Would you switch genders if you could? Or maybe gender is the wrong word -- I mean, if you could have one of Columbine's mythical "instant sex changes," would you do it? What are the worst things about your sex? The best things? To the women: would it be worth having a penis if you could stop having periods? To the men: would it be worth having periods if you could get some of that multiple orgasm action?

Who has it better, men or women? Why?

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Answers

I guess I'm biased to this.

I'm on Depo Provera which means that I haven't had a period since that nasty supersize one after the birth of my daughter. (And really, I don't want to get into a birth control flame war here - I know a lot of people *do not* like depo, but for me it has been absolutely fantastic. Wonderful. I am in a monogamous relationship with no STD's and depo is the best birth control I've ever used. I'm in the minority with my satisfaction, but for me it's been awesome).

The point of all of this is that, apart from the occasional breakthrough bleeding, I haven't had a serious period in 2 1/2 years. That said, I -love- being a woman. I was watching my husband get dressed the other morning and I said, "god I'm glad I'm a woman. You are so vulnerable -- all your parts are just hanging out there. Mine are tucked up nice and neat -- safe and protected."

I also think women are -just more attractive.-

So, nope, I wouldn't change - even if it was instantaneous, painless and reversible. I like my

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

body.

That last sentence (which got cut off) was: "I like my body."

..... tess

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Not to be nitpicky... but it's interesting to consider the different ramifications of switching *genders* vs. switching *sexes*. Frankly, I like my genital parts just the way they are, and gender, for me, isn't meaningful enough a differentiation to really worry about the consequences of making a switch.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Hell yeah!

If I could have a penis for one day or one week or something I would definitely, without hesitation, do it.

It has very little to do with a lack of menstruation and everything to do with figuring it out.

I mean...wow! It would be great to know what all that action feels like from a "his" perspective. Surely I'm not the only one who wants to know what an orgasm of the opposite sex is like.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

I'm no good at being a girl. I hang out with guys, wear their clothes, talk like them, and I'm interested in cars. Not makeup. Not boyfriends. (Well, usually not.) In fact, the only girly thing I do is have my period. I'd *KILL* to get rid of it, it's such a pain in the ass.

I'd change for a day, sure. I'd like to see what it would be like. But I like being different, you know? The little girl who hangs out with guys and *doesn't* flirt. And doesn't think it's the end of the world if she gets a little muddy.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

I don't know about switching -- but maybe if I could split into two genders, then I could fuck myself. Sounds weird and narcissistic, I suppose, but I look at it as all the fun with out all the problems of trying to get along with a different person.

(Also, I could go on Jerry Springer)

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

I love being a woman. I have no desire to walk around town with a penis or other traits specific to the male gender. I love my makeup and hairsprays and perfumes. I couldn't give up the 45 lip glosses in my desk drawer and the bottles of spray-on glitter in the bathroom. Face it: being a girl rocks!

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

I don't know about switching -- but maybe if I could split into two genders, then I could fuck myself.

Cory, I have to admit that this was the funniest thing I've heard this entire month. I'm still laughing over your post. Thanks for making me smile this afternoon!

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

You know, I once heard that a typical response of female engineers to surveys about gender roles is, "There's women and there's men - and then there's me and I'm different."

I'm different. And I wouldn't mind doing the temporary sex change thing if I could be a gay male, since revising my bathroom habits *and* my attraction patterns might be a bit too much learning for 15 minutes. I also wouldn't mind going to live in a Left Hand of Darkness society where everyone was the same gender. It would be an incredible leveler when dealing with, for instance, meeting leaders who won't schedule breaks long enough to change a tampon in.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Yes, I would.

I've always wanted to be male. I hate being female. I guess there are some perks I take for granted, like not having to prove myself. Men tell me about all these rules like "don't stare at another guy because that's a challenge" and stuff like that.

Stuff I've always thought men had better: Having a penis. No periods. Not being the object of attraction when you're doing something like walking down the street. Easier orgasms. Being bigger & having bigger muscles. Not being physically afraid all the time. Getting to open the curtains and run the projector and other stuff at my grammar school, circa 1962. Getting to play intermural sports at my high school, circa 1970. That male confidence & entitlement that so many of them have (that's socialization, I know, but I'd sure like it). Not having as horrible body image & eating problems.

Stuff women have better: Not having to prove ourselves in quite such stupid ways. Lack of male pattern baldness. Lack of facial & body hair. Getting to be pregnant & breast feed.

Not every woman has multiple orgasms. I don't know what the percentage is but many sexually active women have never had one...

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Hell yes, I'd do it. I'd masturbate, walk down the street staring obnoxiously at pretty women, adjust myself constantly, take up too much room on the bus, spit while talking to my co-workers, look at porn, masturbate some more, have sex, eat crappy food for dinner, look at porn, look at porn, look at porn...

I wouldn't want to do it for more than a day, though, 'cause I don't think I'd care for carrying one o' those penises around. It seems like they'd get in the way a lot.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

I find it interesting that some of the women find that the penis would get in the way. I would find breasts -- mid to large ones, mind you -- to be a major obstruction in my daily tasks. I guess it's a matter of what you are used to.

With that said, sure, I'd switch for a day or more. As long as I had the option to go back to the male side of the pendulum when I chose to. I think it would make anyone more well-rounded and knowledgeable if they had to switch for, say, like one week per year. There would probably be more understanding of each other in the long run. But, if it was a one way ticket, I don't think I would do it.

I would like to experience those multiple orgasms though... you betcha! (spoken like a true man, I hear you say)

Currently radiating from Iodine 131 at The Road Trip

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Sure, I'd love to know what it's like to be a guy.

Among other things, I'd like to know if they really can't find anything in the refrigerator or see dirt. I'd stop nagging if I knew for certain.

I think I'd miss wearing comfy cool dresses in the summer, but maybe going topless would make up for it.

I'd like not ever having another guy stare at my nipples when I'm cold as if it were unknown phenomena. I'd like not having to wear a bra.

It might take a while before I stopped giggling at my penis. I appreciate them and all, but they have some odd behaviors. I don't think I'd like the whole aiming at the toilet thing. I was recently privy to a guy conversation on this topic, and there are angles to this I'd never even considered.

I'd like to be a guy 3-4 days a month (Drop me a line sometime, Auntie Flo! Don't forget to take your cramps with you!), but be able to wear dresses and sit down to pee. Unless he's keeping something from me, my boyfriend would have to suddenly develop homosexual leanings. And I'd have to look more manly than I do, or I'd get a complex.

Hey, as long as I'm dreamin', why not have a multiple-orgasm-equipped penis!

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

I'm with Jackie, I'd *love* to be a man for a day - my partner and I have talked about this alot, how much fun it would be to swap bodies for a day and see what sex feels like for the other one. Also, I'd love to see how people would interact with me - the same me - but as a guy.

Just for a day though. My identity is pretty tied up with being a woman, and I'm quite happy with it. Chris feels the same way (but with being a man).

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

No. Well, maybe. Normally I'm fairly happy being a bloke, but I'll admit that I could be interested to find out what it's like to masturbate with a totally different set of genitals. Only so much a penis can do, after all

-- Anonymous, July 01, 2000

I'd like to switch for long enough to see exactly how differently people would treat me if I were a man. It hasn't got anything to do with the genitals for me, if I can deal with breasts, I think I could adjust to having a penis. For me it's more about getting a better grasp of the difference in mindset. I've always felt that girls and women get the short end of the stick in this world. I'd like to have a chance to know what it's like to be in a position where it is considered acceptable to have power. I want to know what that feels like.

If you knew me well, you would find that have very strong opinions and I can be relatively agressive in my expression of those opinions and in my insistence on sticking to logical arguments. I think women who are like this are seen as strident or pushy/bitchy and are not taken seriously by either men or women and, in addition, they are classified as being rude and insensitive by other women.

So I'd like to see if it'd be more comfortable to put my brain in the body of a man. Would I'd like it better or not?

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2000

I would love to be a man just for a day or two.

I want to know what it feels like to have a penis. Of course my husband would have to switch for the day as well. Imagine the fun that could be had!

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2000

cory, I suppose it would be just another kind of power struggle...more intense, and maybe even more unpleasant....hmmmmm....still I'd like to experience the difference.

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2000

When I think of gender, I don't think of sexual equipment, or the mechanics of having sex, or of the side-effects of having this plumbing versus that.

I think of the rights and obligations we impose on ourselves by accepting the definitions we are taught, growing up. Or by not accepting them, fighting them. Kicking at the traces.

I am conscious of being a man, don't want to be female, and don't feel particularly uncomfortable with being male.

Yet there are many male things I do not do, can't relate to, and look down on. Almost everything men do in groups. As manly men.

To me, the essence of manhood is not being like all the other fellows, and it's a rare man who can carry it off, with grace and class. Without straining, or looking silly.

You are the target of less privileged groups, and it's okay to screw you over, because you aren't organized, and won't squawk.

You bear it on out, stoically. Even to the edge of doom, as Shakespeare says.

I wouldn't mind, for a day, not having to be a man. But the re-entry would be hard.

I feel like I can't let my guard down, at all. Too many dangers out there, lurking.

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2000

I want to see what it's like to have sex from a man's point of view. Genderwise, this is all I have interest in when it comes to being a male. But it'd sure be nice to take advantage of the mental stuff that men get (that others have mentioned). I'd love to be able to walk down a street alone late at night without dread fear of rape, big time.

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

I love being a girl, but heck yeah, I'd go for the switch, if it could be as easily reversed.

I've always wanted to know how sex would feel from the other end of the stick. ;)

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

Nope.

Not permanently anyway. It might be interesting for just 24 hours, just to get the perspective from the other side.

But I don't think I could deal with having that much testosterone running around in my system.

I wish periods weren't quite so inconvenient, but I've gotten a lot more blase about them as I've gotten older. I used to be embarrassed by it, but I'm not anymore.

So I guess the whole penis vs. periods thing works out to no -- I'd rather deal with my period than having to get used to a dangly thing with a mind of its own hanging between my legs.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

I would only want to be a woman for the three minutes it takes to flirt your way out of that traffic citation.

"Oh I was? Gee, I'm SO sorry officer, I'll be more careful from now on... a warning? Oh, yes sir, you have a nice day too."

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

It would be nice not to have to wait in tremendously long lines for the bathroom. Or to just walk behind a bush and not have to squat. Especially at concerts and outdoor festivals. (I'm posting this after spending the day on the mall in Washington DC for the 4th of July celebration. You didn't see long lines of MEN waiting for the port-a-pot!)

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

It would be worth the pain of labor, menstruation, etc., if I could get pregnant, have a baby, and nurse it. (But I wouldn't want to do it all in just one day... :-)

In most of the jobs that I've had, the majority of my co-workers have been women, so I'm not sure how much a gender switch would hurt me economically.

I'd be intrigued to find out, from the inside, what women's social networks are like. (When I read Margaret Atwood's Cat's Eye, I thought: "The relationships between these female characters ... this is so beyond my experience with my friends, it's like SF.")

On the other hand ... I've spent the last thirty years or so learning my culture's arcane and arbitrary rules for Proper Male Behavior, and in particular, deciding which violations of the rules would have social consequences that I care about. I have no interest in repeating the process for Proper Female Behavior.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

if i could be Karin Mulder or Selma Blair or Milla Jovovich for a day, then...certainly. I'd find out how it feels to be beautiful, to dress to seduce and provoke, to have people fall all over me to buy me drinks...and then I'd find some upscale lipstick lesbian bar and use my beauty to acquire girls in a way and on a scale that I can't as a guy.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

I'd only be interested in switching genders if I could also move into an established woman's life. What I mean is, simply waking up one morning in my house but as a woman really wouldn't give me much opportunity to anything new. But if I woke up in someone else's house, as a female litigation associate, say, so that I could go to her job and do it well enough not to raise questions, then that would be interesting. But you know, it would really freak me out if people were talking to my chest. I'd probably be all inappropriate and smack someone.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000