Do you fight about the toilet seat? The toilet paper? The toothpaste? Leaving the goddamn cupboard doors open after he gets his cereal? Share with the group.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

Answers

ALL THE TIME! He leaves his towel on the floor (I hate this). He doesn't understand the point in making the bed. He leaves the coffee pot on after there's no coffee left in it. I can't stand the way he does dishes, and he drinks right out of a 2-liter and doesn't fasten the lid.

But the worst is this: He borrows my toothbrush and leaves it in the shower. I really hate this, especially since I always discover it first thing in the morning, when it really wouldn't take much to piss me off.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

The dumbest fight my husband and I have is over toilet paper. He says I use too much. Right before we left to visit my parents we had a huge blow up about it. A couple of days into the visit, my mother came out of the bathroom and said she needed to add toilet paper to her grocery list. My father piped up and said "Of course, Susan is visiting." My husband was in his glory!!!!!

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

Snoring. In the middle of the night, after one has been awakened by snoring and the other has been awakened by the former whispering "Psst! You're snoring like a truck!" neither of us is feeling very friendly.

We'll get into stupid arguments over the whole thing. Sometimes the snarkiness carries over and we're both grumpy the next morning. It's only later in the morning that we'll realize, "This is just stupid!"

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

He leaves the freaking cereal boxes open. Once I told him I found a huge roach in the Corn Pops. He was grossed out but went back to leaving them open a week later.

He leaves the cabinets open. He leaves his dirty dishes everywhere. He WILL NOT rinse the ketchup or milk off his dishes when he puts them in the sink. Then later the shit's all crusted up for me to scrape off. He puts the soap on the sink instead of in the special little freaking soap dish. Melted soap is everywhere. He never puts the portable phone on the hook, so the battery dies while I'm right in the middle of an exciting conversation in the middle of the night.

We can't ever leave to go out of town or even on a day trip without him taking forever to get ready. He badgers us until we're all fully dressed, SITTING IN THE VAN, READY TO GO. And then he has to check the oil. And then he has to unlock the door and go inside and print out something on the computer. And then he has to call the auto-parts store. And then he has to remove my boot from his slow, annoying ass.

Of course I do annoying things, too. I leave the clothes in the washer long after they're done. I make too many long-distance phone calls for far too long.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

The most stupid argument of all time we had was when we agreed on the same point, but kept arguing anyway. I think it was on how to arrive at the conclusion, whatever it was.

Sounds weird, but possible.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

My boyfriend will wad wet towels into the bathroom sink when he's taking a shower, instead of putting them on a towel rack. It drives me crazy, especially when he starts asking me, "Why do all our towels smell like mildew?"

I swear, repeated discussion has not stopped this at all. He's just gotten sneakier about it, and will put the towels on the towel rack before I get home from work. They still smell like mildew, of course.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

Our all time stupidest fights: what and where to eat.

"What do you want?"
"I dunno. You pick something. I'm starving; I'll eat whatever you want."
"Well, I don't know. What do you want?"
"I. don't. care. Anything."
"How about Chinese?"
"Nah, not Chinese. I had that for lunch."
"Well, then, what do you want?"
"I don't care. Anything."
"Okay. How about Casa de Nasty Mexican Food?"
[Sigh] "Yeah, I guess that's okay."
"Oh, try to sound more enthusiastic. Well, what do you want?"
"I said Case de Nasty Mexican Food was fine! Why are you freaking on me?"
"Well, you said it in that passive aggressive voice. I know you hate that place."
"Then why did you suggest it?"
"Fuck this. I'm going to make myself a sandwich."
"Fine."

(Pause.)

"So, do you want to get a pizza?"
"Yes!"
"Cool. Where do you want to go?"

Arrghhhhhh.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

Y'know Beth ... that sounds _exactly_ like Sabs n' me.

We also argue about keeping the house clean, although Sabs has mysteriously become much more rigorous about doing chores now that we've moved.

It's weird I tell you, all of a sudden he's all like "Yeah, we should do that 'cos we need to get it done." *boggle* Who are you and what did you do with my Sabs?

In the past, we've argued endlessly about the following:

1) Money (mostly what to spend it on and the fact that it's gone.)

2) Where to go to eat

3) Cleaning up after ourselves (his bathrobe and clothing on the floor by the bed, my socks in the living room, his bags of chips in the computer room, my glasses of milk ... everywhere)

4) Folding the laundry

5) Driving directions. We've had some of our worst fights on the road while getting lost and unlost. I'm amazed we made it from Alexandria, VA to Berkeley, CA in one piece ... without arguing _once_.

6) The best though, are the arguments about things that quote unquote "never happened". IE _I_ remember them and _he_ doesn't. Your best guess as to whose memory is better overall ....

7) Related to that "I distinctly remember telling you XYZ" and the other person can't remember the conversation for the life of (mostly) him. Sometimes her too. And that's a whole other argument waiting to happen.

8) He leaves stuff out on the table after dinner. I don't rinse my dishes enough to please him. We disagree about whether or not you should ever leave the windows of the car open.

Thankfully, we don't argue about any of these things _often_. In fact, our arguments have been relatively fewer since we moved, even with the stress of moving.

I think I was really miserable in Virginia. And as Sabs points out, we argue more often when I'm upset.... hmmm.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

Sean and I never fight. We bicker.

We bicker because I think he doesn't love my dog. He claims he does, but I don't know how he can say he loves the dog when the dog isn't allowed to kiss Sean on the mouth. He also calls the dog "stupid" right to his face! This may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but I think if Sean is going to call Zubie stupid, he should at least have the decency to do it behind Zubie's back. He also doesn't understand how I can spend $50 at Petco on dog toys. It's very simple. Zubie is a Great Dane. He goes through toys quickly, and he has a very short attention span (but he is NOT stupid) so it takes a lot of toys to keep him occupied.

On the other hand, *I* don't understand why I have to contort myself into strange positions in bed because he won't move his cat. His cat sleeps between us. His cat is very small, yet manages to take up half the bed. Sean takes up the other half, so where does that leave me? Scrunched up in a ball on the very edge of the bed, that's where. He gets really pissy if I try to move Stanley, and starts whining about how his poor kitty was comfortable, and then he starts talking in this weird voice to the cat..."Was Mommy mean to kitty- ums, hmmmmm? Did mean old Mommy make kitty-kins sleep on the chair with the big, stupid dog?" It's cute when I talk to Zubie like that, but utterly annoying when he talks to his cat like that. :)

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

How much money do I have to pay my SO to put his laundry in the hamper? I've asked him three times this week. Nothing is working.

We also had a huge fight over the arrangement of the livingroom. I finally gave up and just went to bed, then while he was at work today, I moved it around the way I wanted it. Ha.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

Ok, this is how the majority of our arguments go. He says one thing, I ask a more specific question, he changes his answers, etc. He would kill me if he actually read this thread, luckily he doesn't!

Last week we finally took Oscar to the vet and started him on Frontline. Before that, we had a wee bit of a flea problem. Our phone conversation:

"Erin, we need to keep Oscar outside until we start him on the medicine. I am covered in flea bites."

"You're COVERED in flea bites?"

"Yes, my crotch is covered in flea bites."

"Why the hell are they all on your crotch?"

"Well, not my crotch, they're on my legs. Covered."

"If you're covered in bites, why haven't I even gotten one bite yet?"

"Well, not covered. I have a good many bites, though."

"So why haven't I even been bitten once? I'm in the house as much as you."

"Well, okay, not a lot, just a few."

"A few?"

"Well, okay, I have two on my knee. My point is, we need to get that medicine and keep him outside."

We live with one other person so any house fights usually end up in a pairing of Tom and I against our other roommate. I'm sure the house squabbles will start up once we get our own place.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

We hardly ever fight about household things. We solve them by the way we divide up chores. I use more toilet paper. Fine - I pay for all of it. He has a special way of folding his clothes. Fine - he folds all his own clothes. I'm picky about how the bed is made. Fine - I always make the bed. I don't care if the toilet seat is up so that takes care of that.

Occasionally he gets annoyed at me because I, as he puts it, cover every horizontal surface with my stuff. It's true, I do.

Recently we had a big arguement about the size of a caber - you know, those things that Scotsmen toss at Scottish games. I said they're the size of a telephone pole and he says no way, they're much smaller. We even happened to go to some Scottish games a couple of weeks ago. There were some cabers lying around. He said, "See? You can see they're way smaller than telephone pole." I said "No way - they're ths same size!"

I can see this one isn't going to go away.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

My girl friend and I have known each other for 3 years and have been together for one. Just last week I took her to a Round Rock Express baseball game because we both enjoy baseball. During the coarse of the game she starting complaing of being hungry and thirsty, and I asked if she would like to go get something with me. She said "No, but would you?" well great...so here I go... I grab a bag of peanuts and a large Dr. Pepper and return to my seat. During the next 3 innings she clears the peanuts and drinks almost all of our Dr. Pepper. Well by now, after watching HER eat, and getting a small appitizer from the few peanuts I eat, I decided I wanted some food of my own. I asked if she would like to go with me to the Lone Star Cafe in right field and she sadi "Sure"...This is were our troubles began.

Ok so you have to understand I am basically starving by now.

After what seemed like a damn eternity of waiting in line we made it to the front. And not once while in line did we speak of food, but only of stuff like the game, her hair, her nails and other B.S.!

I ordered chicken stripes and a drink. She stood right beside me and said nothing. I got my food and we sat down together. After eating 1 chicken strip, she stands up and says I gonna go walk around. "OK" and I continue eating..... She walks out of site.....I finish eating...after not being able to find her for a couple of min. i figured she went back to our seats and sure-enough she did.

This girl was pissed. Not just mad, but livid. We got into a damn argument at the baseball game because I didn't take into consideration that she was still hungry. I said "when i ordered my food why didn't you say anything?" she said "Its your job to worry about me"...i said "when we sat down why didn't you grab a piece" she said "because you didn't offer it"...now thats bullshit...she steals my damn fries at Wendy's all the time and I don't say a damn thing about it.... Whats mine is hers...

To make a long story remotely short....she barely spoke to me for the rest of the evening, except for the screaming on the way home.. She threatened to break up with me if I ever forgot about her again, and slammed the front door in my face.

Ok ladies, just a hint....Guys were simple..if your hungry say so..or just grab we dont care.. Just don't stand there and then bitch later about it.......The problem is....I thought she filled up on peanuts any damn way.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2001

My husband brought home some porn dvds this week and suggested more than once I watch them to "boost myself esteem."

He thinks he is doing a good thing by saying that I look better than the chicks in the movies but I'd rather he show me that by paying attention to ~ME~ and not wasting his hours watching porn. If he wants to boost my self esteem some attention would be better at helping. Go figure.

Oh, and he washes all the black stuff with the towels so everything comes out covered in little bits of lint, he piles up wet wash rags next to the sink until there is a huge pile and I finally give up and toss them into the hamper, he uses a new towel every shower and sometimes he showers 3 times in a day and then complains there are no clean towels, and he bitches about his ailments all the time but does noting to make himself better and he ignores the doctors orders that might help him feel better.

Oh, and my favorite? His clothes "keep shrinking" while he tells me I need to work out.

BAH!

- t

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2001

Troy, is your girlfriend actually twelve, or does she just act like she is?

Tracy, in my own household I've deciphered that "watching this will boost your self esteem" argument as "I'm going to watch some porn now, and here's a clever thing I thought of to make you think I'm doing it for you."

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2001

Re: Troy's wonderful girlfriend.... I think one of the differences between "girls" and "women" is that girls have these unrealistic expectations based on their *own* projections. They project their wants and desires onto other people and get upset when those aren't fulfilled. They use the, "well everyone knows that X means Y" argument, which is reinforced by their other girl friends. Like, "I told him it was ok if he went out on Friday with his buddies instead of with me, but he should have known not to go. Everyone knows that, 'if you want to' really means, 'no.'"

See, Women have figured out that we guys aren't all that complex and need to be spoken to in plain english. That and women have the self confidence to, you know, order their own damned food.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

So, Troy's gf would apparently starve to death without a boyfriend to offer her food. Once again demonstrating the power of natural selection to improve the species. All right, so that was harsh. So sue me.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

We can have some truly stupid fights. Over utterly trivial things- I can't even think of a good example right now, but trust me, we wind up stopping when we start really thinking about how stupid the thing we are arguing about is.

Biggest cause of tension- he's lived alone for a long time and is rather set in his ways and a bit anal retentive. Everything must be done a certain way and since we moved in together there's been some tension over that but it's getting better. He's learned not to constantly bug me about things and I've learned to become a bit better about cleaning things up and putting things away.

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2001

Gwen: You need to explain to your husband how leaving the cereal box open will give him cancer.

Leaving the box open causes the cereal to become stale. Stale food contains elevated levels of free radicals. Free radicals cause cancer.

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2001

Some birds built a nest in a plant on our front porch. We've been fighting about this.

We both love them. I wanted to put up something to screen them from the afternoon sun, especially when it was 95 degrees the other day. He was all scornful at the very idea. I went ahead and did it anyway. He was annoyed but had to admit it didn't seem to stop the parent birds from flying in.

There were other issues on this that we fought over. I think we're a little too involved with them.

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2001

Wow. This is my third forum post today. I'm Forum Girl!

We fight about the weather. Stupid, I know. He says it is hot, I get mad and say it isn't. We fight. I'm shivering under sweaters and blankets, he's got the patio door wide open and he gets mad when I say it is freezing and he needs to shut the door now. He whines and complains endlessly about the weather. Too hot, too much rain, too gloomy, too windy. To me it is a not-that-important part of life.

We've had our worst fights about the Middle East. I'm Israel, he's Palestine. These fights can get kinda ugly. We've been known to insult each other's countries during these fights when in reality we love each other's countries. (America and Britain, btw, not Israel and Palestine.) We've learned not to talk about this subject at all after any alcohol has been consumed.

We occasionally fight over whether the other person is upset or not which is probably the stupidest of all. Me : What are you upset about? Him: I'm not upset. What makes you say that? Me : You aren't saying anything and you have that look on your face. Him: (loudly and sharply) I'm not upset! Me : If you aren't upset, why are you yelling? Him: (yelling) I'm not yelling! Etc.

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2001

Tracy, here's a little trick - if he insists on using a new towel each time, just wait until the towel is dry and then fold it back up and put it back in the linen closet. He'll always have a new towel and then on occasion you can throw them into the laundry pile so they don't get re-used 500 times.

I used to use two new towels at every shower (one for my hair and one for my body) when i lived at home and my mom did the laundry. I changed that quickly when i moved out.

Lately we fight over things that have nothing to do with anything. For example on Saturday i noticed my fiance filling the kettle with water from the hot water tap. I casually mentioned that hot water isn't filtered like cold water and that boiling doesn't mean much because you have to boil for 20 minutes or some such thing to kill bacteria. I wasn't complaining about it or stating that i wouldn't drink the coffee he was preparing, just stating a fact since it became obvious that he didn't know about the lack of filtering for hot water. Instead it turned into a big hooplah and we were mad at each other for quite some time that day.

It's so stupid sometimes when you start to calm down and you backtrack and realize what mundane thing set things off in the first place.

Lately i also find myself annoyed because of dishes. I used to have a habit of not rinsing my plates very well on occasions where we weren't doing dishes right after dinner. He told me i should rinse better so that it was easier to wash them later. Realizing he had a very valid point i started doing it religiously. Guess who no longer rinses his plates?

Sigh.

-- Anonymous, June 04, 2001

We fight over the kitchen towels. He does two things with them, both of which irritate me:

1. He leaves them on the counter, spread out flat, so they never dry. 2. He leaves them on a burner on the stove, where they can catch fire and burn the house down.

For some reason that I cannot fathom, he refuses to hang them on the towel bar. He says they dry better on the counter! (what?!)

He hangs up his bathroom towel, just not the kitchen towel.

UGH!

-- Anonymous, June 04, 2001