If so, did you have the same problem I did. I nipped over there from Stoke on Monday to get three tickets sorted - you have to pretend to be a home fan/neutral on these occasions! Conversation went something like this.

Me: Can I have three tickets for Saturday please?

Lady at ticket window: What's you customer number?

Me: Sorry I don't have one.

Lady: Have you been to Pride Park before?

Me: Yes once, two years ago.

Lady: What's your name and address.

(Foolishly I give it - she fiddles with computer whilst asking ...)

Lady: Where do you want to sit?

Me: In the Toyota Stand please (always good to demonstrate some local knowledge on these occasions!)

Lady: I see that last time you came it was to see Newcastle as well.

Me: Yes, that was a coincidence, I just came to see the new ground. I'm actually a Port Vale season ticket holder. I'm very depressed, I just want to see some decent football and you're the nearest Premiership team.

Lady: Are you sure about this? We can't risk putting Newcastle fans in the home section.

Me: Yes, I'm sure. There are three of us coming - two Vale fans and a mate who supports Derby (true by the way).

Lady: I'm responsible for these tickets, are you sure?

Me: Yes, look, here's my Port Vale credit card.

Lady: My name will be on this ticket sale, I don't want any trouble.

Me: I'm 5 feet tall, I'm 49, I'm a schoolteacher, my husband whom you see behind me is even older. I just want to see the match.

Lady: Well OK then, if you're sure.

Can someone please explain why I have to handle the truth in this rather cavalier fashion just to watch a footie match?!!!!

-- Anonymous, May 05, 2000

Answers

I had the same problem for the Sheffield Wed game. In the end I said, I am on my own a lone female, what could I do?

And he give me a look men the world over are famous for that said 'plenty!' but he gave me the ticket anyway.

-- Anonymous, May 05, 2000

Interestingly enough, I have this kind of trouble getting NUFC tickets all the time, but that's to sit in our end. Still, next time we're at Wembley I'll try getting seats in the Royal Box.

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2000

I didn`t realise that clubs did that. I suppose that, assuming everyone answers honestly (big assumption I know) then they have quite a good idea of who is sitting where, should there be any trouble.But I can see loads of loop holes in that sort of system, and it`s a bit of a pain getting the third degree like that, especially when it is pretty obvious that you`re not hooligan material. You`re not are you Jacko? (;o)

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2000

I've had to indulge in subterfuge on many occasions before to get into grounds but I've never been faced with the computer technology which the Derby fan police used on me. Fancy having all me details on computer like that when I've only been to one game there before. I suppose the moral is to pay by cash all the time.

It used to be quite fun in the late 80s when clubs introduced those bliddy silly membership schemes. You may remember that in an attempt to segregate away fans many home areas were accessible only with a membership card. As per usual, the away fans were standing out in the rain - to sit down and keep dry at many grounds you "had to be a member". Consequently, I was a valued member of 14 different league clubs at one point - including Leeds who were ground breakers in the technology stakes - I remember buying a match ticket there about 10 years ago and finding me name was printed on it. The long term consequences of this scam are that I still get regular requests by post seeking my valued support in selling Christmas raffle tickets for Bradford City, Reading, Wolves, Birmingham, Oxofrd United ....... etc!

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2000

I've had to do that at most games this season, It's one of the problems where the club give season tickets holders too much time to claim their tickets before us plebs.

I had a very strange conversation with West Ham. I had spoken to the Newcastle ticket office 2 days before the match who advised that although they would send me a ticket, it would be tight with the post. They said that the unsold tickets were being couriered to West Ham & I could call West Ham at 9am the next day to get a ticket which I could pick up before the match, fine.

I called WH the next day and asked for a ticket. WH ticket bimbo  We have tickets for the Noocarsell end but we are not going to sell them. Me- Eh? Why WH ticket bimbo  we decided because the WH end is sold out. Me- Eh? Why WH ticket bimbo  So we decided not to sell them. Me- Eh? I thought it would be sensible for a company in the entertainment industry that relies on ticket sales as a major source of revenue to actually sell tickets. This seems a strange way to reu a business you must have lots of money. WH ticket bimbo  yes we have, we decided not to sell them for safety. Me- Eh? Why WH ticket bimbo  Were not selling them ok. Me  Could you give me a valid reason or let me speak to someone who can. WH ticket bimbo  its safety Me-So its safer for me to go to the slum that is East London, buy a ticket from joe public, and watch the game from the West Ham end as a Newcastle fan rather than me buy a ticket for the right end. WH ticket bimbo  its safety click!

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2000

When once asked where I came from, I wanted to say "I'm neutral" but just ended up saying "nowhere!"

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2000

Happened to me this season at Watford....

They asked who I was supporting and I said I was a neutral and she handed over 3 tickets as easy as you like....must be because of my scouse accent eh!! ;))

Either that or she thought that I looked sweet and unlikely to cause trouble :))

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2000