Couldn't find the original thread for these, but a selection of recent "Colemanballs" from Private Eye:

"The tide is very much in our court now." KEVIN KEEGAN

"There's a little triangle -- five left-footed players." RON ATKINSON(ITV)

"We have spent three matches chasing a football." KEVIN KEEGAN

"Two-nil was a dangerous lead to have..." PETER BEARDSLEY (ITV)

"As the seconds tick down, Belgium are literally playing in time that doesn't exist." Commentator? (ITV)

"A smoked salmon sandwich of a football match if ever there has been one." PETER DRURY (ITV)

"There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who definitely won't be playing tomorrow." KEVIN KEEGAN

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2000

Answers

From last night's final (apparently - I was watching ITV).

"We had some memmorable touches from totty" MOTTY. Or was it Motti?

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2000