Do you love them? Dread them? Ignore them? Do you whine and beg for gifts and attention, making sure everyone around you knows it's your birthday long before the fact, or do you hope no one notices? Are you usually disappointed by your birthdays? Do you take the day off from work?

I'm enjoying this one a lot so far; I really like the idea of Birthday Week. (Thanks, Pamie!) I've received books and garden tools and a thing that I'm not telling you about until tomorrow. And my parents paid for a new a/c for my car, so I'm a very happy girl.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Answers

Beth - congrats on the new a/c!

Since my birthday falls in January 1, when I was a kid I always got, well, jipped. Now I just don't really care, but it *IS* nice to have a party full of people sing you happy b-day right after the new year. And you get more New Year kisses that way :-)

My family *did* forget my birthday one year - when I was 17. I threw a huge fit for the entire next year. I brought up the fact that they forgot my b-day, didn't do anything for me, and that they should be ashamed of themselves because it isn't exactly hard to forget, you know. For a whole year I kept this up - very unlike me to hold a grudge like that.

So when I turned 18, I got the works - they came to work and put balloons in my car (filled it up). When I drove home from work there were signs along the road! For MILES! There was a sign on the garage. The works. I got spoiled that year.

I love the idea of birthday week - so much so, I may steal it for myself.... Maybe make it birthday month!

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Being an almost-Christmas baby, I always got combined Christmas/birthday presents, or birthday presents wrapped in Christmas paper (which has always annoyed me).

I like the idea of a birthday week, but since the week would either contain Christmas, New Year, or both, I still wouldn't get all the attention I deserve.

Obviously, I have issues with birthdays.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Oh no, and here I thought I was such a good daughter. Both my mother and my step-mother have Christmas birthdays. My mother's is on Christmas Eve and my step-mother's is a couple of days after. I've always been very careful to get both of them two presents every year, even when it definetely felt like a finacial strain. However, it never even occured to me not to wrap the birthday presents in X-mas paper.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Even at the age of 36, I still love my birthday.

I begin the countdown about 3 weeks before. "My birthday is in 18 days, " I'll tell my mother, who is of course perfectly aware of the fact.

We have a fun birthday tradition in my family - the Birthday Queen/King. On our birthday, everyone must do our bidding. This year, I got my mother to spring for a new tattoo for me, and had my brother dance like an organ grinder's monkey.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

My birthday is two weeks after school starts, and two days after my mother's birthday. For many years, we celebrated them both on the day between our birthdays, and I usually got school stuff mixed in with the real presents. On my 18th birthday, I suffered from a double ear infection. We were tight for money that year, so I got a nice big vial of Amoxillin for my birthday. And jam. My dad heard me complain about the fact that there was no raspberry jam in the house, so he got me some. And put a bow on it. Thoughtful of him, but I would have preferred a real present and the ability to stand up.

I'm turning 25 in September. I wonder what that's going to be like?

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

I used to give people minute-by-minute updates concerning the immediacy of my birthday (six days, four hours, and twenty-one minutes, have you picked out a present yet???)

After years of whining that I never got a suprise party, my friends threw one for my 18th birthday and decided to rub my nose in it a bit. They made all of the little "mistakes" to clue me in that I was going to get a surprise party. The night of my birthday came and my friend said, "Oh, we have to drop by Trey's, I forgot something over there." I really thought I was on my way to my surprise party. Totally. We get to Trey's, there are streamers, a little cake, and .... two people. I sat there the rest of the night, trying not to cry, while friends called and apologized for not being able to make it. My favorite quote from that night, eight years ago, by Trey: "It's not that we didn't invite anyone, Erin, it's just that no one showed up!!" It was terrible.

The next night, I went out with my friend again, totally intent on drinking the largest daiquiri possible and attempting to forget my pathetic birthday party, convinced that the world hated me. Turns out she forgot her wallet at my parent's house so we went back home to get it. When I walked in the door, there were about 50 people there, grilling, streamers everywhere, a BIG cake, the works. They decided to teach me a little lesson for being so obnoxious about wanting a surprise party by throwing a fake one the night before. It worked. They still have the video tape of me whimpering at Trey's house.

Since then, I really don't mention my birthday. Yes, some people forget and it's never quite the "me" day that I want it to be, but if I get to have a good day and maybe go out to a nice dinner, that's all I really need. My best friend's dad called (it was July 1st) and sang "Happy Birthday" on my answering machine this year. There's nothing like having a 58-year-old redneck from Ida, Louisiana singing on your machine, in his best Sinatra imitation. That one was the best.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Heather, turning 25 was quite a big deal for me (earlier this year). I can no longer write off stupid behaviour on 'being in my early 20's' - i.e. barely out of my teens.

My birthday was always very cool in New Zealand because it's on 6th of February - Waitangi Day, the NZ main public holiday. So I always got the day off, and the weather was always good. Between the ages of 10 and 15 every birthday was spent at Ashhurst Horse Show, with my ponies. Happy days.

It's not quite so cool now I'm in the UK - the weather is always horrible and I have to go to work. But I get lots of nice presents from Tristan, so that helps make up for it.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

My birthday is february 14. I have never had a birthday party on my birthday because it is Valentines day. big deal. None of my friends will ever commit to going out with me on my birthday just in case they get a date for V-Day. I never get anything for valentines day either because I get birthday presents. It isn't the hugest worst crisis in the world but having a birthday on a holiday sucks.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Whoever told me it was all downhill after 21 was right. Actually, though, birthdays have been kind of a non-event since I moved to the UK. My brother and I have the same birthday (three years apart), so we always had huge parties or special trips, but my husband and I usually just go out to dinner or...something. (My birthday is Friday, by the way, and I'm well chuffed to share my Birthday Week with you, Beth!)

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Used to love them, but I'll second Jackie's "after 21-downhill" sentiment, as my last b-day was a huge letdown from the big blast I had last year. Not to mention it was on a Monday, immediately after a holiday weekend, I had to work virtually all day long, and my best friend had just dumped me a week before because I was driving him nuts. Came back two weeks later, but I was really pissed at his timing, especially since he was going to throw my party. I ended up not having a party at all because I didn't have time to plan or invite anyone.

Basically I am pretty quiet about birthdays, but hit up parents for presents (with last year's exception). As I've gotten older and nerdier, I tend to do less and less for mine.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Since Thursday is my birthday, it's my Birthday Week, too! I just ended a three year relationship and last year, my ex-boyfriend actually made me cry on my birthday! I don't expect much from others, maybe a birthday drink or lunch or something, but when I'm involved in a relationship, I do make a big deal out of my special day and drop all kinds of hints about what I might like and how I'd like to spend the day. I do love to get birthday cards in the mail and I stand them all up for display for about a week after my birthday.

Since I'm not involved with anyone this year, I'm spending my birthday with my sister at the Ann Arbor Art Fair which is a full day's outing. We go every year, but I'm glad it's actually on my birthday this year so that I won't be tempted to mope about getting older (I'll be 38) and the fact that a couple of friends went out of town this week without saying anything about getting together to celebrate when they get back. A couple of other friends have yet to mention anything about getting together and this is something we make a special point of doing for each of our birthdays.

It could be worse, though... At least I know my ex won't spoil the day!

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Laura,

I also get the "birthday gifts in Christmas paper" thing. You wouldn't think it would be a big deal, but it is. The next time someone does that to me, I'll wrap *ALL* their gifts in Christmas paper.... wedding, baby, anniversary, birthday, valentine's, you name it.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Happy birthday, Beth!

My birthday is January 4 so I used to get presents combined with Christmas. But for most of my adult life, I've had boyfriends and friends who remembered it and made it special. I've been having Birthday Weeks for years, and I celebrate my half birthday too. I don't tell people it's my birthday or whine and beg for attention before the day - it means more to me if someone remembers. I don't take the day off (why waste a day off in January?)

What makes my birthday my birthday is going out somewhere for a very fancy steak dinner. If all my friends can come too, that's great. If it's just my partner and me, that's okay too.

My partner and I handle gifts very logically - we just tell each other what we want and go shopping together, or sometimes I go pick it out and he pays me back. I don't care if it isn't a surprise, I'd rather have exactly the Coach bag I want or whatever.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Screw Birthday Week...I have a freakin' Birthday Season. It starts on June 8 (one month before the Great Date) and ends on August 8. Of course, I don't really do much with it, but it allows me to prolong the joy and possibly get a little more attention.

After the Great Birthday Disaster of 1999, I have decided that I will never, ever work again on my birthday. I had the worst birthday last year, I worked then went to school and did absolutely nothing to celebrate. I like having fun on my birthday, doing things I like to do, and getting lots and lots of attention.

I had a party this year. A party full of friends and people I met on the internet but had never met in real life. I had karaoke and good Italian food and an ice cream sundae with a sparkler in it and way too much to drink. And it was great.

I make a big production of my birthday, but it's not so I'll get presents from everyone I've ever met. I'm at the point where I don't really care about presents. I'm hard to buy for anyway because I pretty much buy everything myself. All I wanted this year was to be surrounded with my friends. And I got it, and that made me thrilled.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETH!!!!

Do you all know how hard it is to find a decent birthday card in December? And sometimes it's impossible to find birthday paper either. My friend Chris has his birthday in December and he always gets some lame card because it's all I can find. I do my best not to wrap the present in Christmas paper.

My birthday is on Jan 31 and I always get lame presents too. Mostly it's because my birthday falls right around the time people get their credit card bills from Christmas. The only person I can count on is my fiance, cause he always gets great gifts. He plans a lame party though. Last year he bought me a pinball machine for my birthday but only invited his friends to a party. I let him slide, because he did buy me a pinball machine, but next year is my big 3-0 and he'd better get it in gear.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Everyone always forgets about my birthday because its in the middle of the summer and most tend to be out of town. My parents always forget too, and they're usually always home on said day. When I was younger I used to wake up extremely happy on my birthday and would be very disappointed to go downstairs and have no one remember. Sometimes I would get pissed and *say* something, other times I would just let it go and let them feel guilty about it when they remembered weeks later. My brother's birthday is 12 days after mine, so we always had a party around that time anyways, and they would give me birthday wishes then. Funny thing is, they never forget HIS actual birth-day, and have even tried to schedule parties for HIM on *my* actual birthday without including me. I said this year I was never going to celebrate anymore because nobody cares anyways, but my one best friend offered to take me out, so that was nice. My parents didn't remember at all. I didn't get any gifts (which is ok because i never wanted gifts). But it would be nice for people to remember one year without me prepping them of it's upcoming arrival a month beforehand. And yes, I am a bit bitter, but i'm tired for being forgotten.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Happy Birthday, Beth!

Heather...turning 25 was a big deal to me because for the first time in my life, I could think of my age in terms of portions of a century...a quarter of a century old. I was griping to my dad about it when I turned 25 and he said, "Tell me about it!" I forgot that he was turning 50 in 3 short months after it!

Now, that I'm nearly 37, I thought I would be more upset about coming up on 40, but I honestly am too busy too care.

I like Birthday Week, Beth. It doesn't guarantee I'll send Jeremy home with presents daily, but I will be sure to remind him he should. ;)

Wendy

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Tanya, I'm so sorry about your birthday being forgotten. I think it's really sad that your own parents would forget the day you were born. And then to turn around and remember your brother's birthday!

I suggest you declare today or tomorrow your UN-birthday, and go crazy with it!

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Happy Birthday, Beth!

Heather - I just turned 25 on 6/24, and it was a lot better than I thought it would be. My birthday is about as far from Christmas as you can get, so that's not an issue, but for some reason 6/24 seems to be a popular wedding date. My sister chose it 5 years ago because it was the only Saturday in June when everyone could get off work. And this year, it happened to fall on a Saturday again, so most of my friends were attending various weddings all over the country. I spent the day with my family. Since my parents' anniversary is 6/26, we had a combination Kelly's birthday/Jen & Tim's 5th anniversary/Mom & Dad's 30th anniversary event at my parents' house, and it was actually a lot of fun. I do hope, though, that next year, maybe one or two of my friends will actually be in town for the great event :)

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

I whine, I beg, I have no shame whatsoever

My 21st birthday was a BLAST by collegiate standards. It happened to fall over our Homecoming weekend, so it sort of felt like I was celebrating with 20,000 of my closest friends. In actuality, 20 of us met up at my apartment, had Carvel ice cream cake (yumm!!) and went out on the town, drinking and dancing.

Of course, Murphy's Law as it is, I was not carded AT ALL on the big 2-1. I was also the only sober one after eight hours of drinking.

Thankfully, my birthdays since then have been much more tame. 22 saw some good friends of mine making me cakes, without telling me, so I got 4 birthday cakes in 2 days. 23 was another ice cream cake occasion with two of my best friends. This year I'm coming up on 24, in a new place, with a new job, etc. so I have no idea what to expect.

By the way, my birthday is on October 19th. I like books, 80's music and blank journals (that I don't write in at all, but like to collect). You can start saving now, if you wish. :)
Lis

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2000

Turning 25 means nothing much except leaving one advertisers' demographic behind for another (beginning all over again at the bottom of the 25-34 age group). I had medium-size events for my 18th and 21st birthdays, but otherwise I don't like making a fuss about them

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2000

Happy birthday week Beth!

Kelly, my birthday is on June 24 too. I just turned 22 - I am the youngest of my friends and am forever teased for it.

My birthday is usually overlooked because it is in the summer. People are on vacation, or are just plain not around. I don't make a big fuss usually. This year I made chili, got pleanty of beer, and invited my friends. I am in Germany right now and away from home, but I really enjoyed it. I celebrated my previous birthday in Germany too, come to think of it.

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2000

Happy Birthday Beth!

My boyfriends birthday is on the 20th of June so it's close to our Midsummer Celebration. Yesterday we decided to start having birthday weeks but he is going to move his week so it doesn't fall on the same week as the Celebration, when his birthday is in the same week. This because we always have family members staying with us then and he wants to be certain that he is in charge and not his parents. I just wish my birthday was a bit close than February right now.

Sus

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2000

Happy Birthday, Beth! Have a great day...

My birthday's May 31, and I can't complain much about the date. It was always right near the end of the school year, so everyone was always ready to party (and my Senior Prom was on my 18th birthday, which was neat.) Sometimes it's Memorial Day and I get the day off, and I'll usually take it off even if it's a workday.

I usually don't make a big deal of it, but don't think I don't notice and remember who calls and/or sends a card. I don't go into histrionics if people forget, but any recognition is always gratefully appreciated.

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2000

Happy birthday week, Beth!

My birthday has not been made much of since I moved away from home seventeen years ago -- I was thinking as I read this thread that many of the contributors have pretty high expectations from their significant others for birthdays. Until I got married, I was lucky to get a card and a gift, and the closest I've come to a party since I turned 17 is dinner with my wife and in-laws (nice gesture, 'nuff said).

I was also surprised by how personally people take it when their birthday gifts are wrapped in Christmas paper. In my bachelor days, most all of the gifts I gave went out wrapped in the same dull green paper that I used for Christmas -- I had no idea I might have been giving offense. Well, live and learn. These days I have about 100 rolls of wrapping paper in the attic. Something for every conceivable occasion.

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2000

Happy goddamned birthday, Beth!

My birthday's on November 25, which is always within a few days of Thanksgiving. When I was growing up, I usually got at least two parties--one on a Saturday with my friends and one on Thanksgiving with my grandparents. If the 25th was on a schoolday, I got a third one.

Nobody in my family has a clue what to get me for my birthday. They dropped hints that I should write up a wish list, so I did, and they STILL didn't get me the right things. I put about 30 things on the list, ranging from $5 gifts (books) up to lots (new PC). Apparently, my relatives looked at what was on the list and thought Iwas just giving examples of the type of thing I wanted, rather than the exact specific thing (I listed a swing-arm lamp with a circular flourescent light in it and a big magnifying glass in the center of the circle, so I could see what I was doing when I painted lead miniatures. I got a freestanding magnifying glass with a brass stand, very nautical, and almost completely worthless.).

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2000

Beth, you brat!! I can't believe you've got your second puppy, and I'm not even allowed one.

Life blows. But happy birthday.

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2000

YAY YAY YAY, Beth got a puppy!!!!

Jeremy must really love you to give you the puppy even though he was against it. Yay Jeremy!

He'll come around and love Mochi too. Dave hated Ginger at the beginning and now I catch him kissing and petting her and saying 'I'm so glad I talked Mommy into keeping you, You're a good Girl'.

Yay Puppy! I can't wait to see pictures!

I don't think Dave's ever letting me get another puppy, so I have to live vicariously through you. It'll be a long long time before he lets me get another dog, and I can't say I blame him. We do have a house full of them already.

Yay Puppy!

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2000

Happy goddamned birthday, Beth! Yea for new puppies!

Myself, I like my birthday. It's right before Halloween, and I make sure everyone knows about. It's not so much that I like to be the center of attention (though I do) as I just like to celebrate. Birthdays are always good excuses for parties.

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2000

In my family, one of the fun things about birthdays (as a kid) was that my mom would take you to the grocery store then (and she did this at no other time) and you could choose the menu, and also pick out anything else you wanted to eat -- special treats that weren't allowed any other time.

Now my birthday comes during the film festival, so no big party or anything. I don't want to miss movies! But I did get a birthday dance at the Century Ballroom. that's where the birthday person is in the middle of the circle, and all the rest come out and dance with zir. Nervewracking but fun!

Anita of Anita's BOD and Anita's LOL

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2000

Happy Birthday Beth. I hate hate hate my birthday! I gave them up four or five years ago. I have just gotten used to the idea of being over 30. That birthday happened a long time ago! I hate having a number attached to me. Why should I be expected to behave or think in a certain way just because of my age. My mother used to say "youth is wasted on the young". Now I know what she was talking about. We live in an ageist world, birthdays just remind me of that. I want to be 19 again with pink hair tattoos and nose rings! If I did that now my kids would have me committed!

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2000

I got a new job Monday for my birthday on Sunday, which was very cool. Even if I am old and wear my trousers rolled at at 37. PLUS, even better, I got a mom who *doesn't* have cancer after all (damn her old doctor and praise her new one) and comes home from the hospital this afternoon. Woo-HOOOOOOO!

Happy happy birthday, Beth. Do you start your birthday week on Bastille Day (July 14), as I do? Birthdays make me rather militant. Let them eat red velvet cake, I say.

Welcome Mochi! Rosie the Ritalin Dog and Harry the PuppyCat send hugs (and Harry sends Pounce, but says to send it back).

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2000

Just wanted to wish you a Happy birthday, as a fellow Cancerian...Rock on with our moody sensitive selves...another year is better than the alternative!

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2000

Well, your birthday week is over, but happy birthday anyway.

For my birthday, I usually tell a few people, not in a really obvious "5 days to buy me a present!" sort of way. I tell the new people I talk to I talk to often (usually it comes up in conversation), and the ones who then remember and say something to me tend to go on my favorite people list (or at least get a boost).

Usually, I just want to spend my birthdays doing something fun with all of the people I like. It rarely works out that way, but if I get to hang out with one friend, it's not a bad day all in all. (Thanks, Vic)

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2000

Happy birthday, Beth! So glad you got the puppy you needed! I'm sure Doc will be much happier too.

When I was a kid, we were always out of the country on my birthday. I only had one actual birthday party before I was a teenager. My expectations for my birthday are pretty low, so whatever happens is great. I do prefer to make a fuss over bdays...it just seems like a happy thing to do. In the past, we've held one party a month, dubbed "Cancer Fest" or "Taurus Fest" etc... replete with official drinks, desserts and themes according to the bday folks tastes. It got to be too difficult to arrange around everyone's busy schedules, but I expect it to be revived sometime soon. It was a lot of fun when it all fell together.

My 30th birthday was my best so far. One friend took me canoeing all afternoon while a party was prepared. I was completely surprised--my birthday was several days past. The crowning special touch: the wisteria was full of necco wafers (my fav nostalgia candy) hanging from wires. I also got a spontaneous painting commemorating the event. Woo hoo! The official Leo Fest (I'm the only Leo in a loose group of around 20-30 bday revelers--so I don't have to share *my* party!) drink is Jaegermeister; making Leo Fest officially the most obnoxiously drunken bday of the year. Leo Fest motto: "Today, I am dead to shame."

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2000