We have made a significant step towards strengthening performances for next season with the latest activity in the transfer market.

Expect the new player to be great at clipping some top quality passes which leaves the oponents all over the floor, not to mention being the dog's b*ll*x with shoots. It's that time of year again and I was keen to clear out some deadwood. I found an extremely helpful manager who agreed a free transfer for a later model.

In case your still in the dark, you can stop hedging your bets. The new squad member was put thru it's paces on Saturday and came thru with flying colours.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2000

Answers

Hey Screach, how about signing a giant panda; it comes in the correct "home" kit &, it eats 'shoots' and 'leaves'!

:7)

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2000

....and I assume you didn't fall into the canal Screacher......

well there's an improvement for a start! ;0)

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2000

That notable luminary, the Sunday Sun, reckons BR is after Athletico Madrid's Kiko - "the Spanish Cantona" - at #5mm.
They also reckon that Celtic's Alan Stubbs is on his to La Stade de Merde.
They report Marcelino - back home "recuperating" (from what?? Sun-block fatigue? Treatment table sores?) in Mallorca - as saying that he's going nowhere. "I have three years left on my contract at Newcastle, no-one has said they don't want me, and I intend to be back at SJP after the summer break."
Sound familiar?

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2000

ITK - no, I didn't fall in the canal (thnks for asking about my well-being). I was on the garden side. The terrors of bank trimming are still in store.

Bud - to be honest, I think your's is one of the better suggestions on here. We'll have to do something about that next season. Winter kit = Pandas. Summer kit = Zebras. Flying Euro visits (ahem, maye not next season) = Magpies.

Clarky - we need more information about Kiko and Stubbs. Are they any good with a hedge trimmer? Also, with Big Al coming towards the twilight of his career, I'm on the look-out for a new Shearer.

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2000

According to the Daily Star (dubious I know but...) Fulham are lining up a bid for Bernard Diomede the French Left Winger. Given our glaring need for a left winger and the success of French players in the PL should this former Gullit target be pursued?

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Fulham are supposedly lining up the buying of Saha for 2.5M. I would have liked him here as a good bench/cover man. Any thoughts?

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000

I am being swayed by the thought's on here that the Transfer activity this summer will be fairly quiet. I think there will be a couple of surprise exits and hopefully lots of unsurprising exits!

I'd like to see a couple of decent signings though and the Board know they have to fill the seats. I would expect to see a decent midfielder and a left mifielder come in. Depending on the outgoings in our centre of defence I could see another coming in, possibly Miera from Portugal.

Dabizas has signed a new four year deal. Who's hi partner. As much as is possible I'd love a season where we have an established centre back pairing, when was the last time?!

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000

PSG CHASE TOON TWO by Nic Evans

PARIS SAINT GERMAIN are the latest team to show interest in Newcastle's Didier Domi but have upped the stakes by also looking at teammate Alain Goma, which might persuade manager Bobby Robson to let both go.

Lyon, Liverpool and Milan are also interested in the left-sided Domi who started life at St James's as a left-back but has been moved to midfield if Robson wants to play a three central defensive formation.

Goma, however, is one of a multitude of central defenders that The Magpies have, and may be sacrificed so that Robson has more money to spend in the summer. Yet PSG are looking to pick him up on the cheap, with a bid of around #3 million for the cultured defender.

Both players arrived during the tempestuously short reign of Ruud Guillit from PSG and it seems strange why their former club are looking to take the two players back.

PSG will be set for a massive cash boost having qualified for the Champions League last weekend after a poor 1998-99 campaign. Phillipe Bergeroo, the PSG coach said recently: "One or two familiar faces will be returning next season."

Goma cost #4.5 million from the French club in the summer of 1999 but has been in and out of the side with injuries, making only 16 appearances for the North-Eastern team.

Domi on the other hand has been a big hit with United and has seen his value soar to over #6 million, a fact that will not have bypassed Robson, although he would have to deal with the fact that the diminutive defender has become a firm fans' favourite in his short time with the club.

With Alessandro Pistone fit again and contesting the left-back berth it is likely that one of the two players will exit St James's in the near future.

Take #8m for the couple?

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000

#10 mill at least.

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000

Don't be greedy Dougal...Uncle Bobby needs some cash so I'd settle for 8mill.....

Not that I'd really "like" to see either go....there's a BIG queue ahead of them for players I'd like to see outta the club but the useless tossers can't seem to find the door :((

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000

Yes but, bearing in mind that we'll have trouble pulling replacements as we aren't in Europe, shouldn't we hold on to the better players in the current squad ti get into Europe next season? the sickener is that Villa were in thsi position last season and couldn't buy players cos they weren't in Europe. With their slightly better trophy pedigree, Liverpool had no trouble as players reckoned it would be no time before they were back in Europe again.

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000

It is reported that Leeds are attempting to secure the transfer of Sol Campbell for #13mm. If that fails they apparently are to switch their attention to Rio Ferdinand.

Ambitious, but highly unlikely to be successful - unless they offer even sillier money, of course.

Suggests that fruit, Duberry, could be on his way - but please, not to The Toon.

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000

I don`t see why we can`t keep Domi and Pistone - is it such a sin to have a choice of players? There`s loads of deadwood that should go before those two (IMHO)! (:o)

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000