Full details of the worse date you have ever been on. One of those dates where you know from 10 mins into it. That you would rather be anywhere else (including watching the Mackems play!) than be with the person involved.

What can I say I am bored and its chucking it down here so I am stuck in for lunch!

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Answers

Saturday night....I knew before I went that I didn't want to be there....Actually I suppose there's been worse but I can't really think of any at the minute....

One in Burger King as a penniless student does spring to mind, the girl was gorgeous but obviously wasn't impressed by where we were meeting.....half way through the date she told me that she was going to america so wouldn't be able to go out with me again......I did wonder why she never went cos I saw her around town loads over the next 6 months ;)) took another 3 years to get into her pants!! and that turned out to be a total waste of effort :))

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

How did you do that Gav nick them off her washing line ?? :o)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Only the one really. I was about to go on holiday to Australia on the bloody awful BA stopping service so I had to get jabs for just about everything going in the sub-continent.

A friend had asked me to come out with her in London as it was 'The last time we would see each other' - I was too young at 19 to pick up on the nuances in that phrase I would have gathered that this meant a lot to her. As it was, I had the Typhoid jabs and went home in considerable pain where I passed out.

I was awoken by an insistent telephone and had no idea what day of the week it was let alone what time of day it was. Anna was on the phone crying because I was late already and hadn't been answering the phone all evening. I foolishly staggered to the station and got the first train up and so met her about 3 hours late.

She was in floods of tears and I could barely stand upright with all the horrible drugs going round my system. She was obviously resigned to everything being horrible but was determined to make the best of it. I just sat like a zombie in this restaurant while she asked me to marry her when I got back and it felt like I was floating above the table watching this exchange as my body made no attempt to even acknowledge this offer.

The rest of it is even more blurred although I remember her having a huge row with her Dad who had been summoned from their country residence (I would have been set up for life) earlier in the evening as she had been 'abandoned' in London. He didn't even speak to me as he assumed I was stoned by choice.

I never had the nerve to call her after that, but I wake up in a cold sweat of horror when I remember it sometimes as one of those filthy, awful, cringe-makingly embarrassing incidents you would be far healthier forgetting :-(

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

don't say that I need jabs for my trip to Africa on February!!!

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

You'll get loads of them!!!

A heinous continent is Africa, they still won't let me give blood because I lived there. Not looking quite so superior since CJD mind, but I wouldn't give them a drop now if they begged me. Made me feel like a piece of sh*t that did, being turfed out of the clinic. Hopefully I have a particularly rare blood type and people are dropping like flies without the stuff....crikey, I'm definitely in mad scientist mode today....Ha ha ah ah ha! Fools! You're doomed, I tell you, doomed!!!

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

It wasn't me...the voices in my head made me do it...black, black! What's for tea Mother? Worms? The crows are pecking my eyes! Black! Black!

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Having just been to the Dr's for a number of blood tests I am also due to give blood on Wednesday. That makes me feel so much better Softie. I love you too matie !! :o))

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Don't mention it Jay :-) One of the needles is nearly 2 feet long and they have to take a runup to get it in. Even then it's so blunt that they need to whack it in with a mallett...is this helping? ;-)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Jay, what's all this "Softie. I love you too matie !!" stuff then?

Another love affair blossoming this morning.....

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

"Another love affair"

Interesting choice of words there Gav, clearly that industrial size tub of Vaseline on your doorstep that you were so shifty about wasn't delivered to the wrong address after all...:-)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Ge thanks Softie.....I guess I will just have to go down with raging berry berry then!! ;o)

I am going a couple of months before hand for my shots so I am fully recovered to partake in lots of food and aven more alcohol.

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

I don't deny my love for Sting....he is after all very talented in the sack.....I did notice however a distinct lack of denials from yourself and Jay....

Guilty as charged!!

This Kangaroo court is now adjourned!

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Ah but I don't share and Softie has a Mrs Softie, so the romance would have been short lived.

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

OK so it's short lived.......aren't they all? ;)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Go to say no to that one Gav. I am not a short lived kind of girl

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

I was very tempted to say "more's the pity....." cos it was there to be said but I resisted the temptation!!

Anyway, you obviously have to deny your feelings for the soft one cos of his tender situation....I can imagine there'd be a huge outcry if everyone know you were shagging a newly married man who's missus is heavily pregnant......just keep it between yourselves.....it's safe with me ;)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

If she really cared for me she'd wait for me...

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Thanks for that Gav. But I don't actually go for blond haired men. So that shoots the Sofie and I theory out of the water :o)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Who's this Sofie, Jay? Just when this afternoon was looking like a goner you pop in with some tantalising girl-on-girl titbit...:-)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

You two can pack it in.....you're not gonna distract me that easily ;)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Mud wrestling in nurses outfits Softie !! ;o)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Ooooooooooohhhhhhh!!!!

I can smell burning...

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

What is it with men and nurses uniforms????

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

It's exactly the same thing that women have for Firemen...

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

No no. It's the women and nurses uniforms that do it for me ;-)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Jay, check your e-mail.

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Mrs Softie is a nurse...

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Steph I have responded :o)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Ahhh men so predictable

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Steph, why is it that every time people start having a discussion you pop in and send them e-mails...I hope you aren't looking at pictures of firemen's hoses :-)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Firemans hose's! Where ???? :o)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

I'll send them to you when Softie isn't looking! ;-)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Oh goodie! :o)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Fireman dressed as nurses ? Is it a Swiss thing like Gav ?

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

So who else has got a nurses uniform?

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

I have a maids outfit does that count?

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Having the uniform is the easy part: do you have the courage and inclination to wear it? :-)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Sometimes, it matches my feather duster anyway :o)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

I could always dye my hair...

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

I didn't know Gav was Swiss.......sorry........... ;-)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Steph, what?

BTW, got those season tickets and then got a letter on Saturday inviting me to apply from my position on the waiting list :(( I hadn't been on the list very long so I reckon the club are now scraping the barrel to sell those tickets....

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

*peaks out from THE bottom of the barrel*
Where's my letter?!

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Ciara, You can have an "F"....

*Gets coat and tiptoes out...*

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

>>Fireman dressed as nurses ? Is it a Swiss thing like Gav ?

Gav, I also got my ticket then a letter inviting me to apply so they must have got quite a way down the waiting list.

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

I heard the letters were going out in phases but now I'm beginning to suspect sugarplum(tm) has hidden it bless her little pointed hat.

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

If you have no joy Tony I have a set of forms they sent me and I'm already sorted out: feel free to apply as me. Always happy to strike a blow for male football emancipation from the pernicious lasses and their "It's only a game" version of reality :-)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

So Gav, can I buy a vowel?

Mine's the pink anorak over there, thanks.

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

I can sell you an "E" Ciara??

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

The letter arrived this morning, I'm still smiling

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

CIARA, Advise strongly not to buy `E` or `F` Ciara , problems with crotch, never completely resolved, for ref, delete Dingle, insert Del-Boy. quote Betty McGinty AA Roadwatch

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

Those are powerful drugs you're taking Buff ;))

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

Ciara

If you still haven't got a letter, the club sent me one but I'm already sorted. Let me know if you want it.

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

Gav, bliddy right mate, Im rattling, back on the steroids, gotta get it sorted, boobies are getting enormous,matrons uniform to small for me.

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

Hahaha don't start telling Softie and the others that you're in nurses dress.....I can just envisage a Benny Hill type sketch ensuing ;))

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

And shouldn't this thread have been entitled "Okay it's time to DRESS up!!"???

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

What happened to all the bad date information thay this thread was supposed to be about.

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

Jay,

You never posted yours......

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

Hay I asked the question I get away without answering. :o)

Bad dates I will have to think and then pick out the worst there have been a few!!!!

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

C'mon; show me yours, I showed you mine.

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

Okay Jay, bad date eh, not personally but witness to and I felt after that I should have done something at the time, Place Singapore,Year 68, time after midnight, sitting at a adjoining table next to us bootnecks was four RAF guys, one newly out from the UK, young,full of Tiger Beer and wide eyed at the atmosphere in Bugis Street at that particular time, Boys being boys his mates saddled him up with this beautiful Mandarin burd, split in chongsam, to her neck. The young one the virgin soldier waltzed her away to her abode. Unfortunatly during 4play he leant over and to his horror stroked a wheel jack and a set of hydraulics, a victim of the he/she`s. The only way my wife could tell the difference was in the upper arm area,adams apple, they were so real,were the kai-tais the kid had a breakdown, was invalided out, his so called mates each got 6 months inside. Always a happy story with Buff,

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

So Gav's pushing drugs, men are dressing in nurses uniforms, women are running off to Greece for a few good (fire)men....just another sunny day at Greenspun Place! ;-)

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

I heard a similar story Buff but when it came to it the crunch the guy decided "a bot's a bot" and got on with it. This may be an urban myth but a name was bandied about & I would believe it of him.

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

Reading Ciara`s posting above of the "CHASE", imagine having a hameroid/// sorry Ormyroyd on this team to get it all down Lowery style, did a did ti didda, did a did ti did, Dingle, hosiery, steroids, nurses, fireman, busty matrons, did a did did didda. Consultant will see you now Buff

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

Softie mentioned his now ex-girlfriend feeling abandoned in the middle of London. I can go one better then that. I got abandoned in the middle of bloody Germany. When my now ex boyfriend who was in the army and stationed over there, got called to the Gulf on the while I was flying over there!!! I spent a nice 5 hours in the airport with no word from my other half. I eventually got so angry with the him, the army and the world in general. I took a flight back to the UK. Only then did I find out where he was and it took the army 10 days to confirm the information.

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000