Sometimes I can be just the pettiest person imaginable--slight me and I will go out of my way to slight you back. And I will hold a grudge forever. On the other hand, apologize and I will forgive you over and over again. Are you petty? What's the pettiest thing you've ever done?

-- Kymm (hedgehog@hedgehog.net), June 23, 2000

Answers

I'm not that petty, but I will think petty things and muse about the petty things I *want* to do. In the end I don't do them, though.

I think just thinking them and joking about them with a friend is enough to get me over it.

-- Colleen (triggirl@yahoo.com), June 23, 2000.

Inside this cranium of mine I'm still holding grudges from past lives. I do relent if a person shapes up - apologies are good, but appropriate actions are fine, too. I don't often do petty things, but I think petty thoughts for sure. Half of the time I relish them, and the other half, I feel guilty.

-- Ann Monroe (monroe@chorus.net), June 23, 2000.

I have been known to strike people from my guest list if they fail to appear when they've said they would. There was a notable case once when I removed someone who brought double the number of people and none of the alcohol he said he would bring. I just don't need to put up with that.

But I don't really go out of my way to get back at people for little things. They -really- have to do a lot to get me to that level.

/Robert

-- Robert (rbdimmick@earthlink.net), June 23, 2000.

Anyone who stands me up twice never gets another chance to do so.

Any guest who criticizes my housekeeping skills will never set foot in my house again. (My mother is exempt for practicality's sake ::groan::)

Any friend or lover who implies that I'm lying, gets relegated back to acquaintance-ship since they obviously need to redo the whole getting-to-know-you-thing since they didn't get it the first time (as I am scrupulously honest).

-- Tynan (ty@power-lines.com), June 23, 2000.

Once I saw a guy I hadn't seen for about two years and the first thing he said was "Amy! You have gotten HUGE!". He is so off my list. And don't tell me how little my house is or how much of a piece of crap my car is if you're homeless on a bicycle. Oof, that is the worst. If you piss me off you're done..period.

-- Amy T. (als918@aol.com), June 23, 2000.

I don't know about the petty thing, but as for grudges, no. I get over stuff quick. I think it's a good thing, but my mother hates it. She says that I'm going to end up getting majorly screwed over by people all the time because they know I'll just get over it. I say that if people are willing to majorly screw you over, they don't give a damn whether you get over it or not, anyway! I wrote about grudges in an entry last year, where I was talking about how I still have grudges left over from when I used to never get over stuff:

-------- I just realized something interesting today. You all know I don't hold grudges. Or maybe you don't know, but it's true, I don't hold grudges. I can't stand a lot of people, but it's not because of anything they did to me, it's just because, well, I don't like people in general. You know that. The thing is, though, that I used to hold grudges, up until I guess freshman year. And even though I don't hold the grudges anymore, I still can't stand some people that I used to have grudges against - like, I hate them for no reason. But the reason goes back to the grudge, I just don't remember it - I'm subconsciously still holding that grudge.

Example #1: My old volleyball coach back in 6th grade, Mrs. Elmore. I hated her. HATED HER, for like no reason. But what I just realized today is that way back when I was in first grade, she was the school librarian. I've always been ahead of my class in reading (Up until 4th grade, I went to reading classes in the next grade), and one day I tried to check out a book that was probably a third-grade reading level. Well, she WOULDN'T LET ME CHECK IT OUT! She didn't think I could really read it or something, and she tried to make me read out loud to her before she'd let me check the goddamn thing out. So I got really nervous and wouldn't read it, and I was also pissed off because how the hell can a librarian tell you what books you can't read? Man, that bitch made me SO MAD. I've sort of hated her ever since, and it goes back to that day.

Example #2. My ex-boyfriend (the one that I talked about last month). In 7th grade he dumped me for this 8th grade cheerleader who weighed about 100 lbs and looked like a fly (no kidding). I seriously could not STAND Aaron at ALL until this year. I forgot about the grudge and was just sort of like, "I just can't stand him." But it goes back to that.

Example #3. The girl Aaron dumped me for. I hated her like hell for like a year (long story but she and her friend Angie tried to make my life hell for awhile), and then it sort of dwindled down to a mild dislike. But again, it goes back to years ago.

So when I say I don't hold a grudge, that's true, unless it's from something that happened before freshman year. ------

Anyone else do that, or am I just weird?

-- Katie (mrkite@apci.net), June 23, 2000.

My Mom can hold a grudge like no-one I've ever met. She is an Olympic calliber grudge-holder. Fifty years ago (yes, 5-0), she was insulted by Jimmy Stewart, and she has never forgiven him. Really, if It's a Wonderful Life comes on, she leaves the room. She had a bad experience working with David Duchovney ten years ago, and she absolutely loathes him to this day.

Nobody can stand up to my Mom in holding a grudge.

-- Kymm (kymmz1@yahoo.com), June 24, 2000.

My most common grudges are against people who don't respond to invitations, don't return phone calls, don't answer emails. Especially when their reasoning is "not enough time." That just really bugs me.

And I've never forgiven any boyfriend who's ever broken up with me. Or my ex-husband.

But I get over grudges easily enough when people are really nice to me. Though not with the old boyfriends. Anymore.

-- Catherine (catcoicrit@earthlink.net), June 26, 2000.

I have to admit to being a world-class grudge-holder, but only for big stuff. You have to go a long, long way to piss me off to that degree. Once you've made it there, though, forget about it.

As for petty... I think petty thoughts a lot more than I should, but I rarely act on them.

The last really petty thing that I did was to refuse to allow my sister to take the rocking chair she wanted when my parents moved last year. I wanted it, and Mom said she could have it, and when my sister took it out of the house to pack it in her truck, I followed right behind her and took it back. It was mine, damn it.

-- Laura (lbhelfrich@yahoo.com), June 26, 2000.

I don't think I'm too bad in this area - I try to be really good about it, but I'm fairly sensitive.

I try to keep my pettiness positive (if that makes any sense at all), but channelling it in the 'I'm going to look great when I see those bitches from my high school'.

-- Jackie (jackiec@diaryland.com), June 28, 2000.