would you write/answer a personals ad?

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Would you or have you answered a personals ad? Did you ever write one? Was it a good experience?

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000

Answers

Well...I wrote to Chris, Cute Single Boy of Last Week - that was sort of like answering a personal ad. A really long, well-written personal ad that had the endorsement of Pamie behind it. So uh...I guess it was not like that at all, actually. Hm.

My favorite personal ads are the really fed up ones like: "SWF in search of SWM, 35-40. You - no smoking, no drugs, no kids, no games. I am sick of meeting the wrong men who just want to have sex. You should be professional, tall, slim and have no baggage. Call me."

Now that is one SWF who has had it up to here, yo. (And that's a real ad, by the way. I just opened up the Dallas Observer and found her. Poor lady.)

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000


I've placed several online personal ads over the last couple of years. Unfortunately, none of them led to an actual date. The replies I received tended to be spectacularly uninformative ("I saw your ad. Write back if you're interested.") or they informed me instantly that the respondent was not exactly the intelligent, mature conversationalist for whom I was looking ("hi!!! i, like, saw your personal ad, and i was just like woa this si a reely neet ad so i decided to write to you! :0) i like hanging out with my friends and stuff and listening to britney spears and nsyc!"). Let's just say that I'm not so much sorry to be off the dating market.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000

I saw, or rather my roommate saw and brought to my attention a personal ad that said they were looking for a Communist. Well, I'm an anarchist, but for the most part it's close enough, so since my laptop was broken and it was too early on a Saturday for any of my friends to be up and about, I decided to give it a shot.

Since I was on anyway I decided to listen to some of the other ads and replied to I think four or five of them. It was really akward. It's funny that out of all the ads, I could only find four or five that interested me, four or five women who seemed intelligent and were not afraid to show it. The Communist girl turned out not to be really radical but nice enough. She lived in Boston, I live in Providence and we emailed a few times but never got together for logistical reasons. One of the other women replied and we got together but it was kind of cold. I am wierd enough with dating as it is, the whole "personals" aspect made it even wierder. It felt more like a job interview.

A long time ago I started to do an article on gender for Retrogression and I went through personals to see if I could find general patterns for men's and women's personals. I was really saddened by the fact that most of them focused *only* on height, weight, hair color, and measurements, as if that is what defines us as people. It's more like going out to get a can of soup off the shelf from a grocery store than like picking someone to date. I was especially disturbed by the ones that said they were looking for a white partner. I was also surprised by how much value women attach to the height of a guy (luckily for me, I am 6'4"). It was also amusing to see the code words people used. Like athletic to mean "no fat chicks." Like "financially stable" to mean "sugar daddy."

I decided if I were ever to put in a personal ad to our local alternative weekly it would simple read "John Reed seeks Emma Goldman. Lets shake the world."

I figure if any woman actually got it and wanted to reply, that was a * damned* good start.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000


The ones that kill me are the ships-in-the-night ones: You, blonde, red sports car pulling out of the Liquor Trough parking lot tuesday night. Me, pickup truck. Our eyes met. Want to meet?

or The Plough, Thursday night filk session; I asked you for a cigarette and you didn't have any. Give me a call?

What on earth is going through these peoples' minds? Either there's a lot more that happened that isn't making it into these personals, or they're going for Optimism Poster Boy of the Year award.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000


Answer to both questions is yes.

It's been interesting so far. I find that I make rather quick judgements on people based on their writing skills. If you can't figure out how to capitalize appropriate words or write complete sentences, then maybe we aren't on the same educational level.

I'm currently comunicating with 5 men the contacted me from a personals ad I placed. I've met two of them, but doubt I ever will again.

About the emphasis women place on a man's height... For me its because I want someone that is a comfortable height for dancing and laying my hand on their shoulder. If you are over a foot taller than me then it's crick in the neck time - been there, done that - no thanks.

I think as long as you go into the whole personals ad thing with the expectation that it's just another way to meet people, then you are OK. If you are looking for Mr. Right - well, that's another story.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000



yes to both. i have answered and placed ads and they work quite well. the thing is, you cant be looking for mr right when you place those things. you kinda have to be looking for mr right now. i shop around for fun people to hang out with so it suits me well. my responses are pretty good. i dunno.. it isnt for everyone and you kinda have to take everything people say in those ads with a grain of salt. remember, they are trying to make themselves sound spectacular in fifty words or less.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000

Yes and yes. I tend to go through internet personals, mostly because they're free and I'm lazy. ;) Yahoo! Personals is a scary, scary place, let me tell you.

I've actually met one person from there so far, and it was a kinda scary experience. There's another guy that I've been chatting with for a month or so now. We've talked on the phone once or twice, and talked about meeting, but he's Mr. Uber Shy, so I don't know when or if said meeting will actually take place.

They're a strange way to meet people, I've found there are lots more misses than hits. Either that, or I just suck at writing the ads.

Lisa
Till Human Voices Wake Us...

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000


This summer I'm marrying someone I met through an Internet personals ad - so it can happen! I'll admit I'm still amazed that I met such a wonderful man through the personals!!! To jump start my sad dating life, I ran a personal ad through Hotmail. I met about a dozen losers and this was after, I believe, extensive screening. I wouldn't answer e-mails from guys who immediately asked what I looked like or those who just sent e-mails saying, "Hey, Baby, I'm available. Call me --- - ----!" I also stuck to my criteria regarding age, hobbies, and family goals (no children) which was information given to all respondents within the ad although many men seemed unable to read or believed I'd change my goals once I heard from them since over-and-over I heard from guys who weren't even close to matching my requirements (some even wrote several times begging for a date - RIGHT!!!). It was fun at first but then after a while it was tiring. I wanted to reclaim my e-mail address and take a break from the blind date life I'd been leading. I'd decided no more blind dates. I'd meet this one last guy I'd been e'ing with for a few weeks and then that's it. Well, that was it! We both hesitate to explain how we met since the assumption is that only losers advertise but man are we ever perfect for each other and he's obviously the best friend/lover/companion I've ever had. I had no idea love could be like this. At pamie.com you wouldn't guess that there are fewer women using computers but there are which means right now women who have personal ads online or who respond to those online will get noticed.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000

One time, my friend Mark and I were messing around on the web whilst passing time between lectures. We went onto Yahoo!'s personals section and found that you could do search in terms of geographical location. We ended up finding TONS of really sick personal ads from couples who wanted a slave midget and all kids of weird shit, all of them living in our very small, rural town. It was freaky. I also read one personal by a guy who was a customer I often served (um) at one of my jobs. His description of himself was nowhere approaching accuracy, and I couldn't look him in the eye without remembering his claim that he "loves to wine and dine [his] lady over a candlelit dinner, followed by berries dipped in chocolate in front of a warm fire and maybe a dip in the tub, which is surrounded with fragrant potpourri and Yankee candles". It just cracked me up, the "ALL women love to be wined and dined over candlelight, and ALL women love chocolate, and ALL women love potpourri, baths and Yankee candles!" thing. Poor schmuck.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000

Have done both, and both only once.

Pre-net, used to read adverts in weekly freebie paper. You used to be able to call & listen to recorded voices and respond for free, too. They started offering headlines and one week after they offered headlines, only two men had taken them up on this. The first one was "NUDIST!" which was all well and good, but not for me, as my admittedly limited nudist experience at the time convinced me that it's usually people you'd least like to see naked who enjoy being free of clothes--in front of as many people as possible--the most. The other said "MUSICIAN" and, out of curiosity and boredom, I dialed the voice mail number and listened to his voice ad and he was HILARIOUS. THe first thing he mentioned was that he and this other guy were th eonly ones with headlines, and similar box numbers, so if you were looking for the naked guy, you had the wrong one. Certainly not hilarious now that I've transcribed it so dryly, but it hit my funny bone and I started to laugh and suddenly, embarrassed, realized that I was leaving a response! I didn't want the poor guy to think it was derisive laughter, so I thought "what the hell" and left a brief message, never expecting to hear from him again. We ended up dating for almost 8 years and I lived with him for 6.5.

Also pre-net: was nagged into placing an advert, as had griped that had not met any nice men in ages. Demurred, was called a chicken and double-dog-dared, so wrote advert. Was very honest (had no clue people would lie, that's how stupid I was) and very upfront about what I was interested in (I know my 'type' and my preferences) and sent in ad minus photo and forgot about it. The service forwarded mail to you, and I got 400 replies in a week. Out of those 400, only *NINE* were anywhere close to what I'd stated I wanted. I.e., single, within a certain age group, not married, not separated, not a parent, not living with someone else, not 50 years old, not missing teeth, not woefully undereducated, etc. They say 35% of personal adverts are placed by married or attached people and I believe that now. I had "wannascrews" writing me illiterate scrawls, I had grandfathers wanting to be seen with a 20-something blonde chick, I had people who said my interests sucked but they thought they could change my mind, I had all sorts of flat out scary letters. And these were the ones who were up front and straightforward about things.

Out of the *NINE* responses (that's 9/400ths), three turned out to have lied egregiously about almost everything. Two were horribly stupid when I talked to them on the phone, and I made every allowance for shyness and discomfort I could. There ARE people who can't tell you who the president and vice president are, or where Canada is. My roommate at the time was off attending a function where a certain VIP was speaking and I mentioned this and one guy said "Who's Dan Quayle?" Politics isn't my area of expertise, mind you, but that was a bit much. Two were fine, but there was no chemistry at all. One seemed okay when we talked the first time, started giving me a list of his material possessions the second time (which made warning bells go off), then, after we agreed on a restaurant and a time and a date, he stood me up. I called a friend, we had a lovely meal, then I went home only to pick up a whiny message from this guy asking me in a fussy tone where *I* was. (It is during this call that I identify the slushy sound that has been bothering me during each call. He's apparently a spitter.) I called him up and told him off and that was that. Last guy was a Russian and I was a size 5 when we went out and he claimed that I could lose more weight. He was a rail and a strict vegetarian. Got fussy when the people next to us at a restaurant sprayed butter while eating seafood, the molecules were getting too close to his plate. He was articulate in letters, semi-articulate over the phone, impossible to communicate with face to face, and got angry with me. (FWIW, I roomed with and was friends with many of the foreign exchange students while in college and they all found me easy to understand.) He criticized America. We didn't have any pop culture references in common whatsoever. Didn't work.

No, wait, I tried this a time and a half. A 'friend' submitted my info to an online dating service. I saw what was written, and it was accurate enough, so I decided not to cancel right away. I went on a vacation for three days and when I came back, i had dozens of e- mails...including some profane and irate ones from one guy who asked why I was such a racist that I couldn't take the time to write a black brother back. *sad sigh* Anger & inflicting guilt = bad start to any relationship.

Had my own stresses at the time, so cancelled membership. Felt uncomfortable with idea of meeting people that way anyway, after prior advert experiences.

Meanwhile, friends are having their own horror stories. My favorite is the one where the guy seemed normal enough, and she liked him, and was delighted he called, and then he confessed that he liked wearing diapers and wetting himself and being peed on. Would she be interested in that? If she couldn't pee on him, would she just hold him while he wet himself? She took a flier on that one, said thanks, but no.

As for me and personal ads, I gave up in disgust. I know others have better luck. I *did* meet a nice man through the adverts once, but he was the one who placed the ad and I normally wouldn't respond to them. It was a fluke, and I think that fluke was the factor more than the ad. Being the ad placer has been at best disappointing and at worst a royal pain.

I do better when I give up on dating altogether and just hang out with friends. My best two (and most recent two) relationships were casual friends of friends who asked me out (as friends, I thought) to get a bite to eat and then we just sort of hit it off and, although shocked, we went on from there. And they are both still friends (though I don't see one very often). (It wouldn't be totally inconceivable if we drifted back to being more again one day, as there was/were no major problem[s], just bad timing and personal issues...but I'm not holding my breath.)

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000



Um, okay, I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I did once, when I was trying to get over somebody and needed to get outside of my social circle.

It was a hell of an ego boost, but I'd never do it again. What an assortment of freaks, losers, and pathetic souls that was. There were a couple of really nice guys, too, don't get me wrong, but I got dozens (maybe hundreds? it was unreal) of calls, and I only answered four or five of them because most of them were so scary. There were one or two that were very sad; I didn't answer them because I thought a pity call would be even more cruel. And there were an awful lot of guys named Ralph, and a lot of guys claiming to be airline pilots. (Jim? Do lots of pilots answer singles ads, or were they lying?)

So I went on ... let's see, four dates. One was a complete creep (and very ugly) who was pissed off at me for not being Jewish. "You look Jewish, and Beth is a Jewish name ... I feel like you've misled me." He hounded me for weeks afterwards.

Then there was a really cute guy who played bass for a band that did (I swear I'm not making this up) grunge covers of Edie Brickell songs. He didn't like me after we met, though. He was very cute (well, I thought so -- he was a dead ringer for Jeremy, and in fact when I met Jeremy I thought he was that guy) and he was nice on the phone, but he was dumb, dumb, dumb, and not just because he didn't like me.

Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah, then there was Sean. Sean was a rockabilly and he wanted to meet me at this dive where my dad used to take my mom when they were first married, so I thought, wow, it must be fate. It was not fate. He was a creepy, violent ex-skinhead. I had to get my number changed because of him.

And then there was the fireman. I really shouldn't tell this one because he wound up marrying an old friend of mine, but this was the one that made me never, ever, ever want to go on a blind date of any kind, ever again. Eesh. We actually hooked up and dated for a month or so. It all fell apart one night when he got, and in the middle of making out he got all weird and threatening, wouldn't let me move, and wound up banging my head really hard against the wooden futon frame. Then he said in a mocking voice, "What's the matter? Do you think I'm going to rape you?"

I made some excuse and got to the bathroom, and he started pounding on the door to come in. I wound up going out the window and running to my car, but he went out the front door and chased me. I got to my car but he blocked the door from closing, but he let me go after I told him I'd scream if he didn't go away. I drove home drunk (about ten blocks), scared to death I was going to kill someone or find him coming after me.

When I got home I had a message from him on my machine, telling me I had some problems with men and I should get help.

No, no more personal ads for me.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000


I left out a word. That should have been "when he got DRUNK." Oh, and I did not mean to disparage men named Ralph; I was just surprised to have so many guys with that name, since I know no Ralphs in real life. Maybe it's a common fake name.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000

I once placed an ad saying that I was "looking for a man who was ready to reveal everything."

I meant emotionally... needless to say, I got a lot of responses that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

I once answered an ad for a man who met me at Children's Hospital, where I'd been playing a clown for Halloween, let me park my clown suit in his back seat while we went for a drink. Midway through drinks and conversation I realized that this man wasn't a stranger; in fact, I'd read his FBI file. The copy of the file I'd seen didn't have his name, but I recognized the life story. Made for an awkward end to the evening!

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000


I kind of answered a personals ad in a newsgroup the other day fellow posted an off-topic message to this film group looking for love and I answered by saying his ISP would be getting onto him for blowing shit into the group and, well, I got a whole lot of shit blown back at me from other people in the group for doing so. Obviously some people like being spammed and don't want people to try and prevent it happening. So if that counts, then the answer to the first part of the question is yes. Otherwise, no, I've never answered one in print, and never placed one either. No idea whether or not I would.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000

Cait....

you can't lay that on us and not tell us WHY you were reading his file or WHAT was in it...

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000



yes, online, I joined matchmaker many times. it's sectioned off into major cities soo I was on the one for houston. I never paid for it even though after like 2 weeks free, you have to pay. I'd always get a new name and redirect the old people I decided to keep in touch with.

no real love connections and no meetings of any sort. I only really talk to one person I knew on there to this day. I really liked him but after 6 months of chatting and I told him I liked him and wanted to meet, he said he had a GIRLFRIEND!!!! which totally pissed me off since he led me on that whole time. he just said, "well, you never asked." geez...I mean. for meeting on matchmaker, you should make it obvious when you've found someone else, so I wouldn't get my hopes up. yeah...well, we still talk since I forgave him for the mishap and we continue to be friends.

I found the perfect person through matchmaker at one point. he liked the cure, played guitar, was italian, was very cute and we had a lot to talk about. the problem is that my account ran out and I forgot his name on the server when I resigned up. I had his phone number, but I chickened out.

all the rest were scary scary scary!! one was mad because I lied about going offline since he can *track* me and if I really didn't like him, I should have told him so. it goes against his religion to talk to people who lie to him. I was mad since I didn't lie. I did go offline but forgot to log out of the panel. what a jerk. then there was this weird guy named ben who kept making me read his profile [he updated it A LOT!!] and would ask me what I thought. like he was trying to make himself more appealing. I then told him, "I can't swim, and boats make me sick and you're too tall!" I had to give it to him straight since I knew it would not work out. he didn't meet my criteria.

and yes, I've had many of those old people respond saying, "I like 18yr olds..you down with it? I'm 30..I'm cool" when I specifically said no one over 22 is to respond. well, at least not for hooking up. I mean, it's okay to chat but if they're desperate to get together and make a connection, then no. it's just not me.

anyway, I've given up on matchmaker right now. I don't know if I'll ever go back unless I just want to go on there for the humor to read hilarious profiles of desperate people. right now, I do like someone online but we met through my webpage which is different. I have no idea if we'll ever meet since he lives in canada. it's sad since I really think of him as a soul mate.

okay, I go now. I've said too much..haha.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000


I met my sweetie through an ad I placed in the Pennysaver. I know, I know, the Pennysaver is a really pitiful way to meet somebody (I've even heard standup comedians specifically make fun of people who use the Pennysaver for this purpose,) but what can I say, it worked for me, bigtime! When I placed the ad, I was recovering from yet another lousy relationship, and I figured I had nothing left to lose. I placed a brief ad saying what kind of girl I was looking for, and I got a lot of calls. I went out with five of these girls, and every one of them was nice, and smart, and GORGEOUS... much, much prettier than you would expect girls answering a personal ad to be. After a few weeks of this, I got the call from my dream girl. We met a few days later, and I promptly fell head over heels. We're currently celebrating seven years o' love. She actually lived just a few blocks away from me and went to the same college, but if I hadn't placed that ad, we probably never would have met. Placing that dopey Pennysaver ad was the best thing I ever did!

Personals make a lot more sense to me than just trying to meet somebody in a bar or whatever. You can skip a lot of the usual mating dance and get right down to business. You can say exactly what you're looking for in a person, and you both know in twenty minutes if it's not gonna work out. With somebody you meet in a bar, it could take WEEKS before you find out that they're a hardcore wiccan or a republican or whatever.

I'll never understood the stigma attached to personal ads. If you're one of those folks who is always whining about how they can't meet somebody nice, you'll get no sympathy from me! Place a goddam personal... It's like ordering a date out of a catalog! XOXOX,

Ursula Hitler

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000


I have both written and answered them. It sometimes seems like a practical idea - presumably other Internet personals users share my interests in writing and technology, and there is a reasonable likelihood that those in the SWM/SWF market won't turn out to be gay or otherwise involved.

Most of the replies were illiterate, superficial, desperate, tasteless, devoid of useful information, etc. So much for the quality population on the Internet. But there were a few good ones. Twice I got as far as meeting the guy. The first one was perfectly OK, except I wasn't immediately attracted, and I couldn't tell if he was, so I rejected him to save him the trouble of rejecting me. Then I had second thoughts, but it was too late. The second one wrote rather nicely but turned out to have the appearance and demeanor of a serial killer. A depressive serial killer. It was a strain to sit through an hour with him. Unfortunately I had already promised him, by e-mail, the second ticket to a concert I was going to. It seemed unfair to break my promise so I gave him the ticket and then stood him up. I'm not proud of that, but he was really creepy. And he should have been on the way to guessing my reaction since I didn't even ask his last name and I didn't want to tell mine, nor did I want to arrange to meet and go to the thing together.

In the course of these adventures, I realized that familiarity is what attracts me to someone. All other things being equal, strangers just can't win over guys I've been running into regularly and already have crushes on. Occasionally I do fall for someone at first sight, and I could write an ad specifying exactly that sort of person, from strict age limits and reading background down to coloring, length of fingers, and pitch of voice. But ads like that come across as so snotty and entitled.

I agree, the job-interview conversation is horrible. It's a feature of all blind and semi-blind dating, though, not just the personals.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000


I once belonged to a group that had a personals service for its members. I was seriously lacking in a social life at the time (yeah, like that's changed), so I signed up. This was pre-internet, so you listed your address and got letters. I got a bunch of letters from guys all over the country. Some of the guys were very nice, and I corresponded with several for a while, although nothing worked out romantically.

However, I had one experience that turned me off the whole personal- ad thing forever. One of the guys I responded to wrote back the next time *from prison*. I (and several other women who'd heard from this guy) got in touch with the group's administrator, who found out that the guy had been convicted of manslaughter that occurred during an attempted rape. Needless to say, I no longer corresponded with this person, and I was very grateful he didn't have my home address (I'd used a PO box).

I guess you can meet violent weirdos anytime, anywhere, but I decided that personals were not for me.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

Yes, I have placed a personal ad. But, not for me. Here's the story: Several years ago, when I was still in high school, I was playing tennis with my step sister, the Ballet Bitch, and I beat her. Bad. Really bad and in front of her friends. It wasn't that I had just beat her, she was a sore loser and the little dance I did was a touch over the top (picture a guy 6'3 dancing in a circle and singing at top volume, "I kicked your ass, I kicked your ass,..." etc, etc, etc.) . Plus you throw in the fact that a whole mess of her friends were there watching, we were all memebers of the same Stepford Wives type of country club that I was later thrown out of, another long story. So anyway, she jumps over the net, kicks my legs out from underneath me, after I hit the ground she jumps on my back, grabs me by the hair, and proceeds to bang my head into the ground, not turf but concrete. The bitch broke my nose in two places. The kicker of this all is that she didn't get punished b/c our parents were out of town (my dad, her mom) and when they got back Dad decided that she didn't need to be punished b/c it happened several weeks before. I was mad. Jerry Springer guest mad (SAY IT TO MAH FACE, SAY IT TO MAH FACE!!). But since I have confrontation issues I just put it on the back burner till I could figure out what to do. Weeks later I am in the grocery store with my Dad, and I see that Dottie Woods column in the back of some tabloid, I think the Enquirer, and low and behold there were hundreds of ads from sad desperate women and prisoners. I took my allowance and got an ad that would run for a month, and placed an ad for her. It went something like: SWF, eighteen and likes them bad, don't care if you smoke, drink, or are in jail. Tattoos a plus. At her dad's house she had her own mailbox, and thus had her own mailing address, so instead of a po box I gave that one. Within a week of the ad being published she started getting hundreds of letters from bikers and long time prisoners, with requests like send naked pictures, dirty panties. The best was that a lot of the letters were covered with special man sauce. It was so great. Needless to say I was caught and punished, but I got the revenge I so needed. Shortly there after our parents divorced e

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

We have a great local paper here in Seattle called The Stranger (http://www.thestranger.com), and they always have some pretty whacked-out personals. I've only ever seen a few that I'd actually respond to, and this one was the absolute best:

Hate your parents? Bring this prize home to meet them! Me: SWM 30, unemployed, lives w/parents, alcoholic, college dropout, long-haired, unshaven, drives Geo Metro, Goodwill shopper, sold Microsoft @ 28.00 and spent it. I own guns. You: whatever.

Alas, I couldn't quite work up the nerve to respond to the ad right away. By the time the next week's issue of the paper came out, the ad was gone. *sigh* Ah, the ones that get away...

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000


This has been killing me...my all-time favorite e-mail that was ever sent to me was a collaboration of personals excerpted from the book "A Collection of Personal Ads From Alternative Newspapers." I'm giving you a teaser here...it'd suck up way too much space if I printed the whole thing out. However, you are MORE THAN WELCOME to shoot me a message and request the e-mail (Read: I would love to send this out to people and share the funny - I feel I'd be helping society in some kind of skewed manner). Here's just one of them...

I am spitting kitty. Ftt Fttttttt. I am angry bear. Grrrrr. I am large watermelon seed stuck in your nose. Zermmmmmmmmmm. I am small biting spider in your underwear. Yub yub yub. No mimes.

No kidding. It's that funny.

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000


I'd write one, yeah! But just to see if people actually responded. Ya know...as an ego booster. I wouldn't go out with anyone who responded though. People I don't know make me nervous. When I get nervous I throw up. It's not exactly an endearing or pleasant characteristic...

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000

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