Match Number 4

26 December 1997, Derby County away...we lost 1-0 to an Eranio penalty in the fourth minute and Batty got sent off in the second half. I will let the wonderful lineup speak for itself.

Points Hislop 1 Beresford 1 (booked) Batty 0 (sent off) Howey 2 Barnes 1 (sub) Rush 2 Asprilla 1 (sub) Pearce 1 (booked) Tomasson 1 (booked) Ketsbaia 1 (sub) Gillespie 2 Watson 2 Hamilton 2 Pistone 2

Results: Match 4

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Steph's Superstars	2-2	Athletico Backworth
Toon Goons	3-0	Barton's Samba
Wallsend Old Boys	2-2	Beardo United
Woodstock County	2-3	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach
Yelli's Yobs	3-2	Brewery Droopers United
MinesaS&N Academicals	5-0	Dabizas Pleazas
Pilgrim's Converts	4-0	Duncan's Disorderlies
Proper Lard Unathletic	1-0	MacBeth's Marauders

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Real Zaragossy	3-1	Baxter Basics
Screacher's Creatures	2-1	Blaydon Racers
Spayne	2-2	Carlisle United Revisited
The Gallowgate	2-2	Chevy's Choppers
The Stellar Warriors	3-0	Corinthian Smart-Casuals
Jessie's High Pants	1-1	Dudley Boys
Pete's Porkie Pies	0-1	Howdon Harriers
Quantum Mechanicals	2-0	ITK Heaton World Beaters

BBS Notionless League Division 2

SS Enterprise	2-2	Bewildered De Builders
Superstitious FC	1-4	Ceptic
The Entertainers	3-0	Doomed United
Toon Gutter Snipes	1-2	Douglas All Boys (B) Team
Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	1-1	FC Forget-Me-Nots
Real Seghill	2-2	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts
Sexy Boys	2-0	Gallowgateaserai
Shilbottle WMC	2-2	Preston Big End

Considering the heinous historical team selection, high scorers should feel suitably ashamed of themselves and enjoy their doubtlessly short moment in the sun...;-)

BBS Premier Corinthian League Table

Position	Team	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Pilgrim's Converts	4	0	0	18	2	16	12
2	MinesaS&N Academicals	3	1	0	13	3	10	10
3	Steph's Superstars	3	1	0	11	4	7	10
4	Yelli's Yobs	3	1	0	12	6	6	10
5	Brewery Droopers United	3	0	1	9	4	5	9
6	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	2	1	1	14	7	7	7
7	Beardo United	2	1	1	11	9	2	7
8	Woodstock County	2	0	2	8	6	2	6
9	Proper Lard Unathletic	2	0	2	4	6	-2	6
10	Athletico Backworth	1	2	1	9	9	0	5
11	Toon Goons	1	1	2	9	11	-2	4
12	Dabizas Pleazas	1	0	3	4	14	-10	3
13	MacBeth's Marauders	0	1	3	2	11	-9	1
14	Wallsend Old Boys	0	1	3	3	13	-10	1
15	Duncan's Disorderlies	0	0	4	2	11	-9	0
16	Barton's Samba	0	0	4	0	13	-13	0

Pilgrim and Barton continue their 100% records...

BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table

Position	Team	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Howdon Harriers	3	1	0	18	5	13	10
2	Quantum Mechanicals	3	1	0	8	3	5	10
3	The Stellar Warriors	2	2	0	14	8	6	8
4	Spayne	2	1	1	9	7	2	7
5	Carlisle United Revisited	1	3	0	9	6	3	6
6	Blaydon Racers	2	0	2	8	5	3	6
7	Screacher's Creatures	1	2	1	8	8	0	5
8	Dudley Boys	1	2	1	7	7	0	5
9	The Gallowgate	1	2	1	7	9	-2	5
10	Real Zaragossy	1	1	2	5	10	-5	4
11	Jessie's High Pants	1	1	2	4	10	-6	4
12	Corinthian Smart-Casuals	1	1	2	3	10	-7	4
13	Chevy's Choppers	0	3	1	7	8	-1	3
14	ITK Heaton World Beaters	1	0	3	5	8	-3	3
15	Baxter Basics	1	0	3	4	8	-4	3
16	Pete's Porkie Pies	1	0	3	2	6	-4	3

I have not rigged the game...honest...I just know the data well enough to pick a useful side...uh, I'm only making it worse, aren't I?

BBS Notionless League Division 2 Table

Position	Team	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Preston Big End	3	1	0	11	3	8	10
2	The Entertainers	3	0	1	19	7	12	9
3	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	2	2	0	11	4	7	8
4	Bewildered De Builders	2	2	0	12	7	5	8
5	Shilbottle WMC	2	1	1	9	7	2	7
6	Douglas All Boys (B) Team	2	1	1	13	13	0	7
7	FC Forget-Me-Nots	2	1	1	8	9	-1	7
8	Ceptic	2	0	2	8	7	1	6
9	SS Enterprise	1	2	1	6	4	2	5
10	Real Seghill	1	2	1	6	8	-2	5
11	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	1	1	2	4	10	-6	4
12	Superstitious FC	1	1	2	9	17	-8	4
13	Gallowgateaserai	1	0	3	3	7	-4	3
14	Sexy Boys	1	0	3	3	10	-7	3
15	Toon Gutter Snipes	0	1	3	4	7	-3	1
16	Doomed United	0	1	3	4	10	-6	1

Dougal falls to the foot of the table and Pit Bill stuggles to join her, which is just the way our resident optimists like it :-) Horrified to see Ceptic doing so well...shouldn't be possible: come on you lot, sort them out!!!

Fixtures: Match 5

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Athletico Backworth	Vs	Toon Goons
Barton's Samba	Vs	Wallsend Old Boys
Beardo United	Vs	Woodstock County
Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	Vs	Yelli's Yobs
Brewery Droopers United	Vs	MinesaS&N Academicals
Dabizas Pleazas	Vs	Pilgrim's Converts
Duncan's Disorderlies	Vs	Proper Lard Unathletic
MacBeth's Marauders	Vs	Steph's Superstars

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Baxter Basics	Vs	Screacher's Creatures
Blaydon Racers	Vs	Spayne
Carlisle United Revisited	Vs	The Gallowgate
Chevy's Choppers	Vs	The Stellar Warriors
Corinthian Smart-Casuals	Vs	Jessie's High Pants
Dudley Boys	Vs	Pete's Porkie Pies
Howdon Harriers	Vs	Quantum Mechanicals
ITK Heaton World Beaters	Vs	Real Zaragossy

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Bewildered De Builders	Vs	Superstitious FC
Ceptic	Vs	The Entertainers
Doomed United	Vs	Toon Gutter Snipes
Douglas All Boys (B) Team	Vs	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles
FC Forget-Me-Nots	Vs	Real Seghill
FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	Vs	Sexy Boys
Gallowgateaserai	Vs	Shilbottle WMC
Preston Big End	Vs	SS Enterprise

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Answers

Another steady performance from my team today. We managed to take a point off Nagarams Unlimited and their manager Nosh.

Next up we have a clash of the new kids on the block when we entertain Real Seghill at Langley Park. This promises to be a tremendous bottle for the old farts and for once I can welcome somebody who has been around in the game for longer than me. Juano and I go back a long way and we both know we have a long way to go. The only difference nowadays is that we don't have to go by pit pony anymore. Ee I remember those days with fondness. Young lads these days don't know what like was like for us in those days.

I see Young Kevin Herrod's lot are still struggling, losing at home to Cesspit. Poetic judgement if you are lucky to be able to remember he laughed at my unfortune episode the other evening. I think the writing will be on the wall soon for Super Tit Sucks.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

I'm starting to like this league.

It must have been the 5 magpies I saw this morning.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Them Quantum Mechanicals cheat yi kna.....thi keep deeing Qutantum Leaps ower me defedners like......a niva did like that Brunel fella.....bit of a bridge to far if yi ask me......

MAM....thi pills are wearin off again MAM

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000