Do you consider yourself a moral person? Are there things that are considered "immoral" that you think aren't so bad? Do you believe that there is one set of correct morals sanctioned by higher powers, or that everyone makes up his or her own?

Is sex outside of marriage immoral? How about stealing office supplies? How about making fun of people? What about bigotry? Sloth? Impunctuality?

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Answers

Oh, damn, Gwen, now you've made me go and *think*.

My morality is based on the line that doctors are supposed to live by: "First, do no harm." I try very hard not to hurt others. That means, sex outside of marriage is not necessarily immoral; it *is* immoral when one of the sexual partners is married to someone else who would be hurt by his or her spouse's actions. Stealing is immoral. So is murder. As for the higher power thing, the serious practitioners of the religion in which I was brought up believe I'm going straight to hell. (I'll find out sometime, I guess!) I have much more of a live-and- let-live attitude towards my fellow humans.

Please note, I think there are times when people need to be hurt, and hard. People who prey on children. Those bastards who attacked various women in Central Park over the weekend. It is entirely moral to slap those people down (literally and figuratively).

Whew. I think I need to go back to nice, simple questions about what we wore to prom.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Well, cattiness is my friend, but I make fun of myself also. Other than that, I guess I'm pretty moral. But sometimes I steal candy out of the candy bins at HEB.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

I try very hard to be a moral person but I frequently come up far short of my goals. I do believe there are a few golden rules: "don't steal", "don't hurt people/animals/the Earth", etc. but beyond that I suppose it varies culture to culture, era to era, person to person. For instance, I took a vow to be faithfull to my husband, so cheating would be immoral. For someone in an open marriage, that would not be immoral.

I try to live a life where the way I treat people will help them to be the best person they can be and I try to surround myself with people who treat me that way. In other words, if I told my best friend I was going to steal a car, she wouldn't say "cool!" On the flip side, when I'm trying to do the right thing, even if it's hard, my friends are really there for me. It's about trying to become a more compassionate, caring, loving person. I think this life is a gift and I'm trying to be worthy of that gift.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

"Do you want somebody to do that to you? No? Then don't do it to someone else." That's how I try to live.

Of course, there are things I do that many people (mainly ultra-religious ones) would freak out over. No drugs, very rarely drink, but I do get a perverse kick out of leaving my blinds open and watching The Peeper across the parking lot peep on me. Not that anything interesting happens in my rooms...you'd think the poor guy would have given up after a year, huh?

Okay: sex outside of marriage is fine, providing neither of the participants is *otherwise engaged* (open marriages/relationships excluded). BUT both parties must be responsible for safety factors...read: Condoms...and if an unforseen "accident" should occur, deal with the situation maturely. Don't run away or try and scam for money, etc. Also, I'd never poke holes in condoms, lie and say I was on the Pill or the Shot if I wasn't, all to try and get pregnant just to keep the guy. Or lie and say I'm pregnant when I'm not. I've seen too many women try these tactics and have them backfire. One just doesn't do that stuff...

As for stealing office supplies, I currently have three shot glasses, one Collins glass, a keychain, an ashtray, and a chair all procured from the bar I work at in my apartment. (Hey...I needed the chair to change a lightbulb!)

Making fun of people: We've all done that, don't feel good about it, but still do it at times. I think it's human nature. Bigotry: Don't assume BS about me, and I'll return the favor. I hate that... Sloth: Ummm...I'm supposed to be heading BACK up to the mechanic's right now, and my apartment could use a cleaning. But what am I doing??? Impunctuality: You just don't want to look at my timecard at work...

Okay, I'll shut up now...

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2000

yeah, do unto others is a pretty good maxim to live by. but its the "okay to do it if it doesn't hurt anyone else" part that bothers me. sometimes we forget what far-reaching consequences our actions can have, even when we think just ourselves and our spouses are affected. we may not be aware of the influence we have over other people in our lives, not to mention the effect on our society: hedonism and the disintegration of the family unit were hallmarks of the fall of the roman empire- and history tends to repeat itself. damn, this sounds so preachy and i don't mean it to be; i am probably one of the biggest miscreants around. why is it that doing the immoral thing is usually easy and seems natural sometimes, but doing the right thing is so very very hard?

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2000

My new philosophy (really, I've just figured this out in the last little while) is that I should never wish ill upon people, even really rotten people because their rotteness will come back on them eventually, so I don't need to put any malicious vibes or energy out into the universe. That sounds really flaky, doesn't it? I also am down with the golden rule.

However, none of that stops me from making snotty comments about celebrities and politicians because they're out there in the public, wanting attention. Besides, I'm not wishing ill upon them, just commenting on their foibles.

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000

Maggie, I agree with you. I used to wish evil on fellow drivers and stuff, but then I figured they were probably already reaping the punishments of being assholes. And sitting around hoping for people's tires to fly off while I ground my teeth and furrowed my brow wasn't really enriching my life, either.

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000

Yes, do unto others as you would have them do to you. This allows me to make fun of people who don't know me and can't hear me doing it, because they're welcome to do the same to me, as I won't know or care.

And I'm a big believer of karma. So I now smile pityingly on nasty people, secure in the knowledge that their life will reflect their behaviour in the end.

But anyway, sex outside of marriage is immoral, as is bigotry. Stealing office supplies is normal, and could be considered a perk of the job, but this is the odd pad of paper, not a computer or anything. Making fun of people is a lifestyle choice, and anybody who doesn't indulge must be a bit of a Pollyanna. Good for them, but they won't be invited to my place for dinner. Impunctuality is rude but not immoral, and if you keep me waiting I'll wander off and you may never see me again. And if you want to be a sloth then go for it, but I won't be fetching your dinner.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2000