This came from Texas but it is worth sending around the world!

This message for women came from a friend at Texas Dept. Human Services:

I hope you all take this very seriously. Last night I attended a personal safety workshop, and it jolted me. It was given by an amazing man, Pat Malone, who has been a body guard for famous figures like Farrah Fawcett and Sylvester Stallone. He works for the FBI, and teaches police officers and Navy SEALS hand to hand combat. This man has seen it all, and knows a lot.

He focused his teachings to us on HOW TO AVOID BEING THE VICTIM OF A VIOLENT CRIME. He gave us some statistics about how much the occurrences of random violence have escalated over the recent years, and it's terrible. Something like 99% of us will be exposed/a victim of a violent crime. Here are some of the most important points that I got out of his presentation

The three reasons women are easy targets for random acts of violence are:

1. Lack of awareness (you MUST know where you are, what's going on around you).

2. Body language (keep your head up, swing your arms, stand straight up)

3. Wrong place, wrong time (DON'T be walking alone in an alley, or driving in a bad neighborhood at night)

Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc).DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in the passenger side, put a gun to your head,and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage: BE AWARE: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. Check under the car as well.

If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their van while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

Look at the car parked on the drivers side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.

ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone.)

DO NOT get on an elevator if there is a weirdo already on there. (of course bad men don't always look bad).

DO NOT stand back in the corners of the elevator, be near the front, by the doors, ready to get off or on. If you get on the elevator on the 25th floor, and the Boogie Man gets on at the 22nd, GET OFF when he gets on.

If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!

POLICE only make 4 of 10 shots when they are in range of 3-9 feet. This is due to stress. The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT, it may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Pat Malone told us the story of his daughter, who came out of the mall and was walking to her car when she noticed 2 older ladies in front of her. Then she saw a police car come towards her with 2 cops, and they said hello. She also noticed that all 8 handicap spots in the area were empty. As she neared her car she saw a man a few rows over calling to her, for help. He

wanted her to close his passenger side door. He was sitting in the drivers side, and said he was handicap. He continued calling, until she turned and headed back to the mall, and then he began cursing at her. She wondered why he didn't ask the 2 older ladies, or the policeman for help, and why he was not parked in any of the empty handicapped spots. As she got back to the mall, two male friends of hers were exiting, and as she told them the story, and turned to point at the car, a male was getting out of the back seat into the front, and the car sped away.

DON'T GET CAUGHT IN THIS TRAP.

Tips to saving your life, if you have gotten into a violent situation:

REACT IMMEDIATELY: If he abducts you in a parking lot, and is taking you to an abandoned area, DON'T LET HIM GET YOU TO THAT AREA. If you are driving, react immediately in the situation, and crash your car while still going 5 MPH. Go dead in his arms. It is very hard to move even 100 pounds of dead weight. Then start kicking hard!! Don't let him get both of your legs. Staying on your feet helps him move you where HE wants you to go.

If he's driving, find the right time, and stick your fingers in his eyes. He must watch the road, so choose an unsuspecting time, and gouge him. It is your ONLY defense. While he is in shock, GET OUT. (This sounds gross, but the alternative is even worse if you do not act.) RESIST: don't go along with him: run, if you are able, scream; you DO NOT want to get to crime scene. DON'T EVER GIVE UP!

ALWAYS keep your distance when walking past strangers on the street or in dark areas. GET A CELL PHONE. There are packages for $19.95 a month that allow you to program only 911 into the dialing out program (this is for parents who say it is too expensive for their kids to have a cell phone). BREAK DOWNS: (avoid this by ALWAYS keeping your car in good working order).

If your car breaks down: you better have a cell phone to call for help and lock your doors. Keep a blanket, and a pair of warm clothes and boots, and a flashlight in your car always for emergencies.>

If you don't have a cell phone: (shame on you). And it's noon on a business day, you MAY want to put your hazards on and walk to safety. And if it's 2 a.m.: put on your warm clothes, and walk to a lighted area. You are a perfect target if you are sitting in your car broken down. Predators search the highways for easy targets like you.

And if you're on a desolate road: walk away from the car (in your warm clothes) and go to some bushes, or some area AWAY from your vehicle.it will be cold, and uncomfortable, but you DO NOT want to stay in your car, and there are no psychotic boogiemen waiting in the bushes who knew you were going to break down.

Physical defenses that we can use against the violent predator:

The EYES are the most vulnerable part of the body. Poke him there, and you have (possibly) your only window of opportunity. The neck is also a vulnerable spot, but you MUST know where to grip, AND HAVE THE STRENGTH to cut off his breath.

The last place is the KNEES. Everyone's knees are very vulnerable, and a swift kick here will take anyone down.

A cautionary note about these things is that if you do not do these things right the first time, you are in trouble, because it will only anger the individual, and that anger will be TAKEN OUT ON YOU. I'm not saying don't attempt them (it may be your only hope), but be forceful when you do.

If you are walking alone in the dark (which you shouldn't be) and you find him following/chasing you, Scream "FIRE!", and not "help." People don't want to get involved when people yell "help," but "fire" draws attention because people are nosy.

RUN! Find an obstacle, such as a parked car, and run around it, like ring around the rosie. This may sound silly, but over the years, 5 women have told Pat Malone that this SAVED THEIR LIVES.

Your last hope is getting under the car. Once you are under there, there are tons of things to hold on to, and he will not be able to get you out, and will not come under for you (most likely). Usually they give up by this point. The catch here is that YOU MUST PRACTICE GETTING UNDER THE CAR. You must have a plan (he will have one); know if you will be going on your back, front, from the side or back of the car. It must be practiced.

NEVER let yourself or anyone that you know be a "closer" in any type of

business (bar, store, restaurant, gas station). Pat knew Danielle, who was the girl from Chesterland that just died from being shot pointblank by some kids while she was closing at the local gas station. He talked with her the night before she died, and asked whether it ever scared her to close alone. She said yes, but said "I'll be all right, Pat. I'll be all right." She wasn't.

I didn't mean to scare you with any of this, but honestly, I hope it did. It should. Our world is not as safe as we pretend that it is, and living in our fantasy worlds WILL get us in trouble, sooner or later.

"It won't happen to me" doesn't cut it, and is a bogus expectation anyway.

Pat Malone said again and again that the women who die EVERY MINUTE from violent crimes expected to go to bed tonight, and get up tomorrow, and do it all over again, and again, and again. No one expects it, but we must be prepared and aware so that we HAVE A PLAN.

I would encourage you to pass this on to all women, not just your friends and family, but everybody. We all need to hear it.

-- cin (cin@cin.cin), May 30, 2000

Answers

Thanks for this. I think self-defense should be mandatory for girls starting in elementary school.

One important and simple addition -- always have a sharp object within easy reach in your bag, and if you out alone, keep it in your hand. It doesn't have to be a knife, as a key or pencil or pen will do quite nicely. It doesn't take much force to drive it into an eye socket or any other delicate area, and the surprise factor alone will cause enough temporary shock to get away.

Because I always hold onto my keys when I'm walking down the street I was able to stab a guy in the back the second he lunged at me and tried to grab my purse. He ran away in terror, but I'm sure it was only a scratch.

-- Not a Victim (not@victim.net), May 30, 2000.

In my daughters elementary school, they do teach a self defense course for all the children each year. Infact, I was suprised my daughter learned so much. There were things she taught ME! :-) I was pleased to know her school has this program. I'll try to find out what it is called.

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), May 30, 2000.

Cin: EXCELLENT POST.

I stated on prior post, take a self defense course, it WILL help, in fact it saved my life. I also earned a college credit as I took it at a community college here.

My sister was raped and beaten. She was in the 'flats' a famous area here in ohio for nitespots. Our brother worked the door there he is in law enforcement, he ALWAYS walked us out. One nite, it was rainy, she had parked literally outside the door.

She told him not to worry she was right outside, she went to open her door, got in, and bam,,,,here came a brick thru the window, the attacker got in, pushed her to passenger side of vehicle, took her over to eastside of town, raped her, robbed her, and had others following him in another car.

Took her to a house there, (we believe the intent was to gang rape and kill her), while rummaging thru her trunk and gathering his friends, she noticed keys still in ignition. She drove NAKED to her home.

She was severly beaten. Had nitemares for years. It was terrible.

I'm sure their are other countless tales we can be sure of that. My point here is this: She could have had my bro walk her, she refused because of close proximity. We should never 'feel safe' while alone. They NEVER found the perps. Never mentioned it in paper either.

Self defense, I am a very strong advocate of such. Cin, I believe you also mentioned the gas station killing, we had that here very recent in Ohio, is it the same one? That was sad, murdered by a so- called friend who was in custody of foster family? Moved from Cleveland area to 'safe zone'.

My oldest son knew her, if it is the same one.

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), May 30, 2000.

Thanks for the post cin. Even with all the good news about crime statistics being down, it's always good to read a refresher.

Here's what I've learned after years of living in a city.

1. Don't go out alone at night. If you must walk home at night, do so as early as possible, or try to get a fellow or a couple to walk you home. Try to drive at night whenever possible. But if you don't drive, it's better to take a cab, even for short distances.

2. If you order a cab, make sure your friend walks you to the cab and has a good look at the driver.

3. Always do your errands during the day. Leave the evenings for dates, social engagements, or staying at home.

4. Always keep your doors locked. Never open the outside door without asking first who it is. (Seems obvious, but I did that just the other day, expecting a male friend.)

5. Stay alert all the time whenever you are on the street. Walk under the streetlamps.

6. Don't drink or do drugs and go out alone. Always be fully conscious, awake, aware of what you are doing, and always walk tall and with a determined, confident pace.

7. Don't wear high heels when you're walking out alone! It sounds obvious, but occasionally I see women dressed this way, and I don't think they're hookers.

8. Wear black leather gloves. This gives instant street credibility, and they're elegant.

9. Finally, a lot of violence against women is done by men who are intimate with their victim(s). So choose your male friends and mates very, very carefully. Never settle for less. Don't put up with irritable, explosive tempers. Even peevishness is a bad sign. A moody man will probably not treat you very well. Don't ignore the warning signs.

I think the last point is the most important. Women will often put up with bad behavior solely because they feel they need to be with a man. I once read these statistics about who in society reports the most happiness:

1. Single women 2. Married men 3. Single men 4. Married women

Always be absolutely sure of your choice so you don't end up in category 4!

-- Celia Thaxter (celiathaxter@yahoo.com), May 30, 2000.

cin, great post -- thanks. I learned at a very early age (and from living in NYC) to always be aware of everything around me. Then when I was 19, I was stalked. It was probably the most frightening experience of my life, but I think I handled it fairly well thanks to my "awareness". It turned out to be a guy I had gone to grammar school with who had this "fixation" on me. Sometimes there's just nothing you can do.

kritter, what a wonderful idea, but it's also quite sad at the same time. Shame these things *have* to be taught, but I'm glad they are teaching them. If you don't mind my asking, how old is your daughter? Just curious as to what kind of questions these children would ask (questions like, "why do we have to learn this?"). Explaining "why" can't be easy.

consumer, I hope your sister's doing better now; I can't even imagine the nightmares that poor woman had to suffer through (hope she doesn't have them any more). She is in my thoughts.

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), May 30, 2000.

cin,

Thanks so much for the post. I printed a copy and gave it to my 18 year old daughter. This is a constant fear of mine. She is so young and so full of life. I worry about her and I want her to have the knowledge she needs.

When she looked at what I gave her she asked:

"will there be a quiz?"

And I told her:

"you can be sure of that."

Thanks again.

-- Debra (hopingforabetter@world.com), May 31, 2000.

This guy also does videos for children. I've taped them from the T.V. specials and had my kids watch. He's oftentimes also a guest on talk shows like Montell, etc.

Patricia: My kids never asked why they needed to know this. Kids are the ones who think the boogeyman is hiding under their bed, ya know. The indoctrination for some things starts in pre-school. At that age, there's typically a little "jingle" associated with the scenario presented. I don't remember the jingles for strangers who ask for directions, or strangers that pull up in a car, but I remember well the answer to "What do you do if you catch on fire?" "STOP, DROP, and ROLL!" My kids and I discussed this early and often. We also had a password for if anyone EVER said I couldn't pick them up. For children, it's also a good idea to drop the thoughts of those cutesy umbrellas, etc. with their names on them. Child molestors hang around schools just waiting to catch a name so it can be used later to appear as though they know the child.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), May 31, 2000.

cin,

Great post! Thank you -- I'm going to memorize it, and make sure my boys read it. And some really good stuff from the rest of y'all, too. Thanks.

Consumer, my heart goes out to your sister.

A few things I might add: If someone points a gun at you and tells you to get in a van or car, you should assume that you will end up being killed if you get in. Believing this might help you to make some quick decisions in advance, knowing you have nothing to lose.

If you're in a car, you should believe the same thing, and if you're driving, be therefore ready to crash it at ANY speed, or roll it over. I've heard that there are driving techniques you can learn here that would lower the risk for you, but I'm not sure where they'd teach them.

When you're walking to your car, keep your keys in your fist with your car key sticking out between your two middle fingers. Hopefully, you'll be able to open the door (maybe even start the ignition this way?) and it will be ready to be used as a weapon if need be -- ideally targeting the perpetrator's eyes. If this doesn't seem to work, see if you can get a key made that has a wide or thick bottom part/handle that would be easier to get a tight grip on.

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), May 31, 2000.

cin, thank you. One other tip: if you are forced into the trunk of a car, try to remove or kick out the rear lights. Hang a hand or foot out of the hole to attract attention.

-- helen (b@t.s), May 31, 2000.

Remember,you will fight as you train.Taking a course is good but do not let yourself believe that a chimera course is a defensive panacea.To confidently apply defence techniques against a determined opponet will require time and effort.It's much easier and more effective to kick a man in the shins than to kick him in the groin.From childhood boys learn to instintivly guard their groin but an oblique inside stomping kick to the shin can eaisily be delivered at close range(even from a bear hug) and it hurts A LOT.Better yet,buy a gun,learn how to safely and responsibly use it and then take it with you where ever you go.Guns are the great equalizer.

-- zoobie (zoobiezoob@yahoo.com), May 31, 2000.

Zoobie:

Some states do have laws against carrying guns.

And although a quick kick to the shin is quite effective, so are car keys to the eyeballs.

BTW, yes one must train while taking self defense course, I did.

Ladies, it is GREAT exercise, stretches and the likes.

When I was attacked, after learning, and practicing in class, It came NATURAL....I front snapped kick a rather large man from his front room into his bedroom, which gave me time to get out of the door. He was standing right over top of me getting ready to stomp me. As most know, I am petite if I can anyone can.

I say 'self defense course', MAKE the time, get some exercise, and make some friends it is an inexpensive way to save your life.

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), May 31, 2000.