The wife had curled up ready to go to sleep, and the husband put his bedside light on to read a book.

As he was reading, he paused, reached over and started fondling his wife's bits.

He did this only for a short while. Then he resumed reading his book.

He did this several times and his wife became gradually more aroused.

She thought her husband was seeking some sort of response as an encouragement to go further.

She got up, and stripped in front of him. The husband was confused by this behaviour.

He asked, "What are you doing? Why are you taking off your night shirt?"

The wife replied, "You were playing with me, I thought it was foreplay and that you wanted to make love tonight."

The husband said, "No, not at all."

The wife asked, "Then what the hell were you doing?"

The husband replied, "I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book."

Boom Boom ;))

-- Anonymous, July 07, 2000

Answers

Three major criminals - Al Capone, Ronnie Kray and Fred West - are in Hell, each waiting for their turn to be cast into the eternal flames. As a favour, Satan tells them that they can each have one last cold beer before being thrown into the fires Al Capone says, "I'd like a Budweiser, please". He is given the beer and drinks it before falling into the raging inferno. Ronnie Kray says, "I'd like some Fosters, please". He drinks his can of Fosters and then disappears into the furnace.

"What about you, Fred ?", asks the Devil.

"I could murder some Tennents", says Fred.

-- Anonymous, July 07, 2000