According to this piece in today's Sunday Mirror, the Munchkin really has got the very firmest of grips on the principles of teamwork, team spirit and team morale.

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FOOTBALL: PHILLIPS: I'M GLAD I MISSED IT

SUNDERLAND striker Kevin Phillips has admitted he was relieved not to have been part of the England first team that came under fierce criticism following their exit from Euro 2000.

Phillips has talked of his despair, hurt and emotional trauma of not making the team.

But following widespread criticism aimed at the players and boss Kevin Keegan, Phillips, who has fled the country to be with his family just two days after the team arrived back home said: "Given everything that has happened, the criticism that the players and managers have received, I'm glad I had no part in it all.

"A great deal that was written about our performance in Euro 2000 has upset most of those involved. I would hate to be part of that."

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We're glad you weren't involved as well you ungrateful little tw@t.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Answers

These two pieces from the News of the World

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>NEWCASTLE and Leeds are locked in a #6million battle to sign England Under-21 star Carl Cort

Bobby Robsons Geordies are favourites to sign the Wimbledon striker. But they face stiff opposition from the Elland Road outfit, who want the Wimbledon striker to form a dream partnership with Aussie ace Mark Viduka.

Leeds boss David OLeary is hoping to seal a #7m swoop for Celtic hitman Viduka, 24, this week.

Cort, 22, confirmed: "My agent has told me there is interest from Leeds and two other clubs.

"I dont mind moving from London, the offers are flattering."<<<<<<<<

and

>>>>>NEWCASTLE have turned down a bid from Fulham for Gary Speed, 30. Toon chairman Freddy Shepherd confirmed he has spoken with the First Division club, but did not even ask how much they were prepared to pay for the Welsh international.

Shepherd said: "It must have been the shortest phone call on record. "Gary Speed is one of the last players we want to leave St James Park."<<<<<<<<<<<<<

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Can the papers or Bobby make their mind up about Carl Cort. This is the third time we have been linked to him. Previously, the first link was denied by the papers saying we weren't in the running after saying we were interested. The second link was denied by Bobby, quoted in a couple of places saying he wasn't interested in Cort, after it was speculated that we had actually made a bid.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Just to irritate you further Tre, the local Sunday Sun has Br interested (again) in Richard Wright, who they say now seems certain to leave Ipswich, and also say Joa Pinto hasn't yet ruled out a move to The Toon!!.
They reckon Celtic and Chelsea have already inquired about Wright, but that the BR/YKD connection might just work in the Toon's favour.
They reckon he will go for #4-5mm - I'd be amazed if he left for less than the #8mm manure paid for Barthes, and at this level I'm afraid you can almost certainly forget the Toon. The only hope is that i) Wright really wanted to come here, AND ii) Ipswich really fancied taking Given in part exchange and valued at say #3mm.
These repetitive/recycled stories are tiresome, but you never know.......

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Hey Munchkin. You weren;t part of it 'cos you weren't good enough. Tw@t.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Carl Cort may just be the english Duncan Ferguson something I joked about on the old BBS. He'd be a good foil for Shearer but should we really be building the side around Shearer we need to look beyond that, after all we are unlikely to challenge for much in the next season or so, we maight as well do a Spurs and buy a load of very good 19-19 year olds for the future and make do with what we've got for the time being. PS Usually the chat on Talk Sport is just a lot of band wagon jumping but yesterday they seamed unaminous that Wor Kev would never leave out Young Kieron Dyer from his team, about time someone noted the glaring ommision from the squad.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

agree about the Shearer thing. We should try and extend his career and rest him from time to time but should not be building a team around him.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

I can think of 30 reasons last season why playing with a classic centre forward isn't a bad way to design your team.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Phillips is a right little pr.ck, isn't he? Can't bear him. "Ooh, I'm glad I didn't play cos I wouldn't have liked to have been slagged off in the papers". Sound just like Andy Cole (who said the exact same thing). Cowardly little oik.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Keegan's a right huffy sod you know and if he's read what the Mackem had to say, he might just say, "Well screw you then sunshine. I won't pick you again.".

As for Cort; let Leeds United have him and we'll have Bridges! I know he's a Mackem b@$&#%d but the kid's class.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Isn't Bridges a Toon fan ? He got started @ SOS and then got a move away. He'll be less than Cort and then won't be able to score against us as well - Yep he'd do just as well - If Leeds do get Viduka & Cort then Bridges must be up for sale.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

After the season Bridges had, I don't think Leeds will be selling him. Bridges and Cort were the two most successful young English strikers last season.

However I am wondering how Leeds are going to play next season. They have Bridges and Kewel. They want to add Viduka, which has been confirmed from all three respective parties; Leeds, Celtic and Player + Agent. And know are being linked with Cort. Where does that leave young Alan Smith.

Plus Leeds know they will lose both Kewel and Viduka when the Olympics are on and when they are called up to Australia's world cup qualifying games.

Oh know I can see why Leeds would need to keep Bridges, and sign Cort up as well.

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

Micheal Bridges is from Whitley Bay and I believe was a Toon fan before he signed for the mackems. However last season he came up with that curious comment "I'm not a Geordie"!
The Seaham air must have damaged his brain.

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000