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Shortly after my attendants had supported me into the house after work last night, I persuaded my darling wife to kick the cat cos thoughts of sitting way up in the gods in the SJH stand had me prostate with melancholy, doom, despair and apathy, plus I'd have had to cut short my egyptian PT session to kick it myself, I could vaguely hear a slightly louder ringing than the permanent ringing in my head.

'Answer the phone you lazy, fat, soggy pig' was the pre-anniversarial endearment screamed at me by the light of my life, who was by now, up in the loft laying chipboard flooring, so I climbed onto my zimmer and rushed to answer the phone, although a rush for me these days is getting to it before the eightieth ring causes the answer phone to cut in - it's the latest BT specially modified old scrote model.

Surprise, surprise, it was one of my new mates at SJP ringing to inform me that far from having to obtain special high altitude breathing apparatus in order to take up my seat at the back of the Sir John Hall stand, I have instead been allocated seat J201 in the Milburn Stand.

There was an instantly noticeable improvement in my demeanour - the melancholy fell away as if by magic. I even managed to stay on my feet for about three seconds without the aid of my zimmer. What a birthday this has been, and no mistake, so I wonder what marvellous surprises my new chums at SJP have in store for me today.

Damn, I've just wet meself again with the excitement. Pee - er - see youse later. And I think that should be prostRate.

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000

Answers

You're as mad as a hatter :))

Congrats on the seat......let's hope it has easy access to the toilets :)

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000


Congratulations PB - I believe J201 is actually one of the new commode-seats they've installed for certain ST holders!

;{)

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000


They're putting you next to the nutters then, see, you shouldn't have complained (c;

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000

Joking apart, my theory is that the tickets had already all been allocated in advance according to waiting list position anyway, and it was the return of a properly completed application form that decided whether or not a ticket would be issued.

I think the first come, first served thing came up when application forms weren't returned by the addressees or were returned by the post office. This left tickets up for grabs which the club then made available on a first come first served basis, without telling anybody unless they phoned and asked.

Apparently, the application form distribution was handled by an outside firm, who, to put it mildly, weren't up to the job. Probably what got me going was being on holiday for two weeks, then getting back and finding no application form, with no idea whether or not I'd missed some sort of deadline. Now seems a bit of a storm in a teacup in my case, as it's turned out. I'm still writing to Rogan Josh but.

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000


I was thinking along those lines Bill, I couldn't see how they could give applications out without a deadline and without any waiting list order the say 1st come 1st served.

What would be helpful is if they told you the allocation criteria. I have submitted mine and Softie's applications together and asked them to seat them together so doubtless they will either be shoved to the back or seperated.

I am impressed at how quickly they go back to you tho'

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000


Don't mind admitting it but I was impressed also, and most pleasantly surprised, although it did cost me three trips to the ground and two trips to a post box.

The thing I liked best was that at no time did I get any hastle from any of the Box Office staff or the Reception staff, even though the Reception guy was run off his feet answering the phone. I got the impression that they were kept in the dark nearly as much as we are.

Maybe things are looking up.

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000


Clarky

It's the ONLY commode seat, so get your beady eyes off it. I've had a word with the Metro people about having one installed on one of the trains, so I won't cause any unnecessary embarrassment travelling to the ground on match days. Necessary embarrassment, yes.

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000


Just heard that Platinum seats are available at #5k each offered to existing occupents first.

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000

<>

Tha's a bit young for delicate male problems of this nature, aren't you.

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000


Sand,
Age has very little to do with it, if you have a talent, it'll show. Exploiting it's the problem. Anybody know a good spin doctor ?

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000


Bill,

I was referring to your remark in the first para

<< had me prostate with melancholy>>

But it just didn't come out. Another sign of prostate problems!

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000


s-d,
It was my deliberate mistake to make sure you were paying attention. Gav,
Slipping effortlessly into pedantic mode, having resisted long enough the temptation to kick a mate when he's down, it would be I, not the seat, who'd need easy access to the toilets.

That must be some hangover you're enjoying.

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000


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