover. All this was with no help up front and he quite simply worked his bollocks off. He was so impressive that he did the exact same thing against Coventry in the next game as well. Mesmerising: got booked for his trouble of course, but that's David Elleray for you, isn't it?

Points Given 2 Barton 2 Howey 2 Dabizas 2 Hughes 2 Gavilan 2 Fumaca 1 (sub) Lee 2 Helder 2 Marcelino 1 (sub) Domi 2 Dyer 2 Maric 1 (sub) Shearer 5 (booked but 2 goals!)

Results: Match 15

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Brewery Droopers United	1-2	Athletico Backworth
Dabizas Pleazas	1-4	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach
Duncan's Disorderlies	3-0	Beardo United
MacBeth's Marauders	1-1	Barton's Samba
Toon Goons	0-1	Proper Lard Unathletic
Wallsend Old Boys	4-3	Steph's Superstars
Woodstock County	1-2	MinesaS&N Academicals
Yelli's Yobs	3-3	Pilgrim's Converts

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Corinthian Smart-Casuals	3-2	Baxter Basics
Dudley Boys	2-0	Chevy's Choppers
Howdon Harriers	2-0	Carlisle United Revisited
ITK Heaton World Beaters	2-2	Blaydon Racers
Screacher's Creatures	4-2	Quantum Mechanicals
Spayne	3-4	Real Zaragossy
The Gallowgate	1-0	Jessie's High Pants
The Stellar Warriors	2-1	Pete's Porkie Pies

BBS Notionless League Division 2

FC Forget-Me-Nots	6-1	Bewildered De Builders
FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	1-0	Douglas All Boys (B) Team
Gallowgateaserai	3-0	Doomed United
Preston Big End	3-0	Ceptic
Superstitious FC	0-2	Shilbottle WMC
The Entertainers	0-1	SS Enterprise
Toon Gutter Snipes	3-2	Real Seghill
Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	2-2	Sexy Boys

BBS Premier Corinthian League Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Pilgrim's Converts	Pilgrim	11	3	1	42	17	25	36
2	MinesaS&N Academicals	muzzainoz	8	3	4	35	22	13	27
3	Yelli's Yobs	Yelli	7	5	3	38	27	11	26
4	Athletico Backworth	Jonno	7	4	4	31	27	4	25
5	Steph's Superstars	Steph	7	3	5	31	23	8	24
6	Brewery Droopers United	Windy	8	0	7	29	22	7	24
7	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	SMB	7	2	6	35	30	5	23
8	Beardo United	Beardo	6	3	6	37	38	-1	21
9	Proper Lard Unathletic	Tony Green jnr	6	1	8	22	23	-1	19
10	Woodstock County	Cliff	5	2	8	22	21	1	17
11	Duncan's Disorderlies	Dunx	5	2	8	18	24	-6	17
12	Toon Goons	Ciara	4	5	6	22	30	-8	17
13	Barton's Samba	Barton	5	2	8	14	31	-17	17
14	Dabizas Pleazas	PeteT	5	1	9	19	33	-14	16
15	Wallsend Old Boys	Hiro	5	1	9	25	40	-15	16
16	MacBeth's Marauders	MacBeth	4	3	8	19	30	-11	15

BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Quantum Mechanicals	True	10	3	2	35	16	19	33
2	Howdon Harriers	Softie	9	3	3	40	19	21	30
3	The Stellar Warriors	Galaxy	9	3	3	32	21	11	30
4	Carlisle United Revisited	Scratchy	8	3	4	27	22	5	27
5	Screacher's Creatures	Screacher	6	5	4	30	31	-1	23
6	Baxter Basics	Baxter	7	2	6	22	23	-1	23
7	Jessie's High Pants	Loony Toon	6	3	6	19	19	0	21
8	Blaydon Racers	Geordie	5	5	5	30	26	4	20
9	Real Zaragossy	Dr Bill	6	1	8	30	34	-4	19
10	Dudley Boys	Hayley	5	4	6	18	22	-4	19
11	Spayne	Kevin Koogan (Garcie)	5	4	6	23	28	-5	19
12	Pete's Porkie Pies	Pete in Canada	4	4	7	14	18	-4	16
13	Corinthian Smart-Casuals	The Geordie Jew	4	4	7	21	30	-9	16
14	ITK Heaton World Beaters	ITK	3	4	8	11	23	-12	13
15	The Gallowgate	Kegsy	3	4	8	22	43	-21	13
16	Chevy's Choppers	Chevy	2	4	9	16	24	-8	10

BBS Notionless League Division 2 Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	Tom	11	3	1	39	11	28	36
2	Preston Big End	clarky	9	3	3	34	19	15	30
3	Shilbottle WMC	Gus	8	5	2	29	18	11	29
4	The Entertainers	Kevin Keegan	7	3	5	41	30	11	24
5	FC Forget-Me-Nots	Robby Bobson	7	2	6	23	22	1	23
6	Douglas All Boys (B) Team	Gibbo	7	2	6	33	38	-5	23
7	SS Enterprise	Elliot	6	4	5	31	21	10	22
8	Real Seghill	Juano	5	5	5	33	22	11	20
9	Bewildered De Builders	De Builder	5	5	5	34	33	1	20
10	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	Josh	6	2	7	26	38	-12	20
11	Gallowgateaserai	Pit Bill	5	3	7	21	22	-1	18
12	Toon Gutter Snipes	Tre	5	3	7	26	34	-8	18
13	Superstitious FC	Gav	4	5	6	36	41	-5	17
14	Doomed United	Dougal	4	3	8	18	28	-10	15
15	Sexy Boys	Ruud Gullit	3	2	10	16	38	-22	11
16	Ceptic	TSM	3	0	12	10	45	-35	9

Fixtures: Match 16

BBS Premier Corinthian League

MinesaS&N Academicals	Vs	Athletico Backworth
Pilgrim's Converts	Vs	Barton's Samba
Proper Lard Unathletic	Vs	Beardo United
Steph's Superstars	Vs	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach
Toon Goons	Vs	Brewery Droopers United
Wallsend Old Boys	Vs	Dabizas Pleazas
Woodstock County	Vs	Duncan's Disorderlies
Yelli's Yobs	Vs	MacBeth's Marauders

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Jessie's High Pants	Vs	Baxter Basics
Pete's Porkie Pies	Vs	Blaydon Racers
Quantum Mechanicals	Vs	Carlisle United Revisited
Real Zaragossy	Vs	Chevy's Choppers
Screacher's Creatures	Vs	Corinthian Smart-Casuals
Spayne	Vs	Dudley Boys
The Gallowgate	Vs	Howdon Harriers
The Stellar Warriors	Vs	ITK Heaton World Beaters

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Real Seghill	Vs	Bewildered De Builders
Sexy Boys	Vs	Ceptic
Shilbottle WMC	Vs	Doomed United
SS Enterprise	Vs	Douglas All Boys (B) Team
Superstitious FC	Vs	FC Forget-Me-Nots
The Entertainers	Vs	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts
Toon Gutter Snipes	Vs	Gallowgateaserai
Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	Vs	Preston Big End

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

Answers

Woah! Flash banner Softie!!!(:o)

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

Bloody hell....I think I must have scored negative points with that squad out :((

Hmm next match is against that incontinent old fool again....I haven't yet forgotten the spanking he gave me in the first game of the season so I'll have the lads in for some extra training this week to plan our revenge mission....maybe we'll just hide all his nappies...

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

Glad you liked it :-)

I'm going to tun into almost as big a smartarse as Screacher if I'm not careful :-D

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

Wow, Softie. It's fantastic! The manager of Doomed United is nonethless deeply depressed by the team's crap showing and continues to suggest that supporters get used to the idea of having the most nervous ground in the BBS Conference next season...

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

From one bliddy spreadsheeter (That's the funniest thing I've ever been called - loved it!) to another, I'm very impressed Softie. The hours slaving over the textbooks have paid off. :o))

Thank you RNG - I nearly got max possible points there!

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

How many more draws an I gonna get.......i'll never get out of the relegation zone like this.......South Coast break for the next match.....should be a doddle.......Lunch in Harry Ramsden's just by the end of the pier there.....real F&C team this one.......walk along the beach.....smash the living daylights out of the Stella Warriors....dinner and a few pints on the New Forest and home for supper.......magic.

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

We`ll see ITK! We`ll see!!!(:o)

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

A win. Looks like I could be popping the pink champagne corks ala big Ron!

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

Well that's more like it. I knew we could do it and I know we can do it again. This is our biggest win since we beat the Super Tits and I see we are playing them away next after they were beaten at home today. I'm really looking forward to this. I know we have a long way to go (who let them play in Switzerland?) and we have come a long way since we set off on the long journey to go a long way.

Does anybody have any idea when match 16 will be played? I have completely lost it and don't know whether I am coming or going. We at FC Whatsworname Football Club like to know what's going on and what's going down (I think we meet them next). I wish I had as much confidence in the League Chairman as I do in my team. I hope we win tomorrow or the next day or the next.

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

We at FC Whatsworname Football Club like to know what's going on and what's going down

While we ate MOTD Stadium prefer to know what's going on and who's going down.....if you get my drift!

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

I have know idea what you are talking about Mr Know (or is it Doctor?). You've confused me with your pasting. I think you should be careful what you say. And what you eat (MOTD Stadium) you big fat b@st@rd. Weren't there enough pies for you?

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

So that'll be 10 away games to my 6 at home ;-((

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2000