When Animals Attack!

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Have you ever been attacked by an animal?

-- Anonymous, July 07, 2000


i was attacked by a little baby pussy cat! i was holding the little guy up in front of my face looking at him, when SCRATCH! the little bugger had taken a swipe at my face. one of his claws got caught in the skin on my face to the left of my left eye. i had to carefully pull the claw out of my skin. i tell ya... it was kinda scary! an inch or so over and i don't want to know what would have happened.

i was also chased by a huge saint bernard dog when i was six years old. i was at a friends house. for some reason my friends parents thought it was fine to let two six year old boys play outside with this mammoth animal. i swear it was twice as big as i was at least! when it chased me the thought that crossed a six year old mind wasn't that if it really wanted to eat me that it would, but in fact that it was trying very hard. i was a valiant little warrior, using all the skills i had learnt in my tour of duty in the kindergarten sand pit. with stealth and speed i got away. but i tell ya... if yer a parent don't leave a massive fully grown saint bernard to chase a six year old kid.

-- Anonymous, July 07, 2000

A few years ago I decided to be nice nice to the ducks in the local pond by feeding them some bread. Sure enough, a huge flock of seagulls came circling all around me. They got very close, but never actually attacked me. I was still throwing bread until these two squirrels came chasing after me. I got scared, thinking these guys may be rabid or something, and ran. Well, they actually started running after me! So I broke into a full-fledged sprint towards me vehicle, madly tossing chunks of bread all around me hoping they would find more interest in the bread then in me. I'm not sure of there intentions but I'm glad I made it to my car alive.

I never went back to that place.

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2000

When I lived in San Diego, I had the same problem with blackbirds. Seemed to be a seasonal thing. For a few weeks they were really sneaky and belligerant. Short of wearing a helmet, all you could do was dream up ways to get revenge. My favorite fantasy was using a tennis racket to blast one out of the sky.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2000

I was bitten on the face by a dog when I was a toddler. I was in the backyard in a playpen; the neighbor's dog jumped the fence and came over to the playpen; I stood up to say hello and the dog bit me. I only found out about this when I was 14 and began shaving; I had never noticed the scar before then. I had always wondered why I was deathly afraid of barking dogs...

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

One time when I was a little kid, I was feeding ducks at a pond and when I was giving a duck some bread, it came up and bit my hand. It felt strange, and after that I didn't feel like helping those stupid ducks anymore.

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

On April 21st, 2000, I was cleaning my house and also playing fetch with my cat (yes my cat played fetch). I was in the middle of vacuuming my livingroom when my cat, Skitzo, jumped on the couch and looked outside (my windows were about 2 1/2 feet off the ground). Skitzo seemed very interested in something outside so I knelt on the couch to see what it was. My cat looked at me and then he jumped. He landed on my face and started biting me. I had to through him off of me four different times. I finally was able to get away from him and call somebody, I couldn't get ahold of anyone I knew. I tried to call the pound but they did not answer the phone. Finally I called the police and they sent a animal control person to help me. I was finally able to get ahold of one of my friends and she came over. When my friend arrived she told me I needed to go to the hospital. At the hospital I recieved 13 stiches in my forhead because my skull was visable. I recieved 4 other stiches on my head, my right cheek was swolled from the 8 puncture wounds from him biting me. I have never blamed my cat. We still don't know why he attacked, but I think he was sick, he had problems that I didn't know about. I still love him and I really miss him. Before he attacked me, he was a very good cat.

-- Anonymous, April 20, 2001

When I was 6, my parents took me to the local zoo. I was a little bastard in those days and when they werent looking I jumped into the turtle enclosure, because Teenage mutent turtles were really big back then, anyway I went to give a turtle some chocolate to eat whenhe bite my hand , clean off ! I cant really remember much after that but I now have a fake right hand, which is a shame andmakes wanking very hatrd indeed BYE

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2001

One morning as I was leaving for work, a black bear met me as I opened my door to leave. I was immediately startled and so was the bear. The bear them decided to come inside. Out of pure fear and maybe reflex, I slammed the door on the bear and broke its neck. I never meant to harm the animal, but at that time I was afraid of it getting into the house. I have also been attacked by coyotes. Two of them chased me around and around my nieghborhood one afternoon. They would never just tear into me, they would run up to me and nip at me then run back. I made it back to my house where I got a shotgun and killed them both. I had to get rabies shots in my abdomen. Now I will shoot coyotes on sight.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2002

i got my leg bitten off by an armadillo. It really hurt. i kicked it in the face. it rolled over and died.

-- Anonymous, March 24, 2002

Why were the people of the United States of America not informed that our former President had his leg bit off by an Armadillo? Wait till the environmental Organizations hear about Bill's latest screw-up. Even i'm not that stupid!

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2002

Which leg got bit off?! (third?!?!?!)

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2002

No Answer but i do have a Story! I was working for a customer finishing their basement.They had this butt ugly terrier with a really bad disposition. I came up the basement stairs and the stupid dog was crashed out with its legs wrapped around the ajar door. I tried to carefully step over it because it really needed its beauty sleep and the door moved startling the dog. It lunged up and tried to bite me in the nuts. I jumped up and smashed my head on the door frame. As Ii came down I slammed the dog on the top of its head which made him let go and bite my ankle. It then made a bee-line for the kitchen with me close behind. I gave it a good kick in the ass and then left for the day. I left a phone message for the customer telling them what happened and offered to pay to have the dog put down.

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2002

hi, i dont have a response but i do have a story. When i went down to virgina a couple of years ago, i went fishing with my friend. We were sitting there fisshing in the woods when all of a sudden a bear comes out from behind us. We ran as fast as we could, but the bear was trailing us and was catching up very fast. we kept looking back to see if the bear was catching up then when we looked in front of us another bear was coming at us. the n we ran off to the right and had to bear chasing us. We were running real hard when i tripped all of a sudden, my friend kept running. I fell on my face, i figured tha if i just ball up and keep my head down the bear would leave me alone, cause i hear it on tv a lot. Let me tell that stuff doesnt work, the 2 bears stopped and look at me, then the one bear got behind and started to have sex wit me i tried to move, then the other bear held me by my neck with his mouth. i was gettin raped by a bear, it hurted so bad, i screamed and cried, the bear kept going for at least an hour. the when he was done i tried to make a run for it but the bear that had just got finishing raping me held me by my neck and the other bear begin to rape me. another hour of of crying and screaming, its pain. It felt like someone stick their whole arm up my butt. The bears genitals were at least 9 to 11 inches and they were so thick. then bears ran off. then my friend who was hiding in the bush came out. he saw the whole thing. He said he was goin to tell everybody, i begged him not to, i told him i would do anything if he didnt say nothing. He told me i had to give him oral sex, i agreed and to find out that he told people the next day any way. i hate my life.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2002

When I was younger my neighbours had a pen full of guinea pigs. They were an old couple, who's only son had been killed in the war. I suppose that's the reason all the local parents decided it was a great idea for the kids to go over for baby sitting whenever the need arose. Little did they know (or seem to care) that those same cute little guinea pigs were psycotic. As soon as your parents left you with the old guys, they would take us kicking and screaming down to the back room, which is where they kept the guinea pigs. Then they would put us in there to play with the pigs. There was one time that this ginger and white kept biting me behind the knee, so I pinched its fur behind the neck and pulled it up to look at it, eye to eye. I swear the little bastard hissed at me, in shock I threw it into the wall, where I thought I had killed it or at least KO'd it. After that the other guinea pigs stayed a bit more wary of me for the rest of the day. After I got home I was sitting in my room thinking how lucky I had been that day, normally the guinea pigs were heaps more aggressive, when I noticed my jumper move a little. I went over to investigate, letting curiosity get the better of me I knelt down and picked up the jumper. In a flash of colour something jumped straight at my face, I jumped back but too late, something happened to my nose. Then BANG! I hit my head on the desk behind me and blacked out. Just before I lost consiousness I saw that little ginger guinea pig striding triumphantly out of my doorway. I have since spent thousands of dollars and many hours in hospital having reconstructive sugery on my nose and face. It would appear that the little prick had come back and gnawed on my face for a while when I was out cold.

The moral of this story is that although guinea piga may look like cute little furry things, at heart they are still a wild animal that has the same natural instincts as many other predators. Most people would not consider letting a lion or hyena in the backyard let alone leaving their children unsupervised with them, so why do we do it with guinea pigs?

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2002

you are all freaks

-- Anonymous, July 01, 2002

i was having fun with lubrication and my pet snake when suddenly he made a lunge for it. it sunk its teeth in and I let out a girly scream. I wrestled the blighter to the floor(steve irwin style) but the damage had been done.Then i ran to the kitchen with the snake still on my penis and i got a spoon and spooned its eyes out. Now i keep them in a jar a laugh every day. Three years on and after thousands of pounds of surgery i am now a woman. The moral of the this story is never face fuck a snake and never ever use lubi it only adds to the pain.

-- Anonymous, July 24, 2002

u lot r all stupid geeks

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2002

one day i was climbing my ladder to paint my roof an my dog was making lots of noise at some birds i wanted to go and hit it right on the nose but i had two paint cans in each hand!!! what could i do ...i spat on it really hard it yelped ha ha an anotherv time i had a lady friend round and i made a great cake and left it in the kitchen for a grand finale so when we finished dinner i went through to present the cake to my girl and my dug had its face in it she left early so i took dog into my bedroom and took out my old boxing gloves (i used to be semi pro)and beat it up real bad and damn near paralysed it and once it bit my friend tiffs balls he howled like a wolf.

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2002

I was surfing at about 6:30am at LaJolla shores, CA July 4th 2001. I was riding a wave in when I hit a sand bar and fell. As I started to get back on the bored I felt a burning sensation in my toe. Felt like someone cut my toe with a hot piece of glass. I thought my skeg had somehow sliced my toe, its been known to happen. I pulled my foot out of the water to see blood just start pouring out, literally. Then I felt a stinging sensation get worse by the second. I went to the hospital to find out that I been attacked by a skate. Kinda like a sting ray but worse. The damn thing left 4 barbes in my foot. The Dr had to cut them out. Worse of all I could'nt get stitches cause of the amount of poision I had in my blood. To this day I have a huge scar inbetween my toes and the wound is still open on the inside.

-- Anonymous, November 04, 2002

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