The sharp eyed amongst you will have noticed that there are two Mpenzas playing for Belgium. It is only fair that people should have to stipulate which so as not to gain an unfair advantage.

The initials are A and M I believe with the hand ball scorer in the opening game being A, and the substitute Mpenza jnr being M.

Yours cumudgeonedly
Softie

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Answers

Softie, should be E for Emile and M for Mbo...cute name

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Well spotted that man, E it was, I obviously can't tell my Arse from my Elbow :-)

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Thanks for that Softie....I had noticed the two.

I refer my honourable and learned friend to the posting I made last weekend to the effect that where multiple names are available (there were three Andersson's on the field at the start of Swedens game) then if the desired one was not specified by initial of full name, only half of the points would be allocated.

In the very unlikely event of it EVER happening, the same would effect with the Neville sisters if one scored and someone had predicted it, but had not specified which one.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

ITK, so is that a P for Phyllis and a G for Georgia?

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Thank you ITK,

I am most grateful for your prompt and reasoned response to my plea. I particularly appreciated your patience in that you had already dealt with this matter on a previous thread. Rather than expose my ignorance and ill manners, you chose the gentler course of quietly repeating the measures you had already taken to combat this eventuality should it arise.

I am indebted to you for your forebearance and excellent stewardship of this fine competition.

Yours cringingly
Uriah Softie :-)

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Oi Softie........Piss Off

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

I was being serious! Just demonstrating to these hobbledeyoys the correct tone to assume when addressing a League manager....precious little reverence shown to me by certain parties keeping spreadsheets to shadow the Corinthian League and questioning my allocation of points....disgraceful behaviour!

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

I was being flippant.....sorry ;0)

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Fancy a quick jaunt to Marbella on my Lear jet? Great fellow chairman type mate? :-)

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Hey you two! I don't want to see you two slagging off the women on here then going onto say that our BBS hero Duncan is like Mary Poppins.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

I won't have anything said about the girl of my dreams on the south coast.....or her daughter ;)))

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Hey Softie.....sound good to me....where is the plane....Willington Quay International Airport or Bill Quay local?

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Yep, Willington Quay, there's a brown field site under the gas tanks which is admittedly a bit bumpy, but is convenient for the Metro when I am pretending to be a Man of the People. I'm just off to eat some caviar out of a young lady's navel and snort some coke off her twin sister's left tit before cancelling my deal with the Willington Quay and Greater Howdon Broadcasting Corporation for Corinthian League Highlights.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

But who are you dealing with for the Notionless League.......Is there scope for a PPV deal......?

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

The team that brought us the Endsleigh League Highlights have put in a bid and are sounding out Saint and Greavsie as I speak...

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Tell me when the bidding is going to end and I will come in with a totally unrealistic loss leader bid two days before the deadline.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

O.k, since ITV managed to help devalue the Cup by squeezing it into the smallest possible timeslot and continually going on about how it was devalued by Newton Heath flouncing out of it (someone ought to have a quiet word about how to sell a product some time) I'm hoping that they can completely screw this up as well. After all, they will have to put as many advert breaks in as possible and follow all the tried and tested dumbing down processes, so I can see ITV MotD being presented by Cilla Black, with a referee being gunged every week, an intrusive dance track played throughout to keep our attention, 15 stupid phone-in polls to make it 'interactive' at #1 per minute (calls last 3 minutes) and a little cute bit at the end when they show a dog wearing Newton Heath kit and continuously plug the f***ing Champions League because they think it's more important....Hey Presto! The morons will devalue the Premiership and the BBC will be left to try to restore credibility 3 years down the line. Either that or they will deliberately cock it up to help usher in a Euro League.

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2000

Don't hold your breath on the 3 year cr@p........what odds on them coming to the BBC after the first season, tails between their legs, pleading with them to take the coverage back at a massive loss to them.

As far as advert breaks are concerned, the 61 million pound they have paid means that they will have to have 5 advert breaks in each hour long programme and each contain 12 adverts, JUST TO BREAK EVEN.

As they can only choose ONE main match per week, what betting that when it comes down to West Ham v Charlton, Tyne Tees will suddenly have a very urgent need to show an edition of Blind Date and will defer their transmission of the programme until after midnight. Similar thing when you have two midlands or two northern teams.

The ONLY time that it will be shown as a cohesive network transmission is when they can get Newton Heath, Liverpool, Leeds and the Arse to actually play a game on a Saturday for them to cover, which will not be very often as most weeks they will either be playing on a Sunday due to European commitments or they will be the live Sky game or they will be on NTL's PPV.

Reap, reap, reap, reap what you sow.....oh what a perfect day! (not for the football fans)

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2000

I don't know ITK, maybe it's what we've been praying for...the stadium will be packed as it's the only way to see any of our games without blowing your television by being connected to Sky, On Digital, NTL Cable and terrestrial just to see one of your games occasionally. It's a Hell of a shame knowing that little Bobby won't come up to me with shining eyes in a few years and ask, "How many D's in Match of the Day, Dad?" Sniff, sob, snuffle

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2000

It's certainly made my mind up now. What with the increase in tax on 'Fuel provided by company for private use' the benefit is reduced, therefore I feel a need to screw the system.

So, Northampton - Newcastle for shit loads of home games = loads of fuel (Air-Con on all the way!), somebody save me a seat.

Mam I'm coming home!!!..............

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2000

there are three Softie!

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2000

Oh no there aren't! There are lots and lots Dad:

D, d, d, d, ddddd,
D, d, ddd, d,
D, d, d, d, ddddd,
D, d, ddd, d, d,

Ho ho ho! That's very clever son, never heard that one before! Do you know why the chicken crossed the road etc etc etc ;-)

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2000

Yeh Da road dissed da Chicken, tho he crossed it.

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2000

I walked right into that one didn't I..........eye's wide open and I still missed it.

Its almost as bad as the Pink Panther coming from Durham and Batman's Dinner routines.

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2000