Y'all know how obsessed I am with these sorts of questions... it was only a matter of time before I posted one.

You're to be stranded on a desert (deserted, too) island with one celebrity. Which one would you prefer it to be?

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Answers

Oops, and I meant to say "and why?"

I will tentatively answer with Steven Malkmus from Pavement, but I reserve the right to steal y'all's answers later. My answer has no explanation.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

You know this is one of the questions I really wish I could cheat on, cause lets face it you have your intelectual yet beddable celebrities, you have you hunk-a-gimme celebrities and of course then you have your 'funny in order to make the long winter evenings fly' celebrities...

I think I'd pick Ed Norton th [Although beware Ed, Jarvis Cocker is nipping at your heels for the Mr. Coconut title]

Denise

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Jarvis Cocker? He'd have a huge advantage over you, since being on a desert island would in no way hamper his already negligent personal hygiene habits.

Anyway...a straight Rupert Everett, but only if he was no longer under the illusion that Madonna isn't annoying.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Man, I sure do like Kate Winslet. But......... I think I'll say Eddi Reader (yes, she's a woman named Eddi - it's short for Edina). She's a singer from Scotland. I first heard her in a band called Fairground Attraction, one of my top 5 bands of all time. She's been solo for several years now. Why? A few reasons - she's lovely to look at, and she's absolutely my favorite singer, practically ever, and I'm sure her speaking voice is heavily accented and I've always dug Scottish accents.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Do over! I totally change my answer to Adrian Anthony Gill, aka A A Gill, aka my not-so-secret boyfriend and the writer I've been stalking for a year. I now know two people who are close friends of his (and Salman Rushdie, but I'd never stalk him), so this desert island scenario could someday be reality...

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

John Cusack. I had a nightmare last night that he was retiring from acting. the horror....

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

John Prine, with his guitar.

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

Harrison Ford. "What about Simon LeBon??" you ask? Trust me... I'd have to kill him within minutes. The island ain't big enough for me AND Simon's ego....

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

First baseman for the New York Yankess, Tino Martinez. He would get a home run on his first at bat with me! He's big a strong too, so he could make me a little bungalo and a bed made out of palms.

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

Nobody better make fun of me. I'm young, OK? I'm just saying this. I don't have to pretend to like old guys like Harrison Ford to be accepted in a forum.

Tobey Maguire. I don't need any flak, please.

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

Not that Harrison Ford isn't perfectly fine looking. No offense.

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

Seth Green. Cause I'm a sucker for a skinny boy. Feel the love!

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

Mallory, I have a dirty-old-woman fetish for a particular Young Boy, too... if Harrison is unavailable, I'd gladly accept Prince William as my island companion. Oh, the lust in my heart....

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

Oooh, Seth Green! I love that guy, I was drooling all through Austin Powers 2 when his hair was blue! And Prince Wills, yummy. I can't choose! And I do have this very naughty secret cruch on Eminem (I'm sorry!) All of the above for the same reason, I'm shallow :)

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

Duh, you guys! Russell Crowe, of course! Because not only is he a ridiculously, incredibly fine hunk o'testosterone, but I have an inkling that his survival skills are probably better than mine.

Truly a hunter-gatherer male. I'm old-fashioned, what can I say?

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

Michael Stipe. Mmmm baby.

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

Neal Stephenson (author of "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" and currently in real danger of being stalked by Me). Mmmmmm, alpha geek! And the stories he could tell!

If he's unavailable, then I'd have to say Edward Norton because he's all fine like that.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

Oh, I forgot Seth Green...I need a bigger island.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

1. Can't we have a himrem? (What do you call a male harem?) It's so hard to choose.

2. Stop shattering my illusions about Jarvis. (When you just look at photos, you can't smell him.)

3.a. Can we be stranded in a luxury hotel with a whirlpool and amenities and room service instead?

3.b. I think if the island was anything like the one in Survivor, then I'd just want a person who can make a seaworthy boat. I might eat a fried rat if it was that or starve, but I'm not goin' anywhere near live grubs or coconuts. Nuh-UH. So, uh, Bob Vila? (Not that he's gettin' any ... I'm not totally ignorant to the subtext of this question! ;) ) We'd be out of there all Kon-Tiki-fied in mere hours, believe you me.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

I definetly have to agree...John Cusack..I've always had a thing for him since "Say Anything"!!

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

I have to say the comedian Eddie Izzard: he can talk girl stuff, boy stuff, he wears everyone's clothes (and I can wear his!) he's the funniest man alive, he can talk endlessly about history, etc. and is very sexy. Plus we can use his stilletos to spear fish!

Gwen, find out about him, girl! You'll love him!

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2000

Barb, If you don't mind sharing, could you please pass that hot, hot man over to my island every other day? I loves me some Russell Crowe!

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

Oh lordy, Ricky Martin. Yes I know he might be gay but I am choosing to ignore that possibility.

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2000