Monday 22 May
Two thirds of Russian men die drunk and more than half of those die in extreme stages of intoxication, according to a three-year study of Russian males aged between 20 and 55. They have the lowest life expectancy in Europe at 57.4 years.

Sunday 21 May
Naval recruits at a British gunnery school are shouting "bang" rather than firing real shells as part of the Ministry of Defence's drive to save money.

Saturday 20 May
Alabama firefighters spent more than two hours trying to rescue a 275-kilogram pig who plopped into a neighborhood pool to cool off. They finally hoisted her out of the water with a backhoe.

Friday 19 May
Two British neighbors ended up in court after insults about gardening prowess led to them attacking each other with horticulture implements. One threatened violence against the other's garden gnome collection, resulting in an attack with a rake.

Thursday 18 May
A German car club has spread the scent of bears along a busy highway to try to frighten animals away and cut the number of times people run into them, leaving smelly carcasses on the road.

Wednesday 17 May
An Auckland home handyman had an excruciating half-hour when his clothing and then his genitals became caught in a belt sander yesterday. Firefighters had to dismantle the sander to free him. He suffered a minor injury.

Tuesday 16 May
German police arrested a motorist with a blood-alcohol content of 0.45 per cent after he had an accident. Police said the reading was the highest registered by the authorities in the southern town of Karlsruhe. The legal limit is 0.05 per cent.

Tuesday 16 May
Sumo wrestler Asanokiri lost a match and his dignity after his loincloth fell off, exposing his manhood on national television. He had to forfeit under an obscure rule that penalises a wrestler for not wrapping his mawashi belt tight to prevent his privates being exposed.

Sunday 14 May
A Californian animal welfare group is pushing for a complete ban on cosmetic surgery for pets.

-----------------------end

Submitted to tickle the muse on a drear Monday morn....

Regards from OZ

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), May 21, 2000

Answers

A Californian animal welfare group is pushing for a complete ban on cosmetic surgery for pets.

Um, has this become a problem???

(These were hilarious Pieter; hope they cheered you somewhat!)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), May 21, 2000.