Anyone know of REAL people with unfortunate names?

Here's two I know of.....

My half sisters dad is called Ronald Sole, i kid you not.....R.Sole

There's a chap in the office here who is real ARSEHOLE and his name is Anil Verma....which sounds remarkably close to Anal Vermin which is exactly what he is and what we all call him....he's winding me up big style this morning....

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Answers

We have friends who christened their son John - not very unusual you might say, but as their surname is Thomas, it seemed pretty bl@@dy silly to me!(:o)

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

I kid you not .... OLd girlfriend went out witha lad before me called Richard Seaman ... Dick Seaman . And i had a friend in Stocksfield called Andre Peacock .. Drew Peacock .. who the f wud called their kid that eh ? : - ))

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

We knew a Miss Coffin who married a Mr. Pine. They are now Mr. & Mrs. Pine-Coffin!!

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Only mildly amusing, but there was a guy where I used to work called Dick Cheeseman, and the Dick was entirely his choice rather than other people's abbreviation. I also used to be amused by the names of two radio news reporters for some local station down in Southampton - Chris Peacock and Sonya Legg. I'm obviously easily amused..

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

In a previous life, came across a medical student with the surname Robin-Coker. Also a Melba Melanie or maybe it was Melanie Melba.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

I used to edit a bunch of techie journals, and a few of the contributing academics stood out for ridiculous names; Dick Mould, Fanny Hurtz and the marvellously named mancunian Gordon Shed. It was a continual trial to keep a straight face talking to these people....

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Just ran this past my boss and he knew of....

Wayne King for apparently married a woman called Lee.....Wanking and Leaking...

And another bloke called Justing King.......Just Thinking...

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

It was always a childhood prank at a station/shopping mall etc. to get them to page fictitious people over the pa system - like Wayne King, or Wayne Kerr, Mr C Lion and so on. As I said earlier, easily amused me..;-)

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Pretty sure there was an Aussie motorcyclist called Wayne Kerr or Wayne King.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Leave a message on someone's desk, saying

"please phone Mr C Lion on 020 7722 3333"

..being the number for London Zoo. Works occasionally and get's my seal of approval, arf arf.

No need for a coat in this weather...

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Classic Windy! I've just text'd my flatmate and said Mr C Lion called etc etc, he then phoned me up and said who's this C Lion, to which I replied "I dunno he just called last night, give him a ring"

I am awaiting his embarrased response!! Excellent.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

NIce!

I went to school with a girl called Shirley Knott, I kid you you not!

Next up was the very funny story of a mate of mine George Pimberley. He married his love KIm in a reg office. The registrar announced them as man and wife, then she started to piss herself laughing as she realised she was now KImberley PImberley. Very Funny.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

The head of the catholic church in, I think, Malaysia for some time was Cardinal Sin. There must be web page somewhere with lots of these types of things...

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

hahahaha I remember that Cardinal Sin one.....

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

An ex-pupil at wor lass's school was called Annette Curtain.

Bad first names for current pupils include "Harley D" and "Sky Rose".

At work we have a Dr Ann Drew and a recent Registrar called Dr Roger Ramtej (nearly Roger Ramjet???). Used to have a Dr Tessa Dresser with us...and there is a urologist at Kingston Hospital call Dr Dick. Add to this Dr Sado.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Acquaintance called Adams, calling his bairn Francesca.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Cousin called Teresa Green.
Hey, but in the manly world of Science and Mathematics we have Kundt's Tube, Tit's Lemma and I am sure that Fuch came our way in Physics.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Some amusing place names: Matching Tye (Essex): it is a matter of great regret that the next village is not called Shirt.

Hints (Staffordshire): The village name sign reads: "HINTS - Please drive carefully" ....but that's only one hint.

Knockin (Shropshire): The village store is, of course, called The Knockin Shop.

Loggerheads (Staffordshire): Some place to be at...

Maidenhead (Berkshire): Legend has it that there was a removals (trucking) company called "Maidenhead Removals".

Penisarwaun (Gwynedd): The Guardian reported that a man calling a government office in London from this village was asked to spell his address. When he reached the fifth letter of the village name, the female clerk shouted "Pervert!" and slammed the phone down.

Penistone (South Yorkshire): Another place not to spell out to your maiden aunt.

Shitterton (Dorset): The ancient village name literally means "The village on the stream used as an open sewer". Trust the late 20th century to want to change the name to Sitterton, against the wishes of the inhabitants.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Went to school with Clint Southwood.

Friends with the Head brothers...Richard and Frederick (I kid you not).

Funeral parlour in Kenilworth in Cape Town was run by Humann & Pitt.

My Mum nearly married a bloke called Virgil Pomfrett: how lucky I feel that she instead married a man called Wimbush and I was the first to develop at school...

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Windy

Shiterton is more likely to have originally meant "dirty town", as from Chaucer's Canterbury Tales where he talks of a "shitten shepherd" - it's unclear if he knew of the NUFC Board at the time.

On a similar toilet theme, there is a fabric shop in Brick Lane, London called "Touching Cloth", which after a Bangladeshi curry you most probably would be :-)

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

I'm dealing with a guy, here in Hong Kong, called Anthony Man. I had his switchboard operator in stitches, when I called up the other day and asked; "can I speak to A. Man, please?"

I used to have a boss called Alan Pratt, as in good morning, are you A. ...,?, say no more!

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

OK, I've found this lot:

What would happen if two people with conflicting names got married? What would Bo Derek be called if she married Don Ho? Bo Ho? Well, here are a few more:

If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.

If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.

If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she'd be Ella Vader. ("Going up?")

If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.

If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.

If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John. ("Sorry Ma'am, what was your name again?")

If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster. ("Ouch!")

If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting. ("Double Ouch!")

If Tuesday Weld married Hal March III, she'd be Tuesday March 3.

If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh. ("This marriage wouldn't last!")

If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.

Nog (Related to Quark on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare. ("He he")

If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.

If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.

If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener. ("Sing along!")

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

If you're including place names you can't miss out:

Idle (Yorks)- wherein lies the Idle Working Men's Club

Ugley (Essex) - home to the Ugley Women's Institute

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

We had a guy at work called Richard Pidler, but he was never known by his full name.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

NUFC.COM is carrying this story:

Apparently the mackems are chasing an Argentine youngster, Julio Arce. Coincidentally, it is almost two years to the day that Brian Pinas made his debut for Newcastle at Birmingham City. The Soccernet article reporting the Arce interest also states that Monkey's Heed is after Italian Antonio Conte as well, but you wouldn't want us to explore that particular avenue, now would you?

Of course we wouldn't. A juicy story like that could get a bit hairy.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Wor lass has a friend called Jo who married Steve to become Jo Doe.

On a more personal front, when me girl marries me and then chooses to take my name, she'll be Deputy Dooley - which causes some mirth among the cockneys.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

So your missus is called Deputy then Bobby?.....strange name that one mind.....

What country is she from?

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Former co-worker was an indian girl named Chitrunjan. She shortened it to Chitty. That was fine until our boss, a Brasilian, tried to pronouce Chitty with his accent- came out Shitty.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Gav

Ok, to clarify - she's a deputy head teacher at a primary school

Happy now???!!!

Bottler! ;-)

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

My sister-in-law is called Victoria Cross.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

One of our Radio Light Entertainment producers at work is called Joanne King, (shortened to Jo)

I'd better be careful as he may read this board, but I used to go to school with a lad called Maxwell Balls........

When my missus was in hospital with our first born, the girl in the next bed had twins and they called one Troilus(sp) and the other Cressida(sp) - pompous pratts.......

And carrying on Budwisers theme, If whoopie Goldberg had married Peter Cushing.....she'd have been Woopie Cushing.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Geordie, kid you not, in 63 the military attache in the bahamas based out of Nassau was Lt Col Pine-Coffin of the paras, incident to long to relate, we leapt out of sea-plane to go ashore on Andros wearing nowt but shorts and flippers, the enemy!! surrended, weird guy.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

When I worked at a travel agency, one of our counter agents ran back to the phone pit and burst into laughter, then asked us to pull up a reservation under the name of Yoo(Korean guy). The reservation appeared on-screen as Yoo, Suk Won. Poor girl had to compose herself and go back out to help the guy.

Other real place names of interest...in Pennsylvania: Intercourse(for real!!), Bird-in-Hand, Paradise. They exist. They're on maps of the Dutch Country, and I made my mom drive through those towns when I was about 12 cause I couldn't believe they existed!

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

I once did a little business with a guy called -- Claude Balls!
I can still smile at the memory of my rather prim Secretary popping into my office, straining desperately to keep her bright red face straight, saying "there's a man with a rude name waiting in reception to see you!"

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

I don't think there's owt rude with the name Claude. OK, a bit pompous, but not rude. Talking of pompous, a bit forward thinking for ITK's missus's friend to name one of her offspring after a car.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Friend of a friend time. A girl who I know used to work with someone called Carey. Not particularly amusing, but her second name was Hunt.

If it was her parents they should have been barred from having kids. If by wedlock then they should have realised after the first date and agreed to part there and then.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

Windy I lived in Penisarwaen for a year whilst lecturing at UCNW.
My address was Camelot, King Arthur, Penisarwaen- unbliddyforgetable.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000

I almost forgot......when I worked for S&N (hockle spit bah) in the Toon back in the ealry/mid 70's.....my bosses secretary was called Jayne HOARE!

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000