Declan the humble crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to declan in tears.

"We can't see each other anymore...." she sobbed

"Why?" gasped Declan

"Daddy says crabs are too common" she wailed. "He claims you, a mere crab and a poor one at that, are the lowest class of crustacean.... and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways".

Declan was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the darkness to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion. That night, the great Lobster Ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her fathers side, inconsolable.

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Declan the crab strode in. The Lobsters stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the King Lobster rose from his throne.

Slowly, painstakingly, Declan the crab made his way across the floor .... and all could see that he was walking not sideways, but FORWARDS, one claw after another! Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he finally looked King Lobster in the eye.

There was a deadly hush.

Finally, Declan spoke.

"F*ck me, I'm Pissed!"

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

Answers

Ouch. I suppose that's what you call a crap crab joke.

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

Ha ha ha!

Reminds me of that old chestnut:

Q: What did the snail say when it was sitting on the tortoise's back?

A: Wheeeeeeee!!!

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000