IMHO, this is one of Twain's funniest, and a classic. Print this one out and take it to the beach with ya...

The Awful German Language

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), June 28, 2000

Answers

Eve:

You DO have a way with hitting topics when they're discussed in other avenues of life.

My youngest is finishing his high-school years in Illinois right now. He's moving into his 4th year of German. I E-mail him jokes in German almost daily so he can practice. I omit the translation on those E-mails. He had a hard time deciphering the one about Altzheimers. There were three reasons listed regarding benefits of Altzheimers. He couldn't decipher 1 and 3, which were identical: "You can hide your own Easter eggs."

A few weeks ago, he began complaining about his name. We call him Tor. He said, "Tor, in German means gate, goal, or fool. I hope you two didn't know German when you named me." I said, "Well, your name isn't REALLY Tor, it's TorSTEN." Next E-mail: "sten" just means EST in German, so now I'm foolEST.

He was the LAST of my kids that I thought would complain about his name, but I continued. "You're NOT German. You're of Scandinavian descent...Norwegian mother.....Swedish father. Scandinavians see Tor as 'God of Thunder.' Here's a link demonstrating how many children in the U.S. were born with your name: [results showed 0], DEMONSTRATING how popular your name IS in this country."

Sometimes I agree with Carol Burnett(sp?) who said that teens should be hooked up to a C.D. player when they turn 14, put into suspended animation and awakened when they're 20 or so.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), June 28, 2000.

From: Preparations, ` la Carte, by Dancr (pic), near Monterey, California

He did one of these to French, too.

-- Dancr (addy.available@my.webpage), June 30, 2000.

eve:

Thanks for this so much! My wife speaks fluent German, having grown up there, and she couldn't see the humor. She tried to teach me, and for several months I grappled with this stuff before despairing. The cases (and therefore the declensions) were worse than memorizing the genders. At least I wasn't trying to learn Finnish (Suomi), with a somewhat different alphabet and SEVENTEEN cases.

-- Flint (flintc@mindspring.com), June 30, 2000.

I'm glad you guys liked this piece.

Anita,

Funny stuff; and I agree with Burnett. In fact, I've already got the Yellow Pages out, open to "S", where in a minute I'll be running my finger down the page looking for Suspended Animation Services...

Dancr,

I didn't know he did a French bit. What's the title?

Flint,

I laughed when I read that your wife couldn't find anything funny about it. But of course! It's all become a natural part of her.

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), June 30, 2000.

From: Preparations, ` la Carte, by Dancr (pic), near Monterey, California

The Jumping Frog: In English, then in French, then Clawed Back into a Civilized Language Once More by Patient, Unremunerated Toil, by Mark Twain

-- Dancr (addy.available@my.webpage), July 01, 2000.

Thanks, Dancr. I knew about the Jumping Frog, but I'd been only very marginally aware of this version. At first pass, it looks pretty cool.

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), July 01, 2000.