This is what my parents would ask me, like, every five seconds when I was a teenager. I think now it was because they could not understand my perspective at all. Tonight, in the car, I wanted to ask this same question of my husband. (Understand that the following conversation is played with complete sincerity. He wasn't kidding.)

Me: I'm feeling so low. Like my life isn't going anywhere. Everything seems so pointless and banal. I want something to happen, but I also don't want to go to any effort. I think I might be depressed. Maybe I should go to see somebody about this.

My husband: I think you can turn it around. Everyone goes through these periods in their lives.

Me: Do you think?

My husband: Of course. Like in Superman III.

Me: Superman III?

My husband: He turned it around. Superman had to do it for himself. It's the same thing. Excpet in your case the fate of the planet doesn't rest on your shoulders. But otherwise it's the same . . .

Me: Superman III?

My husband: Do you want to rent a movie?

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2000

Answers

So, of course, the *question* is: what are your expereinces with other people's sincere, yet insane/unhelpful attempts to understand your position.

I should not be allowed on the computer in the middle of the night.

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2000

Sask, realize one thing: men are genetically programmed to want to solve problems, preferably simply and quickly. Women want to talk about our problems and ruminate and hash things out, and they want to quote Superman III to you, pat you on the head, and breathe an inward sigh of relief that they've been so helpful.

They can't help it, poor things.

(BTW: If you really want to talk out your problem/feelings with your husband, tie him to the couch and force him to have a few drinks and then make him listen to you without saying anything for at least twenty minutes. Tell him that if he offers you any facile solutions you will tickle him senseless.

And, as for feeling depressed/low: it's never a bad idea to go and see somebody. Doesn't mean you immediately have to have electro-shock treatment or anything. And remember, part of the joy of being female is the fabulous hormonal changes that make us periodically insane.)

It's 5 a.m. I shouldn't be allowed near a computer either.

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2000

Even though I can't really answer this question here, I hear you, sask. Instead I'll just take this time to THANK GOD that I have a few friends who *don't* seem to be on drugs.

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2000

My husband always (jokingly) says I'm schizophrenic, which makes me mad because I hate it when people who don't know what schizophrenia actually is use it as a replacement for 'split personalities.'

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2000

Yeah, everyone assumes "schizo" means "multiple personality disorder". I hate that.

And so do I. :-)

(got any problems you want me to solve? i can't help it, i'm just a man...)

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2000

Paul honey, there just isn't anything better than a man who really CAN solve a problem, so you just keep on tryin'. :-)

(I knew I should post at 5 a.m....)

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2000

Oh, Sask, I know where you are coming from. I spent my college years spinning in and out of clinical depression. People tried to be helpful but thier glib advice always made me feel gulty that I couldn't will my state of mind back to "normal". Of course I have no idea if you are just having a bad time or are pathologically melancholy but either way it helps to find someone impartial to talk to, someone who will just listen. Loved ones usually do their best but (my favorite cliche) the road to hell is paved with good intentions. One thing that has always helped me (aside from the miracle of modern pharmaceuticals) has been reading. A well written memoir of mental illness has always been a comfort to me, even if the author's problems were nothing like my own.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

Is this the Rules board?

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

Mock, are you on drugs?! What kind of question was that?

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

Huh? Are you from Venus?

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

Yes I am! Are you from Mars?

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

I knew it! This is the Rules board! Now quit stereotyping the genders and go get some ice cream. You're "genetically programmed" to want it. Good for the silicone boobs, too.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

Eek! This was meant to be a somewhat fun topic. I would like to say thanks to the people who expressed concern. I am feeling a little low, but I'm not certain if it's due to circumstances, a predisposition to depression, or maybe a big let-down in hormones after a year and a half of pregnancy/birth/nursing.

I do reject the notion that men and women can't communicate. Certainly what we have here is not an example of somebody who was expressing their desire to solve problems, unless by "solve problems" you mean "provide hardly applicable example from poorly written and badly acted sci-fi". Which, come to think of it, my partner does seem to be hard-wired to do.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

I kind of tend to agree that people are more societally programmed than genetically programmed for many behaviors. Sex roles especially.

Other than that, I also find it distasteful when people act snotty and superior just because they disagree with someone. Doesn't add anything to the convo, IMO.

One Shiva's opinion.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2000

I suppose I did come off as snotty and superior. Suki and I go way back and we were sharing a private joke. Sorry if it appeared to be something else.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

Yeah, I'm sorry if anyone took us seriously. Maybe we should institute the *S for "sarcasm" to let people know we are just joking around.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

Rock and roll, y'all.

As for being snotty: it just goes to show that it takes one to know one. :)

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000