At 60 years of age I must confess that last week on night shift I had my first and hopefully last experience of cyber sex. I am no prude, seen to much of the world for that but at heart I am just an old fashioned Geordie , cannot be done with porn , thats the way I am.

I play a lot of crib, doms and gin rummy on Yahoo during night shift, usually in the intermediate lounges, had my rating up to 1,650 a while back but a string of poor results has put me down to the13,00`s. Nivver mind last week I was invited to a rated table in the Social Lounge, entered, my partner was named Camelfoot and the 2 geezers we were playing against were Rick 46 (?) and E man. Just happy to be playing I did not carry out a player profile on my partner, but the icon of a rose next to her name suggests female, maternal type,My icon is the friendly old man with the smiling face and white beard, our opponents used the dark sallow foreboding icon. First leg was fine, played the cards, usual banter, lots of Wows and Cool when one says he comes from Scotland. (BTW Ciarra there appears to be a lot of sad people in Michigan, just a observation), During the 2nd leg, Camelfoot began introducing a lot of female Sid James (double entendrees) in her speechplay, had me sussed and this was directed at E man on my right, things like nice hand blues ,I can feel it under the table. By this time Rick was actively encouraging, Buff was still giving it fifteen two, fifteen four and one for his knob plus three for a run and these other three were going like the clappers, still pegging mind you. At one stage to try to lighten it up I shouted "We need a medic" BP is up and rising, rather than discourage them they at the term medic went down the doctors/patient route and the PC was red hot. Now if I had quit my ratings would have tumbled further as the game was unfinished, Yanks don`t you just love them. On a lighter note I played a Mrs Margeret Mellings from North Island ,NZ, last week and during the patter knowing she was a farmers wife told her that my neighbour had just payed 4,100 guineas that day for a Charlais Bull. The fine lady thought this was to steep but Buff font of useless info,and full of himself said no, that was the going price. Later I learned that Margerets main role in life was not the stay at home farmers wife, Expert in NZ, extracting semen from Bulls. Stick to football Buff, ya stupid aul git.

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2000