I'm sat here, bottle and cans at the ready, watching the orificial opening of Euro 2000. It's bollox. What the f*** have puppets on stilts got to do with football? (Chelsea supporters need not respond).

-- Anonymous, June 10, 2000

Answers

Screacher - at least it was mercifully short! (:o)

-- Anonymous, June 10, 2000

And as for my predictions for this match - showing my usual flair and aplomb - I manage to pick Larsson to score the first goal - sadly, the manager doesn`t seem to have even picked him for the squad! If nothing else, my further predictions will likely have a high amusement value. (:o)

-- Anonymous, June 10, 2000

2-1 to Belgium right now. I predict Sweden to win 3-2. I have been wronf B4.

-- Anonymous, June 10, 2000

......I've also been known to make the odd (very odd?) spooling mistook.

Nilis on for Strupar.

-- Anonymous, June 10, 2000

Howay Sween. In your hour of need, you need Andreas Andersson.......

......or maybe not.

-- Anonymous, June 10, 2000

Not a bad opening match. That Emile Mpenza was a bit handy! (:o)

-- Anonymous, June 10, 2000

Good open game - didn't expect to but I enjoyed it.
Liked the Belgian RB, Desflandre - remember him from either the last WC or Euro96 - strong and constructive, linked well with the right-sided m/f player, Verheyen, who also played well.
Mpenze caused mayhem all night - Sweden just couldn't handle him. Although he wasn't in the game that much, I also liked the look of the Belgian left-winger Bart Goor.
Best Swedish player I felt was Kennet Andersen - looks different class to the donkey who had a trial with us several years ago.

-- Anonymous, June 10, 2000

Forgot to mention, the Belgian CB the makems are supposed to be interested in - Valgaeren or something - looked a donkey.

-- Anonymous, June 10, 2000

Clarky, shhhh! Ahem! I thought he looked a different class. 7mil is a real bargain. I only wish we had that sort of money or we could tempt him to SJP....

-- Anonymous, June 11, 2000

Oh sh*t yes, I forgot Softie - I was of course mistakenly referring to that Spanish donkey - the one who plays alongside that Don Quixote blerk, and deffo not to that giant among CB's, Valgaeren, who looked so utterly outstanding for Belgium against Sweden last night. Gosh, if we could only afford to buy him....!

-- Anonymous, June 11, 2000