Anybody know what colour it is? `Cos I think it`s slithering across my pation as I type this!!!!!!! Either that, or it`s the genetically modified slug that`s done for my lupins - b@stard!!!!!(:o)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Answers

haha one of my favourite stories as a kid!!

I've no idea what colour it is (although Sting will tell you it's Red and White since it's from Washington!)

Get those paving stones out mum ;)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

I kid you not - this thing is 6 inches long...and......wait a minute!!!!.........I do believe it`s carrying a knife and fork!!! With apologies to all you Bhuddists out there.....this mother`s munched its last!!!!

Yours faithfully, Mrs. Angry (:o)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Wow that's big!!

Hmmm....you could vary the families diet this week by cancelling the dog food order and having escargot instead...

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Galaxy,
Ever the pendant, it's 'Lambton' and the hill is just along the river from where I live. It was a bit of a chameleon, but was so long it was any colour it came across. -)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Thank you Pit Bill - wasn`t sure about the spelling.(:o) If you don`t hear from me again............ you`ll know the worm won!

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Gav - cue Pete. Who will tell you all about the giant watersnails he ate in Ghana! Hmmm!? I think I still have a receipe knocking around somewhere....now where is it! Lunch anyone?!!!!(:o)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Sprinkle some salt on the b*gger and watch him turn into froth. Yuk yuk yuk! What do you mean 'depraved childhood'?;-)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Galaxy,
Hope they weren't the bilharzia snails, although that could explain any communication problems you're having. :-))

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

God (still not religious!)...I heave at the thought of eating snails!! bizarrely enough I was persuaded to go to an Escargot restaurant in Basel a couple of weeks ago and had to put up with all these people eating the bloody things!! I of course refused and had steak :))

Apparently I did eat an earthworm once as a child!! the story as I've been told it was that I was trying to impress a little girl along the road (story of my effing life!)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Is it dead yet Gal?

Did you persuade it to spit out the lupins first?

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Wow...she's gone awfully quiet!!!

Should we send the army round?

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Softie..... that is cruel. I never sprinkle the salt on the beasts. Just sprinkle a circle of salt around them and see if they can find the way out!

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Geordie! I toned it down so I wouldn't seem too much of a sicko; might have bloody known! Used to make a spiral track so that they could just find a way out, but with a few grains in the way so that they wouldn't get too far...

I take it you read the 'Wasp Factory' and found the narrator's childhood games to be pretty run-of-the-mill as well? :-)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Nope.... haven't read Wasp Factory... looks like I'll have to tho'!

Who wrote it?

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Iain Banks. Very stylish black and white covers. Also writes seriously inventive science fiction as Iain M. Banks. This child in the wasp factory declares war on the bunnies in a field and gets them with a home-made flamethrower etc etc etc. Definitely off the beaten track.

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Sounds a good read then... I enjoyed The Bridge

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

The Bridge was great, wasn't it? Complicity was entertaining and the Crow Road wasn't bad. I actually prefer his science fiction, but since he alternates them, I read all his contemporary fiction to keep me going. His novels about 'The Culture' are masterly. A pan-galactic civilization based on hedonistic principles with intelligent machines taking care of all the work. Bases his stories around Special Circumstances, a body of misfits who manipulate planets to get them ready for contact with The Culture. Explains an awful lot and is often very funny.

Use of Weapons or Player of Games are good starting points, although Consider phlebas was his first.

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

One of my favorite books of late Softie. The Wasp Factory is Banks best so far. Enjoyed a couple of the sci-fi as well.

Reading Ian Rankins Dead Souls at the moment. His description of Edinburghs seedy side is pretty powerful. Should've put this on the Lit. thread Another worth a look is The Rule of the Bones.

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Galaxy,
Getting back to your six inch thingy, what colour was it ? I was on holiday somewhere and saw the most revolting creepy crawly slithery I've ever seen in me life.

It was much bigger than yours, but was the vilest orange colour you can imagine. Just thinking about it is turning my stomach. Didn't taste very nice either.

Bliddy foreigners - they'll dish up any crap and call it ethnic, and silly s*ds like me'll put themselves just this side of death's door living to regret eating it.

And three finger poi is a thousand times worse. What an experience. I count my blessings that it hasn't managed (to my knowledge) to escape the balmy shores of Hawaii. The look of it should have been enough. Avoid it like the plague.

By the way, I didn't really eat the orange slug. -)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Thanks for the recommendation on Rankin, Hiro, I'll have a shufty next time I'm in Waterstones.

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

At the risk of opening the innuendo floodgates - it was a big black one! Just call me an old softie though, couldn`t bring myself to kill it. `Sent` it over the fence to visit the horses instead! (:o)

Pit Bill - I have to ask you - where do you get your restaurant recommendations from - I suggest you change your source! (:o)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

A 6 inch big black one eh??....must be cold in Bournemouth today!

Sorry I hate to disappoint :))

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

What the hell are you all talking about? And before you crucify me for being an ignorant colonialist, just remember I am one.

The only worm I know about from children's stories is some multi coloured rainbow type one that liked eating holes in apples.

If you want to go for size, in South Australia they have earth worms that grow over a metre long. I think I recall one being about six feet long, but won't swear to it. And yes these are earth worms and not snakes.

We also have some bloody big stick insects and praying mantis's.

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

Here ya go Tre. Now THIS is a worm.....

During the Middle Ages, a young member of the Lambton family chose to fish on a Sunday despite warnings that it was unlucky. On this particular day he caught nothing but a worm and in anger, threw it into the well.

Some years later, while Lambton was away fighting the Crusades, the worm emerged from the well, a huge and ferocious beast. It devastated the land killing all in its path and continued to grow, coiling its massive body around the hillsides. On his return from the Holy Land, the brave young Lambton sought help from a witch on how best to slay the beast, but he was told that if he killed the creature, he would have to slay the very next living thing he met. The worm was killed but sadly, it was Lambton's father who passed by, and the young crusader, unable to murder him,reneged on his promise to the witch and condemned his family to a curse of untimely deaths that continued for nine generations.

The song of the Lambton Worm

"One Sunday morn young Lambton went a-fishin' in the Wear; An' catched a fish upon his huek, He thowt leuk't varry queer, But whatt'n a kind a fish it was Young Lambton couldn't tell. He waddn't fash to carry it hyem, So he hoyed it in a well.

Chorus Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs, Aa'll tell ye aall and aaful story, Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs, An' Aal tell ye 'bout the worm.

Noo Lambton felt inclined to gan An' fight in foreign wars. He joined a troop o' Knights that cared For neither wounds nor scars, An' off he went to Palestine Where queer things him befel, An' varry seun forgot aboot The queer worm i' the well.

Chorus

But the worm got fat an' growed an' growed, An' growed an aaful size; He'd greet big teeth, a greet big gob, An' greet big goggle eyes. An' when at neets he craaled aboot To pick up bits o'news, If he felt dry upon the road, He milked a dozen coos.

Chorus

This feorful worm wad often feed On calves an' lambs an' sheep, An' swally little bairns alive When they laid doon to sleep. An' when he'd eaten aal he cud An' he has had he's fill, He craaled away an' lapped his tail Seven times roond Pensher Hill.

Chorus

The news of this most aaful worm An' his queer gannins on Seun crossed the seas, gat to the ears Of brave an' bowld Sir John. So hyem he cam an' catched the beast An' cut 'im in three halves, An' that seun stopped he's eatin' bairns, An' sheep an' lambs and calves.

Chorus

So noo ye knaa hoo aall the folks On byeth sides of the Wear Lost lots o' sheep an' lots o' sleep An' lived in mortal feor. So let's hev one to brave Sir John That kept the bairns frae harm Saved coos an' calves by myekin' haalves O' the famis Lambton Worm

Chorus

Noo lads, Aa'll haad me gob, That's aall Aa knaa aboot the story Of Sir John's clivvor job Wi' the aaful Lambton Worm

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

And my humble apologies for screwing up the verses, wish I was a techie type sometimes.

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

Excellent Pete! I wouldn`t even have attempted it!(:o)

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

Anyone else get taught that song in school music lessons? or was it just me?

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

Me too Gav, unfortunately the only bits I could remember were the chorus, and the great big goggly eyes bit. Cut and pasted the above rendition from some site I have no idea how to get back into.

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

I only remember the chorus bit as well....I've even been known to sing it at the top of my voice in the strangest of places when I'm legless :))

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

Now that sounds only too familiar.

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

Galaxy,
Going into 'ethnic' restaurants I know nowt about is the closest I can get to looking for the source of the Nile.

Believe it or not, I've rarely been disappointed - that poi crap was just about the worst, although brain rissoles (or should that be arssoles ?) were a close second - don't screw your face up like that girl, if the wind changes it'll stay that way.

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

You sound like my hubbie - he loves a gastonomic challenge! Mind you, he did marry me - what does that say!!!(:o)

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

Your dropping r's now peggy....

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

You`re right Gav - time for a break I think!(:o)

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

So do you excel as a main course or as a dessert ? ('Pudding' seemed a bit inappropriate) -)

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

Bill, you can't talk to mum like that man....

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

Pit Bill - More like enough for a medieval banquet! And as Gav pointed out....... my `r`s` is dropping! Pardon the grammar! (:o)

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

I often think that I'm not as bad as everyone makes out....

Your all a bunch of perverts....

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000