Damn you Beth...
I'm now the owner of a bunch of little "seedlings" that I have no clue what to do with because you made a garden sound like a good idea.
Damn you Patrick...
For making me feel guilty everytime my fat butt guzzles a Pepsi that doesn't say DIET on it. Run, Run, Run!
Damn you Kymm...
For making me feel so uncool because the last play I saw was at the Pittsburgh Children's Playhouse when I was in the 4th grade.
Damn you Pamie...
For making me feel like a slug who never finds the humor in things like you do.
Damn you Shelley...
Just because you're so damn talented and I feel like I just graduated Kindergarten with new fingerpainting skills.
Damn you Scalzi...
Everybody reads the "whatever", but sometimes I'm too stupid to understand what the hell you're talking about.
Damn you Rob...
For making me want another baby because yours is so damn cute!

This rant made possible by PMS and the letter "E" (for envious).

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Answers

Damn all you online journallers for making feel that, due to being more of a reader than a writer, I'm just Not Getting It. I'd start a journal, but in my heart of hearts, I know that it would suck wind uphill, and then where would I be? Damn. Guess I'll go read some more journals, but that's the obsession thread, isn't it?

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Well, I am considering renting the baby out for parties...

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Rob- I'm an event planner, so if you are at all interested, I could see what upcoming events we could use her for. I have an interesting bar mitzvah coming up, I think they need a baby for something or other. She has great feet, can she projectile vomit on request? Just e-mail me and let me know. I already know she can cry like no tomorrow from your journal.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Don't even try it Rob. You know you'll only rent her when she's having demon baby mood swings!

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Yup, Beth kick-started my long suppressed urge to garden as well....However, I didn't even THINK of starting with the seedlings. I'd rather buy 'em already potted and see if I can keep them alive before I get into the Garden Master level of starting from seed. And I sympathize with you, Beth, because I've been working on my garden for over a month now and I'm driving my two roommates (males, both of them) insane with suggestions and input on what should be planted. So far, the only interest they've shown is in my planting vegetables....they only want food. Go figure. I enjoy the gardening and I think I'll still enjoy it even if I lose a large percentage of what is presently planted to inept gardening skills....it's a learning process, right?

erin

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

We'll work on the projectile vomiting thing. She's a smart baby, she'll no doubt be a fast learner.

As for her demon baby mood swings, how can you say that? She's the sweetest little baby in the world! Ignore the squawling behind the curtain...

(Actually, she is a sweetheart, I feel like I've perhaps misrepresented her a little. She's just, well, you know. Vocal...)

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Vocal?

Wait until she's twelve, then we'll talk about vocal !

And I'm thinking it's a good thing for a female to be able to express her displeasure whenever she feels the need. Look at it this way, Rob...she's not going to be meek and subservient when she gets married. Uh-oh...Did I say married? Oh man, somebody get Rob a glass of water and smelling salts, he doesn't look so good. *grin*

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Married? She's free to get married, you know. I mean, it'll be hard since she won't be allowed to date until she's 30, but like I said, she's pretty resourceful...

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

I'm envious of Rob and Dana that I don't live close enough to NYC to visit, yet far enough away to not pay exorbitant rent. (Though I do live near London and pay exorbitant rent, so I'm only slightly better off...) I'm also jealous of them for each having someone fun with whom to lunch, and dogs.

And what Nance said.

-- Anonymous, April 08, 2000

Dana and I actually hate each other, we just play like we're best friends so we can increase our hit counts. That, and the baby is actually a rental...

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2000

Rob who?

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2000