Match Number 6

19 September 1998, Coventry at Highfield Road, we won 5-1. An extraordinary game which really underlined the new approach from Gullit who was certainly not afraid to experiment. Coventry took a very early lead credited to Whelan (although Shearer actually put it in), and they seemed to be able to cut through us at will. Dabizas drew us level after 14 mins, but the sky blues kept making chances and Ruud let it go for 20 minutes before taking Nobby off who was playing in slow motion and brought on Gary Speed. We then went mad with Shearer and Speed both scoring before halftime and Glass scoring just before the hour mark and another Shearer effort right at the death. We got a bit carried away by this first away win in what felt like living memory, but Arsenal put us back in our places on our next excursion with a 3-0 thumping ('Toon lucky to get Nil' as Jonno put it).

Points Given 6 Pearce 2 Charvet 2 Watson 2 Dabizas 6 (goal) Lee 2 Glass 5 (goal) Gillespie 2 Barton 1 (sub) Solano 2 Speed 4 (sub and goal) Guivarc'h 5 (Joker!) Dalglish 1 (sub) Shearer 6 (2 goals)

Results: Match 6

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Wallsend Old Boys	4-3	Athletico Backworth
Woodstock County	1-0	Barton's Samba
Yelli's Yobs	3-1	Beardo United
MinesaS&N Academicals	1-0	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach
Pilgrim's Converts	2-1	Brewery Droopers United
Proper Lard Unathletic	1-4	Dabizas Pleazas
Steph's Superstars	2-0	Duncan's Disorderlies
Toon Goons	0-1	MacBeth's Marauders

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Spayne	0-2	Baxter Basics
The Gallowgate	1-7	Blaydon Racers
The Stellar Warriors	4-0	Carlisle United Revisited
Jessie's High Pants	3-0	Chevy's Choppers
Pete's Porkie Pies	1-3	Corinthian Smart-Casuals
Quantum Mechanicals	3-1	Dudley Boys
Real Zaragossy	4-2	Howdon Harriers
Screacher's Creatures	0-0	ITK Heaton World Beaters

BBS Notionless League Division 2

The Entertainers	0-0	Bewildered De Builders
Toon Gutter Snipes	5-0	Ceptic
Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	3-0	Doomed United
Real Seghill	7-0	Douglas All Boys (B) Team
Sexy Boys	0-2	FC Forget-Me-Nots
Shilbottle WMC	2-2	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts
SS Enterprise	3-3	Gallowgateaserai
Superstitious FC	1-2	Preston Big End

BBS Premier Corinthian League Table

Position	Team	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Pilgrim's Converts	6	0	0	23	3	20	18
2	Yelli's Yobs	5	1	0	20	10	10	16
3	Steph's Superstars	5	1	0	15	5	10	16
4	MinesaS&N Academicals	4	1	1	15	6	9	13
5	Brewery Droopers United	4	0	2	13	7	6	12
6	Woodstock County	3	1	2	11	8	3	10
7	Athletico Backworth	2	2	2	15	14	1	8
8	Beardo United	2	2	2	14	14	0	8
9	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	2	1	3	17	13	4	7
10	Proper Lard Unathletic	2	0	4	5	10	-5	6
11	Dabizas Pleazas	2	0	4	8	18	-10	6
12	Toon Goons	1	1	4	10	15	-5	4
13	MacBeth's Marauders	1	1	4	4	13	-9	4
14	Wallsend Old Boys	1	1	4	7	17	-10	4
15	Duncan's Disorderlies	1	0	5	3	13	-10	3
16	Barton's Samba	1	0	5	1	14	-13	3

BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table

Position	Team	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	The Stellar Warriors	4	2	0	20	9	11	14
2	Howdon Harriers	4	1	1	23	11	12	13
3	Quantum Mechanicals	4	1	1	13	7	6	13
4	Spayne	3	1	2	12	10	2	10
5	Jessie's High Pants	3	1	2	8	10	-2	10
6	Blaydon Racers	3	0	3	16	9	7	9
7	Screacher's Creatures	2	3	1	12	9	3	9
8	Carlisle United Revisited	2	3	1	13	11	2	9
9	ITK Heaton World Beaters	2	1	3	6	8	-2	7
10	Real Zaragossy	2	1	3	9	13	-4	7
11	Corinthian Smart-Casuals	2	1	3	6	12	-6	7
12	Dudley Boys	1	3	2	8	10	-2	6
13	Baxter Basics	2	0	4	7	12	-5	6
14	The Gallowgate	1	2	3	9	20	-11	5
15	Pete's Porkie Pies	1	1	4	3	9	-6	4
16	Chevy's Choppers	0	3	3	8	13	-5	3

BBS Notionless League Division 2 Table

Position	Team	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Preston Big End	5	1	0	16	5	11	16
2	The Entertainers	4	1	1	24	7	17	13
3	FC Forget-Me-Nots	4	1	1	11	9	2	13
4	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	3	3	0	18	6	12	12
5	Bewildered De Builders	2	4	0	16	11	5	10
6	Douglas All Boys (B) Team	3	1	2	16	20	-4	10
7	Shilbottle WMC	2	3	1	11	9	2	9
8	Real Seghill	2	2	2	13	9	4	8
9	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	2	1	3	7	13	-6	7
10	SS Enterprise	1	3	2	10	10	0	6
11	Ceptic	2	0	4	8	17	-9	6
12	Gallowgateaserai	1	2	3	6	10	-4	5
13	Superstitious FC	1	2	3	14	23	-9	5
14	Toon Gutter Snipes	1	1	4	9	9	0	4
15	Doomed United	1	1	4	6	13	-7	4
16	Sexy Boys	1	0	5	3	17	-14	3

Fixtures: Match 7

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Athletico Backworth	Vs	Woodstock County
Barton's Samba	Vs	Yelli's Yobs
Beardo United	Vs	MinesaS&N Academicals
Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	Vs	Pilgrim's Converts
Brewery Droopers United	Vs	Proper Lard Unathletic
Dabizas Pleazas	Vs	Steph's Superstars
Duncan's Disorderlies	Vs	Toon Goons
MacBeth's Marauders	Vs	Wallsend Old Boys

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Baxter Basics	Vs	The Gallowgate
Blaydon Racers	Vs	The Stellar Warriors
Carlisle United Revisited	Vs	Jessie's High Pants
Chevy's Choppers	Vs	Pete's Porkie Pies
Corinthian Smart-Casuals	Vs	Quantum Mechanicals
Dudley Boys	Vs	Real Zaragossy
Howdon Harriers	Vs	Screacher's Creatures
ITK Heaton World Beaters	Vs	Spayne

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Bewildered De Builders	Vs	Toon Gutter Snipes
Ceptic	Vs	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles
Doomed United	Vs	Real Seghill
Douglas All Boys (B) Team	Vs	Sexy Boys
FC Forget-Me-Nots	Vs	Shilbottle WMC
FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	Vs	SS Enterprise
Gallowgateaserai	Vs	Superstitious FC
Preston Big End	Vs	The Entertainers

Knocked off the top of Division 1, eh? You've not heard the last of this Real Zaragossy; you can expect a pretty hot reception at The Broon Bowl in the return fixture....bliddy ref, what a Homer!

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2000

Answers

Hi Softie,

Hope you had a good Birthday. I see you're back to business as usual. Your efficiency is amazing. Have you found a quick way to do the calculations or was the excitement of being TOTL getting to you? :o))

Must have been some high points scorers this week. What was the average - around 30?

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2000

Another workmanlike performance from FC Forget-me-nots Football Club tonight. We had a tough job to do playing away and we did everything - and more- that we needed to do. I don't like playing away. You never know when you might get caught. Just ask Little Kevin Dyer if you don't believe me.

I thought we had a comfortable win against the Sex Toys who weren't able to keep it up all evening. You know something; there's an air of enjoyment coming back to Langley Park and that's what its all about you know. It's been a long time and time flies like nobody's business and fruit flies like a banana.

I told the lads after the game that they could have the rest of the evening off but I expect them in on time tomorrow with their shoes polished and their hair neat and tidy. We must be at our best when we entertain the Worthless Men's Club.

I see Little Young Kev Herrod's lot lost at home again tonight. Tee hee. They're looking more and more like Watford did last year and Young Little Kev is turning more and more like that cabbage Graeme Tailor. They'll be scrapping with Sex Toys for the bottom slot soon.

Beddy-byes.

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2000

Eeeh. They call me an old fart. Well if that's the case what should we call Pilgrim? What a sad old git. And that's only me. Get a life Pil Boy. Get out more. I know a good place we can play bingo and have a game of doms. And they don't allow bedspreadsheets. It's Grab-a-Groanner night on Thursday. Will you be there?

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2000

Wey-hey!!! Stellar Warriors are having a good start to the season! However, we must keep focused and not count any chickens!!! Especially after last seasons bitter experience of being pipped at the post by your own kith and kin!(:o)

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

Average was about 28 with quite a small range between results except in Div 2, so the results were tighter than usual.

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

Not at all happy with this season so far....especially having that incontinent old fart above me!!

There'd better be an upturn in fortunes soon or else I'll be taking some of the players out back and shooting them......

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

Hello Robby,

Glad you're taking an interest in my welfare. I could just about manage a game of Doms on Thursday. As you've said many times the table doesn't lie - it gets laid - and you've got to feel sorry for the chicken.

Saw you're pics from the Stag 5-a-side. I realise now that you remind me, not of Les Battersby, but of Finney.

That's Finney Haddock - flat, greasy, sweaty, bony and no movement!

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

I've forgotten who I've picked. Softie, will you be a love and email me my team selection?

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

I'm trying to forget who I've picked! I think an early season team morale building trip to La Manga is in order. Though some of the players have mentioned Ayia Napia(??). hmmmm....

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

Wheheyee... In a stunning turn-around in form my lads finally get on the board and totally wipe out the negative goal difference as well. I knew I hated those early year picks.

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000