Talk about hair salons

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Got any horror stories? Do you have a stylist whom you swear by, or are you like me, still searching for your beauty guru? Do stylists intimidate you? Do you get what you want?

Describe the worst haircut you ever got.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Answers

The worst haircut I have ever received was when I was a Junior in high school. My mother, who normally cut my hair, sent me (with my hair that WAS roughly 2 inches above my rear... yes, very long) to a lady whom she knew for years, but had never had a hair cut from herself. (Mom has used the same stylist for 20 years). I told this lady that I merely wanted a TRIM, and she lopped off my long blonde locks to just barely below my shoulders. I cried when she cut, of course, the lower layer of the hair on the back of my head, as there was no going back from there. I still cringe when I think of it even now. It caused some BIG salon trauma for me! I have not had a bad cut since... my hair is all one length and blonde, naturally wavy, that can go from curly to straight in a matter of 5 minutes of brushing, it is long but not near as long as it used to be, but it is the way I want it. Life is too short to waste on bad hair days!

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

I love my haircutter. I found her by accident - my then-boyfriend decided to get his long hair cut and went to someone in the same salon. I wanted to get my hair cut too but the woman who did his didn't cut womens' hair, so she referred me to Sherry. That was in 1985. I've been going to her ever since.

I like her because although she works in fancy salons she is very down to earth and willing to work with me. I want low maintenance hair and I won't use a blow dryer. She can deal with that. She'll sometimes suggest something but if I veto it, she doesn't try to talk me into it. If I suggest something, she'll maybe point out that that won't work with my hair, or with not blow drying, but usually it's fine.

I've gone from shoulder length to super short hair, bangs, no bangs, and now I'm growing it out again.

She did suggest I let her dye my eyebrows, and I gave in, and she was right. It looks better. She never tries to sell me product and has once or twice mentioned some other service the salon has, but then dropped it.

I hate the small talk chit chat that goes on in places like salons. Just shut up and work on my hair. With Sherry, since we've known each other so long we've gotten to know each other and actually talk about what's actually going on in our lives. We can talk about our pets, plus we found out we have a friend in common. I also find her entertaining because her dad is a plastic surgeon and she's always getting work done like botox on her forehead, liposuction, injections to plump up her lips, etc.

I am very lucky to have never had a really horrible haircut, thank god.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


Hair Salons stink. Literally. But really, it's a rare thing to walk into a salon, picture in hand, and walk out with the cut you wanted. I stopped getting my hair cut. Cold turkey. My hair is down to my hips now and healthier than it's ever been. I never get split ends, so that makes it easy for me to avoid salons and just have my Mom trim my hair once a year. I love long hair, and it's nice to have the choice not to cut it. If you don't like long hair, I suppose you don't have that choice. Some great sites for long hair lovers are www.tlhs.org and www.longhairlovers.com

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

I cut my own hair until I was in my mid-twenties. That was exciting... especially during the shaved-head random-bits-sticking-out phases. It got a little more difficult when I wanted to do things that had, you know, straight lines and shapes and things.

I started going to the same stylist as the guy I was living with at the time. She had her own salon back then, and she's just -- good. Once she figured out that when I described something weird I meant it, I think she actually started to enjoy doing stuff to my head. She's done it all -- long, short, dyed, streaked (odd colours), bleached white, shaved (last summer), and done it all really well.

I did have a bad moment last haircut but one. She was a bit upset about something, and cut my bangs practically off. First one side was too short, then the other, and I walked out with this wispy nothing on top of my face. However, when I went back last week, she said, "I did the bangs a bit short last time, didn't I?" and the cut was fine.

Yes -- relationship is long dead, but I'm still seeing his old hair stylist. She doesn't have her own salon any more, though; she has back problems, and had to cut back on her working hours.

Worst hairdo I ever had? The cheap perm from the woman who did hair for hospital patients. I was very poor at the time, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. She was taking out the rollers when I felt something odd. I felt it again, and then she made a surreptitious movement. I looked -- and SHE WAS PUTTING THREE ROLLERFULS OF MY HAIR IN HER POCKET!!! It was the first perm I'd ever had. I had a huge bald spot at the back of my head for weeks.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


I'm glad to finally meet someone else who hates getting her hair cut. I've grown my hair to my waist before just out of sheer dread of going to the salon.

When I was young, the lady that cut my hair cut it any way she wanted. Sometimes I ended up with "wings," which were no longer fashionable. Sometimes she put all my hair in a ponytail and cut the end of the ponytail off - nice little layered effect. I think I just wore a poneytail for a long time afterward.

As an adult, I've tried to get hip instead of having straight, one length, blonde hair. I once got my hair cut in that really popular Jennifer Aniston hair style - what a nightmare.

I'm now resigned that my hair will always be one length (various lengths of one length), blonde, and straight. I can, however, put it in the ponytail, a french twist, and million other things... I'm tired of trying to change this little aspect about myself - there are so many other things to work on ;-)

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000



Ooh, Lizzie hit one of my peeves, and one of the reasons why I think the more expensive places never give me a decent hair cut. They never believe me when I say I don't want to have to do anything to my hair. I actually don't mind blowdrying as long as it doesn't take very long, but I don't want to have to do it just to make my hair presentable. Matthew (the man who gave me the Princess Diana cut) assured me that natural blondes like us can't possibly leave the house without using mousse and a blow dryer.

Yes, we can, and yes, we do.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


I think the key is to find someone who'll listen. It sounds like you lucked out this time, Beth. Stick with this stylist! Give her big tips!

I actually hate getting my hair cut because I don't really like anyone touching my hair. The whole thing is an annoying ordeal, but since I like how I look afterwards, it's worth it.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


For a long time, this guy I absolutely loved cut my hair. I really liked him, and his chitchat didn't feel intrusive at all. I sort of considered him a friend. Which is really too bad, because he gave me kind of bad haircuts. I'd try to explain that I wanted something more hip, and he'd just lop it off in a straight bob. Again. But I kept going to him because I liked him so much. And then I moved, and had to go through the trauma of trying out different places where the stylists are nice and they can also give good cuts. So there's this very hip little salon in the town where I live now, but their attempts at hipness are not always consistent. They gave my roommate this weird choppy thing that made her look like she'd been caught in farm machinery. But after quite awhile of avoiding them, I finally buckled and went there. An British apprentice (meaning she only cost $20,) who really did not want to chat, sat me down and asked me if I wanted to keep my layers. I said, "yeah, I guess" and she made this hideous face. So then I said, "well, what do you think?" and she told me that "for this season, I'd go with something a little more straight at the bottom....and ABOVE the shoulders." I didn't really care. So I put myself into her hands. And she shampooed and cut without asking me a single question about school or boys or the latest movie I'd seen, and blowdried with Zenlike concentration, and voila, I had the cutest, most *me* haircut ever. It was wonderful. And then I was walking to class, thinking "I am so damn cute with my cute flippy straight-at-the-bottom haircut" when I completely wiped out on the stairs of the Humanities Building.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

I dread hair salons. I don't speak their language, so I wouldn't know how to ask for what I want even if I knew what I wanted ... which I don't. So I don't go anymore. I like my hair best long anyway. I'd really sort of like to do something with it that frames my face better (vain, vain, vain, yeah yeah, tell me another) but I'm scared to take the risk.

Oh, yes, for the people who know something about me: The gender thing doesn't help one bit.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


Oh, by the by, Beth, the way to keep salon appointments is to make the next one when you go in for the current one. That way they call and remind YOU.

-c, who just went for leg-waxing again today and hasn't gone off-schedule since beginning this system

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000



I like going to the salon. I do go to one of the frou-frou ones where they bring you a glass of herbal tea while you wait for your appointment, but I liked it just as much when I was going to American Hairitage down the street (what is it with hair salons and puns, anyway?).

I think the real trick is in finding a stylist you trust. The one I have now knows that when I say "I want my hair short, dammit!" it doesn't mean I want a couple inches off, it means I. Want. It. Short! That's actually hard to find in a stylist -- I went through a succession of three or four who actually refused to cut my hair because "I'd regret it later." Gee thanks -- who's paying who, here?

Anyway, the girl I have now knows how to cut my hair so that it looks good both styled, and when I just wash it and let it air-dry on my way to work. She's great. And besides, I love the atmosphere at the salon. They take care of you and pamper you and all that sort of nice thing. It's worth it to go do that sort of thing every couple months or so. In my opinion.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


HUGE HUGE HUGE pet peeve.

Takes 15-20 minutes to cut my hair.

And 45 minutes to dry it. They blow, they roll, they blow they roll.

every damn time.

I hate having my hair dryed like that. ANd not matter what I say, it always always always happens.

I hate getting my hair cut. I hate it even more because I have wierd red hair (not a normal red) and its thick so I have to put up with the "your hair is so beautiful", "is it real", "its so gorgeous" from every fucking stylist in the place. Yes woo is me right. But it gets really annoying.

And lastly, anyone who can't tell my hair is real does NOT get to cut it. I have walked out on stylists if they ask me that.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


Beth, your entry today was preaching to the choir. I think my bad haircut karma is all the result of my mom allowing my dad to take me to the barber for my haircuts for a couple of years. Then, she thought it would be OK for a family friend to give me my first perm. I still shudder when I remember the boys in my 8th grade class rolling on the ground laughing at my new poodle do. Right about then I started making my own decisions on hair salons. It went OK for a few years; I mean, there are only so many ways for a hairdresser to mess up "perm it, big bangs." Then, I went to college, and decided I didn;t want the perm any more. Unfortunately, I had very long permed hair at that point. Once it finally grew out, I did the whole stright one length thing for a year or two - letting my sister trim the length every now and then.

Then, I got that layered look that Friends made so popular. Since then, I've gone through a hairdresser a year trying to find the one who won't talk me out of my choices but will offer suggestions that actually fit me, won't bankrupt me but will offer some of the big price salon perks (like, say, a can of diet coke while I'm waiting), has someone there who can wax my eyebrows or give me a manicure, yet won't push me to spend my whole day (and month's salary) on the salon's services and products.

Quite frankly, I don't think such a place exists. You know, seeing how many people share the same complaints has me thinking of changing careers. Anyone else wanna start a no-talk, no-pressure, we do what you ask haor salon in the DC area?

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


I am also a member of the every three or four months (maybe) hair- cut brigade. I always mean to get it cut every six weeks, but it just never works out that way, and I'm a poor graduate student.

Anyone who reads my journal may remember my hair coloring disaster of last spring, where I ended up looking like Kitty Bartholomew. I went to my friend's stylist to get it fixed, and I've been going to her ever since. She's not super chatty, but she also does the hair of two of my friends, so we can always talk about them (ha!). She does what I want, she isn't pushy, and she doesn't push product. Her prices are kind of high, but it's worth it, and once I graduate and get a job, I plan to go more often and start getting more done with color.

My strategy has always been to find someone whose hair always looks great, and ask that person where they go. If it's a small enough town, you will start hearing the same name over and over again.



-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

I never had a haircut until I was about 25. I think I thought it would hurt or something. And I was worried that once I started cutting my hair, I would have to keep going back for maintenance, and what if I couldn't afford it?

But finally I did the mid-20s makeover thing. First I got my ears pierced. Then I went to a hairdresser who had been credited in Sassy Magazine for styling some long-haired model's hair. And it was obvious to this woman, who looked exactly like Jane Pratt, that I was scared shitless, and the less she did, the better. The trim she gave me was an improvement, though.

I started asking real people for recommendations and ended up with Laurance the Expensive, a society hairdresser who always had wine and fresh flowers in his townhouse salon. He gave great haircuts that grew out beautifully. He also used so much hairspray that the initial styling lasted almost a week. I finally dropped him because I couldn't take the obviously uninterested small talk (we acted like Novocaine on each other, though I did get along with his boyfriend who was the shampoo guy, and I stuck with Laurance longer than I should have because of the boyfriend) and I was going back to school and wouldn't be able to afford him anymore.

Next, I walked into a $25 salon and when they asked what I wanted, I said, "Like Jackie Kennedy Onassis" (she never got a bad haircut in her life, did she?), and the stylist said, "Who?" and I suddenly felt very old. Jackie O was still alive then, and living not 30 blocks from the salon. Mediocre haircut.

Then in a different $25 salon I lucked out and got Jet (everyone there had a nom de ciseaux, like Jet or Blade), a gorgeous guy with tattoos who turned out to be a genius, even better than Laurance. So I was OK for several years, until he moved back to Austin. He's probably doing some Austin journaler's hair now.

It is best to draw a veil over my haircut experiences for the past few years. Uninspired bobs ... not enough layers ... Princess Leia earmuffs ... Darth Vader triangle hair (I swiped that one from Sometimes Deb)... bangs from a '70s bowl haircut ... what word in "I usually part my hair to one side" didn't you understand?

I'm growing it long again.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000



I'm with you Beth -- the best cuts I've gotten have tended to be real simple blunt cuts, including one at a barber shop.

When my mom had butt-length hair, she used to get it trimmed at the barber shop, because there was no sense in blowing a huge amount of money on getting 1/2 inch of ends removed.

Worst hair cut: Last year at the salon in the mall in Springfield, VA. Got this weird guy named Ty, who gave me a really GREAT backrub and a HORRIBLE haircut.

I am very shy in salons -- the stylists do intimidate me, because most of them are so peppy and talk so fast and kind of steamroller you with fashion advice.

Ty gave me _layers_ something I've resisted all of my life. He also wanted to put streaky highlights in, but I drew the line at color. Like a fool I let him do the "light layering."

It looked great when I walked out of there, with a light hairspray to hold it all up. But I told him before he started snipping that I'm a low-maintenance girl. I only use shampoo and conditioner. I don't blow dry. I don't mousse or hairspray. I own a comb and brush. End of story.

A day later with all the goop washed out, all I had was a terrible fly-away haircut, that I couldn't quite put up in a pony tail and made me look like Janis Joplin if left down.

Best hair cut: Same salon, but from a very cool chick named Mercedes. Mercedes was wonderful. She's a bit younger than I am, has a very nice attitude and is energetic without being obnoxious. When I told her I wanted a bob that would encourage my waves to curl, she understood exactly what I wanted, explained what she was going to do in very simple terms and why she was going to do it and then did it without much fuss.

Results: perfect. Exactly what I've wanted for years. She did a fairly ordinary blunt cut, but shaped the ends of sections of hair to get the lift in that I wanted. My hair curls again for the first time in years, without any help from curlers. All I have to do is towel it off and let it air dry. I can still put it up, because it's just long enough for a pony tail, but short enough to stay out of my face.

I wish I'd found Mercedes sooner, like when I was trying to correct the mess that Ty made.

Sabs also had Mercedes do his hair right before we left -- she's so good she can give him a buzz cut using _scissors_.

She also told him that she might be coming out to California. I have my fingers crossed, 'cos otherwise it's back to the long search for a good stylist ... though I do have a recommendation from Lucy about an area stylist whom Sabs is almost guaranteed to like.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


Here's my advice for having good hair. From actual experience:

1) Find a chatty gay guy stylist with an active social life who has some clue about style and color. He will cut your hair like the wind while telling you all about his latest party or vacation and all you have to do is nod and smile and occasionally say something like "What a bitch!" or "Cancun sounds fabulous!" or "Forget John - Chuck was way hotter!"

2) Let him do what he wants to your hair, within limits. Bring pictures for him to work from if you have an idea in mind. Make sure he writes down the components of any colors created by blending. He should do this if he's any good anyway.

3) Don't let him talk you into manicures or pedicures or buying expensive hair crap, unless the stuff he put on as part of the style last time made your hair feel perfect.

4) Try not to faint when you pay the bill. Tip him well. Try to ignore the fact that he drives a much better car than you do and takes fabulous vacations to foreign lands while you stay home and garden. Try not to notice that he wears all this season's designer clothes while you shlump around in last year's Ross rejects.

5) Make the next appointment before you leave the salon.

This is a formula to leave you poor and feeling socially inadequate, but with great hair. Worked for me, anyway. I've had BAD stringy impossible hair all my life, until I met Ernesto. I now have color I love, hair that bounces, clean straight cut lines, a tiny bit of style, a 10 minute hair care regimen, and a clear sense of what I'm missing out on in life.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


I wish hair just didn't exist. No hair, no bad hair days.

I still get my hair cut in Illinois. It took me 6 years of living there to find someone who could give me the perfect haircut. (It's a 10-hour drive so I don't get it cut too frequently).

One of the first things someone said to me when I got to Blacksburg was "you didn't get that haircut in Blacksburg, did you?". Uh, no...but shouldn't I be able to? It is just a very straight, very precise bob that is ever so slightly longer at the front than at the back. It's shaped at the ends so that it hangs nicely. It should *not* take a rocket scientist to cut my hair into this shape, but apparently it's so rare here as to be immediately recognizable as a "foreign haircut".

Sigh.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


Does Ernesto work in San Francisco????

Judy, who's poor husband has been trimming her hair for ten years, but who does not have time to type the horror stories that came before.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


Kathy --

FYI -- if you want to try it out, Mercedes works at Kenese in the Springfield Mall, in Springfield VA.

The salon itself is still kind of annoying, but they do have a manicurist there too and Mercedes never pushed me into buying anything.

That could be why she was still there doing another haircut at like 10pm one night when we walked out of the movie theater.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


Ernesto is in La Canada, sorry. Still, seems like you could find an Ernesto substitute in San Francisco with a little effort!

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Oh, man, I can't believe that I forgot to tell you my worst horror story.

I went to this salon near my office. The stylist had one of those goofy names like "Tov" or "Vosh" or something, and he had a fake-ass French accent that kept morphing into something else. He put me in the chair and scowled at me for a while, and then he put this stinky gel stuff on my head and told me to stay there for fifteen minutes. "What's that?" I asked, very timidly (he was very scary). "It will fix this ... this mess. It will give your hair strength and sheen and brilliance."

Then he flounced off.

He came back after twenty minutes or so, snapped his fingers at the shampoo girl, and told her to wash the gel out of my hair. When I came back to the mirror I could see my hair sticking out in all directions like I had just been electrocuted. Mr. Smartypants (since I can't recall his real fake name, I'll just call him that) said, "You will let me fix the color, no?" (My hair was jet black at that point, but fairly healthy because I was only using semi permanent dye, never blow dryed, and hadn't done anything else to it for a long time.)

I said, "No, I will not let you fix the color. I just want a haircut."

Mr. Smartypants said, "But I cannot have you telling people that Mr. Smartypants cut your hair, when it looks like this. You will wait here."

He left. I could see him through the window smoking a cigarette on the sidewalk and talking on a cell phone.

I sat there for about fifteen minutes, wondering who the fuck this guy was and how I was going to get up and walk out with all this crap on my head. A while later a woman showed up and came inside. She told me that she was going to cut my hair instead of Mr. Smartypants. "He says he can't do your hair. I think you really upset him."

She cut my hair. It was far and away the worst bob I've ever had, and I've had a lot of them. There were random long pieces that didn't fit anywhere, and it was crooked across the back. One side was longer than the other, and not intentionally so.

She charged me $75, and for the first (and hopefully last) time in my life, I didn't leave a tip.

That haircut was the gift that kept on giving, too: as I said, my hair had been in relatively good condition when I went in -- shiny, no split ends, very soft. For months afterwards, my hair broke off when I combed it, and it was never shiny again until I grew out whatever that crap was that they put on it that day.

People ask me about that salon sometimes, and I always tell them that it's fine except for the rodent problem. "I think they keep dead bodies in the back room," I tell people.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


I've never found a stylist that I've totally liked since moving to NY 5 years ago...

so I wait until I go home (WA) and have my best friend's sister cut my hair. I know everything about her, so she can't intimidate me -- and if it's bad she knows she'll be hearing about it til the day she dies.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


I was inspired by Beth's entry and this thread to finally find out what a mullet is. Turns out, I was Queen of the Mullets in the early eighties! I loved my mullet! I started a whole mullet craze among the lesbian party girls I knew in Somona County at the time.

Who knew? I probably even have a picture of my famous mullet up on my "about me" page. Oh well.

(I obviously have too much time on my hands this morning)

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


I live in the South. I avoid salons at ALL COSTS. Unless I want to shell out some pretty substantial sums in order to go to one of the frou-frou places, I don't go to a hairdresser at all. Either my mother or someone else I beg will cut it for me.

I can share AllieAnne's misery--it sounds like complaining but it IS obnoxious to be in a salon and have natural red hair. Mine is pretty bright (what do you mean by wierd?) and the stylists always seem to think that they have a right to touch it, even if they aren't the ones cutting my hair. Then it's a twenty minute conversation on where the red hair came from, then I have to explain that just because my parents have brown hair I'm not necessarily adopted, etc. etc.

Live in the South and go into a run-of-the-mill salon and have thick, curly hair. I dare you. You will walk out of that place an hour and a half later with hair that causes you to duck through doorways. The heighth my hair has achieved at the hands of these people is absolutely stunning. I am convinced that there are hundreds of little holes in the ozone directly above these salons due to the high output of hairspray, as well. Remember, when it comes to salons down here- bigger is better, a hell of a lot bigger is even better, and the ability to jump off buildings and glide down on the large poof of hair surrounding your head is the best.

That's why I've decided not to even try to get my hair cut until I move up North. I'm hoping it will be a little better up there. The stylists down here never do what I want and I am not big on pointless small talk. I ask them an easy style for my hair with not a lot of maintenance and they act like I am violating some sort of Hair Law for Southern Women. It's big hair country down here. My worst haircut would have to have been from my mother. It's semi-tricky to cut curly hair even and I ended up one year with one side of my hair a full inch longer than the other side. Attempts to even it out (also by my mother, who incidentally had had surgery the week before and was still on her painkillers, now that I think of it--maybe it wasn't such a good time) produced a kind of orange, stumpy halo around my head that took forever to grow out. It didn't really bother me and it made for really funny pictures and a lot of jokes with my mom. Never have really been too concerned about my hair.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


Forgive my ignorance, but what's a chelsea?

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

It's a very ugly haircut that skinhead girls used to wear sometimes (maybe they still do). It is the exact opposite of the modified bob we had discussed. Getting rid of it required me to have my hair cut to about an inch long all over my head.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Hey! Some of us thought we looked damn cute with a Chelsea : )

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

I love my hair stylist, Steve. I've gone through many styles over the years, and most of them looked pretty good (I've been blessed, I know, especially after going to Supercuts as often as I did), but I've never had a regular stylist until about three years ago.

I met Steve at a friend's party. My friend helped him out on the weekends for a little extra cash and free haircuts and they became friends.

I went to him for the first time in '97 and fell in love with his haircuts. He's not perfect. Once or twice he cut my bangs too short and my last cut, while still cute, wasn't quite what I wanted. Plus he always wants my hair to be kinda wild and a little poufy, while I prefer a sleeker hair flip thing. But he still cuts it the way I like and no matter what I can make it look the way I like it, usually with little fuss. And he charges me a really good price. But I think that's 'cause I'm *special*.

So if anyone lives in L.A. and you want to find a new stylist, go to Hairspace on Barham Blvd., near the Oakridge Apts and ask for Steve (he owns the place). He's sweet, he knows all of his regulars very well, flirts like you wouldn't believe (which is fine for me) and he just expanded his place to include a manicurist, facialist and massage therapist, so it's turning into a regular day spa.

Tell him Carol Cyr sent ya!

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


Reading about Jill's Ernesto, reminded me of my precious Reni. I miss him so much.

Speaking of nice cars and trips and gay hair professionals? Reni drives a white Corvette, and is often tan and glowing from a nice vacation. He cuts fabulous hair. And he will do anything you ask for. Anything. I would say blond, Reni would make me Heather Locklear, I would say short, he was not afraid. He cut my hair in California, now that I live in NC, I have to settle for Lisa. Lisa is fine, but she is a little timid for me. I ask her for blond, she makes me look at samples and pictures, and she always plays it down. I have twice asked her to chop my hair above my ears with lots of chunky layers. I end up with a shoulder length bob. And she charges $90(and does not provide any vasoline with that). Reni knew I was a struggling student, and always had *special* prices for me.

I too hate the small talk. Lisa asks me all sorts of questions. Reni just silently cut, which was nice considering he is a bronzed god and lovely to look at. He was funny and to the point. He told me that a long term client came in for an appointment and informed him she would no longer be able to come in. Her husband was scared of the "AIDS" thing. He said, "Bitch, I am cutting your hair, not fucking you, now get out of my chair." Priceless.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


I've been pretty lucky finding stylists, but unlucky in keeping them for long periods of time. They all want to move somewhere, far away from me.

I followed one guy from salon to salon because he always gave me the best cuts. I wouldn't have to come back for three to four months, his cuts were that fantastic. Then he moved to a salon that was completely inconvenient for me distance-wise. My next stylist: same saga. The one after that? After going to him for a year, I called to make an appointment (I was desperate, four months since I had my hair cut and a big meeting in three days), only to be told he no longer worked at that salon. I was in panic mode. Luckily, a letter arrived that day from him, telling me of his new location. When I saw him again, he was talking about opening a salon out of state.

I just can't win.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


I guess this falls under "salon horror story" contribution.

She really had no chance from the start. Even though I tried to be reasonable, I tried to give her a chance -- after all, she had come recommended by a female co-worker with perfect hair.

[I should just mention here that I have never had perfect hair, not one single solitary day in my sturdy, tom-boy, rough-around-the-edges life. I should have known better than to go chasing rainbows.]

This was one of those "full-service salons". Not ever having been to one before, I wondered what "full-service" meant. Apparently it means that you are privledged enough to be sneered at by a rude receptionist who thinks maybe *you* don't really have an appointment at this salon today, then sit on an uncomfortable sofa while you wait for your "stylist" to grace you with her presence.

I shouldn't over-dramatize this. The salon is bright and sunny. The stylist is very coordial. Everything is going fine until she announces, "Girlfriend, I would love to highlight your hair."

[First of all, don't call me "girlfriend" when I've known you all of 10 minutes. Second, you are not my girlfriend if you are a 5'4", 90 lb, bleached-blonde, d-cup Barbie who refers to good looking men as "cutie-pies". Yeah, yeah, that's a jealous stereotype. I don't care. I call it the Dumpy Skipper Privledge.]

"Oh, really? Why?" I casually respond. The conversation degenerates into her discussion of my "mousy blonde" haircolor. Whatever, I let it slide. She finishes my haircut, hands me a card, and reminds me about the highlighting.

"You're sure it was her?" My co-worker asks when she sees my haircut. "Because, well, she usually does such a *good* job..." (I let that comment slide, too). I tell her I don't think I'll be going back to see this "stylist", I'm not wild about the haircut. "Oh, don't be silly. Give her another chance. Maybe explain a little better what it is that you want."

Always willing to pin the blame for anything gone wrong on me, I give her another chance. Try to explain a little better what I want. In her defense, she is still very coordial. And she remembers that she had cut my hair before. About five minutes into the cut, she starts up with the highlighting conversation again. OK, OK, maybe she's looking out for my best interest, trying to drum up more business, whatever. But this is clearly not the way to convince someone to pay you more money for services potentially rendered. Her comments include "My natural color is that exact same dirty blonde color," "lightening up your hair will make your face look thinner," and "a good highlight will take 10 years off your looks."

Perfect hair is not worth this shit.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


Worst haircut: I was but a wee child then, and my mother neglected to tell me that she wanted to cut off all my hair. Since then I have also joined the Long-Haired Rebellion Girls. I have a good stylist, but in general am quite afraid of someday experiencing what an ex-roommate of mine did- she went to a hairdresser here for a trim and lost half her hair (butt-lengthish). So many people take "trim" to mean "chop!" And about everyone but the guys I date keep (ok, basically most women) griping at me to get my hair cut "short", 'cause it'd look so "cute!" I don't WANT to look "cute," dammit. If I LIKED short hair I would have had it short by now, idgits. One chick I know can only talk to me in terms of hair- as in, EVERY time she sees me she goes on and on and on and on about how I should get it cut. (Incidentally, she dyes her hair and/or chops more of it off monthly.) I'm afraid that one of these days some asshole'll just come up and chop it off on their own.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

Oh, Jill... teasing us all with your fabulous Ernesto again. Why does he live in La Canada and not Canada? I've had Ernesto-envy for almost as long as I've been reading First Person Particular...

Hair in general, and hair salons in particular, are big ol' sore spots for me. I've had no less than four hair colourists and.. well, can't remember how many cutters in the past three years or so. If they're any good, they either leave the biz or the salon or the country.

I've ranted in my journal on more than one occasion about the irony of it all. One reader, in Kalamazoo, has kindly written with loads of tips on how to colour it myself. Soo far, that's working fine. I'm getting the colour I want at a fraction of the price and zero hipper-than-thou attitude. L'Oreal's feria is my friend.

As for the cut, last month I did that thing you're supposed to do in order to ferret out a good hairdresser- I went up to a total stranger and asked her where she got that faaabulous haircut! She couldn't remember the name of the stylist or even the salon, but gave vague geographical directions, and lo- it was good. A charming and friendly girl gave me a great cut for $35, and I look forward to going back for another try soon.

Of course, with my luck she'll have moved to Portugal or something...

(Erin! I was laughing out loud with your descriptions of the pouffy-big-hair and the probable hundred-holed ozone layer! )

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


I just trimmed my bangs myself because I'm "in between salons - i.e. I have no idea where to fucking go anymore! I live in San Diego, and I' begging, literally begging the San Diego faithful to e-mail me the name of their magician. I'm at my wit's end. Summer's coming and I'm on a diet so I'm a bitch - all I want is my winter pooch to disappear and a decent haircut.

How about this for a forum topic - what are some of the hair products you love? The ones you can't live without? I have baby-fine hair so I'm always interested in how to poof it up.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


I'm trying to grow my hair long ust because I hate going to get it cut so much. I rarely have trouble with the haircut itself, because I usually don't want anything too complex. What I can't figure out is, even after I've told the stylist that I don't usually do anything with my hair except wash it and slap some barrettes in it to keep it out of my eyes, they feel compelled to... well, to make it all poufy. They mousse, they blow dry, they curl, and they ALWAY feather it! I end up looking like some bizarre offspring of a poodle and a Q-tip, with bad '80s fashion sense! Last time I got my hair cut, I was very happy it was raining outside -- I let the rain wash all the hairspray and feathering out, and just went back to work with soaking wet hair.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

You know, I'm amazed that some of y'all have wound up paying as much as you have for a simple wash and cut.

I almost always go to a salon of some kind, but I've never been charged more than about $35 for shampoo and cut.

I assume that if you're getting color and perm or something like that, it would be more, but I don't understand how a _cut_ can be more than say, $40 or so.

Even Mercedes was only about $30 and that wasn't a special price -- that was the ordinary posted price of shampoo plus cut.

As for hair care products -- I shampoo and condition with Pantene. Normal formula Shampoo and Dry formula conditioner. I have never found another kind of hair product that I liked. Hairspray leaves that crusty stuff on your hair, mousse and gel harden or leave a weird residue.

Actually that's not true, when I was putting henna in my hair I loved the way it made my hair very soft and I'd put nutmeg and cinnamon into the brew to increase the red-tone highlights and make my hair smell like a spice-cabinet.

When I was little my Mom used Johnson's Detangler spray to get the knots out of my waist-length hair.

I keep starting to grow my hair back and then chopping it off again when it gets warm out, but when I was younger, I used to be a proud member of the long hair brigade. Princess Leia was my idol.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


OK, I have the world's thinnest, finest hair, and here's my tried 'n' true Steps to Gain Body:

1. Have a short haircut. If you have long hair, it will pull even more of the body out of your hair, and you don't want that. Short hair = hair with more body.

2. Use a lightweight shampoo and conditioner. I use Artec Kiwi and it seems to be working OK for me. You don't want anything that leaves your hair feeling heavy or greasy. You don't want leave-in conditioners. Experiment to find out what works best for you.

3. If you have the time and the inclination to style your hair, work some styling mousse in, or use a volumizing spray (Aveda makes a good one), and then blow-dry it out using a round brush. It'll make it look fuller. I personally think that styling my hair is a pain in the butt, so I rarely do this, but if you want to, that's how.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


Geez, you mean I'm the only person here who likes getting their hair cut? I like the mindless chitchat, I like being brought tea or coffee, and having someone else wash my hair, and the whole pampering thing. I usually get great haircuts because I always ask for the owner of the salon or the "Master Stylist" to work on me. It's well worth paying the extra money. You can be pretty sure they're good, fast, and at least marginally responsive to client wishes because they've been around a while. The only bad haircuts I've ever had have been from Supercuts, and from independent stylists working out of their own home.

I highly recommend using Masako of Masako's Hair Salon in Palo Alto if any of you live there. But you will have to tolerate having your hair cut by a petite whirlwind who chats nonstop. Even I, who like chitchat, am sometimes wearied by the bird-like action of Masako's mind: hop, hop, hip, hop, bip, bop. She is a terrific stylist, so it's well worth it. And she charges $40, which isn't much by salon standards.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


I am with Viv and Columbine here.

As a victim of (IMHO) prematurely gray hair, I go to the salon once a month. I have a standing appointment on the first Thursday of the month at 6:00 p.m. I get the roots touched up every month and a haircut ever other month. I pay a lot but I feel I get a good value for my money. My hairdresser keeps detailed records and notes of my color. She's also a good listener when it comes to me describing what I want color-wise--this is critical when the best you can do to describe what you want it auburn-ish but not too red, warm tones, not too blue or orange (like what the hell does that mean?).

I've been going to the same stylist for 10+ years now and in all that time I only got one bad cut--a cut I insisted I wanted and got. It was layered and high maintenance (after 20+ years of blunt cuts--only variation was bangs or not) right after I had a baby. Who the hell needs high-maintenance hair with a new baby in the house? I called two days later and she fixed it for free. She also told me then that if I ever insisted she put layers in my hair again she was going to give me the scissors.

Beth, if you found someone who did a job you're happy with then go back. Tip well. If it's stressful have a cocktail before you get there (since the place you went certainly isn't the chi-chi drinks while you're waiting type).

You're a braver woman that I am to have gotten a cut there in the first place but since you lived through it and you're happy you may as well embrace it.

b

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000


Hey Erin, you know what they say down there: The higher the hair, the closer to God.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

My steps to hair happiness:

1. Ability to dye my own hair. I don't fear having "the wrong color" or anything so it doesn't matter to me if it comes out a little weird. I do let a stylist do it if something drastic needs to be done. For example, I don't like to bleach my own hair anymore and I'll let them do the first dye after a bleaching.

2. I no longer have my sweet John, but I agree with others. Having a good gay male stylist is key. He must talk about the lagging art scene with you. He must only use a razor on your hair because it gives texture. He must tell you that you look "New York fierce."

He is not allowed to run off to New York City to cut real "fierce" hair.

Speaking of fierce, I have had a number of gay men call me that. I am apparently a force that must not be messed with.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000


I had hair disasters last year. I grew it quite long (by which I mean a couple of inches past my shoulders), in preparation for my March 1999 wedding and the wonderful 'do the hair stylist was going to come up with on the day. But the ends were a little uneven, so I went to the local Toni & Guy (substitute whatever your local 'trendy cutting edge' chain is) and the bastard stylist listened to my request, nodded thoughtfully, gave me an encouraging smile and proceeded to cut four inches off. As this was a mere two weeks before my wedding I wasn't too thrilled.

Still, I went down to NZ for the wedding, and chanced upon a sensational stylist who managed to put my hair up anyway, and very nifty it looked too. So all was well.

However, after getting back to London I decided I wanted to be a funky media chick with short hair. I don't know what made me think this - I'm not funky, I may work in media, but I wouldn't look out of place on the set of 'To The Manor Born' most days ... it's safe to say my style is classic.

But I did it anyway. And I liked it for exactly one day before realising I was a lunatic. It was really short - short like a boy's hair. My hair is quite wavy, and it goes crazy when it's short. Uncontrollable. I hadn't had short hair since the age of 10 for this very reason ... what happened to me? I can't explain it, but I do know that when I got a film developed a week after and clocked a photo of myself taken just before the wedding (and the 4 inch trim) I nearly cried. My longish hair had looked so nice!

Never mind. I haven't set foot in a hairdressers since. It grows quickly and now, a year later, it's long enough to wear in a ponytail. And I'm going to grow it down to my knees like Crystal Gail.

On a related note - when do you all notice your first grey hairs? I saw one last year - at the age of 24, which struck me as somewhat premature. My hair colour is natural, and is all kind of light browny/auburny/goldy (that sounds much nicer than it actually is), and I keep thinking I've seen grey hairs in there, although I convince myself it's just the light catching the more goldy ones. However, I'm contemplating the slippery slope of hair colouring now - maybe chunky goldy/light auburny highlights, so it's all a mixture of marmalade colours and any greys are less noticeable? Would that work?

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000


With regards to wierd red hair- its not wierd really- its actually rather pretty - copper colour. Wierd cause not to many people have this colour. I am forever asking friends and family "what about that girl- is that my colour?" cause I can't pick it out on anyone. I'm a freak..what can I say. Although mom was saying that there is a girl she works with who does the same thing. Just can't pick it out. Anyways, red -but not carroty red, and not auburn, and not strawberry- its true red.

And I forgot my most horrendous hair. My best friend was getting married. I was her bridesmaid. She had a friend, named Mike, who HATED me. DESPISED me. And he was doing the hair for all of us.

I had short hair, maybe 5 inches long. Something like Hillary Swank at the Oscars this year. He teased it, he backcombed it, he made me do the upside down thing. He hairsprayed it. He used 2 bottles of hairspray for 3 people. He then curled it. It was HUGE. HUGE HUGE. When we got to the wedding, my date and my mom both were crying cause they were laughing so hard at me. I looked like a Marge Simpson. The pictures are quite funny because almost everyone, my hair is cut off in the top. Cause its so big.

Never ever ever ever let someone do your hair when they hate you.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000


I consider myself lucky in this department. My mother is a hairdresser and NOONE else has EVER touched my head but her. She has cut it, permed it, colored it, highlighted it, straightened it, and much more I'm sure. Unfortunately, she retired from the hairdressing business and started her own Greenhouse business, which is something else she has been doing forever.

Now that my hairdresser is retired, she rarely has time to cut my hair. At the moment, I am about two months overdue and having to pull my bangs out of my face using those awful hair barretts. Plus I am due for another color job, as my gray hair is once again starting to "shine" through.

Sure, I could make an appointment with someone else to get it done. But then I would be CRAZY! I know from other's experiences what all the salons are like around here. I don't dare even think about letting any of them come within a mile of my head.

So I sit here and suffer until my regular hairdresser gets her nose out of the flowers long enough to fix me.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000


I haven't found a gray hair yet, Jackie. I was afraid I would when I stopped coloring my hair, but no gray so far. I've decided to enjoy my natural color for a few years, and then when I start to go gray, I'll go back to dying it red or something for a while.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

Anyone know a good stylist somewhere in LA? I'm moving out there at the end of the summer, and don't want to repeat the disaster of the last time I moved. I have had my hair cut precisely once in Rhode Island, and the cut was so bad that I refuse to get my hair cut here - I wait until I am going home to Toronto or go to visit my cousin's stylist in New Jersey. I have very thick wavy brown hair, shoulder length, and every stylist around here thinks that I need to have my hair made very very big and blow-dried (which I will not do left to my own devices). And I can't just go get a blunt cut at Supercuts, because then I get the dreaded triangle head. So now I only go to stylists where I know that someone with similar hair texture has gotten a good cut. Because if a friend has fine hair and has gotten a good cut, I will usually come out looking like a circus freak.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

Hey Lucy - you're not alone. I also love gettig my hair done. In fact i am due to go this weekend. I go into an almost coma state when she washes my hair - i wish i could get her to come live in our guest room so she could wash it every day. She's also great with the cuts. I'm not very good at describing what i want so i always bring a picture of something that i like and ask her if it will work with my face. What i love about her is that she's honest and does tell me if my hair texture would make it complicated or if it will take a lot of work to make it look nice.

This latest cut has been literally the best of my life. I usually blow dry it because i wash it about 25 minutes before i have to leave for work, but i discovered that i can go with air drying on the weekends and it still looks good. It's layered in a way that makes it look great with minimal effort and if i don't style it perfectly it looks even better than if i fuss with it too much.

I can even put just the sides up in a clip, which is a big deal to me because i always looked pretty funny when i used to try that with other styles. I have bangs that reach the eyebrows and that seems to be the perfect length for me.

I've had bad perms though. And a bad color job when i tried to get someone to bleach and re-dye my honey-blond hair after almost a year of dying it blue-black. And once i asked for "soft, loose ringlets" for a special occasion and came out with my hair so tightly curled that it looked 4 inches shorter than it was - i cried the whole way home.

My hairdresser is good with the chit chat too. She'll talk to me in a friendly way but never so much that i worry that she's distracted from her work. The only gripe i have is the way that she fluffs it up and sprays it so much. I'm not a "really big hair" person, just a bit of volume. I usually rush home and brush it out soon after the cut, but i don't mind too much considering the fact that the cuts are so good. And it's only $30. Yay!

I cant' wait to go back tomorrow.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000


Hairdreser in LA? I've got one for you! Her name is Penny Morse and she is New York Hair Conspiracy in the Hollywood Hills. It's in the book, but if you can't find the number, email me. I've been going to her since I was twelve years old and I have never gone to anyone else, not in LA, and not regularly anywhere else. She can do anything, has no attitude whatsoever, is friendly as hell, and still looks exactly the same as she did when she started cutting my hair 23 years ago. I can only assume that in a couple of years I will look like her mother.

Penny Morse. New York Hair Conspiracy. Hollywood. You won't be sorry.

Kymm

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000


Well for a couple of years when I was in college, I went to this hairdresser who actually did my boyfriend's aunt's hair. And usually he did what I wanted in the *cut* but not in the styling. Well. I finally decided to go a little more radical, and get some sort of shag type cut - popular in the mid-90's. So we're looking at magazine photo's and hairdressing book photos. I pull up a picture of some model at the time who had the 'do I wanted (Helena Christiansen I think) and said *like this*. He pulled out some hairdressing book with a photo of a 40 year old woman 80's hairdo - you know those short hair cuts that were ta teeny bit spikey with long wisps in the back? I was *adament* that NO that's NOT what I wanted. I pointed to the mag/model photo again and said *this one*.

Gee. Guess which haircut he gave me?

I called my boyfriend from a phone booth crying.

Anyway - I went back a few *days* later and got it chopped into an extreme pixie-cut. Very young Mia Farrow. It looked great with my face, but a big *pain* to grow out and my little shoulders looked even smaller.

That was the *last* time I ever went to him again.

I've since found a wonderful hairdresser here in Seattle through a friend - she always does *exactly* what I want, and we seem to use the same words to describe certain things. It's GREAT! The only problem is last time she coloured my hair, I think she got the formula slightly off, because it's so dark it's almost black. And I'm super-pale and without make-up I look a little to fish-belly white. Ick.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000


I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to it because it's grown out in this funky way and has all these split ends.

When I realized I sort of needed to get it cut soon, it was at a time when every Saturday was already booked, so I'm way overdue.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000


Beth,

I know a great girl to go to in Vacaville, if you want to make the drive. She's not too chit-chatty, but will converse with you without being mind-numbing. She goes to hair shows and training all the time too, so you don't have to worry about getting someone that only knows how to cut the popular Farrah Fawcett or the latest 80's big hairdo (she's not stuck in a timewarp so that no matter what you ask for, you only get what she knew how to cut from the past). And she won't do anything wild on you unless you specifically ask for it. She will do whatever you want unless you want to do something she knows that your hair can't do, then she'll explain to you why you shouldn't do that and what you could do. She has lots of pictures in albums too, so if you kind of know what you want but aren't sure how to explain it you can usually find pictures that will do it for you. Everyone I've sent to her has been happy with the results. And I've sent some people with really bad haircuts to her.

Oh, she won't serve you cocktails, but if you bring some in she'll let you drink them there. And no one will try to hold your hand.

Just in case you're interested, her name is Erica Clement and she works at Main Street Salon, Vacaville. She's worth the drive.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000


So, how much is appropriate to tip a hairdresser? I've never been sure about this, and I always feel like I'm undertipping or overtipping.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

3-5 dollars to the shampoo gal, 10-15% to the stylist, nothing at all if it's the owner of the salon.

-- Anonymous, April 29, 2000

I'm like Lucy...I love going to the salon, and like the chit-chat, watching the other stylists work, etc. I don't even mind sitting around for 45 minutes with a head full of foils.

I've had my share of hair disasters. Once, about 15 years ago, I got a very short and horrible haircut that was so bad I actually wore scarves for weeks. I'd cry every time I'd see my hair. Luckily, it grows fast.

I've had the same stylist for years. Winona at di Pietro Todd in San Francisco. She great, but not cheap [$70 for cuts; $60 and up for color]. I'll pay almost any price for a good haircut.

-- Anonymous, April 29, 2000


getting my hair cut used to be a truly traumatizing experience for me. i have extremely curly hair (which i happen to love). but for every 1/4 inch that's cut, it springs up at least three- thus my style options are limited.

i've finally found a stylist i really like and trust though. i've had a few over the years, but one opened his own cosmetics place and the other lost her touch.

the woman i'm with now, angela, is a godsent. she has curly hair that reacts like mine does. only she hates curls and blows hers out every day. she tries to convince me to do the same. my only gripe with her is that she can't comprehend hair without styling proudcts (and the ones that she swears by totally way my hair down and make it feel gross. so i usually have to shower as soon as i'm done. especially since she does dry cuts to accurately cut my hair. if she doesn't wash it when she's done, i have all of these awful little hairs all over my neck and in my scalp.

as for salons- i ADORE them. but only those trendy really fun ones. i don't know- i like the trend and the pampering. the salon that angela just left was totally modern and art-deco. they had the most delicious coffee and really good bagels- not to mention extremely comfortable lounging chairs in the foyer, great magazines, and a lively atmosphere. now she's at this great shop called peter's place in birmingham, michigan. it's an old house that has been renovated into a really large, two story salon. it's open, airy, not trendy at all, but extremely warm and pleasant. too bad it still costs me $40 + tip for a cut or trim. but she's worth it!

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2000


To all Women who unfortunatly have had bad expirences i apologize on behalf of all hairstylists acroos the globe.It is unfortunate that there are so many stylist that lack styling skills.All i can say is "this might sound like a cheap advertisment, but i can assure you it truly hurts when a women speeks of horror stories" If ever in the Montreal Area do yourself a favor and call (514)620-4041 and ask for a consultation with their artistic directer, you will not be dissapointed...

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2001

When I met my boyfriend/husband to be, he had the coolest Billy Idol hair (hey, I as a little punk, I loved it) and so when he went out of town I made an appointment with his hairdresser. David John. Gawd, it was great, he was great, everything a hairdresser should be. He was super cool, and totally into trying new things, and he made a 16 year old high school chick have the coolest hair. I took to carrying a couple of his business cards with me at work cause people would always ask who did my hair - totally great for my crappy self exteem.

Course, my parents hated it but what did they know ? ;)

Even when I moved to DC I still would drive the 150+ miles about twice a year to visit people... and get my hair done. He's the only person I have ever met who 1) believed me when I said "I want something different and 2) Had the imagination and talent to do something different and make it look great.

I let him have free reign - whatever he wanted to do with my hair. Only one time did he go too far, he had just come back from a convention in New York and had this new look inmind for me. I went to school the next day with half my head shaved. Had I lived in NYC I'm sure it would have been all the rage, but being 16 in Norfolk Virginia and in JANUARY it wasn't a great idea. I lucked out though because the day I walked into school with my shorn head just happened to be the same day that the entire wrestling team had shaved their heads for a big tournament - suddenly by cutting-edge styled hair made me have school spirit. OR something. Whatever ;)

He did my hair for prom, for my wedding - every 6 weeks I went to him and I loved it, he was so much fun. Treated me like an adult, would tease me mercilessly about using Aqua Net ("you can shellac a boat with that stuff!") and gossip about stuff that I had no business knowing. I loved going and getting my hair done by him.

Then he sold his salon and I never heard from him again. It was rumored he had AIDS. I never found out what happened.

After many years I found a guy here in DC who did great hair - he didn't have a whole lot of imagination but if I took him a photo he could get me to look exactly like it. He was also totally cool about doing weird stuff (and that is SO hard to find). He didn't bat an eyelash to coloring my hair blue or purple - he loved doing it in fact. Course, it didnt hurt that his kids were in the goth scene and he was used to being around freaks :) But he could do me all wild, but he could also cut my kids hair and make her look cute - he was good and I liked him. Plus he had this wodnerful English accent. :)

Then he retired and opened a bike shop - a lifelong dream of his. Just when I had convinced my husband that he needed to go see him too. Drat!

I just spent a day at a salon after not having my hair cut for almost a year. I had been looking forward to getting it all cut off and going blond. Shoulder-length dark purple/red to buzz-cut platinum. No, really. :) I got recommendations from friends and picked somebody. I tried to explain over the phone that this wasn't just a normal "cut and color" - to please schedule more time for me, it was going to take all day. Of course, they didn't listen.

I'm love the color we got - though it took 3 bleaches and 5 hours to do it (hey, I've done this before, I TOLD them to schedule more time!) but it took me some serious convincing to get the guy to believe that I was serious - I had to pull out various forms of photo ID from my wallet to show that in each one I had different color and different length hair. No ,really, CUT IT ALL OFF. AND MAKE ME BLOND!

I just got it cut again a few weeks later from the woman who does my husband's hair - my fallback stylist - because even after much prodding I couldn't get the guy to go shorter. He cut it short but you could tell it was killing him to do it.

My pet peeves - he took 45 smoke breaks, left me sitting for ages and ages without telling me what was going on, and my total bill about gave me a coronary. Good things: they kept my wine glass filled and the color we ended up with is wonderful.

I won't go back though because he was way too expensive - the wine should have tipped me off that I was in a place I had no business being.

Worst hair experience: was growing my hair long and had it about shoulder length and went in for a "body wave" - my hair is thick and heavy and as it gets longer it goes straight and boring. I thought some sort of very light perm thing could give it some body. HA HA HA HA HA. Oh. The woman was cool about it, put in the rollers and applied chemicals.... and then went off for lunch and forgot about me.

I looked like Chelsea Clinton when she finally took the rollers out. I wore a hat to work the next day.

I went back to the salon two days later when it had all frizzed out and gotten even BIGGER and the owner of the salon saw me sitting all sad and forlorn in the chairs up front and he demanded of me "Who did this to your hair?" and I said "YOU PEOPLE DID!" very loudly. He then spent a few hours trying to fix it for me - for free. Like he should have. I ended up with much shorter hair than I wanted but it looked a lot better than the frizzy mop I had. And so if I learned anything - NO PERMS!

- t

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2001


ZDRAVO! SE VIKAM VELE STEFANOVSKI ZIVEAM VO BITOLA MACEDONIA I SUM BERBER I SOPSTVENIK NA "BERBERSKI SALON BOBO". SO OVAA RABOTA SE ZANIMAVAM VEKE 5 GODINI I SAKAM DA SE DOPISUVAM I SORABOTUVAM SO VAS. OD MENE TOLKU I VE CEKAM DA MI ODGOVORITE :))) CAO :)))

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001

YES!!! That is the post I've been waiting my whole life for! I'm not even going to snipe. Confused poster, I salute you.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001

Oh, and I would totally have my hair cut at BERBERSKI SALON BOBO.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001

What language is that? The closest I could get with Babelfish was Russian, which gave me this:

REASONABLY! SE TO VETCHES VELE OF STEFAN ZIVEAM VO BITOLA MACHEDONIA And SUM BARBER SOPSTVENIK NA "BERBERSKI THE SALON OF BEANS". WITH OVAA THE WORK SE ZANIMAVAM THE CENTURY of 5 GODINI And TO BAGS YES SE DOPISUVAM TO SORABOTUVAM FROM YOU OD TO EXCHANGE TO SENSE And VE TO CHECKS YES MI ODGOVORITE:))) CHAO:)))

Polish, perhaps?

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001


Okay, I'm dumb, how did I miss the part about Macedonia? But that still means this could be Macedonian, Albanian, Turkish, or Serbo- Croatian, none of which I speak. Anyone?

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001

I am now obsessed, and I found a one-word-at-a-time translator. It is, I think, Macedonian, but most of the words were not included in the dictionary I found (which also included Albanian and Serbian).

Hello!

That's as far as I got.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001


You guys, seriously. I'm dying here. "The Salon of Beans." Damn. That's gold. And I'm going to start walking up to people and saying, "Reasonably!"

Goddamn, I love Babelfish.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001


You can try here as well. It has Croatian, Polish, Hungarian, etc.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001

I love you, Keli. Seriously. You're not like the others.

Here's Croatian:

Hello! DOES WHOOP VELE STEFANOVSKI ZIVEAM VO BITOLA MACEDONIA PLUS SUM BERBER PLUS SOPSTVENIK AT AN "BERBERSKI SALOON BOBO". SO OVAA LABOR DOES ZANIMAVAM VEKE 5 GODINI PLUS SAKAM YES WE DO DOES DOPISUVAM PLUS SORABOTUVAM SO You. WITH MYSELF TOLKU PLUS VE CEKAM YES WE DO WE REPLIES :))) CAO :)))
That was definitely the closest. They don't have Macedonian. Slovenian kind of works, too:
Hi! YOURSELF VIKAM VERY STEFANOVSKI ZIVEAM VO BITOLA MACEDONIA I SUSPICION BERBER I SOPSTVENIK UPON "BERBERSKI SALON BOBO". THERE ARE OVAA RABOTA YOURSELF ZANIMAVAM EAVES 5wear away vt}} GODINI I SAKAM YES INDEED YOURSELF DOPISUVAM I SORABOTUVAM THERE ARE You. WITH THIS CHILD TOLKU I ADDRESS CEKAM YES INDEED WE WORD :))) wear away vt}} CAO :)))wear away vt}}
I really love online translators. Really. Czech translates that first word as "Soundly!" which is almost as funny as "Reasonably!"

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001

I love you, Keli. Seriously. You're not like the others.

That's right, honey-child.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001


Once, I let a girl give me bangs. She was a friend of my fiance, and kind of a friend of mine, and she said I'd look great with bangs. I have a short forehead and heavy eyebrows, but hope springs eternal, so I said okay.

This was an error. There are no words. I had bobby pins in my hair for nearly three months waiting for the bangs to grow out.

Later I found out she was sleeping with my fiance, and I'm convinced it was related.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001


I have gotten around the whole hair horror thing, finally. I made friends with two hairdressers in a chi-chi salon, one of which is a trainee. I see them both all the time socially it is well understood that I'll kick their asses if they f*ck up my hair (only I said it much nicer than that).

Normally they charge up to $100 for a haircut and an astronomical amount for any colouring (you could feed eight Biafrans for a week on what it costs). I don't feel guilty for spending Biafran lunch money on my head because I get it for free. Well, I pay for it by taking the boys out for beer and dinner afterwards. It's still cheaper than paying anyone else.

Neither hairdresser is gay, BTW. But they have exceptional taste and I have never gotten more compliments.

The only downer is that, since it is free, I have to scrounge for an appointment. And the salon is waaaaay out in the middle of nowhere.

I can live with these minor little drawbacks!

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2001


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