Because these jokes are about the English.

1. An English gent, quite a gourmet, decided to visit America, and one thing he wanted to do was to sample new dishes. Boston was his first stop, and in his guidebook he read about scrod, a fish dish he had never had, though he loved fish. So when he arrived he hopped into a taxi and asked the driver if he knew where he could get scrod. The driver looked at him quizzically and said "well yes, but this is the first time I ever heard it asked for in the pluperfect subjunctive."

2. An English lord decided to visit America, and bought a guidebook to New York City. After going through the Manhattan part, visiting the Empire State Building and all those attractions, he next turned to the Brooklyn section of the guidebook. There he read that a very good time could be had just by hiring one of the colorful Brooklyn cabbies to drive him around. Which he did, getting a good look at the Gowanus and all those wonderful places. Then the cabbie turned around and said "Hey Bud, you want to hear a riddle?"

"Why yes, my good man" said the English lord.

"OK, Bud, listen to this: my mother had a child, and it wasn't my brother, and it wasn't my sister. Who was it?"

The English lord was stupified. If it wasn't the man's brother, and it wasn't the man's sister, who on earth could it be?

When he confessed that he didn't know, the cabbie turned around with a huge toothless grin and shouted "It was ME!!"

Needless to say, this incident made quite an impression on the English lord.

When he got back to England, all of his fellow lords and ladies gave him a big welcome home party, and he regaled everyone with his American adventures. Finally, he asked the group "I say, have any of you heard of what the Americans call a ridell."

None of them had, but they begged him to tell them about it.

"Alright, listen: my mother had a child, and it wasn't my brother, and it wasn't my sister. Who was it?"

The lords and ladies were totally taken aback by this puzzle. If it wasn't brother or sister, who could it possibly be. They begged the lord to tell them the answer. With (still) a slightly puzzled look on his face, he replied "Some taxi driver in Brooklyn."

-- Peter Errington (petere@ricochet.net), July 13, 2000

Answers

Bet OG knows lots worse than this, Peter :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 16, 2000.

Well, maybe she knows worse English jokes ..... but will she tell them?

And if so, what will she tell them?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 17, 2000.