You'll have to excuse me if this is a bit confused. I've come a long way in a short time and I'm feeling a bit jet logged here in the Caribbean. Because we're on holiday I had a few beers last night and the effect still hasn't worn off. I'm not used to it these days and it reminded me of the days I used to go to the working men's club after a hard graft as an electrician. Of course electricity was all new to us in those days and it was easy to get confused. I nearly missed the match. It's a good job the start was delayed and that I woke up earlier than expected when my bag was full.

We had planned to have a bit of a lie in and get up at half past one for a late branch. I think that's what they call them over here. You can never tell with so much influence from America. But I woke at half past ten and found the match was just about to start. There was me thinking there was another 5 hours to wait. I still can't work out why it started at half past ten.

I was very interested to see how our boys did for England. It took me back to when I was in charge and seeing Alan lead the team out made it seem just like last month that he and I led a team out at Wembley. How time flies. I thought Alan played well. He's had a hard season and it's not about to end. Of course his game has suffered. Anybody's game would have suffered if they had to do what he has to do. He has a very busy schedule and he's in remarkable shape when you consider he's lived on a diet of Lucozade and beefburgers for the whole season. I was concerned about this when I came to Newcastle United Football Club and took him aside to tell him that his game would suffer.

And I was right. His game has suffered and to be honest with you, I can't see it improving for some time when he can get a rest from his busy schedule. I told him to take some time off when we went on our mini tour and he spent some time on the golf course and as a consequence his game has improved. He tells me he knocked a stroke off his handicap. That worries me. It reminds me of what my doctor said to me a few weeks ago. Bobby, he said, you'll be handicapped by a stroke if you don't watch out. So I took his advice and went away for a holiday and I'm enjoying myself even though some of the day trips are a bit hectic. Do you know, they took us from the Caribbean last week all the way to Paris just so we could watch a football match? Now don't get me wrong. These tour companies work in a very competitive market and they are all trying to provide that little special extra.

Now where was I? Paris. That's right. It's a lovely place only spoiled by being full of Frenchmen. A bit like Arsenal isn't it and I felt that Newcastle was following so I am working hard to make it less French and you might expect to see Leonard Perez, Laura Charvet (fancy calling a boy Laura), Didier Goma and Alain Domi leaving us in the near future. I'm not a fan of the French since they boycotted our beef and I'm doing my little bit to get even. I much prefer Portugal and it's colonies (and it's wine) and I'm going to try hard to get some more Portugese influence at Newcastle United Football Club.

Now where was I? Paris. No, not Paris. I was talking about our boys from the North East at Wembley. I thought Alan played well even though his game has suffered and his knock down for Young Martin Owen was class. I was also very pleased with Little Kevin Dyer's performance. He didn't put a foot wrong and did everything the manager asked him to do. I didn't think young Paul from Boro had a very good game. He's a lovely lad is Paul but he's as daft as a brush and is like a breath of fresh air in the changing rooms, especially when he's been out for a night on the beers and kebabs. I miss Paul and I'd love it if we could bring him back to Newcastle. He's obviously got himself sorted now. He's lost a lot of weight and it shows but I think he's gone a bit far and needs to put a few pounds back on. He's also had a chance to get away from it all while he was recovering from his injury and he's got a canny tan now.

The match went a bit stale in the second half and when I saw Kenny Keagan sitting on the bench my heartbeat rose. I thought he might have been given a run out, even though it's a while since he last played for England and it was nice to see him back on the bench. It surely can't be long before the manager reaslises this. Maybe, just maybe they are keeping him back for the European Championships. I suppose we'll find out soon when the manager names his final squad. I believe you will see the name of Kenny Keagan up there with the team. That will surprise a lot of people but not me. You mark my words.

-- Anonymous, May 28, 2000

Answers

Well thank you Robby for words of wisdom beyond your years(!)
Take it easy in that hot sun, and don't let it addle your brain. Your Club needs you ... and all that.

While England did quite well in the first half there were still a number of worrying aspects to the performance. Defensively, I thought we were poor. Seaman looked nervy, the FB's were very average, and Campbell had an awful game - continually losing his man. The only consolation is that we were playing the Worlds #1 team, and the result wasn't important - this might have affected concentration.
I thought we were solid in midfield without being particularly creative, with Beckham and Scholes struggling to exert any real influence on the game. However, I thought Ernie Wise was terrific, and I'd actually play him in the holding role instead of Ince. Up front AS and YMO played well and caused Brazil lots of problems.
The team problems remain to be at FB and wide left. Gary N has no real competition and I guess must play. YKD cannot really be expected to play in that position, so the real question is who is to be stand-in for GN? Keown? At LB, PN isn't too bad defensively, but he actually contrives to provide less than nothing going forward by continually slowing down play to switch the ball onto his right foot. I feel PN is so far below the required standard that if Tony Adams is fit for the Finals, I'd actually consider playing Campbell at LB.
Of course the continuing lack of any left-sided attacking player still leaves the team hopelessly unbalanced, and KK seems no further forward in deciding how to address this key problem. Presumably McManamanamanamanam will come into the team on the left of MF - in a entirely different role to the one he has played so well in for Real Madrid, and a role in which he has failed before for England. Hobson's choice I guess.

-- Anonymous, May 28, 2000

Yep Clarky, fair assessment. Seaman is past it - I think Martyn may get it. Why don't the bliddy Lahndaan press get on Seaman's back instead of Shearer's? OK - stupid question so don't bother answering. Adams will play in the centre pf defence and will probably bring confidence to Campbell - or Keown will form their club partnership. Fullback worries me. It might be better to go with 3 at the back if we can't find a decent defensive pair of FBs. This could allow Beckham on the right of 5, with Scholes, Wise (I agree he played well) and probably Wilcox on the left if fit.

I think Shearer and Owen will be the starting pair up front. That leaves on more place. Macmanamanaman has done nowt, zilch, zippo for England (as too has Beckham if you ask me), but he had a good game for Real last week and everybody seems to be clamouring for him. I'm not sure. I don't think LKD is ready yet - sorry tho' he could get in with Wise and Scholes in the middle. Probably left out in preference to Macca.

-- Anonymous, May 28, 2000

Screacher,

I suspect KK might have contemplated playing three at the back, but the sad fact is that we don't have two top class WB's either. If Le Saux had been fit, I think KK might have been tempted to use this system using YKD and LS at WB.
In truth, I agree with your assessment that YKD isn't quite ready yet for the full international stage, and I wouldn't be at all upset to see him left out of the final squad. However, KK might just see him as cover for GN, as we are really short of FB cover. Given the weakness there, he could have done far worse than to have included Wor Warren in the squad.
BTW, Wilcox is injured and out of contention - he's not good enough either, IMO.

-- Anonymous, May 28, 2000

Clarky - I really don't want to see LKD go if he's going to be understudy to Neville at f/b. He is not a f/b and never will be. Playing him out of position against world class players will only harm his confidence, get he press on his back and end his international career. As far as I know, he's only played one decent game in the position - and I'd hardly call Luxembourg world class oposition.

-- Anonymous, May 29, 2000

I totally agree Screach, but I'm not doing the picking.
We don't appear to have ANY cover at FB (am I missing somone?) so unless KK was prepared to use YKD as cover, we'd be left with no choice but to play a CB, eg Keown. Unless I've forgetten someone else in the squad who could play FB, this is a really bad situation.
You know what KK is like - if he has a problem he's likely to use an attacking option, hence my reasoning that he could take YKD to cover both right M/F and RB! Remember also that Parlour is now out with damaged knee ligaments.

-- Anonymous, May 29, 2000

Interestingly, apparently the Brazilians have been fed on a diet of Mna United and the wealth of the Premiership and imagined that England were a great side. Great quote from a Brazilian commentator: "Brazil got a lucky draw against a side that are much worse than they are cracked up to be".

-- Anonymous, May 29, 2000

I think Sol Campbell can do FB. In fact I'm not sure he hasn't done so under Kevin Keegan.

-- Anonymous, May 29, 2000

Bartinho mentiuoned as possible cover for Neville, but which Neville? Barton has proved he can cope amicably on either side of the defence and if Keegan is going to play 4-4-2 then he definitely needs cover at FB.

Who else could do the job so well, while giving 110% for his country. Blindingly obvious I would have thought!

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000