Do you piss people off online? : LUSENET : like sands : One Thread

Do you seem to find yourself constantly involved in one flame war or another? Do you do it on purpose?

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


I seem to have a knack for pissing off Americans online. Currently fighting about whether the film U-571 is offensive to the still living (British) sailors who actually captured the Enigma. Consensus seems to be that I'm just pissed off about the Revolution - I'm not.

As a Brit living in the US I seem to piss off the "you're stealing our jobs" brigade too.

It's normally fun though. I don't do it on purpose but I don't back down either.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

No! I've given up trying to argue about anything online. I've never been able to change anyone's mind about anything, even in person. Even if I succeeded I probably wouldn't care. Who *are* these people who hide behind aliases that sound like 1970's CB radio handles and fight endless wars over the most insignificant topics humankind has ever had to deal with? If you don't know who I'm talking about (unlikely), go to misc.consumers.houses and say "Fiberglass insulation rules! Cellulose insulation doesn't work!" Or go to comp.sys.palmtops.pilot and say "Pilots suck! Windows CE for all!" No response? Go to misc.transport.urban-transit and say "Losers ride the bus! Cars rule!" I bet you never thought people would say your choice of ISP is proof you're an idiot but they have to insult you somehow. Try saying "DSL sucks! Cable modems are faster!" on comp.dcom.xdsl and people will jump at putting you in your place. Of course you don't have to bring up these topics because they're already arguments that have been going on for at least a year. The participants never use logic or persuasive statements so I guess they're waiting for everyone else to grow old and die so they can declare themselves King of the Newsgroup.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

Actually no, I'm almost never involved in flamewars. I find people who are constantly involed in flamewars to be a bit tiresome, even though some of them I also like. I really hate it when two friends start fighting, that's the worst. But I admire people who save the flames for when it matters, because I usually can't even flame then, I'm too chicken.

That Gus and Kim forum, though, whooh! That was not only like watching a car crash, that was like watching a semi filled with chickens crash into a mental hospital! I would never post to it, but it was more entertaining to read than most flamewars, thanks for linking to it you rat-testing bitch, you!

You should get that on a t-shirt.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

A semi filled with chickens crashing into a mental hospital?

What a brilliant line, Kymm! I'll have to remember that one and pray for the opportunity to use it!

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

I try to be nice online, but I have a friend that loves to go into a forum or chatroom and just start trouble on purpose. It is weird how aggressive some people can get with just a little motivation.

I don't need to worry, because the only forum I post on is the awesome one that Jen has!

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

i've been involved in a few flame wars in the five years i've been on the net. to be honest in all that time i don't think i've ever seen anyone remotely consider changing their point of view. i do think there is useful information that can be learnt from such discussions.

in relation to the u-571 post above... i also think the movie is offensive to the australian pilots that actually sunk u-571 off ireland in 1944, as well as the 52 germans that died when it was sunk. there were 136 uboats that were never actually commissioned, but that were being built. they should have used one of these designations. oh well.

by the way, don't worry jen... your readers will be your secret service agents and jump in the path of any attack coming from psycho kim :)

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

Yeah, well, we saved France's ass, twice, and Parisians are still arrogant and rude. I find that offensive.

How's that for pissing people off online?

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

The thing that pisses me off about the majority of "flame wars" online is the stupidity of the people involved, or at least the fact that they flaunt what appears to me to be stupidity.

It's a pet peeve when people consistantly make grammatical errors. Easy ones. See that Gus/Kim forum, and my last post. I could care what she says to me, but if you're going to insult someone, at least show some semblance of knowledge about the English language. Spelling mistakes, eh, nobody's perfect. And hard grammatical stuff isn't so bad, but the easy stuff like their/there/they're and your/you're and its/it's really really gets on my nerves.

And why attack the person? If you actually have an argument and wish to debate with someone, at least stop attacking. My personal favorite is in teen chat rooms when someone asks you for sex and you say no and they call you a fat ugly bitch. Coming from someone like that, a bitch is a compliment to me. :)

-- Anonymous, June 24, 2000

ummm, yeah. america saved france twice.

sure, lets do a little revision of history. my change for the day will be that russia played no part in ending world war ii.

-- Anonymous, June 24, 2000

I do my best never to piss people off online, but the only thing that really works is to never say anything. From my experience, if you regularly contribute to almost any forum, newsgroup, chat room, etc.... you're going to get flamed sooner or later.

Related story.... a friend of mine gets his jollies by going into Christian chat rooms and saying the most blaspehemous things he can think of. (Don't ask me why, I don't get it either.) The weird thing is that he actually met a woman this way. It started as a flame war, but they ended up having a fairly serious online relationship, and eventually he flew across the country to meet her. After that things didn't work out, and last I heard they're back to flaming each other.

Hopefully I've said nothing controversial here. :)

-- Anonymous, June 24, 2000

I seem to have lost the knack (of pissing people off) both intentionally and by accidence. Used to happen all the time, and I sort of miss it. The only upset I've caused recently is getting other diarists' names and URLs wrong in my entries. Maybe I ought to make more of an effort. Let's see.... You're all a bunch of big fat poopy-heads! Nah. Guess I've mellowed.

(well, not hairy old men, or for that matter, hairy old women)

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

I haven't got the detachment or the ego necessary to conduct a really good flame war.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

well, i have 1 or 2 people that really get under my skin and i theirs... but there are only a few topics that get me going... my kids and my SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST!! I am a born again christian and not afraid to tell people they will go to hell with out JESUS ...... i won't start a fight unless i feel very strongly about a subject...... i am normally a mellow person..... i have 3 kids (all boys ) and 1 due in Dec..... so i feel i MUST make an example for them... 2 of kids are saved and i praise the LORD for that every day and i jst feel that if i need to defend them .... I WILL ..... and if someone needs to know the TRUTH about JESUS..... i will talk to them..... if i see it is no use taiking, i will move on...... 'nuff said.......................................

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

oh yeah, I feel the same way about THE GREAT PUMPKIN!

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

I don't know. Did I piss you off when you wrongfully accused me of spamming your message board posters, or were you just mildly irritated? I certainly hope it was the latter.

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

Yes, Sherrod, that did piss me, and a number of my readers, off.

For those of you who are unaware, Sherrod pulled the e-mail addresses of people who posted in my forum and sent them unsolicited e-mail encouraging them to go look at his webpage, which I think is unspeakably tasteless and rude. A couple of readers who used unique e-mails to post in this forum also complained to me, which is how it came to my attention.

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

Hey, y'all, The Misanthropic Bitch

is queen, queen I tells ya!

Oh, and I find that kind of spamming very rude. I can't stand that kind of opportunistic self promotion. I bet he was a frog. (Yes, of course I was kidding in my above post...)

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

Okay, then the answer to the question is "Yes, I do piss people off on-line." So, please explain to me the difference between starting an unsolicited conversation with a stranger on a street-corner and sending an unsolicited e-mail to a stranger who publicly posts his/her e-mail address. I don't get that.

The majority of responses I got to the few e-mails I did send out were positive. There were a few who respectfully declined the offer. Then there were exactly three who acted like they were the protagonist in "Enemy of the State" -- "HOW DID YOU GET MY E-MAIL ADDRESS?!" "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!" "THIS IS SPAM!" -- No, this is not spam. This is paranoia beyond belief.

I abide by most rules of net etiquette, even the ones I consider to be absolutely ridiculous. I am able to understand why some people have problems with social interaction such as a non-threatening e- mail which solicited no product or service to buy or subscribe to. After all, that's why most geeks turn to the Internet rather than interacting with poeple IRL.

I'm one of you as well. I know that some of us have a problem with privacy issues. As well, many of us have a political stance we like to call our own. That means that we take certain issues seriously. As a result, many of us take certain issues too seriously and too far (whether it's jingoism, racism, feminism, right to free speech, right to privacy, etc.).

As for me, I'm much more pissed off when I get actual spam from a web site that I inadvertently stumbled across. I get pissed when I get a forwarded chain letter talking about nonsense with 146 other names to which it's been mailed. (NOW PEOPLE WHO EXPOSE OTHERS' E-MAIL ADDRESSES TO STRANGERS LIKE THAT SHOULD BE THE SUBJECT OF YOUR DISDAIN!) I get pissed when I receive a bitter e-mail which is a knee- jerk reaction to an innocous request to check out a budding web site.

However, if someone sends me a request to see their site by getting my e-mail address from a public forum post I voluntarily made, I have no problem with that. I might ignore it and trash it. (THE EASIEST THING TO DO - ENERGY AND TIME EXPENDED CALLING PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW TOADS AND RAILING AGAINST THEM TO OTHERS CAN BE SAVED AND USED MUCH MORE EFFECTIVELY BY JUST CHOOSING 'DELETE MESSAGE') I might check the site out. If it's cool, I might even bookmark it. If it's lame I might bag on it in an e-mail, by signing their guestbook, or in private to my friends.

However, to get pissed off about something so trivial is beyond ignorant. It's stupid! ... of course, if any of us had more sense and less self-serving indignation we'd be much happier because we wouldn't allow others to piss us off with their words and actions. In my failure to do that, I guess I'm no better than you


-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

Sherrod, if you approached me on a street corner and asked me to check out your web site, I would also consider it to be intrusive and an annoyance. E-mail addresses get posted in this forum in case someone wants to continue a forum discussion privately, and it is inappropriate to use these addresses for any other purpose.

There are plenty of other ways to promote your site without inconveniencing my readers. If you would like some suggestions, you can e-mail me privately.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

As I stated earlier, I understand the positions of others even if I don't agree with them. The thing is that I believe it's just as wrong for someone to have that attitude IRL as on-line. The mindset that says "I'm too important/busy/apathetic to be bothered" is part of what contributes to so much isolation in society. That's the attitude of the person who ignores homeless people on the street when they're approached for spare change. For Pete's sake, at least say, "No!" Don't just ignore the person.

-- What I'm saying is not a personal dig at Jen, but a general dig at the type of people I'm describing. --

Bums, transients, vagrants, street people, whatever you may call them are people, human beings. Not much is more degrading than to have someone totally ignore you, not just your plea for help. But, to be shunned as a human being is an evil act that carries repercussions. For each person who feels belittled by the encounter, the perpetrator of the act is hardened and made colder to others. That leads to people who walk around unfulfilled, people who walk around clouded in arrogance, and everyone a little less satisfied with having to have any interaction with other people.

There are inconveniences everyday in life. I would just like to think that an inconvenience is not blown out of proportion and seen as an injustice. Maybe I'm rambling and I should get off of my soap-box, but as I mentioned earlier denizens of the Net (and the world at large) get worked up about certain issues held dear to their hearts. And, this is something I hold dear to my heart. Call it crusading for freedom of speech if you want, but I like to believe that it's something more. I think that I just try to live my life respecting and being kind to everyone. (Although, I don't always succeed.)

I don't believe what I did was unkind, but I feel as though certain responses I got were. Because no matter how many words of encouragement and helpful suggestions I received, no matter how many interesting new personalities I met through my unorthodox approach, what sticks with me the most is the rejection that I received from people (albeit strangers) to whom I was trying to open up. Oh, well. Maybe I'm just too sensitive. Perhaps I'm the one now who is making a mountain out of a mole-hill.

Anyway, thanks for the forum because whether people agree or disagree it's good that there's a place for a free exchange of ideas.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

It seems my very presence is enough to make some people go mental. Why, just the other day I mentioned somebody's spelling mistake and they told me to "go to hell." I mean, if you wrote something as stupid as "Hewlitt Packard" wouldn't you want somebody to tell you? And this is the thanks I get. Sheesh.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

Dave, I'm sure we will all keep in mind that you like to have your spelling errors corrected in public.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

I apologize if my sarcasm was too subtle.

-- Anonymous, July 01, 2000

Wow, Dave, it must be lonely being the only person on the internet with a sense of humor.

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2000

I am not alone. There are others.

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2000

I started the Dave Van Appreciation Club a few years back. Membership- wise, we're into negative numbers.

Dave Van Club Protocol #23: And it's Internet, not internet.

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2000

First the great pumpkin and now negative number fan club memberships. How very Grade 3.

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2000

Well, let me go conduct a poll on my webpage to see if I should have any further response to that comment.

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2000

I can see how you'd need help making that kind of decision. Perhaps you could ask your mommy?

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

woo hoo, if my dog got publically banned from a discussion board he's got more self-esteem than to come groveling back (hint Beth)

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

i seem to vastly irritate people at certain discussion boards, though my opinions there are the same ones i advence at my local pub among fellow over-educated ne'er-do-wells and random wandering people from the university or the city...

the nice people at bounced me from their message board because they disapproved of my attitude about male-female encounters. The "community of literate hedonists" felt that any posts arguing that sex was difficult, often a occasion for stress, rejection and humiliation, and even more often a battlefield were...depressing. they also seemed to feel that arguing that sex is linked to physical lust and physical pleasure denigrated their tantric-energy deep- spirituality views...

the nice folks at don't like me either. they think that since i disdain and despise hip-hop and rap as both music and fashion, i must be a racist... they also feel that many subjects are so taboo that they must never, ever be joked about. When a character on Road Rules ended a truly pretentious discussion about "i'm not a racist, i once had a black boyfriend/girlfriend" by saying that, hey, his gardener was black, the board was horrified-- and even more horrified whan i noted that the line should have been delivered even more deadpan and included the phrase "---but we sold him."

i admit that i enjoy saying things that upset the Righteous and Earnest. I find Moral Earnestness to be truly boring and obnoxious.

but the level of touchiness out there is extremely high...

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

damn Jen Wade, seems like I missed out on most of the fun. Where was I when these educated sophisticates were calling each other names and bickering like five year olds? Such fun.

And you, geez -- a catty side -- who'd have ever guessed? (now that was sarcasm) 'Spose if you pull the covers back far enough every motel has its own variety of bed bugs.

Before I sign off of this belated forum response I would like to make an analogy for the benefit of that silly little spam lover -

walking up to me on the street and starting to blab about yourself is akin to hitting the private button in a chat room and asking if I'd ever had anyone virtually grope my weiner. While neither instance would illicit a poor response from me I believe this situation is a much more fitting comparison than the one she made.

Coming up to me on the street and asking for my telephone number is closer to her actions.

See, I can be serious if I want. Neeener neeener neeeener. Thhllllllbbbttttttt.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2000

...and since no one's gonna read this anyway I might as well answer the silly question -- no I have never pissed anyone off in cyberspace - they love me -- they really love me!

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2000

no wait wait... walking into an AA meeting and copying down everyone's names from those little blue and white sticky 'Hello my name is...' name tags everyone wears is more like what she did. Only the name tags would have to have the people's home addresses on them.

No, that's stupid. I don't even know if alcholics wear name tags. Be cool if they did though and forgot to take it off when they went to buy groceries after the meeting. Everyone would be able to lend a hand in the recovery process.

"See that man hon, he's what they call an alkie. Hey, hey you! You can't go down that aisle. Let's see here, ahh Mr. Sam Jones. How would your sponsoror feel if he knew you were walking down the cheap wine aisle, huh? You won't do yourself any good or anyone else by drowning your problems in Mad Dog. Now go on home Mr. Jones and you just think about what you've done."

"But...but I only wanted to buy some twinkies."

It does take a village indeed.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2000

I lettered in debate in high school, and really enjoy a spirited discussion. I try to keep to facts and logic, and I try to steer clear of outright flaming. Sometimes I slip. In the course of some political discussion I once called our lovely hostess "deranged". This was a bad thing to do, and of course I apologized.

Certainly calling Jennifer "deranged" doesn't help her to get in touch with her inner conservative.

I once got personally flamed by Tom Clancy on Usenet, that was kind of special.

-- Anonymous, September 26, 2000

Well, I was once propositioned by Tom Cruise and Tommy Lee Jones in the same day in the same thread. I couldn't see their faces, but I knew it was them.

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

"Well, I was once propositioned by Tom Cruise and Tommy Lee Jones ..."

Well, perhaps you are just derranged, rudeboy.

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

Why Jim, are you jealous? I'm gonna hafta go back to your page and read some more of your stuff - see if you been havin' hot flashes for ol' rudeboy.

-- Anonymous, October 08, 2000

And now the nice folks at want me dead, too... My views of social issues seem to upset many of them. But then, once we get the Antarctic death camps established, we can ship off all the libertarians, dot-com geeks, christians, conservatives, birkenstock wearers, wiccans, moralists heavy metal fans, gangstas, PETA types, and unattractive women and I'll be happy.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2000

I find that I piss people off on-line on a fairly regular basis. One time, I was involved in a discussion about racial issues. The topic was whether or not blacks should be called "African Americans". I said that I preffered to say "black", because that was my personal preference. In my opinion, it's not politically incorrect. This woman had the audacity to call me a racist. She said that I was ignorant for preferring to call black people BLACK. And then, after that, she reported me. Unfuckingbelievable. I ripped into her about how it was my opinion, and not politically incorrect. She then called me an ignorant bitch and ignored me. She then took me off ignore, told me that she was very offended by what I had said, reported me again, and then told everyone in the forum that I was a racist bitch. She was very angry that I had spoken my mind, it seems. I guess you could say I piss people off unintentionally.

-- Anonymous, March 18, 2001

Somehow *I* manage to piss people off online and off-line.

I just dont understand. ;-0

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2001

i usually find people on discussion boards and meet them in real life. then kidnap them and torture them.

sometimes i kill .

i like knives. knives are silent very practical.

-- Anonymous, December 31, 2001

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