Dear Xeney Board, I just broke up with my boyfriend 3 days before school is out. There is this other guy that I really like. He is so cute. He sits behind me in science class. He is so cute and sweet. He is always playing around with me. Well, this is the hard part. I only have two more days left of school. That is all of the time I have left to make him ask me out. I really want him to. Pleasse give me some advice on how to attract him. Thanks. Bye!

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

Answers

You can't make anyone do anything. Turn around after class and say, "Hey, would you like to go for a pizza sometime?" Works like a charm.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

Or wait until next year... maybe you'll meet someone better between now and then. And you could probably give him your phone number to chat over the summer. End of school is a PERFECT opportunity!

And I agree with the former answer, you can't "make" anyone do anything. Sure you might be able to finagle something, but will you really be happy with the results, if any?

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

Why is all of the pressure on this poor guy?

YOU ask him out. Obviously, if he's "playing" with you, he's attracted.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

You could do the traditional yearbook trick (if you haven't signed his already) of writing your phone # or anything else in his...

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

OU OU OUUUU

Ask him! The pizza is a great idea or any eatery or coffee, etc. [How about minitature golf? It sounds goofy but it can be a lot of fun and you can be playful with each other.] Guys love that and he is clearly sending signals that he likes you.

Awwwwwww *smile*

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2000

Sorry, this is a little long-winded but your post really caught my attention...

You say that you just broke up with your boyfriend (three days before school gets out) and now the very next day (two days before school gets out) you're already trying to hook-up with someone else? I don't know how long you were with your ex or how attached you were to him, but why not take some time quality time to yourself to let go and figure out what went wrong with your last relationship before jumping into another one? - Or at least just to take some time to be on your own for awhile and do your own thing. Why the intense rush to be attached again?

I regret having spent all of my high school/early college years in one relationship after another. I wish I had taken more time in my younger years to be on my own and really get to know myself and stand on my own two feet. When that constant dating cycle finally ended I had to really struggle to learn how to be independent. I had to catch up on alot of the growing and vital confidence building that I had missed out on by constantly having someone else there to take care of me and validate me.

With the "make him ask me out" part it sounds like you might be in the same place that I was. Why wouldn't you just ask him out? Why the need to manipulate him into approaching you? It's as though it's not really about liking this guy or going out with him so much as it is a matter of earning his validation.

You're young, you will have plenty of time to date, but this is an important time in your life as far as developing self-esteem. You can do it now, or you can do it later on when it's going to be ten times harder. My advice for you would be to take some time this summer to concentrate on the things that you really enjoy doing on your own. Spend some quality time with your (especially female) friends or family. Learn something new and exciting, a new hobby maybe or a sport. Volunteer for a cause that you feel strongly about.

I just don't want for you to have to learn the hard way like I did.

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2000

I feel just the opposite. I spent my young years - indeed, most of my life - in one relationship after another and don't regret it at all.

I say ask him out. Miniature golf sounds perfect.

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2000

I know this is off the subject, but why is it that so many women and so few men stay in a constant cycle of relationships? Is it just that men have a harder time committing and staying attached? Is it that men describe themselves as unattached when they're actually in a relationship that they have doubts about, while women tend to consider themselves attached under those conditions, or what?

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2000

Is it that men describe themselves as unattached when they're actually in a relationship that they have doubts about, while women tend to consider themselves attached under those conditions, or what?

Must be... because (among monogamous heterosexuals) there are exactly the same number attached men and women...

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

I think it depends on the person. I know some of both genders who are constantly in and out of a relationship (mainly because they're -constantly- looking for another relationship the second one ends or looks like it will be ending, or are poly). And some of both genders I know haven't been in one in ages.

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000