Favorite Movie Dialog

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Okay what is your favorite of Movie dialog-movies only...here is mine:

Mike Doesn't Want To Leave the House Tonight written by Jon Favreau

(Talking on the phone with his best friend Trent while walking around his dark apartment) Mike: We're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for one party and then leaving 'cause it sucks, then we're gonna look for this other party you heard about. But, Trent, all the parties and bars, they all suck. I spend half the night trying to talk to some girl whose eyes are darting around to see if there's someone more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack? Half of them are nasty skanks who wouldn't be shit if they weren't surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. I'm not gonna be one of those assholes. I want to throw up. Some fuckin' skank who is half the woman my girlfriend is is gonna front me? It makes me want to fuckin' puke!

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

Answers

The Princess Bride, by William Goldman.

"I want my father back, you son of a bitch."

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


Cool Hand Luke: "What we have here is a failure to communicate."

Casablanca:
Louis: "I'm shocked, *shocked* to find out there's *gambling* going on here!"
Cashier: "Your winnings, sir."
Louis: "Oh, thank you."

The Princess Bride: "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

Lolita: "I was not prepared for my dual role. On one hand the corrupter of an innocent, on the other Humbert the happy housewife." It's more of a monolog then a dialog though.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

Also from Casablanca : Louis : Whay did you come to Casablanca? Rick : I came for the waters. Louis : What waters? Casablanca is in the desert! Rick : I was misinformed.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

from real genius:

"do you mind if i name my first child after you? dipshit knight has a nice ring to it."

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000



"When Harry Met Sally" (actually, the WHOLE movie, but here's a snippet):

Harry: With whom did you have this great sex?

Sally: Shel. Shel Gordon.

Harry: Shel? Sheldon? No, you didn't have great sex with SHELDON.

Sally: I did too!

Harry: No, you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man, but humping and pumping is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name: Do it to me..Sheldon. You're an animal..Sheldon. Ride me, big..Sheldon. Doesn't work.

Waitress: Hi, what can I get you?

Harry: I'll have a #3.

Sally: I'd like a chef salad please, with oil and vinegar on the side, and apple pie a la mode.

Waitress: Chef and apple pie a la mode.

Sally: But I'd like the pie heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real - if it's out of a can, then nothing.

Waitress: Not even the pie?

Sally: No, just the pie, but then not heated.

Harry: So why did you break up with Sheldon?

Sally: How do you know we broke up?

Harry: Because if you didn't break up, you wouldn't be here with me, you'd be off with Sheldon the wonder-schlong.

Sally: First of all, I am not WITH you, and second of all, it is none of your business why we broke up.

Harry: You're right, I don't want to know.

Sally: Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous, and I had these days-of-the-week underpants...

Harry: (Makes a "wrong answer" noise) I'm sorry, I need a judge's ruling on this... days-of-the-week underpants?

Sally: Yes, they had the days of the week on them, and I thought they were sort of funny. And then one day Sheldon says to me, "How come you never wear Sunday?" All suspicious, where was Sunday, where was Sunday. And I told him, and he didn't believe me.

Harry: Why?

Sally: They don't make Sunday.

Harry: Why?

Sally: Because of God.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


"When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to Abba songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as 'Dancing Queen!'"

Muriel to Rhonda, Muriel's Wedding.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


American Pie: "What's my name? Say my name, bitch!"

Joe's Apartment: "I'm a coc-a-roach, not Santy Claus!"

Armed and Dangerous: "The world is a shithole full of shittly little scumbags who are scared shitless." "Gee, I didn't know this was going to be such a formal affair. If I had known this was going to be such a formal affair, I would have worn underwear!"

Fallen: (John Goodman) "Pizza is a staff of life. Without pizza and other Italian foods there would be no happiness."

Once Bitten: "Mark doesn't want you, because you're mean and evil. He wants ME because I'm nice and sweet and pure. So fuck off!" "I can't believe you're willing to throw away our whole relationship for a chauffer, a butler, and a slut who eats buttons!"

Nothing in Common: (Tom Hanks) "You know what my scenario was for this whole thing? I was gonna move away. I was gonna get rich and move into a luxurious mansion and my parents were gonna come visit me ONCE. And they were gonna say 'Oh, what a nice mansion, we love you, David,' and I was gonna say 'I love you too, Mom and Dad,' then they were gonna GO AWAY and DIE."

The 9th Configuration: "I am a Buddhist. In case of death, call a llama."

Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Next Generation: "Wait, wait, wait. I just thought of something SO cool. What if we got into a wreck, and we crashed into a car in front of us and we all DIED. They could write a SONG about it!"

Gone With the Wind: (Scarlett) "Oh, Rhett, don't go, you can't leave me, please. I'll never forgive you." (Rhett) "I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'll never understand or forgive myself. And if a bullet gets me, so helf me. I'll laugh at muself for being an idiot. Because one thing I do know, and that is that I love you, Scarlett. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. Because we're alike, bad lots, both of us. Selfish and shrewd, but able to look things in the eyes and call them by their right names."

A Murder of Crows: (Cuba Gooding, Jr) "Never waste the opportunity to tell someone you love them; never take the credit or the blame for something you didn't do; and ALWAYS tell the truth... It's easier to remember."

I could go on forever... maybe I watch too many movies :)

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


From 'Coming to America' (the first R-rated movie I ever saw)....

Eddie Murphy: Behold. Life. Real life! A thing that we have been denied for far too long. Good morning my neighbors!!

Neighbor: Hey, fuck you!!!

Eddie Murphy: Yes!! Yes!! Fuck you too!!

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


Goodfellas

Karen: Who do think you are? Frankie Vallie or some kind of big shot?

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000



From 10 Things I Hate About You: "Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve what you really want."

From The Matrix: "The Matrix cannot tell you who you really are."

From One Fine Day: "All women I know like you make me think all women are like you."

From Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me: "www.shhhh.com! Dot-org!"

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

One of the spaghetti western movies with clint eastwood (i forget which one):

Clint (throwing a shovel to a guy with an empty gun): There are two kinds of people in this world, my friend; those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


This is the best Goodfellas scene:

Tommy has just told a story that's cracked up the entire company of gangsters at a table) Henry: (laughing hard) Really funny. Really funny. Tommy: Whattya mean I'm funny? Henry: You're just funny, y'know, the story. It's funny. You're a funny guy. Tommy: Whattya mean? They way I talk? What? Henry: It's just, y'know, it's just funny, you know the way you tell the story and everything ... Tommy: Funny how? I mean, what's funny about it? Anthony (Frank Adonis): (worried) Tommy, no, you got it all wrong ... Tommy: Whoa, whoa Anthony! He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What'd you say? Funny how? What? Henry: Just you know you're funny. Tommy: You mean, let me understand this ... cuz I ... maybe its me, maybe I'm a little fucked up maybe. I'm funny how, I mean funny, like I'm a clown? I amuse you. I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? Whattya you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny? Henry: I don't know just ... you know how you tell the story. What? Tommy: No, no I don't know. You said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. (yelling now) How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what's funny? (Long suspenseful pause: is someone going to die?) Henry (cracking up): Get the fuck outta here! (everyone laughs, the tension is gone) Tommy: Ya motherfucker, I almost had him! I almost had him! You stuttering prick here! Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning!!

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


From Tombstone.

Kurt Russel throws a punch, and splits a guy's lip open. The guy stands stunned.

Kurt Russel : Are you going to hit me, or are you just going to stand there and bleed?

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


this is a translation from a recent Greek movie i just saw:

Sexy, extrememly provocatively dressed girl goes to boy's house after having just met him the night before at a club where she "dances". He propositions her pretty much immediately -and a little too obviously for her taste. She wants to "talk" first. She responds: " I am not what i look like"

He answers: " Well then look like what you are" !

I thought that was pretty funny. Not sure that it translates so well though. The film is called " Love is an elephant"

Oh and... "I've got chills... they're multiplyin'..." Guess.

"Blade Runner" is a pretty good film too wouldn't you agree? - "My mother?... Let me tell you about my mother..."

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000



Seems like Urban Cowboy is on every damn time I'm out of town on a business trip... so I end up watching it, since there's nothing else to do. My favorite line in it is where John Travolta is talking to the rich oilman's daughter he's picked up in a bar... "You know, contrary to what your daddy may think, not all cowboys is dumb. Some of em gots smarts real good. Like me." Cracks me up EVERY time. There's also lots of good lines in "Better Off Dead" with John Cusack... his little friend Charles DeMar (sp?) always has something like "Layne, I've been going to this highs school for 7 1/2 years.... I'm no dummy (about what girls like)." Too funny. I could go on and on, just from THAT movie.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

From my new FAVORITE movie, "Postcards from the Edge"

Suzanne:Mother, this is my roommate, Aretha. Doris:Aretha? What an interesting name. Aretha:Yes, I think my parents were expecting someone black. Doris:Are you black? Aretha:I'm going to go...weave a basket or something.

Doris:Where are you going? Suzanne:I'm going to go cut an album! I'm going to go have some fibroid tumors removed!

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


Office Space: Bob - You've been missing quite a bit of work lately. Peter - Well, I wouldn't say that I've been actually MISSING it, Bob...

Heathers: "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw."

Reality Bites: "Melrose Place is a really good show."

Clueless: "You know how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet."

Clerks: "I'm not even suppose to BE here today!"

American Pie: "This one time, at band camp..."

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


Office Space: Watch your cornhole, buddy.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

From Reality Bites:

Troy: "Did he dazzle you with his extensive knowledge of mineral water or was it his in-depth analysis of Marky Mark that finally reeled you in? I just would have liked to have been there to watch how you rationalized sleeping with a yuppie-head cheeseball on the first date."

Lelaina: "He's not a yuppie."

Troy: "He's the reason why Cliff Notes were invented."

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


From "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (the movie) Buffy: Does the word "duh" mean anything to you?

From "Heathers" JD: Another fucking Heather.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


The Princess Bride: Inigo: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you. Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

The Great Muppet Caper: Miss Piggy: Why are you telling me all this? Lady Holiday: It's plot exposition; it has to go somewhere.

Rain Man: Raymon: Uh-oh. Your shorts are on the highway.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1) Ferris: I love driving it. It's so choice. (2) Ben Stein teacher: Something-d-o-o economics. Anyone? Anyone? Voo-doo economics.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


Office Space: "Mr. Naga.... naga.... naganna work here anymore, anyway."

ha.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


Reality Bites:

PFlag...I'm beginning to like the sound of that.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


Harriet the Spy: (Golly, to Harriet): "You're an individual, and you know something? That makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous your whole life."

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

The Jerk

"He hates those cans!"

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


"The Cider House Rules":

"You know what yer bidness is?!!"

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000


This would be the perfect time for me to blantantly pimp my OBSCURE MOVIE QUOTE TRIVIA contest.

The idea is simple. Every entry I write includes a movie quote... you write me and tell me what movie it's from and get a point. The person with the most points at the end of the contest (September first, for those playing along at home) wins a (as yet undetermined) prize.

If you read me for one reason and one reason alone, let this be the one. (=

I'm here.

As for the topic itself?

Princess Bride: "Are you hurt? Can you move at all?"
"Move? You're alive. If you want, I could fly."

Or
"Liar! LIARRRRRRRRR!"

When Harry Met Sally: "Pepper."
"Pepper."
Ad nauseum. (=

Few Good Men: Umm... pretty much the whole damn movie?
"I was just wondering why two men have been locked up since last night while their lawyer is out here hitting a ball."
"We need the practice."
"That wasn't funny."
"It was a little funny."

I could go on and on, but I won't.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

--Sixteen Candles--

"He's wearing tan pants, red sneakers and a red sweater."

"No, he's not retarded."

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!!

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

From Heathers :

Veronica's Dad : I don't patronize bunny rabbits!

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


Oh! I love "It was a little funny" from A Few Good Men. Also the one along the lines of (and I'm getting this wrong, I know) "Our attorney has opted to use the Liar Liar Pants on Fire defense!" and the whole game-show-loser type speech Tom Cruise does.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

Pretty much the entire script to The Big Lebowski

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

"Sleeples in Seattle"

Sam: I cried at the end of "The Dirty Dozen".

Friend: Who didn't?

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


Hey Heather -

Sleepless in Seattle -

Sam's Sister : ...her shriveled little legs...

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


From Spice World:

When the rabbit of chaos is pursued by the ferret of disorder through the fields of anarchy, it is time to hang your pants on the line of darkness. Whether they are clean or not.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


French Kiss "My ass is twitching. You people make my ass twitch."

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

More Reality Bites:

Vickie: "Don't bogart that can, man." Sammy: "Are you retarded?" Vickie: "No, I'm rhyming."

Vickie: "We're going to eat gas?"

Michael: "What's your glitch?"

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


From Barfly: There are so many things I don't want to do.

From Crumb: I got snubbed at the love-in.

From Tales of Ordinary Madness (when the foundation head tells Henry Chinaski he means to see that Chinaski assume his rightful place in American letters): Maybe.

From Miami Blues: I don't think you can afford a Porsche, Mr. Frenger.

From Naked Lunch: Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy in-curving hooks and start eating. He thought this was cute at first and built an act around it, but the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him It's you who will shut up in the end. Not me. Because we dont need you around here any more. I can talk and eat AND shit.

From Key Largo: City filth!

From To Have and Have Not: Just put your lips together and blow.

From Dirty Harry: Go ahead, punk--make my day.

From The In-Laws: Serpentine, Shelly! Serpentine!

From Tempest: Calibanos playing "New York, New York" on his clarinet, while the goats leap overhead.

From Cockfighter: Warren Oates killing his champion rooster.

Several quotes from Wild Guitar, but I can't remember them. I guess I'll have to screen it this weekend. By the way, Robert Crumb has a part in Wild Guitar. I played the drums in the Turf Club, with Willie Nelson's sister, on piano. Abbott Willie. She played "Tiger Rag" and "Beer Barrel Polka" so fast I couldn't keep time, and the bouncer threw me out in the Dallas Highway. Which reminds me of my last one...:

From Raw Deal: Don't drink and bake.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


reality bites has some of the BEST quotes...my friend and I play drinking games and trade themb ack and forth, first to screw up drinks..we went through almost the entire movie one day.
Vicki- "I just thought of something, I'm in charge of all these t shirts. French cut, V neck, what have you....man Im screwed"


-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

DAZED & CONFUSED KAYE: And there you guys were in class trying to list all the Gilligan's Island episodes without even a hint of irony. SHAVONNE: What in the hell are you talking about girl? KAYE: You weren't thinking about it were you? SHAVONNE: Gilligan's Island? KAYE: It's what's called the male pornographic fantasy. Think about it. You're basically alone on a deserted island with two readily available women. One a seductive sex goddess type. The other a healthy girl next door type with a nice butt. So guys have it all. The madonna and the whore. Women get nothing. We get a geek and an over-weight, middle-aged guy.

CHASING AMY (Kevin Smith has an endless supply of great mono/dialogues, including the first one here that I think is the greatest I love you admission ever.)

HOLDEN: And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which -while I do appreciate it- I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BANKY: Archie, all right? Archie and the Riverdale gang were a pure and fun-lovin' bunch. You can't find dysfunction in those comics, because they were just flat out wholesome. HOOPER: Archie and Jughead were lovers. BANKY: Shut the fuck up. HOOPER: It's true. Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch- that's why Jughead wears that crown-looking hat all the time: he's the king of queen Archie's world. BANKY: Man, I feel a hate crime coming on. HOLDEN: He has a point. Archie never did settle on Betty or Veronica. BANKY: Beacause he wanted them both at the same time, you assholes! He never chose one because he was trying to get both of them into a three-way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JAY: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag? HOLDEN: I'm just having some girl troubles. JAY: Bitch pressing charges? Yeah, I get that a lot.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


From Office Space: "You don't need a million dollars to do nothin', man. Look at my cousin. He's broke, don't do shit."

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

again, Office Space: "You know what I'd do with a million dollars? Two chicks at once- no, I'm serious, man."

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

Dumb & Dumber:

Cop: PULL Over

actor whose name I cannot remember: WHAT?

COP: PULLOVER

awnicr: No it's a cardigan but thanks for asking.

also Dumb & Dumber:

Jim Carrey: Uh Flo? (snicker, annoyed waitress walks over)

Jim Carrey: What's your soup du jour?

Waitres: it's our soup of the day.

JC: mmmmm. that sounds good I'll have that.

oh and one more:

You can't triple stamp a double stamp. Lloyd! you can't triple stamp a double stamp!

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


fight club, brad pitt (tyler durden): "We are the middle children of our generation. We have no great war, no great depression; our great war is a spiritual war, our great depression is our lives."

american beauty,kevin spacey (lester burnham): i want to look good naked

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


From Real Genius. Mitch: Something strange just happened...

Chris: Was it a dream where you're standing in sort of sun-god robes on top of a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

Mitch: NO!

Chris: Why am I the only one who has that dream?

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


Pretty In Pink

Steff: You know, I've been out with a lot of girls at this school. I don't see what makes you so different.
Andie: I have some taste.


Duckie: Blane? His name is Blane? That's a major appliance, that's not a name!

The Breakfast Club

Bender: How come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, IT'LL BE ANARCHY

Brian: Chicks cannot hold their smoke, thats what it is...

Can't Buy Me Love

Ronald: You ignored the Donald Miller geek for seventeen years, now you want to ride the Ronnie Miller express!

Caitlyn



-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000


Jamie: yep, you got it wrong... the correct line would be: "Oh THAT'S a relief, I was afraid I wouldn't get to use the 'Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire defense'!"

And while it's not dialog, one of my favourite parts in that movie is when Kaffey is going after Jessep (whooo, you can tell I'm all over this movie, I actually use the character names!) and FINALLY gets him to admit to ordering the code red and Kaffey blah blah blahs about moving to an immediate blah blah blah, the witness has rights, blah blah blah and the judge asks if Jack agrees and Jack's just sitting there, in total shock over Jessep's confession and Kaffey has to say: "Jack?" and Jack finally comes around enough to nod his agreement. I dig it.

ALSO from that movie... Sam (isn't Kevin Pollack the best?!?): "You heard it, my daughter said her first word."
KAFFEY: "Your daughter made a noise, I'm not sure it was a word."
SAM: "It was a word. She pointed and said, 'Pa'."
KAFFEY: "She was pointing at a mailbox, Sam."
SAM: "Right, as if to say, 'Pa, look: a mailbox.'"

Hee!

-- Anonymous, June 24, 2000

Wonderful scene from "Double Indemnity", one of THE coolest films of all time, in my (and many people's) opinion. There's a great scene between Fred Macmurray (Neff, the insurance salesman) and Barbara Stanwyck (Phyllis) where he's trying to sell her insurance, and she's trying to figure out how to "eliminate" her husband, and the pure heat that is building between them....so cool....

Neff: I wish you'd tell me what's engraved on that anklet. Phyllis: Just my name. Neff: As for instance? Phyllis: Phyllis. Neff: Phyllis, huh. I think I like that. Phyllis: But you're not sure. Neff: I'd have to drive it around the block a couple of times. Phyllis: (Standing up.) Mr. Neff, why don't you drop by tomorrow evening around 8:30? He'll be in then. Neff: Who? Phyllis: My husband. You were anxious to talk to him, weren't you? Neff: Yeah, I was. But I'm sort of getting over the idea, if you know what I mean. Phyllis: There's a speed limit in this state, Mr. Neff, 45 miles an hour. Neff: How fast was I going, Officer? Phyllis: I'd say around 90. Neff: Suppose you get down off your motorcycle and give me a ticket. Phyllis: Suppose I let you off with a warning this time. Neff: Suppose it doesn't take. Phyllis: Suppose I have to whack you over the knuckles. Neff: Suppose I bust out crying and put my head on your shoulder. Phyllis: Suppose you try putting it on my husband's shoulder. Neff: That tears it... (He takes his hat and briefcase.) 8:30 tomorrow evening, then. Phyllis: That's what I suggested. Neff: You'll be here too? Phyllis: I guess so. I usually am. Neff: Same chair, same perfume, same anklet? Phyllis: I wonder if I know what you mean. Neff: (Opening the entrance door.) I wonder if you wonder.

Damn!

-- Anonymous, June 24, 2000


The entire movie. . but.. Good Will Hunting .. Will: (to man inside shop) Hey .. do you like apples? Man Inside Shop: what? Will: I said, do you like apples? Man Inside Shop: yeah.... Will: (puts paper up to window) I got her number, how ya like them apples?

also.. in the bar when he rips the jerk to shreds about his education.. ahh.. I gotta go watch a movie now.. bubbye

-- Anonymous, June 24, 2000


From the film Swashbuckler: "I'm not a gentleman. I'm an Irishman." Spoken by pirate Ned Lynch, played by Robert Shaw. With apologies to any other semi-Irish folks out there.

The Chronicles of Richard



-- Anonymous, June 24, 2000

From Better Off Dead..."Ain't that a shame-- when folks be throwing out a perfectly good white boy like that."

-- Anonymous, June 24, 2000

I haven't seen "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" in years, but I giggle every time I think of this scene (which is pretty often, lately):

(Scene: highway at night. In their sleepy stupor, John Candy's and Steve Martin's characters have somehow managed to get their car on the LEFT side of the freeway and are driving down it, at about 60 mph. A car on the right side of the highway pulls up alongside them. The young couple inside urgently motion for Steve to roll down his window.)

Steve: What do *they* want? (Rolls down window.)

Young Couple (looking very frightened): YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!!!

Steve and John (shouting back): WHAT?

Young Couple: YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!!!!

John (to Steve): Eh, ignore them. How would *they* know where we're going?

Hee hee!

-- Anonymous, June 24, 2000


This will immediately label me as a geek, but what the hell:

Star Wars, A New Hope, Stormtrooper to Obi-Wan: "We'll need to see your identification."

Obi-Wan: *does cool hand wavy-thing* "You don't need to see any identification." *Stormtrooper repeats line, and waves him and Luke on*

For some reason, that scene always makes me break out into a goofy, uncontrollable grin. I just love it. It's even better that Obi- Wan turns out to be such a dish in his early years. Meow!

Other great lines are (if I can remember 'em):

Singin' In The Rain, Lina Lamont: "And I keeent' steen 'im!" (translated: And I can't stand him. She has the most god-awful voice)

"Because I just went GAY all of a sudden!" (Cary Grant, on why he is in a fluffy women's robe in Bringing Up Baby. And yes, the movie was made in 1938)

My Fair Lady's Eiza Doolittle, at Ascot: "Come on Dovah! Move yer bloomin' arse!"

I'm sure there are lots more, but I've seen so many movies I can't remember all the lines. These are just a few of my favorites.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000


"I'm not even supposed to BE here today!
"Cute cat. What's its name?" "Annoying customer"
"Chicks with dicks that put mine to shame."
"No dealing!" "I'm not dealing." "You selling?" "Yeah, man. Watcha want?"
"My love for you is like a truck BERSERKER! Would you like some making fuck BERSERKER!" "Did he say 'making fuck'?"
Ah, I could go on all day about the brilliance that is "Clerks".

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

At last, someone mentioned a Kevin Smith movie. I was reading the list in horror because the greatest dialogue movies of all time were *completely left out.* So here's some of mine: Chasing Amy "I just wanted to watch some TV. Then I find you wrapped around a naked rugmuncher on my couch." "Your mother's a tracer! - He's lucky I didn't put my pen through his thorax. Fucking cock-knocker!" "What's a nubian?" - "Black rage!!!" "You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being." "Well, can't I just tell everyone that all you needed was a serious deep dicking?"

And, of course, the Princess Bride and When Harry Met Sally Quotes from above...

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000


Mickey Rourke in Barfly: "It's not that I don't like people. I just feel so much better when they're not around."

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000

Mine is from _Who Framed Roger Rabbitt_:

Jessica Rabbitt: "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way."

The Grammarqueen The Semicolon; Confessions of a Grammarqueen

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2000


from Gattaca:

Jerome: "There is more vodka in this piss than there is piss!"

- - -

Eugene: "I'm bored of talking to you. I'm bored. I'll call you back."

- - -

(Vincent and Anton are swimming, and Anton starts to panic.)

Anton: Vincent, where's the shore? We're too far out. We have to go back!

Vincent: It's too late for that, we're closer to the other side.

Anton: What other side?! How far do you want to go? Do you want to drown us both?

Vincent: You want to know how I did it, Anton? This is how I did it. I never saved anything for the swim back.

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000


"Alas, what sad times are these when passing ruffians will say 'Nee!' at will to old ladies!"
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"I have what the doctors call a little bit of a weight problem."
-Tommy Boy

"Harriet, sweet Har-I-ET. Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis."
-So I Married an Axe Murderer

"By the way, I love the suit."
-Silence Of The Lambs

"Dont blame it on the movies, Sid! Movies dont make psychos; Movies just make psychos more creative!" -Scream

"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."
-Airplane
-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

I just say "Me Myself and Irene" this weekend, so my NEW favorite quote is:

HANK: "Just becuase I rock doesn't mean I'm made of stone"

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000


From Threesome: "Eddie, if you don't get sex soon, what's gonna happen is your dick is gonna get smaller and smaller and smaller until finally it just shrivels up, goes up inside your body, and then what have you got? A vagina."

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

better?

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

I saw Chicken Run this weekend and the best lines in the movie are:

Mrs. Tweedy: Chicken goes in (points to machine), pie comes out
Mr. Tweedy: What kind of pie?
Mrs. Tweedy: Apple Pie
Mr. Tweedy: Oh, that's me favorite!
Mrs. Tweedy: CHICKEN PIE YOU IDIOT!

Okay so it might be a little more funny if you say it in a British accent. Maybe you should just see the movie

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

American Beauty: "You little slut! You've got a crush on him. You want to have, like, a million of his babies."

American Beauty: That's....what....you....think! (I've seen that movie an unsuitable number of times.)

Swingers: "What, is someone going to step to you, Snoop Dog?"

Fletch: "He's an impressive 6'5", with the Afro 6'9"..."

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000


ohmygod...TWO DOLLARS, I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS. i always say that and no one ever gets it...heh.

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

I still don't get it. What movie is it from?

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000

My brother and I have full coversations in movie dialogue... amusing, especially since I rarely go see movies. But some long-time favorites inclue:

"Is he dark, Michael? Michael, is he clean? I want to see him!" -- Swingers

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner" -- Dirty Dancing (I died laughing when TBS was using this line as an advert for it, because it'd been cracking us up for a decade)

"Hey dudes!" and "Feeling a little queasy? Howzibout a nice, greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?" -- Weird Science

"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again." -- Silence of the Lambs

"Luke!" "Carrie!" -- Star Wars (blooper)

"Hey Navin, I wrapped your sammich in cellophane, jus' the way you like it" and "I don't need one other thing, not one oth- I need this!" and "This guy ran the other pizza-in-a-cup guy out of business." -- The Jerk (We'll actually sing the Thermos Song and do the entire "I don't need" dialogue, but space prevents me from including it all....)

"I like it black... like my men" and "Excuse me, stewardess, I speak jive." -- Airplane

"Can you dig it? Can you dig it? I KNEW you could!" and "I spend a lot of time tryin' to get my hair to look good, and what does he do? He hits it. He hits my hair" and "Al Paccino... I look like Alllll Paccino!" -- Saturday Night Fever

Merely a small sample.

And yeah, "Two dollars! I want my two dollars!" I thought no one else knew that one! (FYI, it's from the old John Cusack movie, "Better Off Dead")

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000


"This is the only way that you can hope to survive. Because Life is not a Movie...everyone lies...good guys loose...and love, does not conquer all" -Buddy Ackerman (Kevin Spacey), Swimming with Sharks.

"Your Happy! I hate that!" - Buddy Ackerman (Kevin Spacey), Swimming with Sharks.

"You want something from me? You...want something...from me?" - Chris Sabien (Kevin Spacey), The Negotiator.

"The greatest trick the devil every played..was convincing the world he didn't exist" - Verbal Kent (Kevin Spacey), The Usual Suspects.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000


I love the "anarchy" quote from The Breakfast Club!

St. Elmo's Fire
Jules: Don't you enjoy anything anymore, like girls---?
Kevin: I enjoy being afraid of Russia. It's a harmless fear, but it makes America feel better, Russia gets an inflated sense of national worth from our paranoia. How's that?

Kevin: Marriage is a concept invented by people who were lucky to make it to 20 without being eaten by dinosaurs. Marriage is extinct.

Ferris Bueller's Day OffBR> While I do prefer the quote where he talks about having to be jealous of Cameron's piece of shit car, I couldn't find it on IMDB. I did find this one, which is almost as good.
Ferris Bueller: I did have a test today. That wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European, I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. That still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism - he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe in Beatles - I just believe in me". A good point there. Of course, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus - I'd still have to bum rides off of people.

HEAD
HEAD is a movie made by the Monkee's in 1968 in an attempt to break away from their pre-fab image. It was also the first movie Jack Nicholson wrote. I am a huge Monkee fan. Don't mind me:)
Peter Tork:Well, let me tell you one thing son: nooooobody ever lends money to a man with a sense of humor.

Some Like It Hot
(My favorite movie quote ever:)
Jerry: You don't understand, Osgood! Aaah... I'm a man! Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect.

The Graduate
(My favorite movie of all time.) There are a ton more that I love, but these are the best.
Benjamin Braddock: Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me... aren't you?

Mr. McGuire: I just want to say one word to you... just one word. Benjamin Braddock: Yes, sir. Mr. McGuire: Are you listening? Benjamin Braddock: Yes, sir I am. Mr. McGuire: "Plastics."

Room Clerk: Are you here for an affair? Benjamin: What? Room Clerk: The Singleman party? Benjamin: Ah, yes, the Singleman party.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000


Here are some of my favorites...

Clerks - full of great quotes! ------------------------------

Randal: I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule.

Customer: It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

Also, the whole scene in the beginning where Dante and Veronica are bickering - Veronica: You wanna know how many people I've slept with? Dante: I don't know - do I get to hit you after you tell me?

Airplane! - one of my all time favorite movies ----------------------------------------------

Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit [smoking, drinking, amphetamines, sniffing glue]!

Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence. Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?

Elaine: May I offer you something to read, ma'am? Passenger: Oh, yes - do you have something light? Elaine: How about this leaflet - "Famous Jewish Sports Legends"?

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000


From "Somewhere in Time" - (an oldie but a goodie)

Jane Seymour's character: "I am NOT a doormat.. do NOT attempt to wipe your boots on me!"

Man, I love that.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2000


I am going to have a huge video rental bill this weekend. You people are making me laugh.

I have to include this bit from Clerks.

Veronica: Something like, 36.

Dante: What? Something like 36???? Does that include me?

Veronica: Ummmm, 37.

Dante: I'm 37!!!!

and later......

Dante: Try not to suck any dicks on your way to the parking lot!

God, I love that line.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


I'm going to leave out a ton here and may I add that everyone of these movies has about a million great quotes:) I also don't know all of them perfectly.

American Beauty (Kevin Spacey): "I rule!" "Today I blackmailed my boss for (I can never remember the amount). Pass the asparagus." "You don't get to tell me what to do ever again."

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (Matthew Broderick): "A) We're not gonna get caught and B) if we are, it's not gonna be by a guy like that" "It's pretty stupid and pointless, but then again, so is high school"

Princess Bride (Cary Elwes): "Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while"

Empire Records (Lucas): "Always play with their minds"

The Empire Strikes Back: Leia "I love you" Han "I know"

Clerks (Kevin Smith, and I know I'm getting this wrong): "Chicks come and chicks go but how many of them are going to bring you lasagne?"

Monty Python's Holy Grail (Eric Idle): "Now we see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

A Fish Called Wanda (Kevin Kline): "Oh no! KKKen's KKKoming to KKKill me!" "Asshole!" (Jamie Lee Curtis): "Oh right, to call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!"

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


Just me, plugging away again... Movie Quote Trivia.

Contest ends on September First.
There will be a prize, though I have no clue what it'll be yet. I'll prolly ask the winner if they have an amazon wish list, and if they do, I'll prolly buy something off that.

So. Go play! (New quote with every entry. Leading person only has two points so far! There's still PLENTY of time to catch up.)

As for more favorites?

Better Off Dead: "Buck up little camper. We'll beat this slope... together."



-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

- "These aren't the droids you're looking for."

- " is a VERY attractive man."

- "There's just one thing to do. Toga!"

- "There's just one thing to do. Road trip!"

- "I think Americans are a very violent people." "What makes you think that?" "Well, you have all those shootings over there."

"Oh, SHOOTINGS - we're not more violent than other people, we're just better shots."

re the last, whatever happened to Whit Stillman?

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


one line in the last should have read

"(John Cleese's character) is a VERY attractive man"

I used angle brackets by mistake.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


Not accurate but you get the gist. Clint Eastwood movie : "Aint ya gunna bury him?" Clint: "Nope, buzzards gotta eat.. same as worms."

Shawshank Redemption: "Get busy livin or get busy dyin."

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


"Singles"

What took you so long!

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


From my all time favorite, most underrated movie ever, The Ref
Lloyd (Kevin Spacey): Tell you what, Mom. Next year for Christmas we're going to get you a big old cross so whenever you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices you can climb on up and nail yourself to it!
Caroline (Judy Davis): (describing her dream where her salad is Lloyd's head with his penis in his ear) The waiter says "Don't eat the penis. It's just garnish."

Oooh, and In and Out

Peter (Tom Selleck): What was Barbara Streisand's eighth album?
Howard (Kevin Kline): Color Me Barbra.
Peter: Stud!
Howard: Everybody knows that!
Peter: Everybody where? The little gay bar on the prairie?

And the whole scene with the tape teaching him to be straight.

This might be my favorite forum topic yet.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


You know, it matters whether the slash or the "b" goes first.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

Oh my god, I thought i was the only one who liked Swimming With Sharks. Kevin Spacey is amazing in that.

Save that candy stripe shit for the Wall Street wimps.

Buddy: Where the fuck are you going?

Guy: To the bathroom, I need to go.

Buddy: Well let's stop talking about what you need and start talking about what I need. I need you here, and get me on another fucking call.

Could list a dozen off this movie alone.

Oh, and The Ref.

I get to yell, you know why? Because I have a gun! Married people, with no guns (pause) You people, do NOT get to yell. Why? NO GUNS! No guns, no yelling, simple little quiz.

Don't get me started. Oh, and it was a big wooden cross, not a big old cross. Why do i know these things?

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


from Glory Daze: (Ben Affleck, French Stuat, Alyssa Milano...)

Slosh:"Hey, we got free pizza and beer. Why don't you get off my nuts?"

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, when the guy drinks from the cup and then his entire face gets sandblasted away, all the blood runs out of his body, and his withered bones get blown into the gaping abyss:

"He chose.... poorly."

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


Sleepless in Seattle--

Annie--"You know that dream where you're walking down the street naked?

Becky--"I LOVE that dream!"

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


I'm so thrilled there's another Ref fan out there, I couldn't care less about screwing up the quote!

I won't get this one exactly right, either, but after Denis Leary knocks them over in the chairs:

"You saw the stop sign, didn't you, Lloyd? You saw the stop sign. That means that you, too, are a liar. Capital L little I, little A, little R, liar."

My husband and I use that one nigh daily. To be honest, Swimming with Sharks didn't do it for me, but I think I might just have been in the wrong mood when I watched it. Probably worth another viewing one of these days.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


From Sleepless In Seattle: "When someone is a widower, why do they say he was widowed? Why don't they say he was widowered?"

From City of Angels: "Some things are true whether you believe them or not."

From The Rage: Carrie 2: "Sometimes I just wish I could be one of the shiny, happy people."

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

All of mine are from an old Jack Nicholson Western called Goin' South:

Female gang member to her former lover Nicholson, who's about to be hung: "You was the best, Henry... ceptin' for that one circus feller."

Nicholson to the old biddies who visited him and his bride in their shack, bringing a wedding gift of a fancy porcelain shepherdess: "A figurine! Why, me and the missus was just sayin' we needed a figurine!"

And the very best was during the first meal with his new bride. She's very fastidious, and he's a complete pig, loudly slurping down some boiled chicken with great gusto, licking his fingers, and finishing with an eyebrow waggling leer: "How's about a little dessert?"

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000


I LOVE EMPIRE RECORDS! Thank you to whoever reminded me of it!! I love all the quotes, but, again, these are just a few of the best:

Lucas: Warren, lets take a look at what you took. (holds up CDs as he talks) rap, metal, rap, metal...Whitney Houston.
Warren: It was for my girlfriend.
Lucas: You know, someone like you needs to diminish their criminal impulses, not magnify them. Maybe some jazz or some classical.
Warren: Maybe you bite me.

A.J.: What's with you? Yesterday you were normal and today you're like the Chinese guy from the Karate Kid. What's with you today?
Lucas: What's with today today?

[Answering the phone.Mark:(Answering the phone.) Empire Records, open 'til midnight, this is Mark. (pause) Midnight.

Lucas: Joe, is it O.K. if I leave the couch? 'Cause I'm gonna leave the couch now, okay? My ass is falling asleep, so I gotta go. I'm leaving.

Gina:(Wearing nothing but a Musictown apron) I really think Musictown is torn on the revealing garment issue.

(Reading Musictown list of rules)
Debra: No visible tatoos.
Gina: No revealing clothing.
Debra: We're both screwed. At least you're used to it.


-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000


"Oil can."

"Oil can what?"

I hadn't seen the Wizard of Oz in about 20 years; saw it again a few years ago and just about wet myself when I heard that.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000


From "Superstar"...

Father Ritley: And what was it that you said to Sister Maureen?
Mary Katherine Gallager: I told her ... I told her to move her big white butt or I'd have to pop a cap in her honky ass.

Father Ritley: Mary! Evian! Stop that! .... AAAH!


From "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation"...

((dog hacking under table))
Clark: Eddie, there's something wrong with the dog.
Eddie: ((looking under table)) Nah, he's just yackin' on a bone. ((dog vomits)) He got it up. He's all right now.

Aunt Bethany: Is this the airport, Clark?
Clark: No, Aunt Bethany.
Aunt Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?
Clark: No, those are Christmas lights, Aunt Bethany.
Aunt Bethany: You know, this house is bigger than your old one.
Clark: ((opening door)) We're home!
Ellen: ((taking presents from Aunt Bethany)) Oh, Aunt Bethany. You know, you shouldn't have done that.
Aunt Bethany: Oh, dear. Did I break wind?
Uncle Louis: Did the room clear out? Geez, Bethany. Hell, no. She meant presents. You shouldn't have brought presents.
Aunt Bethany: Well, it isn't every day someone moves into a new house.
Uncle Louis: They didn't move into a new house!

Aunt Bethany: Do you hear that? It's a funny squeaky sound.
Uncle Louis: You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitrogyclerin plant.

Clark: ((opening "bonus" from his boss)) It's a year-long membership to the Jelly-of-the-Month Club.
Eddie: Clark, that's the gift that keeps on givin' the whole year.


From "Back to the Future"...

Daughter (I can never remember her name): Oh, mom, there's nothing wrong with calling a boy.
Lorraine: I think it's ridiculous! Girls, chasing boys! When I was your age, I never called a boy, or kissed a boy, or ... sat in a parked car with a boy.
Daughter: Yeah, well... how am I ever going to meet anybody?
Lorraine: It'll just happen. Like the way I met your father.
Daughter: That was so stupid! Grandpa hit him with the car!
Lorraine: It was meant to be. And if Grandpa hadn't hit him, then none of you would have been born.
Daughter: Well, I still don't know what Dad was doing in that tree, anyway.
Lorraine: What was it you were doing, George? Bird-watching?
George: What, Lorraine? What?
Lorraine: Grandpa brought him in the house. He looked so helpless, like a little lost puppy, and my heart just went out him.
Daughter: We know, Mom, you've told us the story a million times. You felt sorry for him, so you decided to go with him, to the Fish Under the Sea dance.
Lorraine: "No, no. It was the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. Our first date. Your father kissed me for the very first time on that dance floor. It was then that I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
George: ((oblivious, cracking up at Jackie Gleason))


You know, it's sad that I have most of "Christmas Vacation" and all of "Back to the Future" memorized.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

The Full Monty

Dave:Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is not.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000


Tommy Boy
David Spade: I need a flight to Chicago, right now.
Airport Girl: I can get you a flight back from Chicago at 4:00. Does that help?
David Spade: Hi. I'm earth. Have we met?
Airport Girl: I don't think so.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

The Green Mile, after a really disturbing(must...avoid...spoiler...) scene: "What in the name of sweet blue fuck was that?

Ghostbusters: "Listen....smell something?"

Chicken Run: "We snuck in..." "Like a fish."

Gattaca: Smarmy Guy: "...and you're not tall enough." Ethan: "(to guy in a wheelchair) How tall are you?" Jude: "Four-foot-six."

Grosse Pointe Blank: "Psychopaths kill people for no reason. I do it for money.

-- Anonymous, July 01, 2000


Empire Records: I don't feel the need to explain my art to you, Warren" "...1:37 exactly."

Bambi: "He can call me a flower, if he wants tooo"

Great Balls of fire: Jerry(Dennis Quaid): Here comes the creepy mouse..."

-- Anonymous, July 06, 2000


Ahh, Kevin Smith movies...the spice of life.

Clerks: Randal:"You're not allowed to rent here anymore!" Jay:(outside the window, interrupting Randal) "YYEEEAAAAHHHHH!!" ---- Dante:"I'm Thirty-Seven!?" ---- Randal:"I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule" ---- Randal:"Which did you like better, Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back?" Dante:"Empire" Randal:"Blasphemy" Dante:"Empire had the better ending. Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father...Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett, it ends on such a down note. And that's what life is, a series of down endings." ----- Mallrats: Brodie:"This is the dirt mall, this is the last place the cops will look for us" ---- Willam:"When the hell do I get to see the god damn sailboat!?" ---- Brodie:"Shall I call you Logan, Weapon X?" Jay:"No, WOLVERINE! SCHNIKITY, SCHNIKITY, SHANK" Brodie:"What he's doing is imitating Wolverine's berzerker attack using his adamantium claws."

Okay, that's enough...i could go on like this for days...

-- Anonymous, August 07, 2000


MALLRATS: Kids (girl): What's he doing, mommy? Mom: well, if you look at this picture for a few seconds, you can see a picture. Kids:Can we do it? Please, Please? Mom: Okay, but make it quick! The easter bunny is waiting. Kids (girl): Wow, a schooner! Willam: You stupid bastard. It's not a schooner, it's a sailboat. Kids (boy): A schooner is a sailboat, Stupidhead! Willam (a few seconds later): You know what? There is no easter bunny! Over there, that's just a guy in a suit!

-- Anonymous, April 09, 2001

Used Cars- Marshal Lucky:You want The solution to inflation! Hi, friends! Marshal Lucky, here, for New Deal Used Cars, where we're battling inflation not only by fighting high prices, not only by murdering high prices, but by blowing the living shit out of high prices. What you see before you is a 1973 Cadillac Coupe De'vil for $6,249. That price is too high.(He fires three shotgun blasts into the windshield and one into the right headlight).Yes, sir! Announcer: Look out, Marshal Lucky, It's High prices! Marshal Lucky: Take this you dirty old high prices! (Blows a hole through the High price guy's chest) High Prices: Aargh, ya got me, Marshal! Marshal Lucky(under his breath): Jesus Christ. Marshal Lucky: Yessir! Now look over here! This is a 1973 Lincoln Continental-Mark 4-Loaded AC-White wall Round tires. It's got Power Steerin' Power Brakes Power Seats Power Windows and a price that is just too high.(He fires three shotgun blasts into the windshield and one into the right headlight, the hood lifts up). Yessir. So remember friends, thats... Now wait just a goddamn minute what the hell is this! Is this a 1977 Mercedes with 450 SL for $24,000? That's too fuckin' high!(Marshal Lucky turns the switch on his detonator and the car explodes.) Yes sir! So remember friends, that's New Deal Used Cars. So come on down, Did ya hear what I said? (TV's switch back to President) President: I have heard you, with unmistakable clarity.

-- Anonymous, April 09, 2001

Commando - Welcome back, John... so glad you could make it... - If Matrix were here, he'd laugh, too

Matrix - I know Kung Fu...

Weird Science - So 'ow come two unpopular dicks like you... is 'aving a party?...

-- Anonymous, April 09, 2001


"people say nothing is forever. if that is true what about herpes, or the Greatful Dead. I say forever is for anyone that has the balls to make it last" "its a bitch about getting older. you doing throw yourself into friendships like you use to. thats a shame." "fuck it! one more ride on the merry-go-round slick. i'll pay you tuesday" "and thats me, Jack, happy-go-fucking-lucky since the day i was born. yeah, the salad days are starting to unwind, and i'm not sure but, i think i hate it!" BEN AFFLECK from GLORY DAZE

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2001

Clerks... i love that movie?

What's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

-- Anonymous, March 11, 2002


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