Do you find that you're life is full of drama, or do you create your own?

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

Answers

i somehow always manage to have something devestatingly weird going on. if it's not, then in the next few minutes, i'll get a huge pain in the side, or bleeding gums, or a relative will die.

maybe i'm cursed. but i'm a REALLY GOOD PERSON- why, god, do bad things happen to good people? (and, i'm directing this to the nice god, not the wrathful one in the other chapters of the bible.)

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

i've discovered that my life is apparently a huge mixture of must-see- tv sitcom schtick and seriously sappy soap opera drama. each story i tell my new coworkers about my life has them rolling in the aisles or gasping with the "omigosh, are you going to be okay" face. i didn't know i was that interesting to begin with. hmmm...

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

"Life doesn't imitate art -- just bad television."

Woody Allen (from Husbands and Wives)

I don't think my life would be picked up for syndication, even for one of those Sunday afternoon WB slots. It doesn't have enough sex and smart-alecky kids in it. Maybe A&E could show it in the middle of the night if they ran out of low-grade BBC fare.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

Totally... when I was a teenager I was all about creating drama (subconciously) so my life would be far more interesting than it was... comes from A) wanting to be a writer and B) growing up in a town so small it had one caution light...

Fortunately I seem to have gotten over it... though my life still borders on mundane, so now instead of creating real drama I just write it out.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

Oh hell yes. I'm such a drama queen.

I've been accused of this. Especially where my romantic life is concerned. Every crush I get becomes this huge melodramatic, epic sort of thing. I don't do anything halfway, I think. Most things relating to my emotions are larger-than-life. If they don't start that way, you can be damn sure they end up that way.

I don't know. Drama's more fun than dull ordinary stuff. :)

Lisa Till Human Voices Wake Us...

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

i seem to create drama unconsciously. i swear, my life has been a novel, one of those things where you sigh and say, "how could that happen to anybody?" in one chapter, and in the next sigh and say, "why doesn't that ever happen to me?" for example, my latest drama: i went to study in italy for a semester of school this winter (i'm in college). so here i am in this amazing country, seeing amazing things, carving MARBLE (how many people have been able to do THAT in italy...) and i fall in love. not with anyone else from my trip, but with an italian guy. and he is perfect. wonderful. ooooh. and then, when we parted, it was in a train station (my flight left from germany, so i had to train it from milan to frankfurt. that sucked. moving on...) and we were both crying (well, ok, i was sobbing) and we hugged and kissed and it was all long and drawn out and then the whistle blew and he stepped down from the train, i stepped back into the train and (bear in mind that "casablanca" is his favorite movie) he said "here's lookin' at you, kid." then the doors shut and i saw (rather than heard) him say: "i love you." i had just enough time to say "ti amo" and the train started moving. oh, god, how's THAT for dramatic? and we're still together. i am going back to italy to study for a year next year...

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

i am a total drama queen. someday they are going to make a fabulous movie of my life and my men.
*caitlyn

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

I don't know about drama, exactly, but my life is a neverending string of weird coincidences. And I have this killer intuition that is never, never wrong. I'll go running around asking everyone if they remembered when I said I thought this would happen.
I'm a big nuisance, I swear.
Animate.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

mark my words, there will be a movie made about me. i've kept a diary since 2nd grade, and i'm even nice enough for the directors to put it in script format most of the time. i do things that are totally against any sense of logic and self-respect just to get attention. i will purposely bring up topics of conversation just so that i can be convicted of doing something awful and shocking and then everyone will talk about it and think, "wow". i used to be so self-conscience because i thought everyone was looking at me, talking about me, whispering, gossiping, just because i was such a big part of everyone's lives. now i know that not a lot of people know who i am, but i still play it cool ALL the time, because i know that at any given moment when i'm in public, someone's probably looking at me. i try to be that curvy, rebellious, attractive looking route 66 girl that you see step out of a smoothe looking sports car, with the wild hair and the border line slutty clothes, with a bag tossed over her shoulder and walking as if she has no real destination, just the nearest place that she can sit and have a drink and find some boy toy to ride on a motorcycle with and then leave the next morning without even saying goodbye, but instead leaving him to find his jeans pocket wallet-less....

.. and i'm just a techie.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

I fear that my life will be a Lifetime movie.

So far in my young life (27 okay that's old), I've managed to date 1. a guy who ended up getting a girl pregnant at 16 who joined the army as soon as he graduated from high school. 2. another guy who ended up flunking out of college and took several years off waiting tables before going back to school. 3. another guy who ended up sleeping with my best friend before having the distinguished job as college drug dealer only to quit when he got a job with a corporation who doesn't do drug testing. From what I hear, he still smokes pot like Bob Marley 4. another guy who ended up flunking out of medical school. Later, he got a DWI. His prominent in the community mother had to pull strings to get him a job at a lab on a university campus where he ultimately turned that into a graduate assistantship. Yes he's in therapy on Prozac and Jack Daniels. 5. My roommate on my trip to Kenya later became arrested for stealing $25,000 from the NAACP and is serving a lotta years in prison. 6. I've been diagnosed with depression (probably from hanging out with all these losers). 7. But I'm in a top twenty law school and am doing well, thank you very much. 8. I moved to DC without telling my parents. One day I was in Arkansas. The next thing I call them a couple of weeks later to tell them that I moved to DC. They loved that!! 9. I worked as a private investigator in DC. You know going to real bad neighborhoods to find "Nicole's real killer," serving subpoenas, and other such things. 10. I managed to drive here right after the blizzard. Actually pretty much during the blizzard because the only other automobiles on the road were 18 wheeler trucks. FUN FUN FUN. 11. Once one of the loser boyfriends above, told me to get him some ice and I ended up filling the trashcan with ice (it was time to take the bag out) and dumping it on his head. 12. I look at www.crazy-bitch.com and think "there but the grace of god and a can of paint go I"

I don't know if this means I create drama by the choices I make or I have funny luck and drama is attracted to me. You be the judge.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

My life used to be a real drama, years ago. Then I discovered that it's much more fun on the other side. Now people just tell me about all the dramatic events in their lives, and I offer them semi-sagely advice. I guess that makes me a critic.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I'm such the drama mama. I'm constantly being told that I 'think too much' since most ordinary, mundane situations become larger than life by the time I've run all possible scenarios through my head and convince myself that the worst possible one is THE one that is going to happen, I'm just sure of it, and when it doesn't, there is no one more surprised than I. I'm fully capable of turning a single email sentence into a raging explosion, simply due to a misunderstanding of words, and I've had to apologize more than I care to remember because of my jumping to conclusions. It has taken me many years to understand that people generally say what they mean and there are no hidden meanings to their words.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I wouldn't say I create drama but drama just seems to happen. Like taking a leisurely trip to Washington DC this weekend to voice my opposition to global corporatism will probably lead to tear gassing, beatings, and spending some time in jail. That might be a little dramatic. Hanging out with my friends and bowling is a nice relaxing change after events like that.

I don't do things just to stir up conflict for drama because that usually involves making someone feel like shit for no reason just so you can feel cool. That's not nice. I've known people who do that and I never liked it, because I always emphasized with the person who was getting fucked with for no reason. I do however, like to go out and do stuff just for the hell of it, which some people might think is dramatic or crazy. Like folks think it's wierd that I'll be bored and just drive to NYC in the middle of the night to get breakfast (I live about 3 hours away in Rhode Island).

It's come to the point where the folks I work with always expect me to have some story about what I did over the weekend, where I went, what demonstration I was or was not a part of, etc.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I don't create drama but I do avoid conflict, and some ways I do that make things bottle up, which creates drama when they can't be bottled up anymore.

(I'm working on this, by the way.)

My roommate is the world's biggest drama queen. She procrastinates and hangs out with unsavory people, falls in love two days after being broken up with with prior boyfreind (each and every time), goes to unsafe places alone and hooks up with losers, takes drugs with strangers, obsesses over the boys she falls for and leads them on a wild ride and then refuses to sleep with them because she's devoutly religious and is saving herself for marriage (I respect her choice, but wish to note that she will turn 30 in a matter of days). So she has wild, torrid, everything-but-THAT relationships for two-four weeks at a stretch, then is dumped, then is miserable and mopey and impossible. The boys call at all hours of the night. They treat her badly. But she's cute and a flirt and very assertive, so there will always be boys lurking around for her to cry over or obsess over. (Some have even turned out to be rather nice, but they all end up leaving in the end.) Her problems are about 90% her own making and 10% 'shit happens' and bad luck.

I hang out with theatre people, artists, poets, writers, and musicians. I am an artist (currently in remission), poet, and writer. No matter how hard I try, I hook up with musicians.

I try to be responsible. My problems are about 25% my own making and 75% 'shit happens' or bad luck. My biggest irresponsibility is money. I can't add worth beans. I forget what I've spent. I buy on impulse. It's the only are of my life that isn't coordinated properly. I try to do better, but I will always have lousy math skills. (I stay out of malls and set aside only two days a month where I can do 90% of my shopping for groceries and my non-essentials and that helps a lot.)

My friends are mostly irresponsible and impulsive and emotional types. If they aren't like my roommate--who creates drama for herself- -then they are in situations they refuse to get out of, like living with a drama queen roommate (ahem), dating a substance abuser, bad job, etc. But they're also good people and I understand and respect their choices for the most part.

Example of my life's drama content? Over a two month span (December 1999-January 2000), my car was broken into, which damaged my car to the tune of $700 and left me minus $1000 worth of stuff, only $200 of which (and this includes the repairs) paid by my insurance company. Suck. I confronted a burglar in the kitchen, only to find that my roommate had not paid the phone bills she swore she'd take careof, so no phone service. Then a week later someone broke into our sub- basement outside, and she still didn't take care of the phone [properly, so they were out again. Then we had prowlers. (This was after living there for months with no incidents.) Burglars cased house because ex-male-roommate moved out to live with woman he bad- mouthed constantly. She is old enough to be his mom, she is in the middle of a divorce, has children older than he is and grandchildren. She also is getting a lot of money from her soon-to-be-ex-husband, and she buys him things. So he left us high and dry for the rent until we found a new roommate, which we had to do during the holiday season (does ANYONE move around Christmas time?!). Our landlord discovered he is terminally ill. I was called out of the blue to sell my car to a dealer and they yanked me around for a week until it was clear I wouldn't sell my vehicle for far less than it was worth nor would I buy a $30K car. Everyone's time was totally wasted. The cable guy accidentaly installed more cable than we paid for, but that's a good thing...even though we have a hole drilled through the back of a closet into the living room now. Roommate wrote rent check for $400 less than we owed, thus leading to unexpected $130 late fee. Friend died in car accident. My home computer gives up the ghost. My co- worker is evil and dumping on me. Boyfriend at the time is Jewish, and during holiday season, reminds me daily about this though it isn't an issue with me. Insists on meeting my parents. Does. Parental stress makes me want to scream. Holiday stress sucks. It's BF's birthday and his gift doesn't arrive in time and he feels hurt. We attend lots and lots of parties, leavign zero personal time. (That's the only good stress besides the travelling and NYE.) We do major travelling (which is stressful). He's asking if I want to get married, have kids, convert. (I'm willing to discuss all of these things.) We celebrate Y2K--friend is hosting party and co-planner ditched, leaving her with enormous debt. I am asked to model for a fashion show and am extremely uncomfortable on stage but do it anyway and am teased for being so clearly miserable. Boyfriend is pursued by aggressive ex, whom he spurns, then he tells me he was tempted and feels bad. A week later, he breaks up with me, saying he's in therapy and it was all "his issues" (we are still friends, he's not dating anyone else and he does have issues, but it broke my heart anyway). Roommate's grandmother died. Roommate made noises about buying the house we've been renting despite the fact that I'd stated my interest and have been doing homework to get the ball rolling for months now. Two close friends had a major falling out and are never speaking to each other again. Ex-good friend had major car accident and nearly died. Roommate went back to grad school. Neighborhood drunk has been coming over to rap on windows and beg for rides to the store. Post office refuses to deliver package with out-of-stock item and when it gets returned, I will not be able to get another one. I go on medication that makes my face break out, then when I go off it to stop the breakouts, it gets worse. I get food poisoning. Trauma at work leads me to change positions and make a major upheaval to do so, transferring to an entirely different floor and an entirely different department. During transition, do both department's work overflow. Friend in Indiana has to deal with a house fire. Another best friend breaks up with her boyfriend and he gives her mixed messages. My least-nice ex whines that I won't give him closure (we broke up five years ago) before he moves to Germany. I discover that to replace the CDs stolen out of my car, I'll have to deal with foreign dealers and pay $500, because I have weird and obscure taste. Our cat starts bleeding for no apparent reason and is rushed to the vet where he is pronounced perfectly healthy but overweight, so he's on a diet and yowling all day long. My idea for a web portal was overheard by an acquaintance, who rushed right out and bought the domainname we were discussing. My portfolio was in my car when it was broken into, so original artwork and writing were stolen, lost forever, and things I thought I could re-print or re-download or re-construct I can't; like the major non-intranet web site I designed, has been down for months due to the owner not paying their domain name fees, meaning I have no work to show anyone. I gained ten pounds.

Okay. How much of this is due to my irresponsibility? I do know that I shouldn't have left my stuff in my car in front of my own house, but I rarely did this and it was only there because I had an armload full of bundles and didn't get back outside before the theives had broken in.

Sometimes life is just full of drama & stress despite your best efforts.

M

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

The best way for me to answer this is to tell you that on a daily basis I lean my head back, place the back of my hand on my forehead and sigh really loudly. I am Queen of the Drama Queens. Every single encounter with a male that I have any interest in turns into a daily soap, based on my very one-sided perception and interpretation of any detail no matter how minor. Sometimes there will be an actual event such as a dozen roses on my birthday or a particularly harsh rejection, but mostly it's just me overreacting to what he did, what he said, or how he looked at me funny, or how he didn't look at me at all (how DARE he!). My friends ask me how my love life is when they're looking for excitement. And I spill it with gusto. I can't help it. I'm a drama whore and I love it. But at least I'm honest, right?

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000

Well, people had told me that strange things are always happening to me, but I never thought I was a drama magnet until I started journalling. Once I started going to back to read it I realized that the things that happens to me just on a daily basis are not what happens to most people.

I also noticed that I keep running into people from years ago that I took one class with and they'll remember me. Does this happen? Every time I go out to lunch I see someone from the past. My coworkers have even commented on it. I'll see the person coming towards me and they'll update me on their life and I'm like 'uhhh, how nice to see you again (where do I know you from... think Vicky, think...). Very strange.

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000

I have scheduled a serious bout of depression for 8pm this evening.

You see, there's this ACTRESS.

Last year, when I started my novel, I picked a cast for the main characters so I could picture them in my head, so I could HEAR the dialog in my head.

I picked this ACTRESS for my female lead and at 8pm tonight, she's on TV.

At first, our (imaginary) relationship was strictly professional. I didn't know who she "really was" and I didn't care. She looked like my character. She sounded like my character. And she seemed smart enough to understand my character.

But then I broke my rule. I looked her up. I started with a little E! profile and worked my way up to lame-ass fan pages. I developed a childish little crush on said actress.

I'm cynical enough to realize everything I've read is bullshit, that the image I'm infatuated with was created by some PR hack at Paramount, but said ACTRESS has come to symbolize everything I want to be.

And lately, she has become a tiny mental hammer I beat myself with.

I see her on TV and I feel like an absolute fraud. All my big dreams look foolish. "Who the hell do you think you are?" "You'll never finish this novel. Nobody's gonna buy it. Nobody's gonna read it. And they sure as hell won't make a MOVIE of it!" "Forget all this shit! Change to a real major and GET A JOB!"

So tonight she comes on TV at 8pm. I tell myself I shouldn't watch. But I'm like an alcoholic bargaining with himself. "I'll just watch the first 15 minutes."

So do I create drama in my life?

No comment.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2000

I am an actor. My life imitates my art so that my art can imitate my life again. I am so glad/pissed that Pamie told everyone the truth about what goes on in my fucked up head. I create my own drama so I won't sufficate in my boring world. And I love every minute. So sad.

-- Anonymous, April 18, 2000

What is life without drama? After all i AM a Pisces... I live for it.

-- Anonymous, April 22, 2000

I think I create drama in my head. I'll have crazy dialogue and sad depressed people. I should make a script out of my daydreamed life.

really, I just sit in front of my computer, watch tv and listen to music ..nothing real dramatic about that. that's why I must create it to feel like I'm living and have emotion. sometimes I'll cry for no reason just for effect. even if I'm alone. then it feels like I did something.

the only time I really get dramatic in reality is when someone rejects me [I go into the sympathy, pity me, nobody loves me monologue]. that's always fun. also I create my own moping time during the day...HAHA.

I think once my mom said I should be an actress but I'm too shy for that. I like my daydreams.

JPL [new layout coming in may]

-a

-- Anonymous, April 22, 2000