A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."

The man thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?" So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. In other words, he goes to a rabbi. The rabbi ponders the question, then states, " My son, sex is definitely play." The man replies, "rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?" The rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it."

__________________________________________

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), June 30, 2000

Answers

I've heard worse, Lars, but can't remember when. That was pretty bad.

-- KoFE (your@town.USA), June 30, 2000.

KoFE--

Thanks. I thought I'd start a bad joke thread. Anything to get away from the cpr thing.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), June 30, 2000.

Reminds me of the old one-liner (Woody Allen?)

Q-Is sex dirty?

A-Only if it's good sex

-- (nemesis@awol.com), June 30, 2000.

Or Woody's line from Sleeper, when he woke up from a 200 year slumber:

"You know, I haven't had sex for 200 years. 204 if you count my marriage."

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), June 30, 2000.

A man goes in to see his doctor.

"You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again?"

"I'm 78," the man said.

"78?" asked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60-year-old."

"Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off, and I would go outside to settle down," the man explained.

"What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor.

"I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."

(Well, you did say "bad joke".)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), June 30, 2000.

Bravo Patricia!

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), June 30, 2000.

Did someone say BAD joke thread?

Rodeo Sex

Two cowboys were sitting in a bar when one asked his friend if he had heard of the new sex position called "rodeo." His friend says: "no, what is it?"

"Well, you mount your wife from the back, reach around and cup her breasts with both hands. Then say, 'boy, these are almost as nice as your sisters'."

Then see if you can hold on for 8 seconds.

-- Debra (!!!!@!!!!.com), July 01, 2000.

Nice idea for a thread, Lars. As I am completely without humor I have no jokes to add to the mix, so I'll sit back & ROTFL.

Debra, LOL! BTW, I'll be supplying all your beer for you in LV. No need to leave the hotel room. Deal? ;^)

-- Bingo1 (howe9@shentel.net), July 01, 2000.