I'm beginning to wonder if Carol has already made her decision to move to Seattle (if that is what she's doing)? Even if she isn't ready to admit it to herself yet, it seems pretty likely.

Last week, she and Luka kissed. I'm guessing Carol was feeling guilty and confused by it, and hadn't seen Luka since.

This week she turned 33, and typically was probably re-evaluating her life. The decisions she's made, the mistakes she's made, her goals and dreams, where she thought she'd be by this age, where she wants to be, and what she has to show for herself.

The gift from Doug. Obviously a sentimental gift that had a lot of meaning for the two of them. I believe Carol may have begun to think, "I may be giving all of this up. For what...?" She seemed sorrowful, happy, and wistful as she related the tradition and thought about Doug.

Next was Carol's heartwrenching admission to Kerry, "I hate my life." What does she hate about it? She loves her job and she loves her daughters. We already know she misses Doug, so one can deduce that what she's so unhappy with is that Doug's not in her life as much as she'd really like, or that there's nobody to "catch" her when she falls.

We then find out that Carol had been up on the roof, probably continuing to mull over issues, possibly remembering the times she spent on the roof when she was happy -- sunbathing with Susan, cuddling with Doug, talking to Mark, etc. Reminiscing over times past and wishing she was there again. It is THEN that she gently tells Luka she can't have dinner with him. Basically, she looks confused, conflicted, and upset.

I could be all wrong on this, but I feel there may be some importance to Carol turning down Luka's dinner offer at the end of the episode -- after she's had an entire emotionally-draining day where the past was a present factor. Quite possibly she just realized that, regardless of whether or not she's going to Doug, she's not ready for another relationship. It was good that she told Luka now, rather than later. IMO, she told him as soon as she realized it would never work.

SO...that was rather long. Anyhow, that has been whirling around in my mind -- Carol's made her decision, though she may not be ready to admit that to herself.

-- Arianne (CarolRossSusanGreene@yahoo.com), May 05, 2000

Answers

Maybe it's me; maybe it's bad writing, but I am not getting a good feeling about Carol going to Seattle. I am getting the message that she is not going TO Doug, she is escaping FROM the er, life as a single mother, etc. We are hearing about her problems taking care of the girls as a single mother, not being able to keep up with her work, child-care hassles, but not that much about missing Doug. I think you're right, though. Carol has pretty much made her decision, and it is the right one. If this were real life, though, I would say that I just hope she made it for the right reasons.

-- Donna Wolf (wolffamily@mediaone.net), May 05, 2000.

Did anyone else really miss Doug? All I could think about whe4n Luka handed her the flowers and said Happy Birthday was the episode in season three, where Doug plans a surprise party for her. I've never really missed Doug, and this was the first time I actually had.

-- Kimmy (swiss_cheesed1953@yahoo.com), May 06, 2000.

Lots of us miss Doug, we're just tired of posting only to be told that Doug sucked, Doug is catting around in Seattle, or Doug is a rat. So, most of the Doug fans I know have taken discussion to private lists. :)

-- Phyl (erfan@flash.net), May 07, 2000.

I still miss Doug!

-- Elaine (mrsclooney78@hotmail.com), May 07, 2000.