Match Number 9

26 November 1997, Barcelona Away, Nou Camp, we lost 1-0. A stay-away policy from the home fans robbed this game of a lot of its spectacle, and our lack of power and direction put paid to the rest. Of course, didn't stop several thousand silly b*ggers waving their shirst about in the rain and couldn't take away the pleasure of Aaron Hughes on his debut.

Points Hislop 1 Beresford 2 Peacock 2 Pearce 1 (sub) Albert 2 Hughes 1 (sub) Pistone 2 Batty 2 Barnes 2 Ketsbaia 2 Tomasson 2 Watson 2 Hamilton 2 You can see where Chelsea went wrong...

Results: Match 9

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Ath B'worth	1-2	Bar Samba
Brdo Utd	3-0	Bor C'bch
Brwry Drp Utd	1-2	HTIN?
Mac Mar	5-0	Min Acad
Pil Con	1-1	Steph Sup
TFNASS	1-0	ITKHWB
T Goons	1-0	Toon Trag
W'end OB	0-1	W'stck Co

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Bax Bas	1-3	Bla Rac
Ceptic	2-2	Che Chop
Dud Boys	0-4	Dunc's D's
How Har	3-1	JHP
PPP	3-2	PLU
Q Mech	0-1	Real Z
Spayne	0-1	G'gate
TSW	1-2	Y Yobs

Pete's Porkie Pies are the toast of the league by just managing to end Proper Lard Unathletic's 100 percent record, whilst the Toon Goons demonstrate that winning becomes a habit. Something that the Team Formerly Known as Scratchy's Scrotums will be hoping to find out after their first victory of the season. Of course, you will have observed that actions speak louder than words as Jessie's High Pants were given a wedgie at the Broon Bowl :-)

BBS Premier Corinthian League Table

Position	Team	Won	Drawn	Lost	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Brewery Droopers United	7	1	1	22	12	10	22
2	Athletico Backworth	6	1	2	23	16	7	19
3	MacBeth's Marauders	6	1	2	21	14	7	19
4	MinesaS&N Academicals	6	0	3	21	10	11	18
5	Steph's Superstars	5	1	3	16	12	4	16
6	Toon Tragedy	5	0	4	18	8	10	15
7	Beardo United	5	0	4	17	15	2	15
8	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	5	0	4	12	11	1	15
9	Barton's Samba	5	0	4	11	12	-1	15
10	Pilgrim's Converts	4	1	4	14	18	-4	13
11	How Toon is Now?	4	0	5	12	20	-8	12
12	Wallsend Old Boys	3	2	4	11	14	-3	11
13	Woodstock County	2	0	7	12	19	-7	6
14	Toon Goons	2	0	7	12	21	-9	6
15	The ITK Heaton World Beaters	2	0	7	11	21	-10	6
16	TFKASS	1	1	7	6	16	-10	4

BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table

Position	Team	Won	Drawn	Lost	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Proper Lard Unathletic	8	0	1	25	5	20	24
2	Duncan's Disorderlies	7	0	2	20	4	16	21
3	Yelli's Yobs	6	0	3	24	15	9	18
4	Quantum Mechanicals	6	0	3	14	8	6	18
5	Real Zaragossy	5	0	4	18	18	0	15
6	Jessie's High Pants	5	0	4	16	17	-1	15
7	Pete's Porkie Pies	5	0	4	9	12	-3	15
8	Howdon Harriers	4	1	4	14	11	3	13
9	The Stellar Warriors	4	1	4	13	15	-2	13
10	The Gallowgate	3	2	4	6	13	-7	11
11	Blaydon Racers	3	0	6	11	16	-5	9
12	Spayne	3	0	6	6	13	-7	9
13	Dudley Boys	3	0	6	6	22	-16	9
14	Chevy's Choppers	2	2	5	15	16	-1	8
15	Ceptic	2	1	6	11	15	-4	7
16	Baxter Basics	2	1	6	12	20	-8	7

Tomorrow's fixtures are as follows:

Fixtures: Match 10

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Ath B'worth	Vs	Bor C'bch
Brdo Utd	Vs	Bar Samba
Brwry Drp Utd	Vs	Min Acad
Mac Mar	Vs	HTIN?
Pil Con	Vs	ITKHWB
TFNASS	Vs	Steph Sup
T Goons	Vs	W'stck Co
W'end OB	Vs	Toon Trag

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Bax Bas	Vs	Che Chop
Ceptic	Vs	Bla Rac
Dud Boys	Vs	JHP
How Har	Vs	Dunc's D's
PPP	Vs	Real Z
Q Mech	Vs	PLU
Spayne	Vs	Y Yobs
TSW	Vs	G'gate

There have already been complaints about teams getting back-to-back home fixtures at a vital point in the season; the League Chairman wishes it to be known that he doesn't give a monkeys :-)

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Answers

Oi Softie

Who are you calling a silly b*gger? It was a damn good day oot. Just like Whitley Bay on a wet Bank Holiday - 'cept the booze was cheaper!

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

I,m a happy camper tonight. My Porkie Pies knocked off PLU, ending their winning streak. Top half of the league now, eyes on a promotion spot. Hope me lads stay away from the pies for the next game against Real Zaragossy. And yes, I know the last goal looked offside but my brother the linesman says it deffo was not. We,ll take it.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Oh no! Thrashed on me own doorstep! The `other` manager is going to be unbearable all weekend! (:o)

-- Anonymous, April 29, 2000

News Flash. Post match news conference confirmed that a member of PLU had taken a 'salad' from Pizza Hut the previous night. This was confirmed by a 'substance test'. I can only apologise to our supporters. The player involved will be dealt with at an internal investigation at Cosiminis Fish Shop.

-- Anonymous, April 29, 2000

e-i-e-i-e-i-o up the Notionless League we go....

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2000

Local Bragging rights in the Hillingdon Derby to TFKASS against ITK's World beaters....we may be bottom, but every dog has it's day (and my what a bitch this season is).

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2000