All of us who have done O level history know about nationalism in the Balkans but we saw it once again tonight. Slovenia, a country with a population roughly on a par with Birmingham, scare the poo out of one of the main forces in European football. Slovenia is a "new" country driven by intense national pride. The same thing happened in France when another "new" country, Croatia, suddenly showed they were the third best team in the world.

The lesson to be learned from this is obvious. England will never be a force again as England - we must split up into our historical regions and compete separately. Instead of one national team we would have loads of them - Mercia, Wessex, Kent, East Anglia and, of course, Northumbria. Wouldn't you much rather support a national team made up a those born between the Humber and the Tweed instead of pretending to have to like these flash cockney gits just because they've got an England shirt on?

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

Answers

Interesting Jacko, 'cos for all our posturing (myself included) I can't help but note a small amount of "we" and "us" in the comments about the England team.

Is it wanting Shearer to win it for Geordieland or are we all just that little bit wanting to be proved wrong and want something to be proud of?

As for a Northumbrian side...that'd include the makums by your reckoning wouldn't it? Hmmmm... :-)

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

Excellent idea Jacko. I could identify much more with a Northumbrian team than I can with Ingerlund. OK we might not be able to win the World Cup or the Euro championship but then that's nothing new is it? (-; Such a team would be passionately supported and would play with a spirit which England always seems to lack.

As for Bobby's point re Mackems, I think that we have much more in common with Mackems than we have with Cockneys. We share a similar culture, a similar industrial heritage, the same geography - in fact the only thing that separates us is that we have a decent football club. (-;

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

Jonno - if you visit every pub on Tyneside and can find someone to agree with you that that the only thing to distinguish us from macums is a football team then I will eat my hat. In fact I would rather eat my own testicles than be part of anything that includes the people of sunderland. Give me a cockney any day.

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

Have to agree. Well, who wouldn't with 3 such convincing arguments? Of course, we would have to make SJP the national stadium, and being a new nation, the dictator (Jonno) would decree that Leazes Terrace should be demolished and the rubble used as an infill at the Gallowgate so we could complete the redevelopment of the stadium.

Bobby Robson would be manager of the National side , if not president of the country as well.

Mind you, I think we would have to have some interesting immigration/nationalisation laws (no problem for YBR and Jonno) to ensure the likes of Softie were recognised as true Geordies (shame about the accent mind).

Top idea Jacko. Just do it!

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

Ginga, Nobody said any Mackem had to be picked for the team. And as long as we don't allow International matches to be played outside the National Stadium (plenty of precedents there then) we should be OK.

Although there are a few more differences than Jonno indicated, I have to side with him when it comes to a "National" identity. At least they'd fight on the same side in a war against the Cockneys ;-))

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

If we're knocking down Leazes Terrace why not us the rubble to finally level off the pitch!

Although it pains me, Jonno's right about having more in common with the Chimps down the road than any of us care to consider. Nevertheless, I propose in the new Peoples Republic of Northumbria we enclose Scumderland with a high barbed wire wall with armed posts every 100 yds. "Escape From New York" might be a good example. That way at least the contaminating genetic material can be kept under close control. The fact that Northumbria's GM testing fields will be solely within this structure is pure coincidence.

-- Anonymous, June 14, 2000

We could always annex them sort of like Goa, and give them to the southerners. (I did not use a capital on southerners because I did not want anyone to think I meant Mr and Mrs Southerner)Fine people as they are (the Mr and Mrs), they probably deserve huge tracts of land for Mr Softy to say "one day lad this'll aaalll be yours", but I would not land the Mr and Mrs with that pile o' shiet

-- Anonymous, June 14, 2000

And the colour of todays pills Gus? ;))

-- Anonymous, June 14, 2000

And the team would be?

Goalie: ? Full Backs; Watson and ? Centre Backs: Howey and Beherall Midfield: Clark, Gazza, Stone, Thompson Forwards: Shearer and Bridges

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Goalie? Pavel of course!

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Aye and Barton as full back!

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

The problem with Croatia & Slovenia apart from not being football greats is they have an economy that has been shot to pieces. The North-East is not the wealthiest part of Britain & losing Govt assistnce would leave us with a large proportion of the population who have become too dependant on hand-outs and theft instead of there own hard work. The city council has for some time encouraged living off hand outs by giving single-teenage mothers cheap property and too many benefits. I wouldn't like to see huge chunks of my meagre income being spent on some slappers who see getting pregnant as one big meal ticket.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2000