ReVisionsgreenspun.com : LUSENET : yugen : One Thread
Here's an initial first pass.
Feedback I'm getting says that the book needs to cohere in a more orderly fashion (currently it's organized freeform and rambling, along the patterns of renga).
I'm moving the Essential Elements of Haiku up, to the front of the book, as follows.
Following pps 12-13 (samples of 5-7-5 and freeform), bring in
So the basic idea is to identify and aggregate the book's "core curriculum" -- how's that sound?!
- pps36-7, the senses;
- pps 46-49, haiku as being about time and place ...
- p56, haiku about spontaneity ...( page to be revised to include surprise ) ...
- As yet there are no pages about haiku moods (yugen, wabi, sabi, etc.) --- that could go here.
- Pps 62 & 19 (editing) could be paired and moved up
- Additionally, the menu (p18) could be moved up to follow the senses.
- Communing with nature would also need to be brought up.
Please play with it yourselves and see.
-- Anonymous, April 05, 2000