Here's an initial first pass.

Feedback I'm getting says that the book needs to cohere in a more orderly fashion (currently it's organized freeform and rambling, along the patterns of renga).

SO ---

I'm moving the Essential Elements of Haiku up, to the front of the book, as follows.

Following pps 12-13 (samples of 5-7-5 and freeform), bring in

• pps36-7, the senses;
• pps 46-49, haiku as being about time and place ...
• p56, haiku about spontaneity ...( page to be revised to include surprise ) ...

• As yet there are no pages about haiku moods (yugen, wabi, sabi, etc.) --- that could go here.
• Pps 62 & 19 (editing) could be paired and moved up
• Additionally, the menu (p18) could be moved up to follow the senses.
• Communing with nature would also need to be brought up.

So the basic idea is to identify and aggregate the book's "core curriculum" -- how's that sound?!

Please play with it yourselves and see.

thnx

-- Anonymous, April 05, 2000