Summary of Elian's 2PM press briefing:

"I have instructed my lawyers to file papers demanding that I receive immediate custody of my six-month old step brother, Hianny.

"Based on reports from my lawyers' investigators, I have concluded that my Papa, Jose or Juan... whatever, is not a fit parent.

"Hianny would be deprived of all that we cherish: Toys-R-Us' top-of-the-line slides, Black Lab puppies, Bunny rabbits and 153 changes of clothing.

"The bunnies were delicious, by the way."

-- (retard@but.happy), April 20, 2000

Answers

Retard, retard, too funny my man,

Another hare on the barbie demands Elian,

Im such a cute tog,

Think Ill cook up this dog,

And milk this for all that I can.

-- Ra (tion@l.1), April 20, 2000.

LOL retard; very true too. Why don't the Cuban-Americans start raising hell to let the baby stay in the U. S. After all he will be persecuted too and live under a horrible, Communist regime. And oh, my gawd, he may never see Disney Land, or turn into a blimp on Big Macs and junk food.

So what if he has a mother? A moot point! For the good of the baby she should just turn him over to Lazaro. After all, "It's for the children!!"

-- gilda (jess@listbot.com), April 20, 2000.

Seeings how ol Klinton's still in office, I wonder if poor Elian will have some sort of tragic (but problem solving) accident.

Frank

-- Someone (ChimingIn@twocents.cam), April 21, 2000.

Someone: Yes, an accident waiting to happen.

Do you think Great Uncle Lazaro has a gun in his house? (rhetorical)

Do you think the gun has a trigger guard? (rhetorical)

Short quiz: When does Lazoro (an alcoholic with at least two DUI convictions) start his "Happy Hour" ?

a) 8AM

b) 8:10AM

c) 8:20AM

-- (retard@but.happy), April 21, 2000.

Retard,

Depends on whether or not he has to get up at 4 a.m. for a smoke and a pee. In that case 4 a.m., otherwise 8 a.m.

Frank

-- Someone (ChimingIn@twocents.cam), April 21, 2000.

Frank,

LMAO....

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), April 21, 2000.