I the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

* I do physical labour * I work at great depths * I work head first * I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays * I work in a damp environment * I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation * I work in high temperatures * My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Response from the administration:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

* You do not work 8 hours straight * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods * You do not always follow the orders of the management team * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas * You take a lot of non-rostered breaks * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working * You leave the workplace in a mess at the end of your shift * You don't always observe H&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits * You don't wait till pension age before retiring * You don't like working double shifts * You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work * And as if that was not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

Answers

Bloody formatting :((

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000