Okay, that's it. I'm ashamed, embarrassed, and saddened. And not just because I've found myself hooked on Survivor and even the Big Brother website(?!). I want ON those shows.

Really, I'd rock.

Physically, not a problem (in fact, I don't think it would be for most people, so that's not saying much).

Mentally, though, that's where the fun stuff comes in.

Need to know how to deal with a bunch of crazy people? My rehab credentials are pretty solid. (Sheeet, BigBrother got nuthin' on those folks.)

Learn to get along outside of your box? Heyyy . . . military brat upbringings are good for lots of things- you get to change boxes all the time.

Playing silly teambuilding games? Dude, I *led* those games in four years of full time community service.

How 'bout interesting stories? Hah- I can take you from the crack house on Maple Street in Atlanta to an Upper Class seat on a Virgin transatlantic segment.

Hard work? Well, only if you count dropping out of the 10th grade, working full time through college and getting your JD from a top-tier law school by 24.

Worried about privacy? Well, if you read my journal . . . (and think of the daily entries I could make from the Big Brother house!)

But can I do what it takes to self-promote? Please :)

So please, write me with your tips for the application. Or wait, just write Les Moonves, head of CBS, and DEMAND that I get a slot the next go round.

Thank you for your support. Cheers y'all.

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2000

Answers

See if you can reach any of the actual contestents, and ask what they think the producers were looking for. (they may or may not know, but might be worth a try)

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2000

I tried to get on "The Real World" very early on... Like 2nd, maybe 3rd season. I even knew someone who'd been roommates with a producer & I worked for a related (TimeWarner at the time) company. Nothing.

I think I read somewhere about the making of "Survivor" that they look for sex appeal - but that's kinda duh, huh? I think they look for dynamic characters with standout attributes - alcoholics (that girl from Hawaii???), Pucks (completely nuts and gross), Rachels (hispanic, highly educated, Republican, Catholic - very dynamic), the guy who died from AIDS... Erics (sex appeal).... Julies (that thick Southern accent & the ballet (?))

Do a character study of the people you see and then of yourself before you send in your tape (which you have to do... tell a little about yourself, why you want to do the show, etc... nothing too hard.) I put confetti and streamers in my envelope so mine would stand out... I guess it didn't too much, now did it? Maybe make your tape interesting.... film it in the tub, have a website promoting yourself, asking people to sign an online, what's the word I'm looking for, an online like fill in ballot thingy of people that want to see you on TV. Make a specticle of yourself.

Just thoughts - take 'em for what they're worth. I'm interested to see what others think about this.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2000

I just re-read my first two paragraphs. NOT that I don't have sex appeal.... I'm not a completely overwhelming hottie, but... you know what I mean.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2000

Well, if you'll forgive me for saying so, Curtis, you're obviously insane. That in itself should be enough to qualify you :)

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2000

James wrote: Curtis, you're obviously insane. That in itself should be enough to qualify you :) ~ Well, that's what I'm counting on . . .

I'm seriously considering trying to work an angle involving lots of support from the net. If I dusted off my address book, I'm fairly sure I could moblize some folks. And at least it's more believeable (?) than some guy getting some when his hitcounter rolled over to whatever.

The small problem is that between now and Tuesday, I've got *no* time to do this (or even make this post), as this small matter of taking the VA bar remains unfinished . . .

(I may somehow incorporate that into the video, though . . .)

~

Re: the sex appeal and diversity Grace mentioned- yeah, I think it's fairly apparent there's a demographic challenge involved. My problem is that it turns out I'm something of a (defective) chameleon- I can come across as a genuine huckleberry when I'm working in south Georgia, or as a local in the family home of Nottingham (UK). I say defective cause it has it's limits- and occasionally the wrong one makes an appearance at the wrong time :)

~

As to straight up physical appeal, I think I'm okay. Not quite boy- band material, but I think I'd do fine.

Thanks for the ideas, so far.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2000

I really don't think testimonials from your online chums would sway the producers.

These shows cast "types". Survivor is full of them: ~~Rudy is the crusty curmudgeon ~~Colleen is the ingenue ~~Sue's the tough-talking Midwesterner

etc.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2000

Oh, I think Curtis definitely qualifies as a 'type'. Type of *what*, I'm not sure how to define. What day is it?

Hottie factor is in place...crazy dude who'd make the others either swoon or squirm or both..yep yep. It'd be scary to watch him in action - *I'd* be hooked for sure, and I don't watch these shows...

-- Anonymous, July 21, 2000